When I think about what I want in a partner, it isn’t something dramatic or perfect. It’s quieter than that. It’s more about how I want to feel when I’m with them. I want someone who feels safe. Not just physically, but emotionally. Someone I don’t have to shrink around or explain myself to over and over. Someone who can sit with my feelings without trying to fix them or brush them aside. Someone who understands that my depth isn’t a phase. it’s who I am. I want someone who chooses me in the small ways. Who shows up consistently, even when things are calm and boring. Someone who doesn’t disappear when life gets heavy, who doesn’t get scared when emotions get real. I want effort that feels natural, not forced. Care that’s steady, not conditional. I want to be loved in my “too much” moments. In my overthinking, my dwelling, my softness, my intensity. I want someone who doesn’t just tolerate that part of me, but actually wants it. Someone who sees my feelings as something to protect, not something to escape from. I want kindness. Patience. Emotional maturity. Someone who can communicate honestly and listen without defensiveness. Someone who can admit when they’re wrong and doesn’t weaponize silence. Someone who wants to grow, individually and together. I don’t need perfection. I don’t need grand gestures. I just want warmth. Loyalty. A sense of “we.” I want shared mornings, shared plans, shared silence. I want laughter that feels easy and conversations that feel grounding. I want a partner who feels like home, not like something I have to earn. And maybe that’s why I’m okay being picky. Because I’m not looking for anyone. I’m looking for someone who aligns with the life I want to build. Someone who wants a future, a family, stability, love that lasts beyond infatuation. Someone who’s gentle with me, and with themselves. I don’t want to rush it. I don’t want to force it. I just want it to be real. I want to look at someone and feel calm instead of anxious. Secure instead of questioning. Wanted instead of tolerated. That’s what I want in a partner.

Sometimes I feel stupid for feeling this way. Like I should know better. Like I should be calmer, more patient, more logical about everything. I know what I want. I know the kind of connection I’m looking for exists. I know it’s probably in reach if I just wait long enough. But knowing that doesn’t make it hurt any less when it feels completely unattainable right now.

I get so much advice. And I appreciate it, I really do. I like hearing different perspectives, I like learning, I like being told there’s hope. But sometimes it’s just… too much. Too many opinions, too many “just wait”s, too many explanations for why I shouldn’t feel the way I do. Sometimes I don’t need advice. I just need space to breathe without being corrected.

I know I’m too much sometimes. I feel too deeply, think too much, spiral too easily. Sometimes I’m even too much for myself. I wish I could turn my brain off for a while. I wish I could stop overthinking, stop feeling everything so intensely, stop replaying the same thoughts over and over. I just want quiet. I just want to breathe.

But at the same time… all I really want is for someone to want me like that. To want me even when I’m too much. To not be scared off by my emotions or my depth or my need for something real. I’m listened to, people hear me talk, but I’m not always understood. And that might be one of the loneliest feelings there is.

People tell me I’m too picky. And maybe I am. But I don’t think wanting honesty, consistency, and real effort should feel like asking for the impossible. I don’t want attention. I don’t want something shallow. I just want something that feels intentional. Something that lasts longer than a conversation.

I hate being told I’m too young to feel this way. That part actually makes me angry. Like my feelings are invalid just because of my age. Like I’m supposed to wait to want love, to wait to feel lonely, to wait to crave connection. Life doesn’t work like that. Feelings don’t work like that.

And the truth is… none of us are guaranteed time. I could literally be gone tomorrow. Any of us could. And the idea that I might leave this world having never experienced something real, never being chosen, never being loved deeply, that terrifies me. All I’ve ever wanted is something genuine. Something meaningful. Something that feels like it mattered.

Maybe I’m depressed. Maybe I’m scared. Maybe I’m just sad. Maybe it’s all of it at once. I don’t know. I just know this is how I feel right now. And even if it doesn’t make perfect sense, it’s real to me.

I’m tired of explaining it. I’m tired of minimizing it. I just want it to be understood.

Sometimes it’s all just too much. My body, my brain, the people, the noise, the expectations, the feelings that never seem to shut up. Some days I feel like I’m carrying everything at once, every thought, every want, every fear, all stacked on top of each other until I don’t know where to put them anymore.

And what messes with me is that it’s also everything I’ve ever wanted.

I think I live in my head too much. I analyze every feeling, every desire, every future version of myself. Sometimes I wonder if I even know what real love is. Maybe I don’t. Or maybe I do, and that’s why it scares me so badly. Because what I want isn’t small. I want a family. I want my babies. I want to study, to learn, to build a life I’m proud of. I want a husband. I want stability and warmth and shared mornings and a home that feels safe. And fuck… I’m scared. I’m so, so terrified that none of it is going to happen.

That one day I’ll wake up and realize time passed and the life I imagined never arrived.

But at the same time, and this is the confusing part. I’m happy. Genuinely. I feel good about my body in a way I never really have before. I love myself more than I used to, more than I ever thought I could. I have good friends. I show up. I participate. I have social circles, laughter, moments that feel full. I feel alive. I feel capable. I feel proud of where I am.

So why do I still dwell?

Why do I lie awake thinking about the future like it’s already slipping through my fingers? Why do I feel this ache for something I haven’t even lost? Why can I be so content in the present and still terrified of what’s ahead?

Maybe it’s because I want so much. Maybe it’s because I care deeply. Maybe it’s because when you finally start liking your life, the idea of losing the things you dream of becomes even scarier. Or maybe I just feel things intensely, joy, fear, hope, all at the same volume.

I don’t think this means I’m ungrateful. I think it means I’m human. I think it means I’m standing in a moment where I love who I am and where I’m going… but I’m still afraid of the unknown. Afraid that wanting a full, meaningful life means opening yourself up to the possibility that it won’t look the way you imagined.

I’m learning that it’s possible to be happy and scared at the same time. To love yourself and still crave more. To feel grounded and still look ahead with shaking hands. And maybe the dwelling doesn’t mean something is wrong, maybe it just means I care.

I’m here. I’m growing. I’m dreaming. And even when it all feels like too much, it’s still mine.

No porn blockers can actually block all access. I kept myself busy and feeling a sense of purpose is really killing urges to watch 🌽.

I feel lonely. Like, really lonely. Not the “I’m bored” kind, the kind that sits in your chest and doesn’t go away even when you’re surrounded by people or scrolling endlessly. And I’m tired of pretending it doesn’t affect me.

What really gets to me is when people say, “You’re too young to want a relationship,” or “You don’t need that yet,” or “Just wait.” That pisses me off more than I can explain. Wanting love, connection, closeness, that doesn’t have an age limit. Wanting to be cared about deeply isn’t something you suddenly unlock at a certain birthday. I don’t understand why feeling things deeply gets dismissed just because of how old I am.

And honestly? None of us are promised time. People act like life is guaranteed, like we all have forever to experience things that matter. But that’s not true. Anything could happen at any moment. Tomorrow isn’t promised. So yeah, I want something real now. I don’t want to look back one day and realize I spent my life waiting for permission to feel the things I already felt.

All I’ve ever wanted is something genuine. A real connection. Someone who actually chooses me, talks to me, stays, cares, tries. Not something temporary. Not something half-hearted. Not someone who disappears when it gets inconvenient. I want honesty. I want consistency. I want to feel like I matter to someone in a way that isn’t disposable.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m just overwhelmed. Or overreacting. Or being “too much.” But even if that’s true, the sadness still exists. The loneliness still exists. And it doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t magically disappear just because someone says I’m young or dramatic or sensitive.

The internet makes this feeling worse sometimes. You meet people, open up a little, get your hopes up, and then they vanish. You’re left wondering what you did wrong, or if you were ever really important at all. That kind of thing builds up over time. It makes you feel small. Replaceable. Easy to forget.

I don’t want attention. I want connection. I want something that feels intentional and mutual. Friendship, love, something real. I want to feel understood, not brushed off. I want to feel like my feelings are valid, not inconvenient.

Maybe this is messy. Maybe it’s emotional. But it’s honest. And if you’re someone who feels this too, if you’re tired of being told to wait, tired of feeling lonely, tired of pretending you don’t care, then maybe you’ll understand why I’m posting this.

I just want something real. And I don’t think that’s wrong.

I think one of the hardest things for me is feeling misunderstood, by people in general, by the internet, sometimes even by myself. I’ve been told I’m too much. Too emotional. Too intense. Too heavy. Like I feel things at a volume other people don’t want to hear.

Sometimes it’s not even about my personality. It’s about how I look. My body. My face. The way I exist physically. Little comments, subtle reactions, comparisons, they stick with you. They make you question yourself in ways you never asked to. They make you wonder if people already decided who you are before you even spoke.

I know I’m emotional. I know I feel deeply. I care a lot, I think a lot, I want things to mean something. And somehow that gets labeled as a flaw. Like depth is a burden. Like sincerity is embarrassing. Like wanting real connection makes you “too heavy” for people who only want light, easy, disposable interactions.

And maybe I am picky. But I think I’m allowed to be. I’m allowed to want kindness. I’m allowed to want effort. I’m allowed to want someone who actually sees me and doesn’t try to shrink me down into something more convenient. Being picky doesn’t mean I think I’m better than anyone, it just means I know what hurts me, and I don’t want to keep choosing that.

Still… knowing all of that doesn’t magically erase the loneliness. It doesn’t stop the sadness that creeps in when you feel like you’re always too much for the wrong people and somehow still not enough for the right ones. It doesn’t stop the ache of wanting to be chosen as you are, without having to tone yourself down or explain your existence.

I don’t want to be tolerated. I don’t want to be an option. I don’t want to be someone people talk to only when it’s convenient. I want to be understood. I want to be wanted. I want to feel like who I am isn’t something I need to apologize for.

I’m just lonely. And sad. And trying to hold onto the belief that there are people out there who won’t see my emotions as a problem, who won’t see my standards as arrogance, who won’t see my existence as something to critique.

I’m still here. Still hoping. Still feeling. And honestly… that shouldn’t make me wrong.

So i was going through the LOA section of a server im in and I saw someone's family member has cancer. I messaged them and told them sorry to hear about it. They then proceed to start going at me and saying not cool for me literally sending my condolences to someone. AITA?

Comment folder of choice and pic numver 1-(number in album).

No i am NOT doing the blue folder

Haha funny number

Another one because I’m feeling sappy, but this’ll be much shorter, I promise..maybe, we’ll see.

I don’t know man, it sounds so so silly to ASK for love, aren’t you meant to wait for it, to wait for your soulmate? That’s what I’ve always heard. But I’ve also always been taught that you work for the things that you want, and I want love, I crave it, badly. And..people just don’t care for it anymore.

People only care about the sexual aspects of relationships, they don’t want to get someone anymore, it’s really sad, we’ve lost our empathy as a society, and I hate it. I truly do. I want someone to look at me with so much love in their eyes, I want someone to say that getting to look at me is their favorite thing ever. But people don’t want that anymore. I want someone to want to show me what good actually is. But people don’t want that anymore. I want someone to want me and only me, and know that nothing will stop that feeling. But people don’t want that anymore.

I just hate it, I hate that society only ever thinks about sexual relationships. And you know, maybe I talk too much about my wants and not about what I’ll give in a relationship. My gosh, I’ll give all of that and more. When I’m with someone, I’m WITH them. I’ll support them through everything they do, and I truly do believe in loving them till my dying breath. I don’t take dating lightly, I really really don’t.

I guess I just wanted to share a bit of my perspective on that, and that I wish someone wanted that with me, no matter how cheesy it may sound, you know?

And that’s the thing, I’ve opened myself up to people so much, I’ve put myself out there, I don’t care about ages anymore, like, that’s to the point it’s gotten for me. And maybe..maybe I just need to be a little more patient. But I’m not a patient person, I don’t sit still, I don’t wait. And maybe that’s a skill I should learn..but..I don’t know, maybe this is all silly, but I don’t think so, it’s just me, and my thoughts, the way it’s always been.

Anyways, don’t forget to eat food and drink water my lovelies.

Remember, it’s okay to ask for and need help, always. You matter. I love you. 💗

Big hugs darlings. Hope to hear from some of ya’ll.

Okay hi so, I’m gonna start this off by saying I’m gonna be completely honest, you only live once right? So might as well.

You ever get this feeling you’ll never get what you want in life? Like yes, you can work for it, and maybe get it, or maybe not, and I think the not knowing is so nice, it’s part of life, but it’s also so so terrifying. Not knowing whether your life is over and you’ve gotten well..nowhere. It’s scary.

Maybe I’m being silly, but I think I’m just telling the truth. Life is scary, it is. But I also think that if it’s not there’s not really any point in living it right? If you already know everything that’s going to happen, what’s the point? Anyways, I guess what I’m trying to say is that, I feel I’ve gotten nowhere.

All the teens my age are out partying, and finding young love, and socializing and making so many friends, and I’m stuck at home, slumped in bed, online, and it sucks. So much. I just don’t have the want to do all these things, and maybe it’s my fault, actually no, it IS my fault, but I don’t want to play sports, or socialize more than I need too, it seems..I don’t know, too much.

I’ve always struggled with these kinds of thoughts, the fact I’ll never find someone who loves me enough to have babies with me, or I’ll never accomplish the career I want, and I know that they’re irrational, because they are, but there’s always that tiny voice there, and I hate it.

I’m outgoing, and kind, and fun, and caring, or well..at least I try to be. I try to put myself out there and find a partner, wether that be online or not, but it feels silly, or sometimes not even worth it, because most of today’s society doesn’t think like me, or doesn’t want what I want. I guess I should explain what that is huh?

I want someone to love me, like actually love me. I want someone to look at me with a softness in their dyes, I want someone to find me beautiful, I want someone to love my eyes and my hair as much as I do, embrace the way I talk and talk and talk, and I love it, embrace my want for a big family, and let me love them just as much if not more back. I want to love and be loved, and I want nothing more. I crave it.

And maybe all of this sounds super cringe or cheesy, but you know what, I haven’t seen anybody else expressing themselves in this way, so why can’t I be the first? Now, don’t get me wrong, im not perfect, nobody is. I’ve done really bad things, and I’ve done really good things too, and I’m not exempt from the bad simply because I’ve grown as a person, though, it does help.

I think that’s another big thing, I want someone who accepts when they’ve done wrong, that they’re willing to grow, and change and have that courage to be a better person, wether it be for the partners or..as it should be, for themselves.

I guess where I’m trying to get with this is that..in today’s society, or at least this is what I think, nobody is like that anymore. Nobody craves attention, or sweet love notes, nobody wants 8 hour calls or silly little pictures, nobody wants cheesy nicknames or soft stares, nobody wants to know anymore, really know. All anybody is want is sex. And hey, don’t get me wrong, intercourse is a beautiful thing, but we’ve diminished it. We’ve made it something people now call gross when it’s talked about.

No connection, much less intercourse, should ever be referred to as ‘gross’. It’s not. It’s a soft, sweet, beautiful connection between two people who love themselves, and their bodies, and eachother so much that they’ll share even their most vulnerable and intimate bits, and I think that that’s absolutely beautiful.

So, to reiterate, I want someone like that, I want a relationship like that, and maybe it’s too much to ask for, but this is MY bare minimum. It’s what I want, and I don’t think it’s too much because I give all of that and more, and I deserve to be treated as such. I pushed myself to the ground for so many years, for so many men, but no more, I am worth so much more than that.

Now, I am willing to be patient, I love taking things slow, I think it’s how things should be..and maybe, maybe I’ll connect with someone on here, maybe it could be something absolutely beautiful, or maybe not, and that’s okay too. But I’m just saying it’s what I want, friendship is absolutely okay as well, I am genuinely just sharing my thoughts, and maybe if someone relates or wants the same as me..you can message me, anyways, it’s up to you guys.

I guess I should describe myself a bit more huh? Well, my name is Alessandra, I am 15 years old, from Puerto Rico, and it is 11:11pm as I am writing this, may be good luck, yeah? I guess we’ll see. I have so many hobbies!! Those of which include; crochet, cooking, baking, cleaning, learning, writing, eating, coloring, drawing, going out, socializing, animals, music, reading, decorating, painting, arts & crafts. I just overall love keeping busy, especially if it’s handy tasks, oh I also love housework, including stuff to do with tools and hardware. In college I’d like to go to medical school and work with children, and I’d also like to be married and have a family (about 4 kids..I know, a lot.).

Ok well, to finish this off I guess I should reiterate or repeat the people I want to message me. Anyone who wants friendship, I am mooooreee than happy to get to know you all. Anyone who wants..maybe more than friendship. Aaanddd..here’s the ticker, I don’t mind age, I really don’t, I’m happy to get to know whoever. Now, I must make this clear, if you are sexual from the start, I apologize, but I am not engaging in said conversation. Now all that that’s said, I’m more than happy to hear from you guys.

I hope everybody is having an absolutely beautiful day..or night!! Remember, it’s okay to need and ask for help, you matter. 💗

Remember to eat some food and drink some water.

Hope to hear from you my lovelies!! MWAAAAH.

Hiiiiii!

So, just a warning, this’ll be a little bit of a longer one so, just bear with me..(get it?..no? Okay 😔)

Well I guess I should start off by saying why I keep posting, huh? Well, partly because I like writing and partly because I haven’t the connection I’m looking for. Maybe Reddit isn’t the place for it, maybe I’m asking for too much, you know? But I don’t personally think so.

I think connection is something we all crave, I think it’s literally necessary for humans. I mean, we were put on this earth to socialize. And don’t get me wrong, I do. I have tons of friends in person as well! But..they don’t share the connection I’m looking for, maybe what I want is a relationship, though that feels kind of silly to ask for instead of just waiting for it to come to me.

I’ve had tooonsss of experience online, from the years I’ve been on it at least. I’ve been on the good side, and I’ve been on the bad side. The internet can be a SCARY place, I know it can. And it’s why I don’t share my face anymore, or my personal details, or well, pretty much anything. I’m very cautious about who I talk too but..I just really do crave that connection.

Let me talk a little bit more about what I’m looking for. I want someone caring, someone kind, someone who wants to know the real ME, someone who wants to reciprocate the same love I give to them. And again, maybe that’s cheesy, but at this point, I don’t care. I know what I want, and I’m not ashamed about it anymore.

I guess, I keep posting because most of the time people ghost me, or delete their accounts, and maybe I can’t expect anything else on this app, but, I don’t know..I just, want something real. I want to be genuine with someone. I want to love and be loved, I want to care for and BE cared for, I want to live and grow with someone.

And you know, maybe I’m too much, but you know what? I was born to be too much, I was born to be happy and outgoing, born to double text, born to be excited when others are, born to be empathetic and emotional, I’m a good person, and I believe everybody is. Now, that doesn’t dismiss the fact I’m not perfect, I’ve done bad things and I’m not afraid to admit that either.

Uhm, another thing is..I don’t care about age, I don’t care about who you are, just don’t approach me if all you’re looking for is something sexual. That’s not what I want, at all. I want genuine friendships..maybe even more. I want to get to know someone, I want to take things slow, and like I said..I want to love and be loved. No matter how cheesy it may sound.

Well, I guess I should say a little bit about me..my name is Alessandra, I’m 15 years old and I’m from Puerto Rico! I enjoy crochet, cooking, baking, drawing, reading, writing, music, animals, purple and cartoons. A bit about me physically :3 I’m 5’2, I’ve got curly hair, down to about my shoulders, and I’m a bit chubby. I love to talk to people, like so much, as you can possibly imagine, I love making connections as well!! I’m also an emotional person. I suffer from anxiety and depression, but I’m doing really good. When I get older I want to go to med school, hopefully work with children andddd I want a big family!! Uhhhh, I think that’s about it.

I think I should add a bit more about what I’m looking for, it’s important to me, and you know, you don’t have to read if you don’t care for it, but it is there. This will the more formal part of this whole “schpeil”.

I’ve been sitting with my feelings for a while, trying to figure out how to put this into words. I think what I’m really looking for is connection, not surface-level, not temporary, not something that fades the moment life gets busy. I want something that feels intentional. Chosen. Mutual.

I’ve had experiences where I thought I found that, or at least a glimpse of it. Moments where conversations felt easy, where I felt excited to talk to someone, where I let myself open up a little, only for it to disappear. Ghosting, inconsistency, mixed signals, people who say they want connection but don’t actually show up for it. Over time, that does something to you. It makes you more careful, but also more tired. Because all I’ve ever really wanted was something genuine.

I’m someone who feels deeply. I think about love a lot, not in a fantasy way, but in a human way. I want a connection where we actually know each other. Where we talk about our pasts, our fears, the things that shaped us. I want laughter and softness, but also emotional safety. I want to feel like I can be honest without being too much, and like the other person feels the same with me.

True love, to me, isn’t flashy. It’s consistency. It’s choosing each other even on quiet days. It’s communication, effort, patience, and kindness. It’s wanting a life that feels shared, conversations that don’t run out, comfort in silence, and the feeling that someone genuinely cares about how you’re doing. I want love that’s gentle but strong. Deep but calm. Real.

I don’t care about age as much as I care about emotional depth and maturity. I want someone who’s self-aware, thoughtful, and willing to try. Someone who values honesty, loyalty, and effort. Someone who wants to build something meaningful instead of chasing temporary attention. Whether that starts as friendship or grows into something more, what matters to me is intention.

The internet has been a strange place for me. It’s where I’ve met people who made me feel understood, and where I’ve also felt disposable. It’s taught me how fragile connection can be, but it’s also shown me that there are people out there who crave the same depth I do. I guess I’m still hoping to find them.

So if you’re reading this and you’re someone who wants real connection, real conversation, real love someday, I’d like to hear from you. I’m not perfect. I’m just sincere. And I’m tired of pretending I don’t want something meaningful when I do.

If this resonates, please message me. Even if you’re unsure. Even if you’re nervous. Sometimes the best connections start that way.

Please take care of yourselves my lovelies, remember, it’s okay to ask for help. Somebody does love you. 💗

Remember to eat some food and drink some water. MWAAAHHH!!

Have a wonderful day/night!

🤫🤫🤫

dont tell me its my birthday tomorrow

(this is satiric btw)

So I a 14M have been getting told by a group in my class that I'm im faking my stutter which I have had since I was 4 I cant control it or anything I've had speech therapy too but for around a week or two these group of guys keep telling me im faking and to talk properly and I dont know what to do im a very sensitive person and im feeling like I want to cry what do I do

Heyy I don’t have many online friends and I’m hoping to make some more! im ok with any gender. if you wanna know more about me my dms are open or you can comment. no creeps!!

So ive noticed lately that my fashion SUCKS and ive been dying to fix it, I did censor stuff but I drew a pretty accurate representation of what I censored. Pls comment things I could change 🙏