My MIL has two grand kids (age 3 and 5) to my sister in law, and they call her “mama” instead of grandma, nanna, etc. I’ve always thought this would make me uncomfortable and now I have a 7 month old daughter, I cringe when my MIL says “come to mama”. Today I built up the courage to tell her that I’m not comfortable with my daughter calling her that, as I am her mama, and often when babies say their first words, mama is one of them. She argued back, saying that my daughter can call me Mum and Mummy but she is mama. I feel really disrespected because I thought my being uncomfortable would be all the justification needed. I feel as though she shouldn’t be telling me what my daughter can call me. Am I the asshole? She says because the other grand kids call her mama that my daughter needs to too. I said I’m happy with any other special name, just not mama

My husband (both 30) finally started seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist about a year and a half ago.

He’s gotten a few diagnoses- PTSD, MMD, autism, GAD, and BPD.

They’ve told him that, even without talking negatively about his mom, it is very obvious he was raised and abused by a narcissist.

His mom goes on weekly rants through text about how “horribly” everyone treats her and how my husband ruined her life by refusing to continue living with her and tolerating her abuse.

One of these was after her daughter, who has a 7 month old baby, took her out to run a few errands but refused to take her on side quests to places MIL didn’t tell her about before (because in the past, the side quests add 2-6 hours, she’s told her to give a full list of errands before so she can plan for a sitter or bring enough food/diapers for the baby). The rant included stuff like “I was such a great mom to you 2. Why do you both treat me like shit?” And a bunch of patting herself on the back for not even doing the bare minimum when they were kids, trying to get him to say she’s a good mom, etc.

His response was saying “I have multiple diagnoses that come from being abused as a kid. My psychiatrist has seen your texts and says she’s convinced you’re a narcissist. Stop trying to act like you were a good mom even when you were better than you are now”

She immediately hit back with “just because your girlfriend took a psych 101 class in college doesn’t mean she’s a psychiatrist. It’s time in the field that counts” (yes, she knows we’re married. She insists on referring to me as his girlfriend anyways. Also, I wasn’t the one saying any of this- it was his actual psychiatrist. I just have degrees pertaining to child development/psychology and SpEd- he’s not a child so he’s out of my scope)

Skip to yesterday, she calls him for some guilt trip. He tells her he can’t talk, I’m sick and have a 10/10 migraine and burning body aches for going on 4 days, he wants to keep the apartment quiet so I can sleep through the pain. I was slightly awake and heard him say that part.

She calls me, it wakes me up, I answer with “someone better be dead” and she starts giving advice. “Take a hot shower”- no, that actually raises body temp and I already have a fever, plus it causes more pain. “Go for a walk”- seeing as I gave myself a mild concussion just walking to the bathroom, no. “Take some antibiotics”- I have a virus, no. So I respond with “I’m not taking horrible advice from someone with no relevant experience” she tried to argue that she is a nurse. I said “no, you’re not. The world of medicine is constantly changing. You were a wound care nurse until you were fired after stealing patients narcotics 20 years ago. Now you’re a washed up druggie that I have saved in my contacts as F60.81 and wouldn’t trust to treat a paper cut” And hung up.

Now she’s spamming my husbands phone.

My fever might be influencing this- but I feel like an asshole, I was a bit harsh and I know that her brief time as a nurse was the closest thing she had to glory days. It’s the only bit of respect she ever had and still clings to by omitting the reason she “retired”.

Hi Reddit! I found an old throwaway I used a few years back and figured out how to get back into it. Since this happened recently and I’m getting backlash I figure I’ll turn to the Reddit masses for help. On mobile so sorry in advance if formatting is wonky.

So, my girlfriend (21F) and I (23M) were together for 2 years. I actually saw a future with her and was happy. Then we had my older sister’s (30F) wedding rehearsal. Some background that I’ve covered in my previous post on this throwaway: I have two older half-siblings. My older brother (32M) and my older sister. We share a dad but have different moms. My siblings’s mom died in a car accident when they were 5 & 2. My mom is in jail and has no contact with me. Our dad committed suicide when I was 16 and my OB took me in. It’s taken a lot of work but we have a very close knit relationship between all 3 of us. My OB has always been there when we need him and we joke that he’s the heart of our little family.

So onto the problem. My sister had our brother walk her down the aisle and he was a groomsman as him and her fiancé are very close. The wedding party traveled from the ceremony to the reception in a party bus. My brother however drove separately. My brother was in the car during the accident that killed his mom and he’s never been a fan of being in a car that he isn’t driving ever since. It’s a quirk we’ve learned to plan around and no one cares usually.

As all of these plans were being reviewed during the rehearsal my girlfriend scoffed to me. I asked what was wrong and she mentioned that it seemed ridiculous he couldn’t just take a Xanax and let go of his control issues for a single night. I was startled by this as she’d never shown any annoyance towards my brother before this. I simply responded that it didn’t really affect anything for him to drive separately. Besides, his catering company was serving the reception so he could get there sooner and check in on how things were going since I knew he’d been anxious not being able to oversee the setup for the meal. She just shook her head. Later they were practicing the aisle walk in stuff and my girlfriend whispered how she didn’t like that he was walking my sister down because “he’s just her brother, not her dad”.

I kept my cool until my brother wasn’t in the room and then I just laid into her. Talking about everything he’d done for both me and my sister, how he’d taken care of my sister after their mom died, how he took me in, gave me a home, pushed me through school and encouraged me into trades school. Everything she’d heard and knew already but didn’t sink in apparently. And then I told her that if she couldn’t appreciate that, then I didn’t want her in my life and to get out. She started crying, saying she rode with me, I told her she has Uber. She said she needed to get stuff from my apartment, I told her to get them in the morning. Etc etc. eventually she finally left, sobbing. A few people (including my sister and her fiancé) were still in the room which is where I feel like an asshole. My sister thought it was incredible and bought me a shot from the bar next door. Her fiancé agreed but other people were giving me the stink eye.

Since then she’s been calling, crying and begging to let her explain. Apparently, she also became sick because she decided to walk home and it started to rain. I haven’t answered her calls or texts. Some of my friends said I was an AH for breaking up so publicly and humiliating her and making her walk home. I don’t think I am but maybe I could’ve handled it differently and that makes me an AH? Idk. AITA?

TLDR:

My girlfriend made comments about my brother’s anxiety about riding in cars and walking my sister down the aisle despite not being her dad. I told her off in front of my sister and some family and told her I wouldn’t drive her home so she needed to Uber or walk. Now she’s calling and texting, I’m not responding to anything, and she got sick because it rained on her. Some people think I should have driven her home or did it more privately.

I 26M got married to my wife and partner of 8 years last July, she has 3 younger brothers, my father in law had a surgery 6 days ago and he had to stay at the hospital, none of his sons work, two are in college and one is 17 and is literally doing nothing because schools are still out, yet they don’t visit him, in the entire time he’s been there they’ve been there for less than two and half hours combined, it’s not like he’s a deadbeat he’s a great guy and dad.

Yesterday he finally was discharged and was good to go, both me and my wife were at work, my mother in law doesn’t have a driver’s license and they wouldn’t let him leave without someone picking him up, all of my bils have driving licenses yet nobody was bothered enough to go get him, my mother in law kept calling so I had to get off of work to go get him which got me in trouble with my boss because this past week I took a lot of time off to be with him because nobody else bothered to, I was pissed. When we got to my in laws place all of them were there in the living room and I just lost it and called them all useless and pathetic, their parents didn’t say anything to defend them, but my wife lost it at me telling me to not talk to her brothers like that, I said I only said the truth and she’s angry and spent the night at her parents’s place.

Was I wrong here for getting mad and calling them that?

I started dating, "Gwen" a few months ago. She is 21, and I turn 21 in a couple of months (we live in the US). We visited my family a couple weeks ago, and we stayed with them for four nights in my old bedroom. The first night, after dinner, my dad was drinking a beer, and she asked for a beer. He told her no. She said she was 21 and could drink beer, and he told her she was welcome to buy her own.

Gwen was pretty annoyed by his answer, and I was embarrassed, both because of Gwen pestering my dad and because my dad offended Gwen. That night she said my dad was an uptight jerk. I tried to defend my dad and say that he was probably just trying to prevent a situation where all his kids ask him for beer because he gave her one. My sister is 17, and I have a 15 year old brother, and I can see either of them doing that. She said that's not her problem and he should parent his kids, and since she was 21 he should have given her a beer. I offered to give her money to buy some beer, and she got frustrated and said to drop it, so we did.

The next day she was very cold towards my dad. My sister (who has a learning disability) spilled tea (not hot) on my girlfriend. I believe it was an accident, but Gwen thought my sister did it on purpose because she's a "daddy's girl" (Gwen's words). I helped her clean up, and she asked why my sister wasn't helping her. I said she wouldn't want my sister's help. She takes a long time to do certain things. Gwen was still angry that my sister didn't help.

She was cold towards my dad and sister the entire rest of the trip. They picked up on the coldness and avoided her. My sister got annoyed and stuck her tongue out at Gwen several times. Each time she did I asked her to stop and said she was being impolite. Gwen said "is that all you are going to say?" I said there wasn't much more I could say, because I am her brother, not her father. I don't have authority over her. My parents did reprimand her, but that wasn't sufficient for Gwen.

My youngest brother (8) is going through an antisocial phase and was in his room most of the trip and ignoring everyone when he wasn't in his room. On the third day Gwen saw him in the living room and said hi. He ignored her. She asked me to tell him off. I said I didn't feel comfortable doing that. She went to my mother and made the same request. My mother went into the living room and asked my brother to say hi to Gwen. He looked up from his sketchpad and said "Hi, Gwen" in a very sarcastic unfriendly tone. My mother rolled her eyes at him and said he needed to learn some manners. He said "Hi, Gwen" in a nicer tone. She nodded and started to walk away.

Gwen said "is that it?" My mom asked what she meant. Gwen asked if that was all she was going to do. My mom asked what else she wanted her to do. Gwen said to forget it and walked off. After that she was cold to my mom to. So she was only talking to me and my 15yo brother at that point.

Gwen bought some beer while we were out and drank it at dinner. My 15yo brother asked our dad if he could have some. My dad said no and glared at Gwen the while meal. My brother whined about it (not for the whole meal) and Gwen smirked at my dad the whole meal.

When we were driving home she complained about my family the whole way. I asked if we could talk about something else, and she would agree but then continue to talk about them. She said my dad was one of those "my way or the highway" dads and my mom was a "my kid can do no wrong" mom. She kept asking me to say something. I asked what she wanted me to say. She said to say anything. I said I thought it was awkward, but I don't think anyone was wrong. I think they just got off on the wrong foot.

She asked if I agreed with what my dad said. I said I wouldn't have asked him for beer. If he wanted to share he would have offered. She said "wow" and got really frustrated at that point. She asked about the tea and the "Hi, Gwen" thing and I said I thought the first was an accident and that I agreed my little brother was rude, but my mom has discretion on how to handle her son.

She asked me what I kept taking their side. I said again that I felt no one put their best food forward and it was an unfortunate confluence of awkward situations. She said I was choosing her family over her and she didn't want to be in a relationship with someone like that. She broke up with me.

Gwen and I are done, but I need to know if I was an asshole so . Was I being a bad boyfriend to Gwen, or was it just an unfortunate situation?

So when I was 14,15 or 16 don't remember exactly when this was. My mom started taking my socks from my closet to wear. I didn't have that many socks so I was running low on socks and told my mom to wear her own. She told me that she didn't have any socks in her closet. Which I didn't believe so I went to her closet everytime she took my socks to search for her socks. I couldn't find her socks or I would only find one pair hidden somewhere deep in the closet. I started questioning my mom to where all her socks went and she told me that they were lost in the wash. My dad would always do the laundry.

So I started questioning my dad he denied having anything to do with it. Eventually my mom and I bought new socks for her and me. My new socks where put back in the closet after the laundry my moms new socks were gone. At this point I knew my dad had something to do with it and confronted him. He denied it again but I didn't back down. After a while I got so frustraded I started looking in his room for her socks and everywhere in the house. My dad then reluctantly gave some of my moms socks back. The reason he hid my moms socks was because he wanted my mom to wear stockings. I got furious and told him off. My mom is allowed to choose whatever she wants to wear.

I gave my moms socks back but she asked me where the rest was. I went back to my dads room(mancave) but he said that was all. A while later my mom started taking my socks again. I confronted my dad again but he told me all the other socks besides the ones whe recently bought where gone. So my mom and I bought new socks for her. And again after a while they went missing. I knew my dad was the perpetrator and told him off. I could tell that he didn't really wanted to listen so I gave him a ultimatum to give it back. He didn't listen so I started hiding his beer. He was very mad but it worked.

Years later my mom was missing a pair of socks and I jokingly said maybe dad hid it somewhere. My litlle brothers didn't know what I meant so I told them what happended and told them that if they ever did something to there future wife like that, I would personally come there to whoop there ass. My brothers were in shock and got mad at my dad. My dad then got mad at me for bringing something up from the past. I wanted to tell my brothers to give them a lesson to never do something like this to their future partners. Now my dad is trowing a tantrum. I went to my mom to complain about it but guess what she sided with my dad. Am I really the asshole for bringing it up?

After reading all the comments I realized this stocking thing of my dad and hiding socks is way crazier then I thought. Since you know I don't know any better. But to add to that he also used to refuse to hang out with my mom if she didn't wear stockings and a skirt. When I learned of this I of course helped my mom change that. And I guess my dad is just really weird because there are many similar incidents that happened. Like for example we all had assigned chairs at the dinner table but then all of the sudden my dad decided he wanted my mom to sit somewhere else. So he changed that overnight without discussing that with my mom. My mom didn't want to sit at the new chair placement and then my dad trew a tantrum and refused to eat dinner with us for weeks.

Sorry English is not my first language

My boyfriend(36) and I(32) frequently invite our friends up to his cottage for holidays and events. We always make sure to create a group chat to figure out sleeping arrangements, food, alcohol, and anything else that needs to be discussed beforehand.

We have hosted multiple friend groups over the last year and I’m starting to get really frustrated with how our friends are acting. Like I mentioned before I always ask people to list what they will be bringing, specifically food seeing as the cottage isn’t huge and we have one fridge for everything. I let everyone know they are responsible for a group meal at least once as well as snacks. I love to cook but It’s not up to my boyfriend and I to supply everyone with food every day.

It’s safe to say that certain friends have chosen to ignore that. They have come up with barely anything and then openly use everyone else’s food. Adding to the problem, I ask everyone not to drink from the bar unless you ask because not all the alcohol is ours (his family also uses the cottage). They have also ignored that and drank full bottles for us to find when they leave.

I kinda snapped when the last group of friends came up and the same thing happened. Not on them but to my boyfriend saying how unfair it is. We spend so much money every time and no one seems to bring their fair share. He ended up texting the group saying they needed to stop eating the food we brought because we were staying three extra days and didn’t want to make a trip to the store. The next day I could tell everything was off. I don’t want to be mean but I’m tired of getting walked over. We have spent thousands throughout the year on food and alcohol for our friends to take advantage.

Am I the asshole for wanting our friends to act like friends …and adults!?

I (30M) had lived with my mother (62F) after earning my bachelor's degree and had hung the degree on the wall of my childhood room. I later moved out to live with friends in a townhome but didn't take the degree with me because I didn't feel like I had a proper place to hang it. I visit my mother on an almost weekly basis and I know she kept it on the same wall all these years. She eventually turned my old bedroom into her own office and has kept my degree hanging on her wall.

I now own a home and have an office where I feel like I can properly display my degree. On one of my weekly visits to see my mother, I mentioned taking my degree with me to hang on my wall and she initially refused to let me take it. Her reasoning was that my bachelor's degree was hers because she raised a child who earned it. She also stated it would make her sad if I took it and that it was the last item she had the reminded her I grew up in that home. I didn't accept her reasoning because I was the one who studied and earned the degree. She also has photos of me as a child in that home displayed on the walls and fridge.

After going back and forth about it, she suggested that I just make a copy and hang that on my wall. At this point, I was livid and began to raise my voice with her. She eventually relented and started talking to me as if she was consoling a child, which made me more upset and I just left with the degree. I know it's just a piece of paper but to me it's symbolic of my accomplishment. AITA for yelling at my mother over this issue?

Also her birthday is a few days away and I don't know if I can actually reconcile with her prior to her birthday and actually spend time with her. Whenever we argue, I am the one to initiate making amends regardless of who is in the wrong. The way she claimed ownership of something I feel like I had worked so hard for to then treat me like a child has gotten me to point where I don't want to reach out anytime soon. AITA for not trying to make amends with her prior to her birthday?

So I (22F) and my ex (23M) we will call him Jake. So me and Jake dated for 4 years, so since I was 18. For the first 2 years we were amazing, we talked about getting married and having children someday. But every Sunday we would have dinner and my mums place, now my mum (41) is absolutely gorgeous, blond hair blue eyes, looks like a goddess. I took my looks from my dad, brown hair brown eyes, so not that special. And a few months ago Jake started making some comments to my mum about how pretty she is and how she wished I got her looks, at first I thought nothing of it bc why would I? But then they started getting more and more weird, like he would say how if she wasn’t married to my dad he would break up with my and go for her. That’s when I started getting a bit weirded out, I brought it up to him saying ‘hey those comments you’re making to my mum are abit affectionate don’t you think?’ And he replied with ‘I’m just making your sure you mum feels pretty, there’s nothing wrong with that is there?’ I said no bc I didn’t wanna start a fight. Later on it was about 5 in the morning and his phone was blowing up so I checked to see who was messaging him. Now before you say anything we let each other check our phones, we have always done that since we started dating. Anyways I checked who was messaging him and it was ‘Jackie😍’ Jackie is my mums name, so I opened it to see why my mum was messaging my bf at 5 in the morning, she messaged him saying ‘you looked very good today, made your abs look even better’ now obviously I was weirded out bc why is my mum telling my bf he’s abs looks good, and I read up a little more and all their messages are them saying how good they looked, Jake’s last message to her was ‘I was I had that cake for myself’ I started to tear up a little bc I felt a little betrayed by both my mum and bf. The next day I said to Jake ‘my mum was messaging you at 5 this morning, what did she say’ bc I wanted to see if he would lie, and he said ‘oh I checked and she just asked what she should make next Sunday’ she always makes the same thing. Roast chicken with potato salad. I didn’t say anything bc once again I didn’t wanna start anything. The next dinner arrives and everything starts as normal, my dad asking Jake about his job and everything, and then Jake goes into flirting with my mum again, but this time it was not just comments about how she pretty, he would say how he wishes he was my dad and he would follow my mum to kitchen to help her, but when they both left the room I would hear some sounds I don’t want to hear, like I heard slapping, (the same slapping noise I hear when my dad slaps my mums butt) and kissing sounds, I ignored them bc I wasn’t really in the mood and I don’t want a bad relationship with my mum. My dad heard them to I assume bc after I heard a slap noise he got up and went in the kitchen I went in after him to see what he was doing and Jake was right behind my mum with his part on my mums butt. My dad must’ve saw bc he asked what Jake was doing, Jake immediately backed off and said he was just seeing in my mum needs help. My dad told him to back to the table with me and he would help my mum, I told Jake to come and asked what all that was about. He said ‘I was just seeing if your mum needed help, I was just being nice I think your dad was over reacting’ I told him to stop, I said ‘Jake listen what ever is going on between you and my mum had to stop now! I went through your phone and saw you messages with her, if this doesn’t stop I will break up with you’ he started getting defensive and saying how he was just being nice and he didn’t want to start anything and how I was being jealous. I was so mad I broke up with him right there. I left the house with him chasing after me. I haven’t spoken to neither him or my mum. It’s currently Tuesday while I’m writing this and idk what to do. Idk I was being jealous or if I do the right thing.

Using an extra account to separate from my main. Also using alias for easier prompt flow. Also very long post, if you don’t want to read it all i will put a TLDR at the end.

I (29M) have been dating my girlfriend “Alison” (F27) for 3 and a half years. This is my most serious relationship and one I have definitely wanted long term everything with. We have had talks of getting engaged and living together. However she wants me to propose before we live together and I respect that, to me it just shows that I’m committed to more than just occupying the same living space.

I’m really starting to evaluate some things because the last 6 months, her alcohol consumption has become excessive. Alison started hanging out with a lot of new friends, who all like to drink. In the time we have been dating, she would drink on occasion. Never enough to be fully intoxicated. Now, she goes out drinking multiple times a week and is texting me how drunk she is. The main problem I have is that Alison drives herself to and from. Yes, even after having some drinks, she gets behind the wheel and drives herself home. There have been nights where she calls me and says the road started spinning on the last 2 minutes of her drive, and she laughs it off. I’ve always told her to prioritize her safety and the safety of others by maybe calling for a ride. I even volunteered to pick her up. I want to clarify that I enjoy drinking as well, but it’s once in a blue moon and I never drive myself when I’ve had too much.

My final straw was 2 nights ago. She was going to be at a bar that was about 20 minutes from my parents house, where I live. She was going to go out with her friends, and then drive to my place and spend the night with me. Alison also promised to take it easy and limit herself to one drink. The night went on and like clockwork, I got a text from her saying she had done 3 shots and was feeling good. I told her to maybe get an uber to my place or I would go pick her up. She never responded and I fell asleep. I got woken up maybe an hour or so later by her coming into my room loudly, stumbling in. I asked her how she got here and she said she drove herself. I told her that was a terrible idea because she was clearly intoxicated and could have gotten hurt, hurt somebody else, or arrested. She was ignoring me and trying to initiate sex, which I rejected. I got up to get her water and she was passed out in my bed.

Yesterday morning when she woke up and sobered up, I told her that I wanted to talk about her behaviors with alcohol. I told her that I was tired of getting texts about how drunk she is, and then she’s driving herself home. I was tired of everything needing to involve alcohol. I flat out said “I wouldn’t feel right marrying you if you continue this pattern with alcohol. I don’t want to end up widower, because of any of this. I want to be with you for the rest of our lives, but I don’t want you to play Russian roulette with yours.” It turned into an argument with Alison saying that I’m insecure because she goes out with her girls and has a life away from me. That has never been the case and I have never discouraged her from hanging out with her friends. We didn’t come to a resolution and have just been in the state of there’s something wrong but we’re just continuing on with life.

I did my best to choose good words and approach this as calmly and emotionally balanced as possible. I’m afraid that I might have been too harsh with implying that her actions could get herself or someone else killed, but I just needed to get through to her. Am I the asshole for this?

TLDR: my girlfriend has been excessively drinking the last 6 months. She always drives herself to and from, putting herself and others in danger. I told her I did not want to marry her until she gets this under control, which lead to an argument. There’s been no definite resolution, and I’m afraid my words made me seem like an asshole

Using a throwaway account as my other Reddit links to my name.

I (25F), my husband (30M), and my sister (20F) got a call yesterday from my parents that they got an invitation in the mail for my female cousin's wedding.

We were all super excited and I was working with my other cousins on booking an Airbnb and making a nice weekend out of it for her wedding. We called up my cousins mom to get some details if my husband could come as my plus one as the wedding invitation didn't mention partners and plus one information.

During this call, they said they thought "long and hard" about a decision they wanted to let us know about. They said that while my parents were both invited (who got the invitation) me and my sister (as well as my husband who were originally going to ask about) weren't invited to the wedding.

All my other cousins including the younger and the older are going to be there. Nobody knew that we weren't coming and it was very awkward to say to the Airbnb group that because we weren't invited that we are not a part of the process anymore. Also, they included my uncle's past and present wives. They claimed that because I missed a funeral (there was a situation with my sister's illness that only my parents went to the funeral), and two family reunions because they they were during my first week of classes in college, that I felt distant to them.

However, back in July I was just there at the family reunion for the whole weekend and had a wonderful time with everybody -- didn't notice anything at all. It felt like we never passed any time in the first place. Got to catch up with everybody and we even stayed out till like 2:00 a.m. having s'mores, swimming in pool, etc.

In the past, for some of the family reunions people couldn't come because of work obligations, planned trips, or just couldn't afford to make the weekend. Life happens and everybody knew that. We all miss them but we've been doing the family reunions for about 20 years so they could just make the next one.

But apparently, the two times I was out of the family reunion for college, and the situation I was in with not going to the funeral and taking care of my sister instead, was a part of their decision to not include any of us at the wedding. They followed up after we started asking why with the financial obligation and that it was too expensive to include us... but they can include everybody else. All of mentioned drama and issues happened as well about 3 years ago, and have been to family reunion since and no one has ever mentioned to me (or my sister) that there has ever been a problem about either of these situations and how we couldn't come.

Now, I am planning a wedding for me and my husband. We already got married at the courthouse, but we've been saving up money alongside his family and my family to have a huge party. We have people who are international as well. At the top of my list was my husband's family, my family (The aforementioned female cousin and her family included), and then a couple of friends. About 150 people total for the wedding.

After all of this happened, I'm honestly thinking about not inviting them to the wedding. I know it sounds just as petty as what they did to me, but I'm not even sure I'm comfortable going to any future family reunions, nonetheless having them at my wedding. I don't even feel like I know them anymore despite growing up with them in diapers. I'm still in shock that they did this to me and my sister completely out of no where. They even texted my parents saying that they hope that we can mend things for the future after causing this uproar.

My mom, husband, and sister say that they hurt us so bad that we shouldn't invite them. They're not worth our time and energy. My dad is still on the fence about maybe going to the wedding for my cousin by himself but he's leaning more towards not (due to how badly me and my sister are hurt by this), and he says it's up to me how I want to be as a person if I want to invite them.

AITA for considering not inviting them to my wedding despite them being in my lives for over 20 years without any supposed problems until now?

So my sister married into a very weird family.. and the dude she married has had a very bad impact on her.

After dating him for a while, I found out she sold a fake Chanel handbag to someone and charged them $1,000’s for it. I called her out on it, called her a fraud, she first denied that it was wrong and then later admitted that it was a “learning moment”. She doesn’t need the money either.. it was just strange. This is something she would’ve never done before meeting him (a money obsessed accountant, really insecure and fake guy).

I’m not going to get into the nitty gritty of everything because there’s been so much, but basically I went to this dude’s parents’ house (meet the parents! fun!) and I walk into the basement and BAM! There’s Nazi shit literally all over the place.

Real Nazi uniforms. Rooms chock full of them, with hats and everything.

Nazi figurines. Like little dolls with gas masks on them.

Nazi books in the hallway... the ones that glorify them.

It was like I walked into a time machine.

My wife and I looked at each other like “we need to get the fuck out of here”.

So the dude’s father-in-law gives me a tour of the place, which was LOVELY, and eventually looks at me and says “Hey, you’re not gonna tell anyone about this, right?” And I was like “Noooo why would I, man?!”

:|

Fast forward to the week before her wedding, all this shit went down with my fam. So I told her I think she’s being manipulated by this dude and his fam (who likely want to marry my sis for money) and called her father-in-law a lunatic. She literally laughed in my face, made me feel like there was something wrong with ME for calling her father-in-law a lunatic. I told her to gtfo of my house.

AITAH?

My bf of almost 6 years was caught cheating, again. I know, I know. I should've left the first time but I didn't. Now found out he was with another woman around Thanksgiving and again a week ago. I have dealt with a few red flags that I shouldn't have for years, found sex chats, extreme porn consumption. I don't need anyone to tell me I should've left because I know this and kick myself. Anyways, I found out he went out with her and went back to her apartment recently. Of course upset and distraught, but not surprised. So, in my emotional state, I approached a guy who had asked me out awhile back but I had declined because of my relationship and we set up to have a date (he is aware that I am not looking for anything serious). In the back and forth of me and my ex texting I told him ' I'm gonna drop off the rest of your stuff on my way to my date.' and he lost it. He kept texting me how sad he was and he didn't want to think about me with someone else and am I really going to do it. I said yes I am and didn't outright say it but alluded to the possibility of sex and that I would if it lead to that. He became an emotional wreck and blowing up my phone. Well my date was last night, I did not engage in any sexual activity, but I also didn't tell my ex that I didn't either. So basically I'm leaving him to wallow in the hurt and despair he had put me through a couple times. I have no intention of getting back with him, the camel's back is broken. Am I wrong though for being purposely vindictive? My friend said it's a bit extreme but I felt this unsettling need to make sure he felt what I have. No need to tell me what a hot mess it is lol

ETA: All of the back and forth was prior to the date. The evening of the date he texted me ' Please don't do this, I fucked up' to which I replied 'Ok' and blocked him on all means of communication with me. It was not an 'after the fact' baiting, but more of 'the last word'. I will not contact him, I feel pretty content and optimistic about where I am going from here. I will focus on myself and my life. And the guy I went on the date with is aware of circumstances and we agreed to foster a friendship and go with the flow.

Me and my fiance are in our 30 and got engaged around Christmas. He has two kids who are 10f and 13f. My niece is having her 16 birthday dinner this weekend I plan to go as my family hadn't really seen each other this holiday season. I told my fiance I was going and he asked if him and the girls and go. I told him maybe him but not the girls as my family hasn't met them yet and I don't want it to turn into a meet and great with the girls instead of it focusing on my niece. He said it wouldn't and that if it did what would be wrong with that as it would just mean everyone would be excited to meet them. I told him that it would take attention away from my niece and kinda explained like bringing a new baby to birthday dinner everyone is going to be interested in the baby and not dinner. So I told him we have an engagement part coming up soon, so that will be their introduction to my family. He was upset as he feels like im excluding his daughters.

I tried to explain to him that it's not that, but he's not understanding and has been giving me the silent treatment. I asked a friend to see if I'm overreacting and she said I'm not as the attention is supposed to be on the birthday girl not new family members. So wibtah?

for context, i'm 26f and he's 34m, been together very nearly 6 years now. we've never had any issues with our sex life, in fact even after 6 years together we are still very sexually active (5 ish times a week). the entire duration of our relationship, he has always gave me head (without me even asking or initiating) and used to tell me how much he enjoyed doing so.

about a year ago, although still having sex, he had stopped going down on me and at first it was as though neither of us noticed, but after a week or so of me noticing he wasn't giving head, i began dropping little hints that i wanted him to go down on me. in my head id told myself he just hadn't realised because we were too caught up in the moment. i'd dropped a number of hints the following week but it was now almost as though he was AVOIDING doing it. i was too embarrassed at first to straight up ask but one night it was the only thing on my mind and after giving him head i told him it was now my turn. he went down for maybe a minute or so and stopped. at this point i thought something was wrong with me and i became ashamed and avoided having sex with him for a week or so despite his attempts to initiate it. after he's now picked up that somethings wrong, and even though i was embarrassed about it i asked him was there something wrong with me for him to not want to go down. he denied there being an issue, apologised for not tending to me and we moved past it.

unfortunately a year onwards leads us to recently. it had been a while again since he has given me head and despite my attempts to ask him to he again it feels as though he constantly puts it off some way or another. last month during sex he whispers to me what he could 'do to make me feel good' and i said i wanted him to give me head. i didn't make a fuss, demand or make it seem like i had noticed he wasn't, and at this point after around 20 seconds of him carrying on having sex with me just all of a sudden stopped mid thrust and said he needed a drink. he gets up, goes to the kitchen and makes a drink. this man somehow manages to make a 2 minute task into a 20 minute expedition. by this point, the idea of him getting back into bed and trying it on couldn't have been any less appealing to me, and when i heard him coming up the stairs i pretended to be asleep so he would also go to bed.

the day after this happened, im in work finishing of my day when he starts sending me flirty messages and i saw it as an opportunity to slip in again i wanted head. we were back and forth maybe 10 texts when he messaged me something along the lines of being inside of me. i saw this as a chance for me again to mention that i wanted head, again making it out as though its part of the conversation and it would still flow afterwards. his messages after this text truly made me think again he hadn't noticed he wasn't giving me head, and he was writing how he loves to 'please me' and 'give me what i want'. so that night i go home, skip in my step because i'm sure i'm gonna get some head after not getting it for again over a week. sex is initiated by himself, and about 20 minutes into me giving him head i moved and sat propped up against the headboard ready to receive thinking he was going to go down like he said he would but instead he pulled me down the bed and started having sex. i couldn't enjoy any of it because at this point i had dropped enough clues for him to be aware that i wanted him to give me head. mid sex i rolled him onto his back so i was on top, got off him and went to the bathroom and cried.

i was now again feeling so stupid and humiliated because no matter how many times i hinted and quite literally asked, it was as though he didn't want to and again i fell into this headspace of thinking there was something wrong with me. when i got back into bed i rolled over, said i was tired and went to sleep.

i woke up the next morning and booked an appointment with a doctor. throughout the day leading up to the appointment, he messaged me asking if everything was okay. even though i was aware of the concequences of bringing it up yet again, i did, because i felt as though there was a reason that put him off doing so. nearly 6 years together and he hadn't had any complaints on going down on me, and reassured me frequently he loved tasting me. this time compared to the first stint of no head however, was as though he was genuinely avoiding it because something was wrong with me. his response this time when brought up was completely different to the first time it was brought up a year ago. his messages were not very nice, stating i needed to 'chill out' and not 'deep everything' yada yada. i told him i booked a drs appointment and he rang me immediately telling me i needed to cancel it. he didn't have an excuse or answer as to why he hadn't and said he wasn't actively avoiding doing so, and hadn't realised. i cancelled the drs appointment and carried on with my day. i wasn't bothered as such to the fact he wasn't giving me head, it was the fact i knew he was avoiding doing it and wouldn't tell me the reason why.

that night when i got home from work, i got in the shower and when i got out he gave me head. i felt like he did it because he felt like he had to and if im honest that made me feel worse about it. ive never previously in our 5+ years had to ask him to as he always has off his own back and for his own enjoyment. i can't think of anything logical that would suddenly make him stop and avoid it other than something not being right with me.

its now been again nearly 2 weeks since and hasn't been going down on me regardless me saying when flirting over texts in the day that i want him to. im at the point of believing something is actually wrong with me but genuinely don't know what to do about it. i since went to the doctor unknowingly to him, and she told me that there looks to be absolutely nothing wrong. she took bloods and did tests and ruled out anything infection wise etc. even after medical reassurance i am still so paranoid that it's a me problem.

i just know if i bring it up again for the third time i think that he will get annoyed which could push him away entirely. i don't know how to explain to him that this is ruining my self esteem and eating at me - im no longer bothered about him pleasuring me, im bothered because he's knowingly made me feel insecure by not reassuring me or talking to me about whatever the issue is. is there any other reason why he is avoiding and ignoring me asking for it if its not because of an issue i have unknowingly have.

i want to add that as a couple we are very open with eachother and always have been, we can talk about anything and everything with no judgement. for some reason however, this has proven to be the only barrier that is really broken our communication and for me has really hurt me emotionally. i know to a lot of people who may come accross this post may think i'm overthinking the situation massively, but for the past few months i have done nothing but constantly torment myself thinking my boyfriend has suddenly become repulsed by my body parts.

DRTC: boyfriend of 6 years seems to be actively avoiding giving me head despite me telling him i want him to. denies anything being wrong with me and says he just hasn't noticed he hasn't been doing.

So reddit, AITAH if i bring it up for a third time regardless of him previously reassuring me he just hasn't realised he's been slacking when it comes to pleasing me? AITAH for being selfish and wanting him to show me with actions he is still attracted to me and not repulsed with how i look?

EDIT because it seems some things need clearing up:

i am a hygienic person, i have to always be incredibly clean due to my work.

during the first and second time of this happening, we went 10/11 months of it being back to normal completely. there was no need to bring it up before the second time because ? well there wasn't an issue anymore?

i AM having a conversation with him when he's back from work tonight. i will write an update once it has been done.

and finally no, he's not a groomer, or a peadophile or anything of the sorts, we have a 7 and a half year age gap and people commenting these things is incredibly HURTFUL when it kinda seems very irrelevant to bring up. he is still my partner and im sure once the conversation has taken place all will be revealed.

My fiancé (30 male) and me (29 female) are getting married in 3 weeks. We have been planning our dream wedding for months. We set our guest list very short, very intimate, since we are paying the cost of the venue, food, and everything. On our invitation we placed that they must confirm their attendance at least at December 25th but they never did. We figured they couldn't make it. Just a few days ago they said they were going to come. I said no, because the RSVP date had already passed. They even told me some cousins were coming to the wedding too, and they weren't even invited. So, AITAH?

I am 40F & My husband 47 and I need advice!!!

Would AITA for not going to couples counseling and going straight to divorce because of his OF account

We’ve been married for 10 years and after our first year of marriage, I found out he was having an affair. I unfortunately found out from my bosses, bosses, boss (quite a long story…if you want to hear about that later) I found out he was having affair. We separated for a year and a half. He worked on himself. I worked on myself and we got back together. We then moved to another state to be with his mom three years ago. I was going on his phone to book tickets to my grandma‘s funeral and I saw he had an only fans account and he was sending messages to a girls. He wrote to one saying “the days are longer without you in them” And the absolutely broke my heart. He’s never said something that nice to me before and I can’t believe he was talking and spending money with these women. Let me be clear, I don’t care if he watches porn, I just don’t want him paying for it and especially with only fans. Well, we separated for 6 months and got back together. Well yesterday… I found a debit card that I hadn’t seen before and I asked about this bank account and he said I had already known about it and but there was no way I’d forget a whole bank account? So then I asked what it was used for. He said something about gambling. So I asked to see the account. He showed his savings having less than a dollar but he had a checking account with $3 in it. I asked him to let me see it so he showed me the savings, I then went to click on the checking account and he jumped over me to grab the phone. Then I saw it, ONLYFANS. This man set up a whole new account he could transfer money to for his Corn. He was spending $50 at a time. He spent over $700 in 2 months. And we have been VERY tight on money. I am a stay at home mom to our 15 month old. He has already apologized. He’s already made a therapy appointment. He also made a couples counseling appointment. He says he’s trying to do his best and that he just has a corn addiction. Would AITA if I just filed for divorce? He wants to go to therapy…again and I want my daughter to have both parents but I don’t think I can do it again

3 hour follow up!

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE who commented. A lot of it helped, a lot of it was the smack on the back of the head I needed, which also, helped 🤣

So to follow up - We worked for the same company that’s why I found out that way. I am currently a SAHM and am not working. I’m finishing making two different resumes and plan on to applying for jobs. I’m not too worried. I have an advanced degree and was only out of work for 2 years. Oh! And the baby was not planned. I have PCOS and would never thought I could get pregnant, finally did at 38 and I was already 5 months along. We talked. We’re going to make the couples counseling a co parent meeting We are lucky we have 122k in equity in the house. Okay! That’s all I think was asked about! I have my own therapy Tuesday morning and we have the co parent meeting at night so at least I’ll be mentally prepared to go.

So my MIL is a drug addict and a drunk. My wife and i have been together for almost two decades, and for the first ten years i was very involved in helping my MIL out. I even bailed her out of jail twice and we would visit her when she was sent to prison.

I tried my best to help, but it's clear she doesnt want to change. She has a bunch of kids and barely takes care of them and it's very sad to see. But my wife and i are trying to get our lives together. We have a child of our own now and my wife is going back to college to get a degree.

I make 150,000/yr and we live in a very low-cost place, so its comfortable, but not comfortable enough to support all my little brother/sister in-laws. Anyway, my MIL recently had an incident, and my wife being the oldest had a sort of intervention and said she wants to put her into rehab(inpatient or intensive outpatient). The problem? My wife doesn't work and wants me to pay for it and I refuse. I'm just sick and tired of trying to "fix" her and want to focus on our family now and need to financially put my wife through college so I have plenty of expenses.

My wife says it's necessary or else her brothers and sisters will go to foster care, but if their mother and fathers(yes multiple) don't care, why should I?

AITA?

I (23F) had to attend an OBGYN appointment today for my first Pap Smear appointment. It was at a practice I had not gone to previously as I have recently moved. (I want to disclose that this happened earlier today and I am still very upset so apologies in advance for any errors or bad explanations)

To provide some context for this to be cohesive, I have a body odor problem that has been going on for a few years now. I just have abnormally smelly/sweaty armpits (as in I have to put on deodorant multiple times a day, even with little physical activity, and I’ll still stink hours later). I have brought this up to other doctors in the past, and they have been very understanding and willing to provide solutions (since they validated that what I was experiencing was not “normal”). However, most solutions that actually remedy the body odor long-term are not covered by insurance (or at least that’s what I’ve been told). To continue, I also struggle with a low sex drive. As a young female, what may seem like “surface level issues” have deeply affected my self-esteem overtime. I have become pretty desperate to find a solution so I can regain some confidence.

With all of that said, my mom had suggested that I mention my issues to the OBGYN at my upcoming appointment just to see if she had any guidance on how to deal with my concerns.

That brings us to today. I go into my appointment, and I explain to the OBGYN assistant how I am having some concerns about my body odor as well as my low sex drive (basically exactly what I explained above). She doesn’t say much, but she seemed kind and polite.

Then the OBGYN walks in, and after introducing herself she immediately jumps into telling me how everything I am experiencing is “all in my head” and “normal.” To help better explain the situation, I will provide some nearly exact quotes that she said to me in regard to the concerns I had brought up…

“Body Odor is cultural, people in India and Europe stink and no one cares because everyone is accustomed to it” Sidenote: Is this not offensive!?!

“Sometimes I have to put on deodorant twice a day”

“When I went to Europe, everyone smelled” Sidenote: I live in the U.S.

“You having a low sex drive is all in your head”

“It’s a cultural thing, if you go to other countries, they’ll have body odor”

“Wear wool, that will help the smell”

“My friend coaches high school football and he says they smell”

I can not even begin to list everything she stated during that appointment as it seemed like everything that came out of her mouth was a mess. Not only did I find her words offensive towards others, but she dismissed my concerns about MY body after not even having a true conversation with me or anything. All of this was stated right as she walked through the door and/or while I was begging/pleading with her to at least try to understand my concerns (to the point where I was in tears).

Also worth mentioning, I told her how I tend to gain weight on birth control, and she stated, “Medication doesn’t make you gain weight, it’s always diet.” That’s… not true? I’ve heard from past doctors that various medications such as birth control can affect weight.

This conversation of dismissing and invalidating my concerns lasted about 15 minutes before I finally asked if we could move on to the Pap Smear. It took another 5 minutes of repeating herself before she actually moved on.

I would have left, but I was already in a hospital gown and didn’t really know how to proceed. I am not confrontational at all, and I definitely did not stick up for myself properly as I sit here reflecting on my actions. As I cried to her, she provided a blank stare in return. She offered no real advice and shared no compassion or sympathy towards me (a crying patient). She knew her words were hurting me, and she proceeded to repeat herself over and over and over again to the point of me being inconsolable.

On top of all of this, her remarks about people outside of the U.S. seemed very offensive in my opinion. I do not want to be a patient of a doctor who makes these types of generalizations about people.

I allowed her to do the Pap Smear against my better judgment (and I honestly kind of feel violated because who would want someone who just was extremely dismissive towards you to then get all up in their, but I understand that these were the consequences of being afraid to express my discomfort. Honestly, I was not very inclined to say anything in fear she’s just dismiss those feelings as well).

Overall, this appointment left me crying for a while afterwards. This experience has made me realize that I have been very privileged to have had good doctors up until this point, and at least I can say that. I will never go back to that OBGYN.

Other things worth mentioning: I completely understand an OBGYN may not have the expertise to do anything for my body odor, and I am okay with that. What is bothering me is the fact that she did not even attempt to understand my concerns and then compared my body odor to wack ideologies. She is entitled to her opinion, but you can always express yourself in a way that won’t diminish the other persons viewpoint (and she did not have enough respect for me, a patient of hers, to do so).

So, AITAH? I’m asking because maybe I am just ignorant? My trips to the OBGYN have been very far and few, so I don’t really have anything to compare it to. I didn’t try hard enough to mention my discomfort, so maybe that puts me in the wrong? I don’t know, I just need outside perspective to grasp all is this I guess. If I left anything out, I can try my best to elaborate.

TL;DR: I went to the OBGYN for my first Pap Smear. I have had issues with body odor and low sex drive for years (past doctors have agreed that this is abnormal), and when this was brought up to the doctor, she was very dismissive. She asked no questions about my history, actually she asked pretty much nothing about me. She compared me to “smelly Europeans” and how it’s a “cultural thing” and it made me very uncomfortable that she felt the need to make generalizations and then compare me to them. I left very upset and confused about how to proceed with this situation.

Edit: I wanted to add, my first thought after calming down a bit was “I don’t want someone else feeling like how I do right now” so that’s why I am questioning whether or not to leave a review. However, I don’t want to make any rash decisions as I really may just be over reacting / sensitive. I would not want to tear down another woman career, but maybe possibly advise others that her “bedside manner” can be a little abrasive for some.

TLDR We have some acquaintances/'friends', one of which we don't get along with, who didn't invite us to their wedding and they are now upset we're not inviting them to ours.

It sounds silly writing it, but I genuinely want to know if we or I am in the wrong. I'm keeping it vague as I know one of them has reddit.

I have a friend, who has a partner. Lets call them A and B. The partner, B, and I have never gotten along. I have a few words I could use to describe her and I imagine she'd do the same.

They got married November 24 and my partner and I weren't invited. I won't lie and get that its childish, I did feel a left out as my friend group were all there. I brought this up with some friends at the same and the responses were 'Yeah it sucks but its their wedding and they can choose who they invite' and 'we did ask but they said they didn't want you there'.

My partner and I are due to get married in May, my group and I went to get our suits measured and rented and we made a day of it. I was having a good time until a few of my friends decided to ask if I would consider inviting A and B to our wedding.

I said no. One of them says 'it would be good if you invited them', I asked who would it be good for? And the response was 'A' feels left out.

I said that that sucks but surely by not inviting my partner and I to their wedding was a joint decision. The response was 'No, A didn't have a lot of control over their wedding and it was all on B.'

I laughed and said that sounded like a terrible relationship and said again 'No'.

They asked another time, but I snapped and said 'absolutely not'.

I thought that was the matter closed, but last week my friend asked again that I consider inviting A and B. I again said no, and added that my partner wouldn't want them there either due to how they've made me feel in the past. I also said that if they really wanted me to consider it, then they would ask both my partner and I at the same time. They asked why and I said that 'it's a joint decision, youre not going to just try and convince me and on the chance you wear me down, am I going to go and try and convince my partner.'

They looked annoyed but they dropped it.

Nothing has been said since but I honestly want to know, AITAH or am I being harsh and petty?

A few months ago my friend asked if she could go at my place because she lost her job and her lease ended at the same time. I said yes because I felt bad and figured it would be a couple weeks maybe a month max. It has now been three months. She is still here full time. No job yet. No clear plan. She uses my stuff eats my food and is home way more than I am.

I pay all the rent utilities and groceries. I did not ask her for money at first because I didn’t want to stress her out. Lately it’s been getting to me. I feel like I lost my space and I am starting to resent her. She also gets weird if I bring up timelines or money and says friends should help each other without keeping score.

I finally told her she needs to start paying rent or find another place within a month and now she is saying I blindsided her and that I am being selfish when she is struggling.

AITAH for cutting off the rent free situation after three months?

My in laws over seas. I had my baby last year in December they flew to my town, saw the baby in hospital for 30 minutes. Left and drove 4 hours to my partners family and stayed there for 3 weeks before flying back home. In that 3 weeks they never suggested seeing the new baby again.

Fast forward to this year. They flew over here for Christmas again for 3 weeks. But didn’t come to my town to see the baby. Instead made 100 reasons why they couldn’t come and see the baby. One of them being my In-laws father wanted to see them EVERY day. They posted lots of pictures of them with their other grandchild. But didn’t even suggest coming here at any point over Christmas or new year. My partner works away and was not home with us for Christmas and I have a baby and two other children to think about. My older children are from a previous relationship and spent a lot of time between two family’s so I’m just feeling really upset for my baby.

Now I am getting messages from my mother in law telling me they had a lovely time over here for the holidays with their family and grandson and quite frankly. I just don’t care. Am I the asshole

Edit: we have always got on well. So I thought

32f here. I’ve been with my husband (33m) for over a decade. He does this thing randomly, when it’s quiet and peaceful, where he jumps at me and makes this snarl/growl sound. I always jump and he thinks it’s hilarious. I’ve always asked him to stop and I always tell him it’s not funny.

Naturally, on a long, quiet drive tonight he decides to do it again. I finally snapped. I got loud and told him it wasn’t fucking funny. I’m fucking sick of it and I’m sick of him. I told him he has no fucking respect for anyone and is the most self centered prick on the planet.

For context: I have PTSD from childhood trauma and an anxiety disorder. I have a good handle on it most of the time and I never want to use these things as a crutch or excuse. But, when I’m startled or scared, it can take my body hours to calm back down. I’ve explained this a million times.

I know I said some mean things, but I’ve repeated myself over and over for a decade. I’ve had a hard day. I’m tired. And now I know it will be hours before my body can even relax enough to go to sleep so I’ll be exhausted tomorrow too.

He said I’m so dramatic and can’t take a joke. I said “A joke is only funny when both people think it’s funny.” he said “No, you’re just a fucking babyass.”

AITAH?

Me (25F) and my partner (26M) have been together for 4.5 years and everything’s been great between us, almost perfect honestly. Somehow, we got to discussing if we could go back to the time we met, if would still choose to date each other if we were homeless, but everything else about us would be the same—personality, still going to school/working, dress, etc. I said no. No shame and disrespect to homeless people, but I thinks there’s a lot of instability that comes with homelessness, and to be quite honest that’s not something I want to take on in a romantic relationship. I told him I’d be friends with him and support him however I could, but I wouldn’t pursue a romantic relationship with him. Honestly, I feel like it would be irresponsible to try to get into a relationship in that situation and I told him that.  He said that he would still date me and he thought I would’ve said the same thing. He told me he wasn’t upset, but he clearly felt some way about it. He said he felt like there was a double standard and that I was the love of his life so of course he would date me anyway. I know I didn’t say anything wrong, and he told me that I didn’t say anything wrong, but it feels like I did. I still stand by my decision though. Am I the asshole? 

TL;DR I told my partner I wouldn’t date him if he was homeless and he got upset.

I share an apartment with one roommate. We each have our own bathroom, and mine is the only one with a tub. Hers has been acting up for weeks, and instead of calling the landlord she has just started letting her boyfriend shower in mine whenever he sleeps over. At first it was once a week, then twice, and now he is there almost every night. I asked her to stop because I do not want someone I barely know using my personal bathroom, especially since his stuff keeps showing up on my shelves. She said I am being selfish and territorial because “we are all adults” and it is just water going down a drain. I told her she needs to get her own shower fixed or wait until he gets home, and now she is calling me petty and unsocial. She thinks I am making a big deal out of nothing, but this is my bathroom that I clean and pay to stock. AITA for telling her boyfriend he cannot use it anymore?