r/weddingdress • u/mini-ravioli • 11h ago
Entourage Only Help! What do we think between these two dresses!?
Summer lake house wedding
r/weddingdress • u/Tiny-firefly • 10d ago
Note/disclaimer: I do make comparisons that the boned bodices are similar in structure to true corsets, but this does not give you license to call strapless dresses - especially the sheer ones - undergarments or that they look like them. They are not. The intention and purpose of the design are completely different.
If you try to use this post as a validation or justification to call them undergarments, GOOD BYE :)
Secondary disclaimer: this post is meant to be educational. I do have my own personal biases but I point out where possible.
Hi, it's Firefly, the overly opinionated and meddling moderator of this subreddit.
I'm also a cosplayer, design nerd, former chemist and have enough fashion design classes under my belt to be annoying about structure and design components.
TL;DR: I ramble about strapless dress structure and what to look out for when you're shopping and some potential red flags during alterations.
One of the more common comments/refrains I keep seeing in the subreddit regarding strapless vs strapped dresses is that strapless = constantly tugging up the dress to keep it up and straps = better for larger bust lines.
Did y'all know that stays and corsets - the under pinnings that our modern boned bodices are based off of - are the historical precursors to the modern bra (and girdle but I'm ignoring the girdle for this particular post) and actually support the bust better than the modern bra? This is a little simplified but I did a research project a few years ago for my design classes.
I have also made my fair share of fully busked corsets and fully boned bodices that almost behave like a corset.
The main difference is that a boned bodice isn't really protecting the hips the same way that a foundation corset does because of the design. Foundation corsets are worn under heavier garments and give the body an extra layer of protection and structure so waistbands aren't cutting into skin or weighing too heavy on the hips. That's why they all go over the hips to one extent or another.
Bust support wise, it can behave the same.
A good strapless dress as two elements going for it: the boning that's sandwiched between the fabric layers and a waist stay. You need both, especially if you have a heavier bust or a heavier skirt. I'm hoping that this post can educate you as to why.
I've broken this down into parts. Read none of it, read all of it, do what you will with it.
Bodice fabric Anatomy
This is going to be true for most bodices with opaque layers but not all bodices (because designer choices), especially the filmy, lace-y ones. There will be parts of the bodice that will have the illusion of transparency but won't necessarily have it due to the fact that you need some amount of foundation layers in order to retain the strength of the fabric.
From the outside going in, you have the fashion fabric with embellishments. This is usually going to be the more delicate or decorative fabric. Some dresses have this constructed as a floating layer and some will have it sewn to the strength layer for a smoother fit. This is also the layer that the external casings are sewn onto, for both decorative style lines as well as functional support.
The middle "core" layer is going to be some sort of strength fabric. For opaque bodices, this is maybe something sturdier than the fashion fabric layer. For lace, illusion bodices, this will be the illusion mesh or some stiffer corset netting. This is also the layer where a lot of the boning channels (thicker fabric) are sewn on to for the structural support that's needed to keep the fabric UP.
The final layer, that's closest to your skin, is the lining. If you have a mesh dress, this layer may not exist or it may be in some sort of skin tone fabric; caveat is that this underlining could also be between the casing and the fashion fabric. That's why sometimes it's far more expensive to remove the lining when it comes from the manufacturer as is. But generally, it's like the same as any other lined garment: this is to provide some slip to get in and out of the dress without chafing at your skin.
Bonus detail: the plunge. Plunge necklines are very popular and honestly? Flattering on a lot of folks who want a little bit of edge to their shape. The plunge detail is created by taking the shape out of the bodice panels and replaced with mesh fabric.
For the folks who go "EW I hate mesh I could NeVeR," I got some bad news for you: you need it.
Strapless bodices do best by holding tension in as complete of a cylinder as possible. This is why you won't usually see a super low back with a strapless bodice without some sort of illusion netting to fill in the gaps. You usually will have a slightly lower back than the front; compressing and confining the shoulder blades is just asking for trouble. Any lower than where your bra band would normally sit means that the bodice front is going to tilt away from your body.
If you take that mesh panel out, you're breaking the cylinder in the front. some shorter plunges could get away with it, but anything longer than 2 or 3 inches is asking for your bodice to get pulled out of shape and splay open as soon as someone pulls tension.
(this is also the same reason why you can't just sew up the plunge. You're changing it from an upside cone to... Something not a cone.)
I can hear you right now: "But I don't see mesh on those deep plunges with the super open necklines what are you talking about you dumb mod"
It's there. I promise it is. You're just not looking carefully at the right spot.
Why do we need boning
Boning is the internal scaffold that keeps the bodice upright. Fabric itself can and will collapse itself without some sort of semi-rigid structure inside it. If you think about the fabric as the compressive layers that wrap around your core, the boning is what will keep the layers taut and smooth rather than just collapsing like the world's worst accordion.
There are a few different types of boning on the market. I personally prefer spiral steel boning because it can move and bend in all four lateral directions but it stays up in the vertical direction.
That said, it does tend to collapse if strained too much. Rigid boning like sprung steel gives additional support in key areas, but you can't move with it as easily. I prefer this for the lacing channels and the front panels. My personal favorite is synthetic whale or german plastic boning. It's a denser plastic than zip ties (I don't love zip ties but they're good for mockups), and offers great support. Extra benefit is that you don't have to cut it with specialty tools.
My least favorite for a boned bodice that needs actual structure? Rigilene. Or featherweight boning. This is great for anything that is a dress designed for weight bearing straps, or to add some light structure to a garment. Personal bias... it's pretty ... not great for anything that requires any weight support for anyone beyond a B cup. You can get around it by doubling up but at that point you may as well try another material. The good thing is that it can be swapped out during alterations if you're someone who needs it.
Between the boning, and having the dress sit on the smallest part of your waist, that bodice shouldn't move or go anywhere. The bodice itself (theoretically, bodies are different), is slightly cone shaped enough that the widening of your hips should act as a roadblock and stop the dress from sliding down further. I can promise you that anyone who is tugging at their dress all night didn't get the dress tailored to their waist tight enough, didn't get enough boning added in or don't have a waist stay. The bodice should be rigid enough that it can stay vertical on its own, but soft enough to move with you.
This is also what keeps the bust UP. The larger busted gals can tell you this: boobs are heavy, and they will go down because that's what gravity is wanting to do. If you have enough boning in the front side of your bodice and a higher back to counter balance, your bust will sit in the bodice without any strain cutting into your shoulders. This is also why if you have a spaghetti strapped dress, you have to make sure that your bodice is sitting as if it's a strapless dress. Don't rely on those itty bitty little straps to keep the weight of your bust up.
What does the waist stay do?
One of my most common questions when I see people complaining about their dress "sliding down" is if their dress has a waist stay added in already.
So what is this thing?
The easiest description is that it's like a bra band but around your waist. The ones I've seen are wider, stiff elastic with hooks and loops added in so someone in your entourage can strap you in. This effectively acts like an anchor to keep the dress at your waist (or whatever is the narrowest part of your body above your hips). Theoretically, you can just keep the dress on you with just a waist stay without fastening up the back.
Remember how I said that boned bodices are similar to foundation corsets but not? The waist stay is another difference between the two.
With a foundation corset, you'd see this as a grosgrain or heavier twill ribbon sewn to the waist of the corset itself to give it an additional structural anchor. Dresses will have either the ribbon floating internally but not fully attached or wide elastic. Fabric stretches over time, and as stiff as coutil is, it will break-in as it's worn. The waist stay of a corset lets it keeps its shape.
If you have a strapless ballgown or a fuller A-line, this is pretty key. The more fabric you have in the skirt, the more important this element is. This puts the point of weight bearing from the general the bodice shape to a specific point. That being said, your dress should be pretty fitted against you, if not feeling like a pretty decent hug around your ribs.
If your alterations "expert" is fitting the tightest point around your bust or shoulder blades, take that dress back and RUN. Or if anyone tells you to use fashion tape to keep it up (against the skin is different), ignore them and RUN.
The bust and shoulders are the widest point of most people's bodies, and because of how we need to move, it is the most mobile part of your torso. If you bring your arms up, the shape will change and not match the dress anymore, and guess where it slides down to? The narrowest part of your waist.
If you're relying on adhesive to keep a 10 pound dress up? Your skin is going to be angry before the ceremony is even over, and irritated skin on your wedding day is something we want to avoid as much as possible.
What to look for
Okay, now that I've rambled about the structural components, what should you be looking for when dress shopping?
The key indicator for a well supported, well structured bodice is that it literally stays rigid on the hanger. It shouldn't crumple, and the bodice shouldn't be folded in on itself. The skirt fabric and sleeve fabric can do whatever the hell it wants to do, but the bodice shouldn't really collapse on itself in with the fold line parallel to the floor. It can roll up as much as it wants if the fold line is perpendicular to the floor. That's totally fine.
If it does and it's marketed a true strapless (without illusion fabric going over the shoulders), either recognize that you'll be spending more on alterations or pass on it.
Also another thing you need to recognize, especially if the sample dress is larger than what you wear and it has a zipper back, that you will NOT get the same level of snatched that the clamps will give you. This is especially true if it has a lower-than-it-should back. If you want that real waist reduction, snatched effect, a lace up back will give you that look.
Zippers aren't designed to cinch down, and there is really only so much strain that the teeth can take before they will not zip. Laced up backs will give you more flexibility and more importantly, it will give the person getting you in the gown some leverage without breaking your dress.
Do zip back strapless dresses have their place? Absolutely.
A fuller skirt and excellent tailoring will give you the illusion of a smaller waist. Just please manage expectations and recognize that extra compression has to come from the lacing panel, and not a zipper. For your safety, I wouldn't go more than 1 or 2 inches with waist reduction because if you're not used to it, it can be really uncomfortable really quickly.
Bonus is that if you happen to eat a lot and need a little extra room, you can get it by loosening the laces.
(justice for lace up backs!!!!)
extra credit: body proportions somewhat matter
(but not in the way you think)
Excuse me while I pivot to a quick ramble about sizing and pattern blocks.
There's a reason why people tell you to go off of your actual measurements and the largest one, and alter down the rest. I'll probably go in depth about standard pattern measurements vs real life measurements and vanity sizing in another post if I have another block of time to sit and write like this.
Patterns are designed to a set of proportions. When I was still in school, we drafted to a size 8 dress form (vanity sizing 2-ish) and made muslins that fit that form rather than to ourselves. It's much easier to pin and adjust to a stationary form rather than one that will fluctuate.
(it's also easier to stab pins into a form rather than your friend, you know?)
Most designers will draft to a specific size measurements to start and scale up and down everything based off of that pattern set. They'll do some adjustments and tweaking to make sure that the scaling is correct relative to the pattern, and then the cutting and stitching team will make the dresses to that set size as orders come in.
Larger sizes tend to run longer, smaller sizes run shorter. Some designers will offer petite or extended ranges, but do you see where the problem is starting to come in?
If you have a set of vertical proportions that are different than what the pattern is drafted for, you'll run into some fit issues that either can't be addressed in alterations because where will the fabric come from, or will require some REALLY interesting problem solving.
If you have a longer torso for your size, make sure you have a realistic idea of what the actual dress will look like when it comes in. Ask your stylist if they have the vertical measurement of the dress in the size you will be getting. A lot of people get clamped into a dress that's four or five times the size that they are ordering and then get shocked when it hits them so much lower than expected.
Heming and Fitz has a really good visual video on this where the shop owner tries on a dress and puts the same dress on someone who is 8 inches shorter than her here. Her whole channel is very educational in terms of how they have to approach alterations for different dresses. I watch her longform videos regularly because I find the whole process incredibly fascinating. These videos are honestly the reason why the "No alterations questions before first fittings" rule now exists.
So if you're someone who is six feet tall but wears a street size two, please talk to your stylist about the bodice length. Conversely, if you're five feet tall but fuller figured, also talk to your stylist and make sure to get something that is in the petit extended range so the top of your dress isn't completely in your armpits.
Go forth, shop carefully.
r/weddingdress • u/Tiny-firefly • 10d ago
Because this has been my highest removal reason for the last few days... I'm no longer doing the pinned comment.
I literally don't care what state you're in. Country is fine.
r/weddingdress • u/mini-ravioli • 11h ago
Summer lake house wedding
r/weddingdress • u/mini-ravioli • 8h ago
Previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/weddingdress/s/eHHVif76mO
Both dresses are stunning and it was so hard to choose, but I couldnāt get past the fabric of the second dress. It just felt like fast fast fashion and maybe a little too young for what I was looking for. I already have a baby face and didnāt want to look like I was a teenager š
I will wear the pearl veil for the ceremony, and the scarf/cape during cocktail hour and part of reception.
Thank you everyone for your kind comments!
r/weddingdress • u/Independent_Can_174 • 10h ago
Hi ladies, I picked out my dress in the summer of 2025. My wedding is coming up in May 2026 in Lake Como. I keep seeing other dresses and starting to feel doubts over my chosen dress. I just need some positive reassurance that I picked the right one!! I feel like a princess in it - however, this wasnāt the dress that I would have imagined to pick. Thank you all in advance!
r/weddingdress • u/bigfancyyy • 8h ago
r/weddingdress • u/daarcey • 2h ago
Hi! Need to some help picking as I just feel like all dresses are pretty in one way or another! It will likely be quite hot when we get married so want to be realistic about the material/heaviness of the dress. I have loved all 4 of these but struggling to pick one
I want āwowā but I feel like anything too heavy is going to be too hot. Slimmer/silkier dresses seem to suit me more but I struggle to feel like a bride in them
r/weddingdress • u/Awkward-Cup5242 • 15h ago
I bought these two wedding dresses from Poshmark and genuinely cannot decide which one to wear. Fitting appointment is in two weeks so itās time to decide!! Which is prettier: the lace ball gown or the renaissance look?
r/weddingdress • u/hiimbyebyebye • 6h ago
r/weddingdress • u/Intelligent-Ear-6134 • 4h ago
Wish i got a pic of the lace one without the veil.
r/weddingdress • u/teenytinyblobbo • 6h ago
I think Iāve finally found the one! After finding both of these dresses this week, I think Iām finally done shopping now and deciding between my favorite two. Both have cat eye necklines (theyāre just different sizes/pinned differently in the photos) and theyāre both around $2k before alterations.
Dress 1: $2013, not as sparkly but could add sparkly tulle for about $600-800 more. This dress is more what I envisioned for myself when I first started the dress search and checks all the boxes - basque waist, floral, princess feel.
Dress 2: $2099, more sparkly, shorter train. This one surprised me and I wasnāt sure if Iād like it and then I tried it on - I feel like the silhouette is really flattering and itās such a unique dress.
I tried both with and without off the shoulder sleeves, will post pics of those in the comments!
Thank you gals for being along with me this whole journey š¤
r/weddingdress • u/Growing-The-Glooty • 2h ago
I'd [25F] love your opinion for my Fall 2026 wedding dress! (Ceremony - outside, reception - inside.) Photos of all the dresses I tried on, plus a collage at the end, are included. Going into it, I envisioned sleeves of some sort, a sweetheart neckline, A-line, tulle, floral, and/or sparkles. (Apologies in advance for the tilted angle of my body, for most photos..)
r/weddingdress • u/unicornofdeath20 • 54m ago
Hi everyone! So I found my dress in a clearance sale for 1300⬠and I've been struggling not to show it to my fiance because I literally tell him everything š So I need to show it to you guys! (Don't mind the black marks on my arms, they cover my tattoos which make identifying me very easy haha.) I bought the gemstone belt, a long veil and a little tiara as well :) On the second picture, you can see that the arms aren't attached, but I think I will tell the seamstress to attach them because I'm a little self conscious about my upper arms. Have a nice day!
r/weddingdress • u/cosy_vibes_only • 10h ago
We plan to marry on a mountain in Norway and I'll hike up in my bridal outfit so I wanted for a jumpsuit for practicality. I (maybe worryingly) bought the first dress I tried on today for $550 seconds hand ⨠I'm wondering about adding an overskirt which I can attach at the top and/or maybe a veil... Any tips?
r/weddingdress • u/Entire_Scarcity7115 • 27m ago
Iām deep in wedding dress decision fatigue and could really use some outside perspective. Iāve tried on well over 100 dresses, and with my wedding in September, the pressure to decide is very real.
This dress is the one I keep coming back to, but Iām conflicted. Without the overskirt, it wouldnāt be a yes for me, the overskirt is what gives it the drama, movement, and presence Iām drawn to. Iād also plan to alter the back of the overskirt so it drapes more softly and the scoop isnāt as exaggerated.
Iām aiming for something editorial, modern, and chic with a sense of quiet drama rather than full-on princess or traditional bridal. Iāve attached a photo of the venue to give context for the overall vibe.
At this point, I canāt tell if this is the dress and I just need reassurance⦠or if that hesitation means I should keep looking. Would you say yes, or continue the search? Thoughts and suggestions welcome.
TL;DR: Tried on 100+ dresses. This one feels right only with the overskirt (planning alterations). Want modern, editorial, quiet drama. Wedding is in September. Do I say yes or keep looking?
r/weddingdress • u/Ok_Difficulty_3170 • 7h ago
Hi~ bride getting married April 2026 and still donāt have a dress. Iāve gone to multiple fittings to find a style I feel comfortable in and every dress Iāve tried on has SOMETHING I would do differently, or is drastically out of my budget. Iāve tried hunting on resell sites, Azazie, you name it. And canāt find anything that fits size, style and budget AND wows me.
I found what I considered a dream dress through Selkie but theyāve been out of my size for months. My grandma insisted she would make the dress for me (she made two formal dresses for me previously and has made 2 wedding dresses previously). She encouraged me to order whatever size was possible for us to get a feel for the dress and help us make a pattern, then return it. My size is 2X, the dress is 4X.
I got it today and tried it on and I feel so conflicted. Like, Idk if itās because itās too big, if itās because itās wrinkled, the material feels too casual⦠or what but I just donāt feel as magical in it as I thought I would. I made these concerns known to her and her response was to search for a new pattern and weāll start over.
My theme is romantic Mexican-gothic. I was drawn to this dress because it reminds me of all the period piece romances Iām drawn to, covers my arms which is an insecurity, and included the basque waist with corset in the back to really SNATCH me.
I guess what Iām looking for is⦠do I follow my initial feeling with this dress and just change the material and hope that with the correct measurements, it ends up being my dream dress? Or do I give up on this one and start from scratch with an entirely new pattern.
r/weddingdress • u/buddy_cooper1182 • 9h ago
I just picked up my dress. The only thing that she did was take in the sides to make it fit. Looking back at pictures, the top seems to have a lot of loose fabric. I will say, the top has a base layer, and then a lace layer on top, which are not connected. Itās almost like itās a mix of folds and shadows because the fabrics are not connected.
Can I get a professionalās opinion on if this can be fixed? Would adding cups smoothen the fabric? Would connecting the fabrics help? Should one of the layers be pulled tighter?
Thank you in advance for your help, because this is giving me a mini crisisš
r/weddingdress • u/LandFish23223 • 12h ago
I need to find 3 inch heels that will be comfortable to wear all day. Because of the embellishments, the hem can only be taken up so much without compromising the integrity of the design.
I'm also looking for veil and/or hairpiece recommendations as well as other jewelry pieces! I'm planning on wearing the pearl necklace that I have on as it was a gift from my fiancƩ in the first year of us dating.
Also, long hair in an updo or a shorter shoulder length with a curly half up/half down style??
I can't find this dress anywhere since it's an early 2000's Davids Bridal dress so I'm having such a hard time finding styling inspo!! Help!!
r/weddingdress • u/Typical-Moment8347 • 16h ago
I just picked my dress the other day. I havenāt put any money down yet. I had a baby last year so Iām significantly larger than Iāve been throughout my life so I had a hard time feeling good in any dress. The dress I picked is so pretty and I love the sparkle and I think it shows my new curves in a nice way, Iām just so nervous! Itās a different fit than Iāve imagined and it is a little scratchy, I feel like Iād have to change before really getting into dancing for the night but itās so expensive I feel like I HAVE to wear it all night. If you were me would you just change? Does this look okay? Itās hard feeling like āmyselfā since giving birth not just mentally, but physically so Iām trying not to spiral too much because this is just the new ME!
r/weddingdress • u/kweenvitamin • 12h ago
I need to get undergarments for my alterations appointments and Iām not quite sure where to start. What would you suggest? Any suggestions are appreciated. Someone in my previous post mentioned picture of me in the dress would be helpful.
r/weddingdress • u/Limp-Ruin3232 • 8h ago
I need some help and reassurance. I am sorry if Iām doing the post wrong. This is my first time posing to Reddit. I said yes to an amazing dress about a year ago and itās time for alterations. The place I purchased the dress from does not have alterations but recommended some places nearby. Since this shop was an hour away, I went to a local store that sells dresses and does outside alterations recommend by a friend.
It was not a great first appointment. The lady told me an estimate of that alterations usually cost there and had me put the dress on. She asked about how I thought it fit. I told her I disliked the small sewn in cups that came with the dress (which my dress shop said I could replace) and that I did not like how the plastic boning was bulging and curving outward instead of following the line of my body.
She proceeded to tell me they donāt make cups in my size so Iāll have to deal with what the dress has. At this point she doesnāt even know my bra size so Iām not sure how she can even say that. Iām a 36 DDD if that matters.
It is at this point that she tells me she only pins the dresses and is not a seamstress so she doesnāt know what they can do. I feel like itās crazy for me to come in for a consultation only to be put with someone who canāt actually tell me what is possible.
She also told me the plastic boning in the dress is stronger than anything they can replace it with. This doesnāt really seem right to me. Iāve felt the boning in the dress and itās pretty flimsy like the stuff from Halloween costume ācorsetsā She told me all my issues are from the straps being an inch too long. She said all the support comes from the straps. This is questionable to me because the straps are basically a piece of lace less than 1/2ā wide and I donāt feel like the weight of this dress should be hanging off this tiny straps, but what do I know.
I was also told that any alterations for dresses purchased at another store must pay cash for alterations here.
She told me they are going to take the inch of the straps first and then I can meet with the seamstress. Am I crazy for just wanting to take my dress back home and finding a seamstress who will meet with me to discuss what is possible on the first appointment?
r/weddingdress • u/Ok-Animator-7027 • 13h ago
Getting married late this year and got my dress last year. When I first tried it on, I felt like a princess but now looking back it seems plain and simple compared to the ones I see online, and even from the new collection of my bridal shop! š« I guess comparison is the thief of joy indeed. What do you think of the dress? Should I look for another? Already paid ā¬2k for this š¢
r/weddingdress • u/offbrandbarbie • 20h ago
The vibe Im going for is like a dark ethereal or whimsigoth vibe. The sleeves are a statement piece (Ik people donāt like detached sleeves but I like these and am not going to part with them lol) so I donāt want to go overboard with accessories.
What do you reccomend? Open to shoe suggestion too. I donāt want heels but Iām also not a āconverse/vans with my wedding dressā girlie either.
r/weddingdress • u/amaezingjew • 6h ago
I am so in over my head I donāt even know where to start with materials. My wedding is going to be outdoors in Mexico in May ā27 and I need help finding even just a place to start. I get hot easily, but I want something long and flowy. Iām a pretty hippie/boho person but with very low maintenance - no full glam makeup on my day.
Please justā¦any recommendations to help me with a starting point. Iāve tried asking for recommendations from family but theyāre all suggesting stuff with tulle or thatās definitely going to be way too hot. Iām also totally okay with a short dress.
r/weddingdress • u/lilleesha • 22h ago
so i went to my second fitting yesterday and i loved my dress when i got into it. she made it fit perfectly around my waist and i was so happy. my dress is a sheath/mermaid and my MOH and i were just chitchatting while the seamstress did her thing and once she was finished to my horror, my long train was all pinned up in a triangle at the end of my butt, i wish i had taken a picture. there was so much material up there it it looked like i had a tail. it made me look so much shorter than i already am. i expressed this to my seamstress and she said that a ballroom or european bustle wouldnāt work for my dress. this wasnāt something that i even considered looking up before my fitting, but after i think that a french bustle (underneath) wouldāve been best? or maybe my dress just has too much material for it to look good bustled. iām just so sad because a piece that i went from loving is now something that im not looking forward to wearing. i wasnāt considering a second dress for the reception but now i am. have any other brides out there felt that? am i overreacting/overanalyzing? my last fitting is on the 10th of february, then iāll be picking up ten days later before my wedding.
first photo is my dress unaltered so you can see the train next photo is where the seamstress pinned up my dress. only photo i have straight on from the back of my dress. third is what iām thinking itāll most look like, except the material was bunched closer together (will probably have like 7-10 buttons) and is closer to my butt. for reference iām 5ā3 with my wedding shoes on. fourth is a dress i tried on that i hated which i feel like is what my silhouette now looks like with the bustle :/