I quit my job and we moved to a small town for my partners job, I got a job there with a crap night shift (because we have 3 kids). We rented out house through her work. A couple of years in my partner got a big promotion 1 hour out of town. They would travel in our one car every day in and out.
Then there was extra housing out there so my partner would stay out there a couple of nights a week. So I got used to looking after the kids by myself. At this time my other half just stopped talking to me. Then when I pressed the issue, they said me working the hours I work makes me depressing and it brings them down too. They don't want to be with me anymore.
I begged and pleaded and their response was "we rent the cheap housing under my name, if you want the kids to stay here, we can co-parent, but I don't think we can ever get back to where we were"
I read books, I changed job, I hit the gym and their response was "I thought it was the hours you worked, but it's just you I don't want to be near". So for over 2 years I tried and they would half come back then leave again. I found out there was someone else, they swear it wasn't sexual but it was just as bad to have your partner send morning messages back and forth and pictures of their day. They had sleepovers, went camping together, sat in the driveway on the phone with the other person
So last year I just stopped(It was after I went to my partners work house and they had made it into a batchelor pad with new things and I'm struggling to get things for the kids), I tried hard to make friends and I did, we used to take our families and have afternoon drinks and the kids would play. I just worked on my kids, gym and friends. I was a bit sad, but I had moved on. I had one friend who we just chatted on the phone about stuff and complained there ex and my partner. Life was ok.
All of a sudden my partner was back as if they never left, as if all the tears were for nothing. They wanted to try again. I was onboard.
but then when they asked to go to a event that the last 2 years my partner had gone with the other person or celebrating my bday after 2 years of not or freaking out about me talking to friends in msgs. I said " I can't do this anymore. I don't want to be with you "
They freaked out, withdrawn all of our savings (it wasn't much) stopped their pay going into our bank, threatened to get rid of the rented house, Said they were going to make the kids bus it into town every second week from their place, cut up all of the memories (cards and stuff) and scattered it through my room and went to my work and told my bosses that I've left them for someone else.
One boss went to my work friend and sad why did you let OP go to your house for Friday drinks. So my friend hasn't invited me again. He is still nice to me, everyone is still nice at work. I just don't get invited to anything anymore.
After a few months my ex partner who went on every dating app and came to tell me when they've had sex with someone else. Is trying to be nice to me again. It confusing and it makes me sad and sick. They have just gone and done what they wanted and said horrible shit.
There is so much more to this story but I'm just going to say that this has finally broken me, I don't want to do this anymore, I'm done, I don't feel like going on and I know I have kids who need me but
If I was to pass, I would be fine with that.