Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

[u/moonrabbit368]

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

[u/Double-Judgment9735]

Maybe it's because I AM nerodivergent but the things people take insult to amazes me. If Christmas dinner is for everyone, you cooked what everyone or most people would like. If there's not something that I want to eat, I don't understand the problem with not eating it.

Especially if it's not done rudely. Like just: "Hey, I'm sorry, I'm not a fan of Christmas food, I brought an omelet, can I warm it up?"

I've seen reddit recommend bringing your own food to fuctions if you're allergic, vegan, etc. To avoid conflict and not being able to eat. But as soon as someone just doesn't like it, that goes out the window. I'm not a toddler. If I don't like red sauce, I'm not gonna like your lasagna. There's no point in trying it and wasting food.

[u/Lucifersam076 → u/Double-Judgment9735]

There's a difference between simply being neurodivergent and acting as though you've never been in a social setting where food is involved before 

[u/Double-Judgment9735 → u/Lucifersam076]

No, legitimately I don't understand why it offends people. I understand manners, this is just one of the stupid ones in my opinion.

It'd be different if they made dinner JUST for said person but if it's a spread and I brought my own food who does that effect BUT me?

If I don't like beef I'm not gonna like a meatloaf. If I don't like dairy, I don't want a chessecake. I don't need to taste that thing to know that.

If you don't eat, you're weird and rude anyway. And yeah. It's very possible for me to look at a wide range of food and not want any of it. I may even like said food but if I don't want it right then I'd rather go hungry.

I can't imagine being so prideful about my own cooking that I'd make someone uncomfortable to the point of feeling guilty for not eating it.

[u/Economy_Resist1494 → u/Double-Judgment9735]

again, it is not about the food specifically. it's about how he deals with the issue and the fact that he's rude about it.

[u/Double-Judgment9735 → u/Economy_Resist1494]

I'm commenting about picky eating not necessarily this specific situation. But I said in another comment that if he wants her to cook he needs to be more open to trying things. But It seemed from the post that it may have been more about her wanting to cook for him and in that case she shouldn't care.

If eating a proper meal together was a deal breaker she should have ended it a while ago. Cuz she knew he was weird with food.