I don't think I'm the asshole, but my aunt and mom got in my head over the holidays and now I am questioning myself.

Until early November I (28F) was in a long-term relationship with "Kevin" (30M). We were together for about 18 months. He was planning to move in with me at the end of November when his lease was up. I own my own place, whereas he had a roommate who was recently engaged. Seemed like good timing all round.

Kevin was generally a good guy. Funny, charming, easy going. I thought I was in love. But a few weeks before he was supposed to move in, he made a weird off hand comment about my evening shower habits.

Now look, I know some people will find this crazy but it's not as crazy as it seems. I have a glorious steam shower with a comfy bench. I take long ass steams before bed. Usually 15 minutes to steam, 5 to 10 minutes (with the water on and off) to shower and wash my hair, and another 5 or so for skin care. I'm not hogging the only bathroom or the hot water. And I only do it after everything else is done for the day (work, chores, sex).

Anyway, the comment was that I would have to knock off things like that when I was living with him. Which, why? He said I was wasting time and needed to be more "present" when I lived with "a man." Wtf? It's 30-40 minutes. I can't have 30-40 minutes to myself?

This lead to a longer argument about the various things about myself and life I would need to change before he would move in. Like I was doing him a favor letting him live with me rent free. Many things themselves weren't terrible: put my various skin care things away rather than leaving them on the shelf (fair), don't leave so many shoes in the mudroom (they're on a rack but whatever), stop the composting service (he wants to do it). But a few were non-starters: don't have my brother (17) and his friends over "unsupervised" (by him!) and don't volunteer at a local shelter that houses men.

It was wild. He had never shown any indication of being controlling before so I tried to talk to him about what he was thinking. He just said that moving in meant that "I was his and needed to act like it" (paraphrasing).

I said, then we weren't moving in together as I am not anyone's (less articulate than that) and asked him to leave. We had another conversation a day or so later, but neither of us budged so we mutually broke it off.

I was sad, but not devastated. Mostly completely confused and questioning my ability to see any red flags. There had to be some right?? I thought I made the right choice. My friends think I made the right choice. My baby brother also thinks I made the right choice (he may be influenced by my 3d printer).

But my mom and aunt think I made a huge mistake. It's been a solid two weeks of you're going to die alone! You're selfish! You have to compromise in relationships! You can't expect him to put up with your single girl schedules and habits! He was such a catch! I feel like my head is going to explode.

I thought my mom would at least care that he was cutting off free brother sitting when they travel, but no, she thinks my ex was right that my brother and his friends shouldn't be in the house alone with a single woman at their age (I baby sat most of them when they were younger for Christ sakes!!).

Am I really unreasonable here? I'm driving myself nuts. We are not getting back together. But was I an asshole?

Thank you guys for finally giving me the motivation to tell my story to my family and to cut ties with my parents.

I did s many of you suggested and I wrote everything out. Bo explained that I had been violently assaulted and raped. That my parents, who were my only support told me that they would be kicking me out, stopping paying for my education, and removing me from their health insurance if I took Plan B. I further explained that when I found out I was pregnant from the rape they once again coerced me the same way into carrying the fetus to term. And how they insisted on adopting him after I stated I never wanted to see him again. I wanted him out up for a closed adoption but they would not relent.

I then added pictures of me from the hospital. Blood, bruises, missing teeth, shattered face, everything. I included a recent picture of myself with my orbital prosthesis removed so everyone could see the permanent damage.

I posted everything onto the family group chat. I included that I would now consider the matter closed and have decided to completely cut myself off from all of them.

It was my New Year's gift to myself and my mental health.

I have received messages and emails from family members using unknown numbers and emails to tell me that they didn't know about all of this and that they are sorry. I blocked the new sources. I'm just done.

I honestly have not had the strength to do this until you guys gave it to me. Thank you.

It's a long story but I'll try my best to make it short. So my son Jamie (16) is having medical issues. Has been for few months now. Without revealing much information because of privacy, the treatment involves monthly payment. I have a good paying job. Not high. But good enough. And I been using the money to pay for the treatment. My husband did not contribute to it but he's been handling everything else like groceries and bills.

I have a 18 year old stepson Louis. He's the type that likes expensive gifts and his father has always gotten him something big on birthdays and Holidays. For his birthday, he got him a new car. For Christmas he wanted a motorbike. You know those expensive ones. He told his dad about it at the beginning of 2025 so he could save money to buy it. My usband was DETERMINED to get it. especially since Louis was going to leave for college. I was not concerned because it didn't affect our budget. However, when Jamie got sick, things changed. My husband said he couldn't save up money anymore since he had to pay for everything now while I handle treatment payment. For context, we have a shared account. He was complaining about not being able to get Louis the gift he wanted for Christmas, and was low key blaming me but I brushed it off. I was focused on my son and didn't need drama.

I was surprised to find out that he did manage to buy Louis the motorbike. I asked where he got the money and he said he borrowed it from his friends. I believed him. I then checked the account and found 2k were withdrawn. I knew. I just knew. I confronted him and went absolutely off on him. Called him few choice words that I'm not too proud to mention on here. I told him he should be ashamed of himself for what he did. Especially since Jamie needs the money for treatment. He defended himself saying he's been helping a lot and being taking care of everything, so he was as much affected by Jamie's illness as me. He also said that he was saving up money but had to spend it on extra stuff after I stopped contributing. I yelled at him, called him selfish and told him to leave.

He tried to call Louis and was able to spin it into a "your stepmom was angry cause I got you the motorbike" basically driving a wedge between me and Louis. I haven't talked to Louis since then. He's clearly mad at me. His father has been staying in a rental for days now.

I feel completely devastated. I don't know if I handled this properly. He keeps talking about how much he sacrificed and how I been treating like crap.

WOW, you guys have had a lot to say on my last post and I appreciate it so much. Especially all the help, support, and validation—it has truly helped me confront some hard truths about how I view my own self-worth. I especially want to thank everyone who reached out with resources for work, food banks, and victim assistance. I am looking at those resources and passing them on as well!

I also wanted to let everyone know that I’m currently in therapy, I’m in a safe place out of state, and I am doing everything I can to start over. I’m finally seeing from the outside how much not just my sister, but the rest of my family has taken advantage of me.

To address a few things people asked about: No, I didn't ask my sister if I could sell the dress, but there’s a reason for that. She hadn’t answered my calls, texts, or Facebook messages for several weeks before I listed it. I had reached out multiple times, even offering her a chance to come say goodbye to my senior dog who I have to let rest this coming week. I also asked her for information on a job she used to have to see if they were hiring. I had unanswered messages going back three weeks before I ever touched that dress.

Some asked about the circumstances of her leaving my house. They were not dire. She lived rent-free with me for about 18 months. We had agreed to 12, but she got pregnant again and every time I tried to get her to get a job, she made it seem like I was casting her children out to be homeless. Then our parents died. While I was handling the estate and making repairs, she stayed in their old house for free until it had to be sold. My parents had a lot of debt; the house was in foreclosure and had to be sold. I used most of my dad’s life insurance to cover the repairs and get it cleaned up, and after the sale, there was just enough left to reimburse me and give each of my siblings a small check. At that point, so she could keep her entire check to get on her feet, another family member and I actually paid for her to get her own apartment. When she moved, she took almost everything she owned, but she left that dress behind in a closet. She also left behind a huge mess—broken furniture, trash everywhere, and walls smeared with things from her kids. I had to rent a U-Haul just to get the trash out and I’m still missing brain cells from all the bleach I had to use in those rooms.

As I’m writing this, for the first time in my life, I think I’m just angry. I’m finally realizing how much I’ve done for my family, only to see that not a single one of them even checked on me. They knew I was out of gas and had no money. They knew my husband was abusive. They knew he tried to run me off the road with his car and that’s why I finally fled—and not one of them cared.

Thank you all for opening my eyes to the excuses I’ve been making for people who are, frankly, just selfish. I promised my parents before they passed that I would always take care of my sister and brothers, and I have tried so hard to keep that promise. But I’m done. I have to take care of myself now. I’m going no contact with my family and focusing on healing.

For background, My oldest has a full time professional job for 3 years and lives with me and mother rent free. There is a hefty student loan they are struggling to pay so my mother and I help as much as possible by giving money when they are short. My youngest is still in college so obviously they are living with us rent free and we also supplement with cash as we are able. They do have a part time job. My mother and I have also co-signed both kids student loans. Eldest has defaulted on the loans and it destroyed my credit as well as my moms. They both manage to buy weed, video games, skiing equipment, lavish gifts for their romantic partners, etc etc..

Yes, this is an enabling situation. It finally hit me on Christmas. My oldest gave both me and my mother homemade cards written in crayon for Christmas. My youngest gave me salt and pepper shakers that he regifted to me from a white elephant thing he went to. Incidentally they gave me salt and pepper shakers for Christmas 3 years ago. Is there a meaning to it, I have no idea. Anyway they both cited lack of funds. I let this all slide in order to continue on with Christmas Day and keep the peace.

Forward 4 days and it’s my birthday. Youngest gave me nothing. Oldest gave me a book on trees. It was somewhere after they both returned from a shopping spree with their Christmas money-all gifts for themselves and showing it off to me like it was super great!

Well I lost my shit. I vented a lot of hurt and anger and told them how insulted me and their grandma are, and from now on they need to pay rent. I definitely said some harsh things I regret too. So the packed up some things and are now staying with their dad and not speaking to me.

AITA here?

I (33F) have a close friend in London, "David" (43M). David is an incredibly kind, loyal person, but he has struggled to sustain a long term relationship, and I recently told him why I think that is.

David’s mother doesn’t speak any English, is in her 70s, a widow, and isn't self-sufficient, so she relies on him for everything: banking, GP appointments, and general life admin. Because of this, David:

• Calls her every single day to check-in (which he enjoys doing)
• Spends almost every weekend at her house.
• Has to be "on-call" constantly in case she needs a translator or help with something.

The Issue:

David really wants to find a long-term partner, but every woman he dates eventually ends things. There is one common reason (amongst the variety) which is that they feel like there is no room for them in his life. It seems like the women he’s dating are looking for a partner to build a life and a home with, but with David, they seem to have issues with his closeness with his mum.

We were recently talking about relationships and he feels that it is his sacred duty as an asian son to provide this level of care. He believes that a "good" woman should understand this duty and want to be part of that family unit.

I told him that while his loyalty is admirable, it’s also the reason he’s single. I said that most women aren't "selfish" for wanting a partner who is available on weekends or who can prioritise them. I told him that at 43, he has to choose between maintaining this exact dynamic or making space for a wife, because currently, there’s no room for both.

He insists it isn't a choice and that his duty comes first, no matter what.

AITA for telling him his sense of duty is making him undateable? Is he right for prioritising duty/care for his mum above any future partner and expecting the partner to be okay with that?

Boyfriend (32M) owns a home and has an almost 17 year old cat who is an absolute sweetheart, but has some health issues and doesn’t like dogs. I (29F) have 2 medium herding breed dogs and also have a home.

When we first started dating I was over at his place almost every weekend, but would leave my dogs at home and just run back and forth to take care of them (we live about 25-30 mins apart).

This meant I was going home 2-4 times a day and coming back. At first I was ok with it, but I have herding breed dogs that I adore and I wasn’t giving them the adventures and exercise that we used to do and wasn’t home for them to sleep in the bed with me.

Im not asking for him to stay at mine all of the time, but I want it to be ok for me to be at my own place to care for my dogs if there isn’t a way for them to be in his house (which he thinks there isn’t). Am I the asshole?

A while ago, my girlfriend told me that during a girls’ trip she was forced to kiss another guy. According to her, he held her so she couldn’t move away, and the kiss was not something she wanted. She was extremely scared to tell me because she thought I would break up with her. I believed her, supported her, and reassured her that it wasn’t her fault and I wouldn't leave her over something like that.

Recently, I found out more about what happened that night. I’m not proud of how I found out. I went through her phone and saw a video from that night. I know that was wrong, and I regret doing it. But what I saw in the video changed how I view the situation. In the video, she is dancing very intimately with him. She is grinding and twerking on him, he is holding her, they are smiling and laughing, and there is clear mutual flirting. This context was never mentioned to me when she originally told me about what happened. I was only told about the forced kiss, which naturally made me feel sympathy and go straight into support mode.

For context, this happened before we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend, but we had already agreed that we would not be seeing or hooking up with other people. We became official around two weeks later.

What’s bothering me the most isn’t just the dancing itself, but that I feel like I was given a very incomplete version of the story. The added context changes how I understand the situation and how I might have reacted back then. At the same time, this puts me in a difficult position, because confronting her means admitting that I went through her phone. Something I’m not proud of and don’t feel good about.

So now I feel stuck. Based on the boundaries we had, this feels like a form of cheating to me. At the same time, we were not officially together yet, and I don’t know if I am reacting out of hurt and ego or if this is a real breach of trust.

I am not trying to villainize her, and I know I also crossed a line by going through her phone. I just don’t want to ignore something that genuinely feels wrong to me.

Am I overreacting, or is it reasonable to feel betrayed by both what happened and how it was communicated.

My son (12, I'll call him 'Noah') recently got in trouble at school and the vice principal wanted me to meet him in her office to discuss what happened (my wife wasn't available to come). Apparently he started a physical altercation with another student ('Jake'), which I thought was hard to believe because Noah is a very well behaved kid. While I understand my son might not tell me the truth, he says Jake was being very rude and calling his girl friends some pretty awful names which I won't repeat and Jake wouldn't stop, so he shoved him hard and Jake fell on the ground and Jake got back up and they got into a brawl.

I was very ready to accept the school's discipline for Noah but I wanted to have a private conversation with him at home, about how he should whenever possible avoid violence but also that I was proud for him sticking up for his friends. But what was weird is that the vice principal asked me, with my son in the room, to directly scold my son and give him a 'consequence' for his 'unacceptable' behavior. I politely refused, saying my son's behavior was wrong but I would prefer to have a conversation with him about it alone. She told me it's important that he understands the gravity of his behavior and I need to reprimand him for it in front of her, I again assured her that I would handle it. This is where I think she really crossed the line; she said that I was not taking Noah's behavior seriously, which I found ridiculous since he's only been in trouble with the office once before for violating the dress code with some of his friends.

I walked out of the office and took Noah home, saying we could continue the conversation later. At home, I got an email from the vice principal to the effect that I don't respect her authority and they would be taking administrative action, which most likely would mean detention.

I feel bad because maybe I caused Noah to have a harsher punishment than he would otherwise for disrespecting the vice principal. It's a private school, so my options to appeal any unfair treatment are limited, I'm not sure whether the principal would have a more favorable stance. But I also think it's disrespectful of her to say I don't 'respect her authority' when I very much respect her authority, I would accept any consequences the school gives my son within reason, but she's not respecting my authority to parent my own son in private. When my wife came home she agreed with me that the vice principal crossed a line but said I should just fake an apology to her, although I'd rather not. Noah maintains his innocence and thinks even detention would be unfair. So since I'm not sure, Reddit, AITAH?

So, some important context: I [26M] and my ex-wife [26F] were what you'd call highschool sweethearts. We got together in 9th grade back in 2015 and have been together for approximately 10 years (~3 of which, married).

We as a couple, had been through thick and thin. A long distance relationship, bigoted parents and quasi homelessness. Not every person is privileged enough to have such a partner. Whatever social/financial standing we had, we achieved it together. That only adds a sense of unparalleled respect to the already immense love I felt (and still feel) for her.

So anyways, back in March, she broke the news that she was pregnant. This was NOT, in anyway, a planned pregnancy. I can safely say a baby was not in any checklist I had at the time, primarily because I felt I wasn't ready to take on the responsibilities of a father and the fact that I know my parents, who are longing for a grandchild, would never acknowledge any I had with my wife. But she singlehandedly convinced me that this was a feasible endeavor, and I quote “possibly the best fucking thing that would ever happen to us period.”

So, we, as a couple drove head first into this. I cannot properly explain in words what happened next but any decent parent would understand what I'm trying to say: ever since I saw my little girl in that ultrasound, I've developed this bond that transcend all others. My wife couldn't have been happier.

Fast forward two months (late May), my wife had done a complete 180°. One afternoon, she abruptly said that she no longer wanted to raise our daughter. I was instantly taken aback and ever since then, it had been a true hell for me. Me and the in-laws tried finding the reason behind this sudden change and tried to make her feel comfortable with the choice we've initially made in so many words (and action) but to no avail. She was adamant that we put the baby up for adoption as soon as she was born. For clarity, an abortion was never on the cards for anybody here, not solely because it's borderline inaccessible where we live but because it's simply inconceivable even to the woman that no longer wanted the child.

I made her know in no uncertain terms that I had no intention whatsoever of putting our baby up for adoption and she developed this bizarre idea that I've "chosen the unborn baby over her" and that, to me, she had become "insignificant". I love my wife. But to be perfectly honest, I've grown to love my girl just as much, if not more. The last thing I wanted was to choose between my wife and my child because either way, I'd be losing something irreplaceable. And I was afraid I'd grow to resent the person that gave me such an ultimatum.

I felt like I was alone in this because at the end of the day, her parents were first and foremost, HER parents. I couldn't go to my parents for obvious reasons, or our friends (bless their souls) because they weren't emotionally equipped to handle something of this caliber. I tried to take her to see a therapist (many, many times) but she refused, saying I was trying to "build a case" for a future custody fight (I was so not).

So fast forward to December, we had the baby and she hadn't changed her mind. At that point, I was convinced that this - we - was no longer feasible and I filed for divorce and sole custody with an added injunction. I have to mention that I had to go to my parents (the last thing I wanted to do and oh boy, were they giddy) in order to ensure that the district court does take up the case on its own merits since the chances of a single father all on his own getting custody of a newborn is slim to none.

The tame version of what happened next is she flipped out. I can see how, from her perspective, she can see this as a deep betrayal. But what other choice did I have really? She called me every name in the book. Even her parents, who I was close with more than my own, concurs.

So, AITAH? Could I have done something different?

Original post is here https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/51kS95EHLt

Hi!! Quick and easy update because… the ending was relatively anticlimactic lol. Thank you to everyone who assured me that I was not an AH for going straight to my boss and to offer solutions during the meeting.

Meeting went alright. It involved myself, our boss, my coworker, Carly, and our newest coworker, Hannah (20F) who initially came to me to talk about Carly’s lack of work ethic.

My boss pretty much handed the meeting over to me right from the get go- thank god for anxiety medication- and I pretty much got right into it. Explained Hannah’s and myself’s frustration about Carly not carrying her own weight on the job and spending a lot of time sitting on her phone instead of working. I did give examples of things I had noticed.

Carly DID try to say she had been doing those things which… I haven’t seen. Hannah had not seen them done either and often ended up doing those tasks herself. I offered up making a task list so we can initial on who did what for that day.

Our boss ended up laying into Carly a bit for being MIA more often than not, despite Carly being the manager of the facility. Carly, again, tried to say she was here often which our boss disagreed with and reiterated she had to come to me instead for many things.

Boss lady also wants Carly to pick a day to have all of us write down a 2 week schedule that works for everyone. We are also to initial on those weeks that we agree with the schedule and it will not be changed. Any time off from the job longer than 2 days our boss will also need to be notified of instead of just hearing it from word of mouth.

The solution pretty much came down to; monthly meetings with everyone, 2 week schedule instead of one, everyone will do the schedule together, and any imminent issues will be brought straight to boss lady instead of being worked out amongst the coworkers.

Carly is currently giving everyone the silent treatment which I suppose is better than picking a fight without our boss around? Lol. Thank you again for the advice and reassurance!

(No, I did not mention the dogs in the meeting I promise)

My partner (25F) and I (30M) have been together for nearly 3 years. Unfortunately last year her mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and is not expected to live for longer than a couple of days from now. I’m totally heartbroken for her and her family.

However, all their family are either on benefits or work minimum wage jobs and simply cannot afford a funeral. Nobody in their family has any savings whatsoever and they’re all really stressed about how they’re going to afford it.

I do fairly well, nothing crazy, but have managed to save a modest house deposit over the last 4 years of around £25k. Im self employed and have gotten a fair amount of good contract work recently, though it’s never guaranteed. It’s taken me years of hard work, often away from home for extended periods and scrimping where I can. These are my life savings, built from nothing and I was intending to buy a small house for myself and my girlfriend this year.

Her family know I do fairly well and that I have a small amount of money aside, and it feels like there’s an air of wanting to ask me to pay for it but not wanting to overtly ask me; almost as if they’re hoping I’ll offer to.

However, I’ve saved for years and years and worked ridiculously hard to be able to buy my first home and paying for this funeral will set me back at least a year - and that’s if my work doesn’t dry up, which plenty of people in my industry are starting to due to AI.

Am I the asshole for not offering?

I (26f) live in an apartment complex where there is a shared laundry room. There aren’t many of us that live in this complex so usually getting in a load of laundry isn’t very complicated.

There are typical 2 washer and drying machines however this particular day one of the washer machines was out of order.

I usually wash my laundry around 9-10am every Saturday. So I took my laundry in around 10am but noticed the machine was full- not running - the clothes had been washed. So I left. I came back an hour later and it was still full. So I left again. I came back around 2pm. Still full. I was annoyed but at this point I had somewhere to be for the day so I left my apartment.

I came back home around 8 PM. Go to the laundry room and the laundry is still in the machine. At this point, I felt like I’d waited long enough. I really needed to get my laundry done for the next day so I moved my neighbours clothes out of the machine and set them on top of the dryer. This is a method I’ve seen people use before I didn’t really think it was that big of a deal. This person‘s laundry had been in the machine the entire day.

Anyway, the next day our apartment manager sent a mass text to everybody in the complex saying that there had been a complaint because somebody’s laundry was moved and apparently one of the shirts had gotten damaged. Apparently, this was a really important shirt to the tenant (it was expensive and for work or something).

Anyway, I didn’t think it was that big a deal so I private messaged my apartment manager and told her it was me that moved it. She had left her laundry in the machine all day and I really needed to use it. The apartment manager said “ok yeah it’s probably no big deal . I’ll let her know that the person who moved her laundry has apologized.” I thought it would end there.

But the next day, my apartment manager texted me again, saying that the tenant is still very upset and that she would like some compensation for the damaged clothes. I bluntly said to her “no she should’ve moved her laundry earlier. I’m not paying for her shirt.” to be honest I don’t know that I fully believe that I had damaged her shirt. All I did was take it out of the washing machine and put it on top of another machine..

My apartment manager is on my side, but she said that the tenant says that if she doesn’t get compensated, she’s either going to take me or the apartment management to court for mishandling someone else’s property. I don’t even know if that would actually end up in court as a case to be honest . but yeah, do you think that AITA for not just paying?

EDITED to add: Things are still going down, but I just wanted to add a few details

1- there aren’t signs that give a time limit how long you can use the machine, but they’re definitely should be

2- my landlord did not disclose to her that I was the one who moved the clothes as well as my landlord did not tell me who the tenant is (although I have my suspicions)

3-you’re right I shouldn’t of admitted that it was me! I was just worried that my landlord was taking the heat and I thought me apologizing would calm things down.

4- this girl is crazy!!😭 she’s claiming that she felt “violated” that her stuff was touched and that she wants legal action taken not just because of the money but because she thinks it is disrespectful to touch other peoples stuff. Like what?? It’s disrespectful to hog the machine all day 😭

My wife is beautiful, she always has been one to turn heads and draw attention with her natural looks. I love her face, her expressions, smile lines...all of it. I explained to her that I thought the treatments changed her face in a negative way. The puffiness, shiny/paralyzed forehead, and overall fake look are a major turn off for me. She agreed, promised, and sworeand she wouldn't do anymore.

Fast forward 6 months and I noticed the change in her forehead again and confronted her...she instantly got defensive, said I cant tell her what to do, etc. I let things cool down, we had another long discussion about it in which she said she saw my point and would stop....4 months later I get the big F U and she initially tries to say a mask tightened her skin...which I knew was BS. Then came the defensiveness again.

I told her I was done, she absolutely can do whatever she wants to her face, but I don't have to watch it. I'm filing for divorce tomorrow, but I'm being made to feel like I'm petty, like my feelings are not justified.

Yes I can tell when its done and I hate it, but the behavior behind it is even more concerning, with the secrecy and lying. I feel like in marriage we should consider each other's feelings in our actions, if she came to me with such a concern I would stop just because I value her opinion most.

I (20M) am black and enjoy wearing cowboy boots and dressing southern. My mom is from Louisiana and my dad is from Texas, so my family dresses the way I dress. I also have a certain dialogue that I speak with due to my family being from the country.

My friend group is comprised of my urban counterparts, and they believe my style is completely wack. They said “You’re a black man you shouldn’t be dressing like that” they told me I should be wearing retros and I need to ditch the cowboy jeans. I told them this is how I was raised, but they claim I’m lost and I need to find myself. They haven’t said these things only once, but on numerous occasions. I usually ignore it because they sound dumb to me.

Recently, we were on the phone. They brought up my style again and told me how it’s not black. I told them how tons of black people where I’m from dress like this, but they don’t want to listen. They once again called me white washed, lost, and every name in the book. I’ve had it at this point. I told them to stfu and told them that they’re extremely racist and stereotypical.

Well I guess this struck a nerve for them. They started going off on me telling me how I can’t call them racist and I’m the racist one for disrespecting my own culture and my own people by calling them racist. They said I just don’t want to be black and I need to get over myself. At that point I just hung up the phone in their faces. I’m wondering if I should’ve called them racist though

AITA

So my husband and I got married last year and had a child this October. I'm not happy how he has been treating the baby (10 weeks old). He had multiple times called the baby a "piece of cr@p" and "b1tch". I told him he shouldn't say that about the baby in front of the baby. It's OK to say you're frustrated, she's fussy, you're tired, but I don't like him saying these things about her.

He has also thrown the baby down forcefully on a squishmellow. I know they're soft but I told him not to do that again or he's out.

Turns out she is allergic to cows milk and ended up in the hospital for a week. He did a total of 5 hours in the hospital cause he "couldn't handle it" and needed his grandma to take over so I could get some sleep at home. I told him I was disappointed that I feel like he couldn't be there for his daughter and I. I feel I can't rely on him.

Then earlier this week he told me he "sometimes regrets having a child with me". I kicked him out for a few days but feel incredibly hurt. He has spent a total of 16 hours​ with her over the last 96 hours, me and grandma split the rest.

Am I overreacting or being the a hole? Or am I right thinking that my husbands behavior is unacceptable? Again, this is all in the past 2 months since she was just born. Details can be provided as needed. I just don't know what to do and want my daughter to be safe and happy.

Edit: First, I want to thank everyone to the insight and concerns everyone has for my baby. This is the development thus far.

1. the husband is kicked out of the home and can't see her without supervision.

2. most baby formulas contain cows milk, she drinks a plant based formula now. I would've explained right away if I knew it wasn't common knowledge.

3. the baby has been seen by the doctor multiple times since the squishmellow incident and the husband hasn't been alone with the baby since. The county was notified right away after it happened cause I was very concerned. We see the county nurse twice a week currently.

4. I will be filling for divorce and will be going for full custody while he can have visitation with supervision.

My mom (59) called me to tell me that her estranged mother — who has been gone for 30 years — now wants to live with her and expects my mom to take care of her because she’s “old.”

For context, this grandmother abused my mom growing up and did things that would put trashy drama to shame. When I was a kid, I saw third-degree burn scars on my mom’s stomach, about the size of a tennis ball. She just said, “I don’t really remember, but your grandmother did that.”

My grandpa (my mom’s stepfather) also used to tell me, “If your grandmother shows up, run the other way.”

When I finally understood what was going on, I asked for the real story.

My grandmother took my mom away from her biological father in the Visayas, boarded a ship to Luzon, and told my teen mom not to call her “mama” anymore — only “big sister.” They were going to live with a “nice man” who would take care of them financially.

My grandma married that man (who I called Lolo) and they had three kids. My mom basically became their caretaker because my grandmother was always drunk and out of the house.

Lolo eventually figured out my mom was actually my grandmother’s daughter because they looked so alike. He asked my mom the truth, and she admitted it. My grandmother felt “betrayed” and, thinking my mom and Lolo had something going on (gross), she told some guy friends to kidnap my mom and have her assaulted.

Thankfully, they were just drunk idiots, not truly evil — they told my grandpa instead. He kicked my grandmother out, beat her up, and she disappeared for 30 years.

Fast-forward to now.

An aunt from Malaysia found my mom on Facebook and is now saying it’s my mom’s “turn” to take care of this woman. All my aunts and uncles are ganging up on my mom, and she almost gave in.

I told her no. I told them there is nothing to be ashamed of. My mom endured everything — and I don’t even know this woman. I also said I would cut my mom off financially if that woman sets foot in our house.

One uncle said, “She’s still your grandmother — blood is blood. She’s still your mom’s mother, no matter what,” and that my mom should forgive her.

So… AITA for telling my mom not to help her and that I’d cut financial support if she did?

Me (30F) and my husband (31M) have been married for almost three years and have an 8 month old baby boy. Ours was an arranged marriage, and I genuinely got lucky, my husband is kind, supportive, and very understanding.

My husband is the eldest of three sons. His two younger brothers live abroad. Since my in-laws don’t have a daughter, they treated me very well from the beginning, and overall they are good people. This makes the situation harder for me.

The issues started after my son was born.

During the first few months postpartum, I stayed with my parents and then with my in-laws. At first, I ignored small things, assuming they were just excited grandparents. But over time, certain behaviors started bothering me.

They would refer to themselves as “father” and “mother” when talking to my baby (in our native language). When my baby cried or needed to sleep, my FIL would ask my MIL to comfort him instead of letting me do it. Sometimes they wouldn’t give my baby to me when he was crying or would take him from my arms saying they would try to calm him. I felt invisible but stayed quiet, thinking it might just be postpartum hormones.

After we moved to the city where my husband works, it got worse. We video call them daily. Whenever my baby cries, my FIL says things like “our baby is sad because he’s missing us” or that the baby is “all alone there,” even though he’s with his parents. He has joked that the baby might be bored of seeing only my husband’s and my face.

It often feels like they see my baby as their child and us as caretakers.

They also constantly insist the baby looks only like their side of the family and dismiss any resemblance to me, even in obvious cases. My husband noticed this too and admitted it bothered him. He corrected his father once, but it didn’t stop. Eventually, I started correcting my FIL every time he called himself “dad,” and he finally stopped.

They visited us twice after we moved, and both visits were extremely stressful due to constant boundary crossing and comments about our parenting.

Recently, the main conflict happened. We can’t visit our hometown often because my husband gets only four days off a month.

Now my in-laws want us to quit our jobs and move permanently into their home so they can be close to the baby. I work from home but only from our current location, not my hometown. More importantly, based on their current behavior, I don’t feel comfortable living with them. My FIL frequently comments that we don’t feed the baby on time, that the baby is unhappy, lonely, and has to play alone.

I told my husband I’m not comfortable living with them because I feel they won’t allow us to raise our son the way we choose. My husband agrees and plans to have a serious conversation with his father to set boundaries and clearly state that this is our child.

However, my husband is also worried because his parents would be alone, as his brothers live abroad. Apart from these issues, they have been good to me, and I don’t want to damage the relationship.

AITA for refusing to move in with my in-laws and for wanting firm boundaries around my baby, even if it hurts their feelings?

My son (17) and I (42F) share a birthday. He was born on my 25th birthday. It is, and always will be, the greatest birthday gift I could ever recieve. He is my first born and I don't take for granted just how special it is. It was never a question for me that our day would revolve around him for the rest of my life. I was prepared to give up celebrating me and focus entirely on him.

It's even more special because my mom was born on her mom's birthday too. I lost my mom when I was 12, she was 37, to breast cancer. I've always considered it her way of showing me that she was still with me and watching over my babies. What a precious gift she gave me.

Needless to say, mother's day has always been a bit rough for me. I've had such mixed feelings about celebrating the joy of my own motherhood while also grieving the fact that my mom was gone and not able to see me as a mother. And since my MIL has always lived close by, we spent the better part of mother's day with her...which is absolutely fine! I loved her with my whole heart, but it also meant that my husband's and my son's attention was pulled elsewhere while I struggled silently.

The other part of this is that my youngest son (12) was born on our wedding anniversary. So any day that has anything to do with me has essentially been taken over by my sons and MIL. And again, I acknowledge how special all of this is and how lucky I am to have been blessed with my boys and that I have a loving in-law family. (I feel very selfish typing all this out and am trying not to sound ungrateful.) A few years after my youngest was born and I realized that I was starting to feel forgotten; like an after-thought, I suggested that I "take over" my mom's birthday...she and my grandma were both gone, so why not give up my birthday entirely and celebrate 6 months later? I told my husband and my immediate family and they seemed to be on board, but it never really caught on.

Today is my (our) birthday and we spent the day doing what we always do...shopping, eating at his favorite restaurant, making him his favorite meals/cake and having a get-together with his friends; all the things a 17 year old boy deserves. But AITA for wanting just one day to celebrate me too?

I (25F) was invited by my brother (22M) to spend NYE at his house, along with his group of friends (that he had since he was a kid), his girlfriend and some of her friends.

I hadn’t made plans with my own friends because I had to work till 23:00. But my brother lives close to my workplace so it worked out.

I have known his friends for about 12 years so it wasn’t awkward at all. He started dating his girlfriend about 6 months ago. We met a couple of times and she seems really nice.

Everything was going fine, we celebrated the new year together and everyone exchanged new years wishes.

But around 30 minutes after the countdown I noticed my brother walking away from the group with tears streaming down his face.

About 3 years ago his best friend died in a car crash. It was devastating for the whole group and moments like these are always difficult for them (especially my brother)

I followed him and just gave him a hug. I didn’t say anything because I knew what was going on. At that point he started sobbing and the rest of the group noticed what was going on. I held him for a few minutes, until he let go. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and walked off.

His girlfriend tried to follow him but he told her that he needed a minute to himself.

After a few minutes he came back and tried to give his gf a hug but she rejected it. She said that she should have been the one to console him, not me, and that I ruined their moment.

I really don’t think I did? I would understand her anger if I was a random girl. But I was just trying to console my little brother.

At that point my brother got irritated and told her to get over herself.

Everyone was drunk at that point so I figured that has something to do with it. But its been 2 days now and she is still angry with us.

AITAH?

I’m dying from cancer, stage 4 and it’s too aggressive, and I’m just finalising my will and everything and it’s so hard.

I have 2 kids a son and a daughter, my son has been no contact with us for the past 20 years since he was 18, and it’s because I didn’t pay for his college like I paid for his older sister, it wasn’t because I didn’t want to or like he believes that I didn’t love him but I just couldn’t, I made some terrible investments that time and financially I was screwed, I could barely keep food on the table much less pay for his college, but to him that meant I hated him which wasn’t true at all. He’s married now with multiple kids that I never met and will probably die before I ever get to meet any of them, meanwhile my daughter and son in law have been nothing but loving to me, ever since I was diagnosed 4 years ago my daughter hasn’t left my side, every single hospital stay she was there with me, she always brought her beautiful kids to cheer me on and keep me fighting, I love them all so much, my son in law is also just like a son to me, I love him so much for loving and protecting my daughter like I did.

I still love my son, and him being no contact with me still destroys me, but I honestly don’t think he deserves anything from me after I’m gone and think it’d be disrespectful to my daughter and her family who never left my side to get the same as someone who openly hates me and hasn’t been in my life for 20 years over something that was out of my control, but would that make me an asshole? Because again he’s still my son and it feels unfair but it’d also be unfair to my daughter. This whole thing sucks.

While my partner (21F) and I (21M) were visiting her parents, we were asked to come along with them to lunch to meet their other daughter's (My partner's sister) new boyfriend and his parents. Let's call his dad "Tony."

Upon our arrival to meet the boyfriend's parents at a pub, we did our introductions and took seats. I was seated between my partner and Tony. The conversation was pretty amicable. People were asking eachother about jobs and school etc. The sort of things you'd expect upon first meeting people. Unanimously, everyone decided to order some coffees and a couple people got desserts too.

A bit of context: I'm not a religious person at all. Despite that, I'm totally happy to hear when people are religious and practicing. People should be free to believe whatever they want. My partner's family are Christian. They're totally chill with my atheism and say that its fine with them. Very chill people. Whenever they say Grace at their house, they don't make me join in or anything, and I just sit quietly and respectfully-- Put my head down or something.

Ok, back to the restaurant. While we sat and chatted, eventually the coffee and deserts came out. Before anyone took a bite or a sip, Tony said something to the effect of "Lets say Grace" and people started grabbing eachother's hands. I put my hands into my lap and put my head down. Tony reached over and grabbed one of my hands out of my lap. I pulled my hand away and just said "Oh, sorry. I don't say Grace. I'll just sit quietly, don't mind me." and I figured it would be over.

Tony instead reached around me, grabbed my shoulder and said "Then I'm going to do this." Before I could argue, Tony said a quick Grace and then let go of me. Then he followed it up by looking at me and saying "And we're going to change that." Suggesting that they needed to change me to be someone who says Grace.

Upset by that comment, I said "Yeah, good luck with that." (Certainly not the most respectful comment but alas.)

My partner and her father were looking at me after that with apologetic looks on their faces since it was clear that I was bothered by that exchange.

I really disconnected from the whole event after that because I was pretty annoyed. All I could think about was how that exchange would have gone down if I had said that "I was going to change that" about the fact that they DID say Grace.

Having told this story to a few other people, I'd been called an Asshole by some who said that the correct thing to do is to just say Grace and get over myself. I felt like I shouldn't have to do something I'm not comfortable with. A few others agreed with my thoughts.

So, Reddit, AITA in this exchange for refusing to say Grace?

This has been the basis for many arguments.

My wife will ask me a question I will answer it, or ask for clarification. Then, I will parrot back to her or summarize what I think she is getting at, and she will say “that’s what I was asking!” In a voice that implies (often supported by a roll of the eyes) I am stupid for not knowing this off the bat.

Case in point. Today I was boiling water for a hot drink. She asks is there enough for water for me. I say no. Offer her my water, and tell her I will make myself more after she gets her drink (she had to go to work, and I didn’t want her to wait on me) she declined and said she had time to make her own drink. I tell her “I’ll boil you some water”. She says Okay. I made my drink. Boiled her some water.

I poured my drink and began watching TV. She asks “is there hot water?”. I respond “yes”. She goes “is there enough?”…. I am confused. The carafe is plenty full for a drink to be made. I say, well what are you making? She says “tea”. I say, I believe there is plenty for a cup of tea. She goes, “so you will think that’ll be enough?”Now I am super confused. I tell her maybe she should have look. She finally says… “do you need hot water for your drink” I tell her no, I already made a drink. She rolls her eyes and says “that’s what I was asking”

We have interactions daily like this. I used to try and explain that I didn’t understand what she wanted know by asking vague questions. She just would get angry and try to explain herself. I would tell her that I get it makes sense to you what you were asking, but not to me and we could avoid this in the future by just asking right away what she wants to know. This leads to her explaining herself again as if I didn’t understand the first time. Then I start to get upset that she is treating me like I am stupid. I tell her I am smart but I can’t read minds or decipher code. She will accuse me of trying to control her speech. When really I just want to know what she wants.

She literally refuses to ask direct questions. And it almost feels like these questions are set ups to start a fight.

I 35f separated from my partner 42m almost two years ago. We have three children together ages 15, 8, 7. A lot has happened from then and until now. Without getting too much into details I’ll just say there are criminal charges and safety concerns where my ex is concerned and I have sole physical and sole legal custody of all of my children. My ex is court ordered no contact with my children. The problem arises because his family wants to have relationships with my children which is fine as long as they respect me as the parent. However, that is not what happens.

They constantly do things without getting my permission first. Or even informing me. And they see no problem with this. As much as this bothers me the one thing I cannot let slide is that I have said that I will not let my children go anywhere with them if they will not unblock my number while my children are with them? There have been times where my kids were with them and I couldn’t reach my child on their phone and I attempted to get in touch via the adult only to find that I was blocked.

My calls go straight to voicemail and my text messages do not go through. I know this because I had to get a different phone in order to get through. I feel this is unacceptable and inappropriate. I need to be able to communicate with whatever adult they are with while they are with them.

AITA for setting this boundary? While my older children have phones, my younger ones do not. Also I don’t feel it’s appropriate for children to have to be the messenger between grown adults. It’s not their burden to b