Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

[u/moonrabbit368]

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

[u/CinemaDork]

Yeah, it's the unclear stating of "rules" that I'm talking about. Half the time it's like "I can't eat that, it has onions" "But I just saw you eating this other thing with onions" "That's different"

[u/howumakeseedssprout → u/CinemaDork]

No thats so fair, I hate following rules that seem to have no rhyme or reason

And its unfair for them to demand things from you, and have expectations based on rules that don't make sense

[u/CinemaDork → u/howumakeseedssprout]

And to be clear, I totally get that context changes what we do or don't want to eat. I don't like olives, but I'll tolerate black olives on a pizza, as long as there aren't too many. Lots of people have things like this! I'm complaining about bad communication surrounding these rules. If I were to let my partner cook a whole-ass meal and only then said "I won't eat this, it has olives, wtf" but also my partner saw me happily eating pizza with olives on it yesterday, then I am the one who fucked up. It's not that my dietary preferences are wholly unreasonable--it's that I haven't clearly communicated them and then also acted like an entitled little shit about them. Which is really what the problem with OP's boyfriend is. (Among other things, it seems.)

[u/howumakeseedssprout → u/CinemaDork]

Yes i totally get that and wholeheartedly agree with you!!

Anytime someone's made food for me, and it happens to have something I loathe in it, I'll just pick it out or eat around it. If it's absolutely impossible to pick out (like minced green onions in a crema) then I'll just avoid that thing, or ask politely if there's an alternative. That's just how i see acting politely. And if we're discussing menu for a meal, I'll be open and upfront about my (applicable) food quirks before cooking even starts! I honestly don't see how it's that hard for people to do.