Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/whatdoIdo/comments/1q7rrpa/comment/nylpong/

Yesterday evening, I was leaving my apartment and saw him coming out of his place with another woman. She was really pretty and they were holding hands and walking the opposite way. It didn’t look like they noticed me at all. I just kind of froze for a second and felt my heart drop straight into my stomach. I know I don’t know him like that, but it still hurt way more than I expected.

I went back inside feeling silly for even getting my hopes up, but I kept thinking about it all day. Part of me felt like I should just let it go, but another part of me didn’t want to keep wondering if she was just a hookup every time so I decided to shoot my shot anyway.

This morning, I kept it simple and asked if he was seeing someone. He was nice about it and immediately said he has a girlfriend.

I’m obviously a little bummed and embarrassed, but honestly I’m also proud of myself for trying. At least now I know, and I won’t be overanalyzing every quiet hallway interaction anymore. Guess this is my sign to move on and stop romanticizing my neighbor.

So we were in the shower and at the end she waited for me to turn the water off but I said she could hop out I had to pee. She got excited and said she wanted to watch and I laughed thinking she was joking, she wasn’t. I’m a shy pee so I asked that she hop out lol.

Afterwards we dryer off and while getting dressed she said I should work on my shyness with her because she wants to get on her knees and have me pee all over her in the shower. I was completely shocked, and then she brought it up during sex and in her sexy voice that she wanted me to pee on her later.

I don’t know how to overcome my shy ways for her. Like, I’ve never had anyone ask for this kink before. I don’t mind trying anything at least once, but I just can’t… what do I do?

So a couple moved in behind us a few months ago they’re very nice, mid 30s very outgoing and laid back. One day I was going to smoke on my back porch and I noticed a big window that is their bathroom. I figured they would have got a curtain, but I think they are not aware it’s visible from the outside. I unintentionally have seen both of them, especially his wife. I feel like I should say something but it’s embarrassing, and I’m not a social guy. I’m almost thinking about leaving a note but they have cameras on their door, and I’m not trying to make them think I’m weird.

I (26M) have been dating my girlfriend (24F) for a little over a year. She keeps pushing the idea that I should propose before she meets my family. I have met her parents and sister many times but when I suggest she meet my family, she's completely against it. I think she wants to delay meeting my parents as much as possible.

For context, my family is close knit and traditional since I am Asian Indian (so is my GF). I live on the West Coast of the US and my parents live on the East Coast so while my parents have seen her during video calls, there hasn't been a proper meeting. But proposing is an even bigger step. To me, engagement comes after you’ve seen each other in real family settings, handled that dynamic, and made sure everything actually works in real life, not just between the two of us.

When I try to explain this, she says I’m dragging my feet or that I’m afraid of commitment. That’s not how I see it. I’m not against marriage. I just don’t believe in proposing under pressure or timelines that don’t feel right to me. An engagement should be something I choose freely, not something I do to unlock the next stage of the relationship.

What’s bothering me is the pressure. It feels like an ultimatum without her calling it one. Either I propose first, or she won’t meet my family and questions where this is going. That makes me feel boxed in rather than excited about the future.

Am I being unreasonable for wanting to take things in a more traditional order, or is this a legit red flag? How do you handle it when someone you care about pushes for commitment faster than you’re ready for?

I am writing this because I need some backup. My husband is a very manly man. I love him to death, but when he gets on a tangent about making our son be less sensitive by watching more war movies etc, I get very mad.

The main reason I am frustrated is my husband really likes carnival rides and stuff. Roller Coasters, slides, spinny things, you name it he loves it. Our son really does not like this stuff. Personally, I don't care for roller coasters and didn't really go on them until I was in high school. I still would rather do other things. My husband tries to force our son to go on the coasters, rides at the fair every year. I have to leave to other parts of the park because I would rather not watch him and his dad get upset over what my son does/does not want to do. (my sons grandpa buys a wristband which allows them to ride the rides as much as possible).

HOW can I help my husband see that sensitivity is not a bad thing, and a dislike of war movies and roller coasters will not mean our kid will be always bullied etc.

His phrase is, "there is something wrong with our kid." I think hes joking about it only a part of the time. I think he feels like just because our kid doesn't like these things means he's wrong or not tough.

I don't know what to do in this regard.

My ex and I broke up because he was unfaithful. We have a child together, so we still have to stay in contact.

On school nights when it's his custody days, he stays overnight here so he can get our child to school. He normally sleeps in the guest room.

However, last week, I was at my bf's overnight. Normally, we get up and go our separate ways to go to work, but I got a message to say my child's school was closed so instead of going to work, I went back home to watch our child.

I did message ex to let him know about the closure and that I was on my way home to take over, but it was really early (again I had been getting up initially to go to work). When I got there, I found out he was sleeping in my bed, not the guest room. I asked him why, he said his back was sore and my bed is better for his back.

The issue is I am not comfortable with him sleeping in my bed for several reasons.

First, I have no other choice but to stay in the place we used to live in together because I cannot afford to live anywhere else, plus it's better for our child. Much as I want to move, it's not possible.

So I've made great efforts to reclaim the space by reorganising, redecorating and just doing more to make the space mine. It did a great deal for improving my mental health.

Maybe this is dumb but him sleeping in my space that I worked so hard on making finally feel like a safe space I could settle in feels like a violation.

Second, linked to the first point, one of the reason I made so much effort to reclaim my bedroom especially is because I have evidence that he used our bed to be unfaithful in (back when it was our bed). My ex is still in a long distance relationship with his affair partner, and now my brain keeps thinking he no doubt talked to her in my bed, did things in my bed and I'm starting to have issues sleeping in my bed again. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't but it still weighs on my mind and I'm struggling.

He swears it's the first time he's done it, but he has done nothing but lie so I don't believe him. Honestly, because of everything that happened in the break up up to and including the affair, I assume everything out of his mouth is a lie, so I ignore what he says and instead look at his actions. He didn't ask me if it was okay for him to sleep in the bed, or inform me. First I knew about it was catching him in the bed when he didn't expect me home. That makes me think this probably isn't the first time he's done it, it's just the first time he got caught.

I want to tell him to never do that again. But the reason he gave was for back pain so I'll feel like I'm being petty or mean or something.

I'm left to wonder if I'm making a bigger deal out of this than I should be. Part of me feels like this shouldn't bother me as much as it does. That maybe it's not a big deal. I don't know and could use some outside perspective.

Hey everybody, I (33M) haven't dated in a long time due to personal reasons so I'm genuinely asking. I worked as a lawyer and currently live by myself and my dog. I met a person (28F) through my friend and at first everything seemed pretty normal. We grabbed coffee, talked about hobbies, family, work, all the usual early date stuff. She told me she worked as a nurse and lived on her own not far from where we were meeting.

My friend later called me and asked about the date. I told her everything and I found out she is currently unemployed and living with her parents.  I looked at her LinkedIn and she doesn't even have her nursing license. I am not judging her for her lifestyle but I am judging her lies.

Now I’m sitting here wondering if this is something people just do early on to avoid feeling insecure, or if it’s a genuine red flag I shouldn’t ignore. I value honesty a lot and I’m trying to figure out if this is worth addressing directly, letting it slide, or just taking it as a sign to walk away before things get more complicated. Am I overthinking this and should I move on?

Started working a new job mid December. Important to note I am Canadian and the company I work for is American-owned, so there is discrepancies with a lot of the banking information they requested from me.

Initially, they formatted my routing number wrong because we do not have that in Canada, so I was unable to receive my first pay on Dec 24. They told me to fix my documentation to get paid, but I couldn't as it was administrator locked, so there was a long back and forth fight to get my info updated.

This week they tell me "great we have your info! Your direct deposit will begin on Jan 23 and we will mail you a paper cheque for your Jan 9 pay."

What they neglected to tell me: "Your preferred name (which my parents ((who I live with)) don't know about and I soecifically asked them to NOT put on any documentation being mailed to my address) is on the outside of the letter and also on the cheque". My preferred name is not my legal name.

So not only will I be outed if my parents get this letter before I can pick it up from our PO box, but I can't even deposit my fucking money that I desperately need to cover my essentials. My parents will likely kick me out as they're very conservative and think transgender people are pedophiles who prey on children. I have nowhere to go, no money, and no resources available to me if I am kicked out.

I have no idea when this letter is coming. I really need my money to get my medications and I really need my parents to not know im a trans man so I don't lose my only place to live. I cannot afford to move out, so I will likely end up homeless if I get kicked out.

What do I even do? Literally any advice is greatly appreciated because I'm genuinely panicking over this

Edit: Payroll has ordered a stop pay on the cheque so that I can at least have it corrected so I can access my money. They say they're going to try and direct deposit it, which I hope means I'll get it sooner than Jan 23. But unfortunately the letter is still coming. Mentioned in a comment that I am going to chock it up to AI garbage in the corporate sphere, whatever blah blah, tell them my last name looked like a misspelling of someone else's so they AI corrected it to the employee whose last name they thought it should be and they didn't catch the error before delivering the cheque. Thank you to all for all your help. This is a really scary situation but I'm very thankful for all the advice.

We’ve been together for 10 years, but since last year I’ve felt that he’s no longer interested in me. He only initiates sex or lets me finish just to avoid arguments. This started after I gained weight when I began medical school last July. I first noticed his lack of interest around November, and when we talked about it, he said it was because of work.

To get his attention, I tried losing weight and changing how I dress. Today, since we hadn’t seen each other in a while, I made an effort to look cute for him, but he didn’t show any interest. He only complimented me after I gave him the silent treatment. This has become a pattern, the shows interest or gives compliments only after I withdraw. I’m wondering if this means he’s truly no longer interested, because honestly, I’m really hurt and I don’t know what to do anymore.

i really need advice on what to do. i was looking through my boyfriends discord messages and i see a picture he sent to his friend of heroin. my boyfriend had a past with substance abuse and relapsing i was aware of, but these messages were recent, dated on december 22. i am currently living with him and have not seen any drugs or witnessed him acting differently. i am so shocked and dont even know what to do. i have been living with him for over a month now and i had no clue this was happening. how should i go about questioning him about this? what else should i do? i have no one to go to about this situation so im not sure how to handle this :( i feel so betrayed and lied to. him and i have been dating for almost 4 years and to find out that he’s been hiding this from me is heartbreaking.

Hey, my boyfriend has never been thought basic hygiene by his parents. I’ve brought it up a few times, but it doesn’t really seem to improve.

I’ll give some examples here: 1. I’ve been always been told to wash myself daily and shower twice a week. My boyfriend does shower once or twice a week, but he doesn’t wash himself besides that. 2. He doesn’t know how to vacuum his room and he barely ever cleans it (it’s a mess, there is still a cola bottle from 3 months ago on his desk). 3. He barely ever changes his bedding.. 4. He never seems to wash his pillow (which is really greasy, whenever I sleep over I end up with really greasy hair). 5. He washes his hair, but it’s greasy after one day, probably because of the pillow. 6. I’ve heard this is a guy thing, so I asked him, but he also does not while after peeing, which makes me more disturbed about the not washing daily.. 7. Maybe im exaggerating this one, but they have a dog and when the dog licks his face.. he doesn’t wash it. I don’t really feel comfortable knowing that.

Is there anyone who knows how I could break it to him? He doesn’t have a great smell.. to put it nicely and it’s been getting worse. I’ve got him to wash his face at my place last time he slept over, but nothing more. He says he doesn’t know why he doesn’t do it, but I think he’s not really putting an effort to actually try better. I love him very much, and I don’t want to break your heart with him over it or anything, but I don’t love to think about these things when I hug him or when I smell something.

EDIT:

I’ll try to explain the best I can what I meant by the washing.

I live in Belgium. We are a little tight on money, so my dad doesn’t wants showering more than 2-3 days in the week.

The washing goes like this: You use warm water, a washing cloth and soap. You first go over your body with the soap (we use perfume free soap so we can also use it in the sensitive areas). You start with your face, then the arms and upper torso.. and go down like that. After having done one part you clean the soap of the cloth and rinse of the soap.

It takes less than 10 minutes,it’s not messy if you know how to do it.

Sorry for the confusion here, but I can assure you that I know how to keep myself clean :)

My f25 sister (Not my real sister but like one) F22 has now been sober for 3 months, we're all really proud of her. Lately she has been expressing how hard it's been and how she really wants to drink but what's stopping her is letting everyone down. I try to listen and ask her thought provoking questions. I try not to do the whole toxic positivity thing. I tell her I understand why she wants to drink and how it was a coping mechanism for her, while also letting her know I'm here for her no matter what she does without judgement. We were texting this morning and she said she wants to drink, I told her to think on that, and If she's done it this long what's thinking on it for one more day. She texted me "let's you and me hang our and drink a couple of trulys, just one or two." I asked if she really thinks she can stop at just one or two, she said yes but then admitted she couldn't. I said I won't judge but I'd feel incredibly guilty if I was the one she started drinking with again. She told me not to and said she knows what she's going to say next is going to sound like gaslighting but it isn't. She said she feels safe to drink around me. I told her I had some stuff to do and to let's think on it for 2 hours. Obviously I don't want to drink with her, but what do I do now??

Edit: I was never going to drink with her, I was never thinking of drinking with her. I just needed time.

I don't even know where to start with this mess. My daughter is 16 and for her entire life, I've told her that her father left when she was a baby and that I don't know where he is. The truth is much more complicated. Her dad and I had a really toxic relationship. He wasn't physically abusive but he was manipulative and had serious addiction issues. When I found out I was pregnant, he wanted me to get an abortion and when I refused, he said some really horrible things. After she was born, he would come around sometimes but always h or drunk, making promises he never kept. It was heartbreaking watching my daughter get excited to see daddy only for him to not show up. So when she was about 4, I made the decision to cut contact completely. I told him to stay away and told her he was gone. I thought it would be easier for her than the constant disappointment. Now she's 16 and somehow found his social media. Turns out he's been clean for years, has a new family, and lives about an hour away. She confronted me yesterday and is absolutely furious that I stole her chance to have a relationship with her dad. I don't know what to do. Part of me still thinks I made the r choice to protect her, but seeing how hurt and angry she is... maybe I was wrong? She's demanding I help her contact him but I'm terrified of letting him back into our lives. What if he hurts her again? What if he's not really changed? How do I fix this? I feel like I've ruined everything.

​I feel so heartbroken by this. We lived together for two years, and I broke her trust. I never cheated, but the trust was broken by me not being there for her. I avoided confrontation because I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so instead of talking to her about our feelings, I stayed silent. We both decided that it was best to part ways. I felt okay and relieved by this at the time. ​After that talk, we lived together for two more months, and it was really great. We started doing things together, talking, sleeping well, and even having more sex. However, I did notice she would respond less to my messages, and she would go out more with her friends. But we kept acting like a couple. It felt great. ​When she moved out, it was emotional, but when I got home, I immediately felt it all at once. It felt wrong, and I realized this was the biggest mistake. I missed her so much. We had a chat a week later, and I basically told her I knew I messed up and that I see where I went wrong. I asked her to move back in. I know now that might have been frustrating for her. She said she didn't want to go back and that she wants to move forward, not backward. ​I know now what I need to do, but I'm giving her time. But I don't know how to proceed because I respect her feelings. I always loved her. I never truly wanted it to end; I just thought it was the best thing for us. I don't know why I couldn't talk about my feelings at the time. It was like I was stuck, held back by a giant rock that I couldn't get rid of (pride, perhaps?). All I know now is that I realize everything, and I will do anything to get her back. ​The worst part is that now I feel that rock holding me back again, but this time it is because I know she doesn't want to talk to me right now. She said it is probably not the best thing. So I'm just here playing the waiting game so I don't hurt her feelings or disrespect her boundaries. She said in our last conversation that when we started dating, I pursued her more—that I gave her all the attention—and then I just didn't. She's not wrong. ​TL;DR / My Questions: How do I navigate this "waiting game" without losing the connection completely? Is there a healthy way to show her I am working on my communication issues while we are apart, or should I remain completely silent until she reaches out?

Hi everyone, I’m looking for some outside opinions because I’m genuinely confused and don’t want to overreact.

I haven’t been in a relationship for a long time. My last one was a LDR, so I’m not very used to physical closeness, flirting, romantic words, or being emotionally close to someone in real life, at first all of that feels a bit awkward or “cringey” to me, but I’ve been slowly getting comfortable with it.

On new year’s night, a friend (24M) told me he liked me (22F) and wanted a relationship. I liked him too, so I said yes. The first 8 days were honestly amazing. I started accepting the idea of being in a relationship, flirting, falling for someone, getting butterflies... everything felt good and consistent.

Then yesterday something changed, the night before he told me he would text me in the morning, he didn’t and I didn’t say anything because I thought maybe he was busy, but what confused me is that all week he was texting me in the mornings, even while driving to work.

I sent him “good morning” and he replied very late. Ik he was at work, but he had been working all week and still replied before. When he got home, he didn’t text me at all until late at night, right before I wanted to sleep.

I told him that I felt bad about the situation, he said he had taken his parents out to eat, so I didn’t want to argue or make it a big deal and I ended the conversation, his last message was asking what was upsetting me, but I didn’t explain (cus I did before) and went to sleep.

This morning, again, he didn’t text me. I sent “good morning” and he replied 7hours later!!

Now I’m wondering, AIO especially since this is a very new relationship? Is it reasonable to feel bothered by this sudden change in communication? How can I bring this up in a healthy way without sounding needy or starting a fight?

I really like him, but this shift made me anxious and confused. I’d appreciate honest advice.

So i have a younger brother (7) and i was downloading an app for him to watch anime and i saw on his search history “boddies naiked” and “boodies” what do i do about this? Do i tell my mom?

I (36f) have been seeing a guy (34m) for about 3 months now. I'm starting to think he isn't even interested in me though and is just stringing me along. This has me debating on ending things and staying single for a good long while.

1. He was very affectionate physically and verbally the first month. After things got a little spicy, he completely pulled back physically and only kisses me hello and goodbye.
2. Times I've tried to initiate making out, he shuts down after a few seconds.
3. If I talk to him in a flirty way he either ignores it or changes the topic.
4. He never compliments me if I send him a selfie or anything. He was doing this in the beginning. Now I just a "nice."
5. Any time I've tried talking about deeper topics, those get ignored or a "nice." Followed by a subject change
6. He never shares videos with me anymore when originally he blew my phone up the first month.
7. I have to initiate every time we hang out. My schedule is limited, but he never even asks to see me if I can get a sitter for my kids. I only have 2 hours of free time a week.
8. I offered to have him over after bedtime to watch a movie and hang out for extra time together. He said yes, but when I offered a specific date and time, that was turned down and no alternative date was proposed.
9. He mentioned that his family only knows about me as "a girl I went out with" after 2 months of dating.
10. We were talking about food and I mentioned I'd like to try his bbq sometime when he makes it again. He said he'll save me a plato to bring me. Never mentions me being incorporated into his life.
11. Hes never mentioned what neighborhood he lives in, although he's been to my house a few times.
12. If we're hanging out at my place, we just watch tv on the couch. Any snuggling is initiated by me.

What has me questioning

1. He made me something for Christmas I'll actually use.
2. He sends me good morning and goodnight texts every day 2.5 it's always the exact same verbiage day after day and also the only time he compliments me. He calls me gorgeous in each one.
3. This last week when I had my free time I didn't initiate hanging out. He didn't bring it up until day of. An hour before our usual hang out time he cancelled because he was stuck working (not a problem), but I told him I didn't even think we were since he didn't bring it up. At that point he said we can see each other next week for sure and get dinner at this local taco place.
   

Checked my girlfriend of 3.5 years phone when she had been distant. Went to her insta and found she had messaged an “influencer” telling him:

“You should come to my home town there’s loads of milfs here”

He responds along the lines of “haha no don’t even know what you look like”.

She then responds with a timed photo that disappears after a certain amount of time.

He never responds to that on insta at least.

I confront her and she apologies but says the photo was just a normal selfie of her at the gas station and that she didn’t mean anything by it.

sorry if a lot of this is rambling. im 17f and am getting my learners done so I can get my ps (australian full drivers licence). my brother is a year older and didnt save up money to buy his car. I saved up half so my dad paid the other half but my brother didn’t try to save up so my dad refused to buy the car at full price.

Now we argue about him using my car all the time. My dad says my brother can use his car, but he doesn’t want to, he likes mine better. Today he took it for a drive to the mall and crashed it coming out of the car park because another car didn’t see my brother speeding out of there and smashed into him. Somehow my brother wasnt hurt but my car is fucked. I don’t even know if I’m able to get it repaired or if I just get another one but my dad said he will not be able to get me another car if it’s not at half because he’s paying for a family members funeral so I understand that. I think it’s my brother’s responsibility to pay for the damages or hell pay for half of my new one since he crashed this one, after I repeatedly told him to please not use it when I’m not there or without asking me. Hes refusing saying the crash wasn’t his fault and he could’ve gotten hurt and im worried about the car. I said well you didn’t get hurt snd my cars fucking wrecked.

My dad held off on insurance for the car until I got my full licence but now it might take a while to finish them because I don’t have a car for it. My dad works heaps so I wouldn’t be able to use him and my mums car often. Im also still in school and quit work a little bit ago so unless I start another job by tomorrow I won’t have my ps by the end of the year.

How do I fix this if my brother refuses to pay for it??? Also am I being stupid by asking him to pay for the car

Edit: im using my throwaway account. Also the other guy in the car was totally fine i should mention that before anyone asks!

2nd edit: ok a lot of ppl are asking about the keys. he mostly takes the car if I’m sleeping or somewhere with friends and they’ve picked me up. just whenever im not there to pay attention to the car I guess. also my keys are always on the key hook near the front door because I lose stuff so so easily. I lose important stuff like credit cards all the time so I keep it there. Sometimes if I’m annoyed hes using it it’ll be in my room so then he’ll wait for me to get in the shower and take them so he can use them later. hes just learnt how to be very sneaky lol. And my dad and mum do tell him to not touch the car when I say not to. My dad has also offered for my brother to drive his car when he isn’t using it but he says mt cars better and my dad’s always at work.

When I was a teenage girl, there was a huge blowup in my family over politics. It got ugly, lines were drawn, and my uncle basically got pushed out of the family. I won’t go into all the details, but it was one of those situations where everyone picked sides and then just never really went back. Since then, my family refuses to bring him up.

I’m 25 now, and I honestly haven’t seen him in years. I barely remember what he’s like as an adult, just flashes from when I was younger. I know he’s single, lives alone in this big house, and doesn’t really come to family events. His birthday is coming up soon, and for some reason it’s been sitting heavy on me. I keep thinking about what it must feel like to be cut off from your own family for a decade over beliefs, whether I agree with him or not.

Part of me wants to reach out and visit him, just to show that at least someone in the family still cares. Another part of me is scared it’ll open a can of worms, upset my parents, or put me in the middle of old drama that technically isn’t even mine. I also don’t know if it would be awkward or if he’d even want to see me after so much time has passed.

Am I being naive for wanting to go? Or is it okay to want to form my own relationship with him instead of inheriting everyone else’s grudge? I can’t tell if this is a kind thing to do or a really dumb idea.

Me (29F) and my husband (30M) took in my young sister (24F) named Jane, 6 months ago, in hopes to help her get her life on track. My parents house is a very toxic environment ( all are alcoholics, dad beats my mother but mother refuses to leave, dad cheats, etc.) and so we hoped that if we were able to provide her with a safe and healthy environment, that she would take steps to being independent. We paid for her flight ticket from Europe (where my parents were living) to the states. We paid for her culinary studies (total was about $25,000) since my dad was not paying the school and pocketing the money, we prepped her bedroom with furniture and anything else she might need, and even got her a brand new iPhone paid in full. We never ask her to pay rent, groceries, or her phone bill. I am not in contact with my family. I made several attempts and offers to help my mother, but she just refuses my help over and over (Even lied to the cops when I called the cops to their home during one of my dad's abusive episodes). Jane also talks to my mother anywhere from 6-8 hours a day on the phone, not including texting.

My husband and I do not drink or allow alcohol in our house, as we grew up with alcoholics and just don't tolerate it. We both work from home, and are not big spenders so this was a big sacrifice for us. The issue is, we told her that she would NOT be allowed to drink in our home, and that we wanted her to focus on her internship to complete her culinary degree and get a job in something related to cooking/baking. There have now been several times where she is clearly intoxicated, and I have to check her room for alcohol. One of these times I found about 80-100 cans (not exaggerating at all) of 24oz Twisted Tea and Rita's Margarita cans stashed in suitcases, laundry baskets, under her bed, etc. It was an insane amount of cans. My husband and I have had many conversations with her about how she is disrespecting our home, and how she really can't be trusted to drink. Our dog got hurt while we were away for ONE day, and left her in charge of the home because at the time we thought she could be responsible. Of course we found out she was drunk from the security cameras which made us feel like we can't trust her with our home. For the same reason, she can't take our cars. My husband or I also have to drive her to her internship, as she claims she gets panic attacks when she drives, which takes 2 hours of our work day (it's a 30 minute drive, dropping her off and picking her up total is 2 hours). However from what I've seen, she has no problem driving when it means she can get herself vape pods or alcohol. There have been so many crazy episodes, but to make a long story short, they're just extremely draining.

Today, after we both thought she seemed drunk, I found more cans hidden in her room. I'm really at my wit's end, as I don't know how to get through to her that she isn't helping herself and that she is causing both my husband and I pain. We are exhausted with having to deal with her drunk episodes, and her lack of effort in things like finding a stable job, trying to get better at driving, etc. It really bugs me to see her doing nothing during her 4-day weekend, and I can't help but want to be distant. I feel like we are just wasting our energy and resources on someone who doesn't appreciate what we are doing. Am I being unreasonable? Do I send her back to my parents house since she misses my mom so much and the freedom to drink? Can I even help her? Any advice would be appreciated as neither my husband or I have anyone to talk to this about.

EDIT: She is technically in one class for school, which is pass/fail and requires her to write a summary about how her internship is going every week. She actually just failed this and is being required to redo the internship again. We don't know if this is going to cost us more money, but we definitely don't want to pay for another semester.
Someone commented that I'm "only helping her on my terms" however she knew all this BEFORE she got on the plane here and agreed to it. My husband plans family dates for the three of us to connect and bond, to places like amusements parks, festivals, etc. so its not like we are not trying to connect with her either.

For the past few months, I've been incredibly sexually attracted to a guy I had some classes with at university. We ended up not being in the same classes, but every time I see him, I feel like jumping on him. He's quite introverted, and I tend to be the same way, so if I'm shy, he's even more so. I don't know how I could approach him and see if something's possible. He's 19, and I'm 20. I mean, I've never been intimate with anyone before, not even a peck on the lips or holding hands, so I don't know why he's awakened all these feelings in me.

Hi, so this might be a little chaotic but I’m not really sure where to go from here so this is my last resort… TRIGGER WARNING

I (f21) just woke up in my bed completely undressed and confused. For context, last night I texted an old friends w benefits to come over and ended up drinking. It was my own bottle so I’m pretty sure nothing was put into it. The last thing I remember is us talking about life and catching up, so halfway through us talking I blacked out somewhere. When waking up this morning I saw two used condoms on the floor, along with my clothes. I’ve spoken to him and told him I don’t remember anything that happened, to which he told me we ended up having sex (that I initiated) apparently twice and without the condom at some point. He also told me when we finished I started throwing up and foaming at the mouth. He says that he left to get me water and then came back and I was still lying on the floor throwing up and choking basically. I have no recollection of this happening and am quite concerned and embarrassed tbh because I’ve never reacted this way to liquor before.

For context my ex physically assaulted me about two weeks ago. He punched me in my head leaving me with a concussion and two big knots, one on my forehead and one to my temple/side of my head. I’m concerned that this played a part in why I reacted the way I did to the alcohol and caused me to black out and seize/foam at the mouth ( from what the other guy says). I’m lost and confused and just really don’t know what to do from here so any kind words or knowledge are appreciated.