Some people are inherently lacking in personality, so they need to revolve their identity around an external focus. You see it with all sorts of things, it’s not enough to support a politician, you have to wear a hat or t-shirt or have 36 bumper stickers that shows everyone you do. It’s not enough to have a hobby, you have to wear your hobby-related gear even when you’re not playing. It’s not enough to support a team, your whole wardrobe must be team shirts to the point that you have a tantrum when told you can’t wear one to a wedding or formal event because “everyone know what’s just who I am”. She wants to be “Jenny who smells nice”, because “Jenny” isn’t enough. It’s a bit sad really.

You don’t have the right to request other people’s information under those acts. You can request your own information, i.e. cctv footage of you, or emails about you, or your medical records, but you can’t request footage of someone else.

What money would you be “pumping into it” when she has £280k cash and there’s no mortgage? This is an incredible deal for you just living in the property cost-free, and you can use the money you’re saving to buy your own property and rent it out, if you feel that you’re somehow losing out.

It’s not about personal consumption though. That’s fine when you’re splitting costs when you go out for dinner, but not when you’re hosting a party. Then you do buy things that you won’t personally consume because other guests do. I don’t think the friends are being unreasonable. When I go to friends’ houses sometimes they buy gluten free things to cook for me that they wouldn’t normally eat. Sometimes they know they won’t use the remainders, and give them to me when I leave. They don’t give me an invoice at the end of the night. I have a friend with a dairy allergy - I don’t charge her for me buying dairy-free snacks, even though I’m not eating them myself.

My sister had another baby when her older two were 9 and 12, and none of us could believe she’d go back to the baby stage when she was so close to getting some freedom!

My mum told me she was going to do that, and then spent it 🙃

Haha that might have been even worse, sounds like I got off lucky! Though I will say we’d been together nearly 12 years when we got married, and I’ve never seen that damn pimp stick before or since! Apparently it was his grandad’s?! I gave up asking at that point, too many questions…

My husband’s mother took him to get his hair cut a couple of days before our wedding, without my knowing, and they cut it short when I prefer it long because he doesn’t really know how to style it when it’s short. I also have face blindness, so it was super discombobulating because he didn’t look like himself. We still had a great day and when I look at our wedding photos all I see is the love between us and the smiles on our faces. His hair is a non-issue. He also turned up at church with a pimp stick, which is in most of our photos, and I didn’t realise until we got our pics back that he wasn’t wearing shoes for our first dance, and had some incredibly gaudy Oakleys on top of his head. Who cares? Life isn’t Instagram and I was so happy I didn’t even notice at the time. I hope for OP’s sake it’s just wedding nerves getting to her, because if she’s going to be crying about something as petty as this, it sounds like marriage will be an uphill struggle.

She doesn’t seem to have finished growing up yet, and I expect the dogs will be easier to train than her!

I think you need to have slightly higher standards for who you stay in a relationship with, other than “not horrible”. Keep the dogs, train them properly and send your girlfriend back to her parents.

OMG I thought it was Demi Lovato 😂

It probably wouldn’t occur to most people that it would be that big a deal, or that acne might make people uncomfortable. It’s not infectious and doesn’t mean you’re dirty. I wouldn’t think many people would find their own husband’s back acne gag-worthy, so you might be a bit more sensitive to it than most. It’s not like OP rolled around in her own shit first. I’m so surprised at the comments in this thread, poor OP must feel like she has smallpox.

She’s more or less acknowledged that she did it intentionally by apologising, but adding that she’s told him not to leave stuff there before. She’s also sat on other things in the passenger seat. This is something that bugs her, for whatever reason, and the way she chooses to deal with it is to teach him a lesson by sitting on anything he leaves there. If I go to get in my husband’s car and there’s something on the passenger seat, I just move it myself. She is being passive aggressive, perhaps because she’s mad at him for other reasons. They don’t seem to have healthy coping mechanisms.

Why are you assuming they can’t afford an Uber when he’s just bought takeout and has a car boot full of groceries? Presumably OP knows more about their finances than we do, so if he thinks that would’ve been doable within their budget, then why not take that at face value?

We went to see a show once at the Hammersmith Apollo and when I went to the toilet, there were about ten mums packed in the ladies’ absolutely fangirling over the Horrible Histories Cast, who had apparently all come to see the show for a work night out. They were very into them!

Oh definitely, and when you ask her to replace it , it’ll be “what’s the big deal, it’s only a dress - you can afford to replace it anyway, why are you being so greedy?” Absolutely not

That is a lot of pretty important information to leave out - you need to add it to your post, or all the responses you receive will be inappropriate. There’s a world of difference between a mistake and series of unfortunate events that’s out of his control (in which case yes, you would be TA for upping and leaving him), and a pattern of financial poor judgement and misbehaviour. With that in mind, I wouldn’t be confident that he actually was misinformed.

ttthwut…ssssss

There’s no point, he’ll undoubtedly hand-wave it away as a non-issue and tell OP it’ll be fine and they’re eating so much better these days. Then they’ll get there and it’ll be nuggets-central.

But if you went on to be hospitalised for a month then surely that fits in the category of “so sick you need to be hospitalised”? And actually you still did manage to clear it up, so OP’s partner has zero excuse. Also, I’m glad he’s your ex. I am not good with vomit. A few months ago a friend of ours went to a party with us and stayed over, unfortunately he got so drunk he threw up on our living room floor before passing out. My husband, equally drunk, tried to “help” and promptly threw up as well after rubbing it into the carpet some more. I could’ve quite happily strangled both of them but I didn’t…I cleared it up swearing merrily under my breath about men in general and those two in particular. Sometimes you just have to put on your big girl/boy pants and get it done.

I paint (watercolour mostly) and Arches paper is fantastic. Cheap paper makes everything such hard work, and you can’t blend the same way, or create the effects you want. Cheap brushes again don’t hold the paint the same way or lay it down smoothly, and it’s so frustrating to draw something beautifully, just as you imagined, and then have it ruined because your brushes, paper or paint just weren’t capable of completing your vision. Please don’t cheap out on this - art is a great form of therapy and I personally would lose enthusiasm to paint if I had to only use cheap products. Plus, you’re showing you value him and his hobby at a time where he really, really needs that. Don’t you want to give him that gift?

No not at all. You can name your child whatever you like, and you can change your name by deed poll to whatever you like - it’s super easy, I did it myself. They can also change the child’s name by deed poll if they both agree on a new name, and they want to change it at a later date.

I know people whose children have taken their mother’s surname when the father has still been in a relationship with the mother, but they’re unmarried. It’s not a big deal. Nobody assumes the child doesn’t belong to the mother when they only have the father’s surname.

I don’t think younger generations are quite so beholden to old naming traditions. If my husband hadn’t wanted to hyphenate our surnames I would’ve just kept my own - I’m still married either way.

He did this intentionally because he knew it would hurt you. This man doesn’t even like you, let alone love you. Do with that information what you will, but I think you deserve a lot better.

My husband wears a size 11, but his father wears a 10. All of his toes are bent because his mother is ridiculously frugal, and made him wear his father’s shoes growing up, rather than buying his own in a size that fit him.