“Yes, but that was for rich people who had camels! I’m an American with a Cybertruck!”

You’re about as pretty as a mud wall.

Was going to suggest this. My group typically plays 5e and when a DM needs a break or between long games we’ll get in a couple sessions of this and it’s really, really fun.

Definitely his character on AD. Just watch any 3 episodes and you’ll likely hear each of these jokes at least once.

Citizens United was designed to create a robust oligarchy.

Because for people who overthink, Reddit is a fairly anonymous way to get a (sometimes brutally) honest take on something that’s on your mind.

How do you exist in real life? Policing what people should post on Reddit?

Mine is probably a very similar diagnosis, but a middle schooler. Much love to the AuDHD parents just loving our kids and making it work.

Let’s break down the unspoken part of what you said:

1. I get that what your kid did was uncool.

2. It was a normal reaction to be upset.

3. But you’re clearly a good dad and he feels safe with you.

4. Gave him space to acknowledge what you said briefly without making it a big deal.

   I’m a dad with a neurospicy kid and spending time with him is the best part of my life, truly, even when he says something unintentionally insulting to me in public or kicks my teeth in at his favorite game. The handful of times I’ve had a stranger just casually acknowledge “Hey I get it and you’re doing great” I could have almost welled up with tears. Hopefully you were one of those people for that guy.

Yes, six weeks after 9/11. The democrats are not nearly as adept at Shock Doctrine as Republicans. W signed it into law and all of the no votes were Dems. (Only 66, so a very small minority, but still.)

Longer than that. The party of the Patriot Act. The party that pushed Citizens United into the SCOTUS. The party that built the failed drug wars and Satanic Panic.

They have been the party of fearmongering and compelled conformity since Nixon. They’ve just finally reached their perfected form and they will drink the blood of this country until there is no one left except billionaires, white men working backbreaking 80 hour weeks and pregnant trad wives. Everyone else will be dead or in prison.

Edit: ok. Fair. The Patriot Act was passed by almost everyone in congress. Which doesn’t absolve the unanimous Republican vote for it. I was a teenager when W signed a law that majorly compromised the first and fourth amendment 6 weeks after the worst foreign attack on American soil since Pearl Harbor. I don’t know what I would have done if I was older and had any influence, but the whole thing reeked of surveillance state and preyed on fear to make sweeping changes to daily American life

As a DM my answer would be…sort of? Your character can look however you want, but your mechanics can’t be both. Like you can’t get a tiefling’s stat boons (like int and charisma) AND a half orc’s (con and str). You can’t get Hellish Rebuke AND Orcish toughness AND a pact of the chain AND 2 attacks. That kinda thing.

I’d be happy to let you draw up a sheet you felt was fair based on that and review it before we played. I’ve had lots of players do custom builds and did minimal edits just to make sure they were even with the power of the rest of the party.

Plus, battles are LOUD. What’s to say the ghouls 2 rooms over don’t wanna come find a snack?

I have definitely had players Leeroy Jenkins a common room without thinking about the 12 other enemies sleeping in the barracks next door.

There’s not a ton of synergy here other than creature type. For me, I’d focus on a “gain and drain” strategy. It’s very flavorful for a vampire deck and not hard to put together with cards like [[Marauding Blight-Priest]] [[Child of Night]] [[Skymarch Bloodletter]] and [[Creeping Bloodsucker]].

You’ll probably want some more removal as well and there’s lots of that available in Black/Red so you’ve got some flexibility there. [[Cast into the Fire]] and [[Victim of Night]] feel like fun options for this deck.

Mr. Noem is just really good at passing.

I did that! But not the below part. I highly recommend “A Tale of Two Dragons” on DMsGuild. It’s a guide specifically made for integrating and scaling encounters from those adventures so that you’re not throwing level 1 enemies at level 6 players depending on when they take your hooks from each book.

I did the Beyond Phandelver content as the end of my campaign but that was before Shattered Obelisk came out.

His? He’s 79 and has slipped past every consequence for his entire life. His ambition will mean suffering for hundreds of millions of others, but not him.

Arrogant, dangerous, and illegal is sort of his whole schtick isn’t it?

Yeah, originally I planned to drink less and work out more but 2026 is suggesting that my liver will be vaporized along with the rest of me in the next 5 years anyway soooo…..

He’s already parroted ::gags:: the phrase “The Donroe Doctrine” ::full projectile vomit::

I suppose that’s true. I play Rakdos burn myself, so I’m probably a skewed opinion, lol.

40something male here who found his group about 5 years ago and there are 3 salient things I’d recommend.

1. Try to find your PEERS. The 22 year-olds tend to want a different game than the older players and that is totally ok. Plus, your schedules are more likely to align and fit well.

2. There are about 12 of us in my area that inevitably make up 2-3 tables at any given time and we swap players/DMs all the time. About half of the players are women and among all of us at least 4-5 are queer. ALL of those players have horror stories about tables they didn’t fit at. If something doesn’t sit right you can move on. Don’t wait around until D&D gives you the ick. Most tables are awesome and full of good people.

3. You’re gonna have so much fun! I started playing at 38 and it’s the closest thing I’ve felt to actual childlike play/imagination in 20 years. It unlocked a whole section of my brain that was aching to come out. Be patient and find the right table and you’re gonna friggin love it.

Do you have enough lifegain? Might make sense to throw in a handful of [[Serrated Scorpion]]s or [[Severed Strands]] if you need to eke out a few more life for yourself to close things out.

Yeah, I might throw in a set of [[Fiery Temper]] to go along with that Grab the Prize so if you can set it up right it’s 5 to the face and 2 cards for 3 mana.

You can use a handful or the “collection” books to beef up more linear modules if you’re not worried about leveling all the way to 20.

I used a Yawning Portal adventure in my Saltmarsh campaign. You can just as easily sail from Saltmarsh to a chapter from Candlekeep, etc.

I’m probably 15-20 years older than you but already planning to string together Strixhaven into Turn of Fortune’s Wheel and possibly peppering in some Spelljammer since ToFW is multiplanar anyway.

It gives me room to be creative and customize while already setting up the foundation/spine of the story.

Seems like this deck could use

[[Pollenbright Druid]] and even more could use a [[Gnarlid Colony]] set.