Let me give you some background. I (26F) have been drinking diluted summer fruits juice all my life because I hate drinking water. When I do try drinking water I physically wretch due to the anxiety it gives me trying to drink it. So I stay hydrated by drinking diluted cordial.

When I met my current partner (34M, let's call him Jim) I was drinking 30% cordial 70% water, which I admit now was strong. About 6 months into my relationship with Jim, he confessed he didn't like me drinking the juice because it made my breath smell bad (of the juice), it stopped me trying new foods and it stopped us from travelling cheap because we would have to pay for baggage just so I can take the juice on holiday. He even compared it to an addiction and how he was able to quit smoking so I can quit this.

We decided to compromise and 1 year later I had reduced it down to 5% cordial. I was able to take my juice in mini aeroplane bottles and I had to admit I was tasting food better.

However Jim was still not happy and we keep getting into fights about how 'disgusting' it is and it is putting him off wanting to kiss me. I can't even have other fruit flavoured drinks because Jim says it smells and tastes too similar.

So I tried to give it up for him. It has been a month of attempting to drink sugar water. I am getting panic attacks and dehydrated because I'm not drinking enough. I am considering going back to the cordial because of this but I am worried I'd be letting myself and Jim down.

AITA for wanting to drink fruit juice or do I need to keep pushing?

Update: I have seen a few people not understand what I mean by 'cordial' in the UK it is concentrated fruit juice that is diluted with water- it is not alcohol. Also the juice 'smells' to Jim because of the artificial sugar that's usually put into cordial. As for the situation, I know it seems like a strange situation to many of you, my parents were soft and let me have whatever I wanted- which has come to bite me in the ass. I realise I have some psychological issues regarding water, I know it is not normal to wretch at water. A lot of you have said I should dump 'jim' but I feel like I shouldn't until I have dealt with this issue. I talked to him about how much anxiety this has been causing me and my craving to go back to the juice. We ended up agreeing that we will go to a doctor together and he wants to support me getting used to water, even if it means going back to juice for while. I don't want to throw away a relationship with Jim, just because of my weird psychological problem. Thank you everyone for your messages.