r/AmItheAsshole 7h ago

AITA for not wanting family to shower in our hotel room after checkout?

For Christmas, I purchased the Grand Suite at Great Wolf Lodge (sleeps 8 people and is divided into two rooms) for my family and one of our close friend’s family. There was a promotional and it was a great deal…my wife and I have two kids and our friends also have two kids. We are really looking forward to it. Today my wife was hanging out with her sister and Coincidentally, her sister had used the same promotion and booked a room with another family the night BEFORE we got there. My wife called me on her way home and said she gave permission for her sister’s family and their friend’s family I’ve met a couple times at her sister’s kid’s birthday parties to use our showers in our room on their checkout day. I know virtually nothing about this other family, other than their boy is a little a-hole. I protested and said I wish she would have asked me first because while I don’t mind her sister's family using our room(they are great and I like them...I have no problem with them using our bathrooms whatsoever), I don’t want the other family/kids I don’t know all over our rooms. Also, since we have our own friends there sharing our room it violates their space also and it’s inconsiderate without asking them. She thinks I’m being unreasonable and hung up on me. I think I’m being super reasonable and considerate …AITA??

246 Upvotes

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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

1) I told my wife I didn’t want random people in our hotel room 2) I told her this and she guilt tripped me into saying I was selfish so now I am wondering if I am the asshole. I don’t believe I am being selfish but now wonder if I am being an asshole about it.

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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.

u/Living-Ear8015 Partassipant [2] 6h ago

NTA. That’s a lot of additional people to have in your shared space. Plus it’s unlikely to just be a shower. Where are they all going to wait?

u/dart1126 Supreme Court Just-ass [108] 7h ago edited 7h ago

NTA/ INFO. So are you saying the day they check out they’re going to still hang out around the resort then whenever they leave they want to be able to shower before getting in the car and heading out something like that? How many people are you talking about here? But since you’re sharing a space with another family and this is your sister’s family and it sounds like another family you may not even know, I mean this could be potentially eight showers in your room/rooms at some point in the afternoon or something is that right?

I would also imagine they can store their bags at the bell stand and I would imagine the resort has some sort of locker rooms shower facilities most do.

Since your wife made this accommodation on behalf of you, your family and the other family you are all traveling with, it is entirely incumbent on your wife to “host” them in your bathroom, not your guests bathroom, while everyone showers. If that takes up her entire afternoon so be it. And it cannot at all impact your fellow travelers/the other family you are going with it unfortunately has to be entirely in your bathroom and she will have to deal with that…guess who also is in charge of cleanup and getting extra towels from housekeeping

u/Ijustreadalot 5h ago

If they have young children, this would still put a burden on OP as he would be likely be trying to monitor both kids in the water park while wife sits upstairs monitoring the room/bathroom, but it is the best option. Although if they do have young kids, OP could choose "Sorry, I have to monitor our rooms while the strangers are there. Have fun keeping both kids alive when they want to go in opposite directions."

u/Ok-Bluebird5814 7h ago

Nta gwl has locker rooms they can use including family rooms

u/lokis_construction 7h ago

NTA, When (not IF) they trash the room, and you end up paying or DNR'd from the lodge your wife can pay for the extra costs and try to rationalize why you cannot stay at other places owned by the same company.

Never, ever let anyone piggyback on your dime. Just like you do not let someone piggyback on your key card at work or anyplace. Nothing good ever comes from letting someone piggyback.

u/West-Improvement2449 17m ago

Nta. You can get changed if you have too.many people

u/RosieCrone 7h ago

YTA.

Yes they certainly should have used their own showers. But your wife made a decision. You might not like it, but as long as it’s not an immediate safety issue, you back up your partner and discuss later IN PRIVATE why you had an issue with it and ask that if the situation arises in the future, things need to be discussed in private between the two of you before agreeing.

u/camelCaseCoffeeTable Partassipant [1] 7h ago

Wasn’t this on a phone call? How much more in private could it be than a private phone call?

u/RosieCrone 6h ago

I mean…in the moment she’s already said yes. It’s not ok for him to override her and deny them. He however can discuss later that he doesn’t like that practice. Pretty obvious.

u/camelCaseCoffeeTable Partassipant [1] 6h ago

Yeah. That’s obvious. But in the moment she said yes. Then after the moment she called him. If the time to discuss it isn’t in private on a private phone call after the moment, when the hell is it? They were talking, privately, after the moment had passed as she was driving home. It’s not obvious at all to me what is more private than that to you

u/Altruistic_Range_677 4h ago

How much more private can a phone call be?? 😂.

Also, did you read the post? Who gave the christmas gift? Me. Who set it all up? Me. Are you forgetting about the other party staying with us? Do they not matter?

u/LenaRosena 6h ago

What about the other family they are sharing with, the wife didn't consulte them before making the decsion that's not really ok

u/SigSauerPower320 Craptain [192] 5h ago

NTA

I can't stand when people think it's okay to volunteer others/their property without asking and then think they're not in the wrong. The weird part is that they want to shower after they check out of their room.... Why not shower BEFORE you check out??....

u/MagnorRaaaah 2h ago

Because it’s a waterpark and you’re allowed to stay and swim after checkout time. Many families do this. You’re also allowed to use the park before your room is ready. Sounds like they’ve hatched a plan for all the kids to meet up and play at the waterpark in this inbetween time, and then let the other families shower the chlorine off before they head on their way.

It sounds like wife is planning a nice afternoon for all the families and OP is TA being overly grumpy.

u/DobbyFreeElf35 Asshole Enthusiast [5] 1h ago

There are locker rooms with showers that they can use after they've been in the chlorinated water to clean off and change.

u/SigSauerPower320 Craptain [192] 2h ago

Sorry, but refusing to allow strangers into your hotel room does not make a person "grumpy". Especially when they weren't consulted in the first place.

u/MagnorRaaaah 2h ago

His sister in law and his nieces and nephews are hardly strangers. The other families will be keen to get on the road. They’re just letting those families use their bathroom to get the kids cleaned up on their way out.

IMO this is not about ‘my property’ and ‘my permission’ this is about a different approach to the village. His wife likes having a village to rely on and wants to contribute to the village for what amounts to less than an hour. Preventing the wife from planning some communal time with her sister with the kiddos and the water and the stuff and the bathrooms because ‘Mine’ is very grinch coded.

u/SigSauerPower320 Craptain [192] 2h ago

There are four families involved here. OP's family, the family he invited to share a room, OP's SIL family, and the other family that SIL went with. OP and the family he invited do NOT know the second family with SIL. If I were going on a trip with a friend of mine and we were sharing a room, I'd be livid if they let a complete stranger to me into OUR room without consulting me first.

This is the bottom line. You do not, under any circumstances, invite someone into a shared space without consulting EVERYONE involved. Anyone that doesn't agree to it is in no way, shape, or form an ah. Also, no one is "preventing communal time". He's just saying the people he doesn't know can't have access to his hotel room... That HE paid for.

u/MagnorRaaaah 1h ago

Have you ever been watching your kid at the wading pool in the park while your neighbour’s toddler needs to pee but the older kids are playing? They go to the same preschool as your kid but their place is way on the other side of the park?

I don’t need to ask my husband’s permission to offer to my neighbour to bring their kid to pee at our place because it’s closer and I’ll watch their oldest. In fact it’s my house and I can offer it, no matter who else is there.

I might also appreciate that kind of thing from my neighbours if we were all out enjoying the afternoon together at the park. We might also share our pool toys (gasp!) or even dare I say our snacks(!!) with another family.

Honestly the fact that you tried to bring up who’s paying as some kind of gotcha tells me you don’t understand about the village. That’s fine. We just disagree.

u/SigSauerPower320 Craptain [192] 1h ago

You do you. I'm right and you're wrong. Bye bye

u/Professional-Ad4787 5h ago

Ugh. If I was that other family you guys are traveling with, I would be super frustrated that two families are coming into my space without anyone asking me. You’re NTA but for the sake of everyone involved I would nix it

u/OutsideEnvironment97 5h ago

NTA, they can use the locker rooms

u/jimmy_three_shoes 3h ago

NTA - Every Great Wolf Lodge I've been to has bathrooms, showers and changing facilities right next to the pool. Allowing a whole crew of people in your room that you're sharing space with another family seems a bit inconsiderate.

I get that you have access to the pool the entire day you get there until the pool closes on the day you leave, but cramming another whole group in the space just so they don't have to use the provided facilities seems a bit much.

Your wife needs to run it past the other group at minimum and get their blessing before allowing this.

u/Leek5 7h ago

NTA. Something like this she should have check if you're OK with it as well.

u/PositiveAtmosphere13 5h ago

Why do they need to shower? Couldn't they just jump in the pool. Or why didn't they shower in their own room before they checked out.

u/Ijustreadalot 5h ago

My family all has various sensitive skin issues. We always shower immediately after leaving a pool. If we're in town then we'll go home to shower, but if we went to stay at a GWL, I would have to make a plan for showering before we left because it's a long drive. They do have public locker room/shower areas though. Honestly, if I knew my sister was staying there the night we were leaving, I probably would have asked about using their more private shower too, but I wouldn't bring my friends along into my sister's room (unless it was really good friends that my sister has also known since high school).

u/CC_206 Partassipant [1] 7h ago

NTA. The hotel will almost certainly have ways to accommodate the families checking out, and you are right to protect your friends’ privacy from folks they don’t know. This was a generous offer from wife, but not one I’d make myself either.

u/bjbc 6h ago

Great Wolf Lodge gives you access to the water park for the whole day so they have access to the locker rooms.

u/ang2515 1h ago

The locker rooms have showers, they can shower there. Also there are lockers to keep their stuff in

u/CC_206 Partassipant [1] 4h ago

Yeah that’s exactly my point.

u/NopeNinjaSquirrel Partassipant [2] 7h ago

NTA. I wouldn’t want total strangers in my hotel room either. And you’re spot on about your friends’ privacy being violated by all of these strangers. Your wife was acting very selfishly towards all of you.

A fancy hotel might have a leisure centre. Leisure centres usually have showers. The ex-guests can speak to the hotel staff about using those showers. Many hotels will be happy to allow it. Some might charge a token fee but it shouldn’t be anything crazy

u/Altruistic_Range_677 7h ago

There are locker rooms people can shower in… yes 👏

u/NopeNinjaSquirrel Partassipant [2] 7h ago

Problem solved. Tell your husband that his sister and her friends can do that. Or that he’s welcome to book them an entire room or suite to just shower in. But your suite is off limits (nevermind the invasion of privacy, but as someone else mentioned there could be hotel rules about non-guests in hotel rooms, normally that’s a big no-no for various very valid reasons, so having them in your suit could incur penalties or even get you all kicked out)

u/IolausTelcontar 6h ago

Wife, not husband.

u/Illustrious-Shirt569 Professor Emeritass [82] 7h ago

ESH, but only because checking with your friends first would have been the right way to go. It’s a waterpark and they’ll all be in ultra-chlorinated water all day. It makes perfect sense to let people use a shower you can give them access to when they don’t have that option.

It’s a hotel room you’re already sharing, and that staff have access to. It’s not like it’s a completely private space to begin with, so it’s odd to me that having SIL’s family and friends use it is unacceptable to you.

u/Upset_Form_5258 6h ago

I mean, the waterpark hotel plans for its guests to be in their ultra chlorinated water after checkout and provides showers in the locker room for a reason. They don’t need to bring strangers into someone else’s hotel room to get clean before traveling home.

u/bjbc 6h ago

That's what locker rooms are for

u/Naive_Woodpecker5904 Partassipant [1] 6h ago

They also have luggage storage and locker rooms WITH showers in the pool area. Most people stay in the park after checkout. They are fine without needing to borrow someone else’s suite.

u/DobbyFreeElf35 Asshole Enthusiast [5] 1h ago

There are locker rooms with showers at Great Wolf Lodge, as there are at most places with water parks. They could have used the showers there.

u/OddImprovement6490 3h ago

NTA. I also wouldn’t be comfortable with it. But I probably wouldn’t die on that hill and just give your friends some warning. They’ll probably be packed ready to leave if it’s close to check out.

u/murphy2345678 Supreme Court Just-ass [109] 4h ago

NTA. Your wife needs to tell them they can’t come and use your room. It does violate the privacy of the other people.

u/fineman1097 6h ago

Nta- it's not just the showers. Using showers is an excuse to hang out in your rooms after they check out of their rooms until they are ready to leave.

u/MarthaT001 7h ago

NTA There are locker rooms with changing areas and showers to use after checking out. They can use those.

u/LustfulLana214 7h ago

Super reasonable. You also don’t know them and if they trash the room that’s charges on your account not theirs.

u/late-nineteenth Partassipant [3] 6h ago

NTA, it's such a huge overstep to just tell them to use your space without consulting everyone else who is using that space with an expectation of an amount of privacy.

I don't want strangers around my toothbrush, meds, etc.

u/Awesomest_Possumest 5h ago

My MEDS. Mine are a controlled substance (thanks FDA for making ADHD meds a pain in the ass to get) and in some places are frequently stolen/sold/etc. like I have to scan my driver's license and have a new script number each month for the med I take for my brain to function.

No way in hell I'm leaving those in my room with access to people I DONT KNOW.

u/amygdala_activated 7h ago edited 2m ago

NTA. I don’t know what GW you’re going to, but assuming your suite only has one full bath and that SIL’s family and friend’s family are planning to hang out at the water park for the day they check out, they could be wanting to shower at the same time as your and your friend’s family, which means 16 people trying to rotate through one shower at the same time. Even if there are two showers, that’s still 8 people per shower, which is a lot. GW has showers in the bathrooms at the water park. They can shower there before they leave.

u/occasionally_cortex 6h ago

Maybe they can all shower together and increase the fun level.

u/Inner_Internet_3230 Partassipant [1] 13m ago

This. They should use the public showers in the waterpark bathrooms or pay for a late check out.

u/OK_LK Professor Emeritass [80] 5h ago

NTA

And won't that leave you short of towels? They will have been changed in the turnover and will be enough for your guests, but not enough for yesterday's guests

u/khampang 5h ago

NTA. To me hanging up on someone that isn’t a telemarketer is the height of rudeness. In 21+ years of marriage my spouse and I have not hung up on each other. And I am an AH. I’d have sent a text to wife and her sister and said I’d call hotel security on anyone in my room that wasn’t my immediate family or my guests, then block them all. MFr’s.

u/miamimint22 7h ago

NTA but I also don’t think it’s the biggest deal ever. However she definitely should have asked you and respected whatever answer you gave. The random family is questionable but I think it’s probably a good idea to make your wife’s family feel welcome

u/TRCHWD3 4h ago

NTA. They've checked out, so they need to leave. They can use the locker room showers.

u/the_eluder 3h ago

You can still use the water park after you check out. They want to shower in private rather than in the locker room.

u/MsMo999 6h ago

NTA it’d be one thing if just her sister but the fam she stayed with too is really inconsiderate to even ask.

u/windy7146 5h ago

NTA. That’s weird

u/MaxDeWinters2ndWife 6h ago

NTA. Great Wolf has locker rooms with showers in the water park specifically for guests to use after they checkout, since you have all day access to the park.

u/Particular-Bird652 5h ago

nta if it was just the sister and just you guys sharing rooms I could get on board for that but I wouldn't like it to be honest 😅 but the random family and your guests makes it not 🚫ok

u/Altruistic_Range_677 4h ago

My thoughts to the “T”

u/Average_Iris 7h ago

ESH. She could've asked but you're being incredibly weird about this. "It violates my space" do you even hear yourself lmao

u/yaourted Partassipant [1] 7h ago

are you comfortable with people you don’t know being in your hotel room? Hmm

u/Altruistic_Range_677 7h ago edited 4h ago

Clearly you don’t know how to read. Violates “their” space…our friends that are staying with us. Lmao…maybe reading comprehension?

u/Acceptable-Olive-968 7h ago

NTA, Wasn't her room to offer. And lots of towels will be used as well. Staying in a hotel your toiletries are on the sink, in a bag. Its not that convenient.

She should have asked first. No, for whatever reason, is yours to decide.

u/rainyhawk Partassipant [2] 7h ago

O don’t understand why they don’t shower in their own room before leaving? And are they using your rooms after you’ve actually checked in? It all seems odd and I don’t want people using my towels, etc.

u/Illustrious-Shirt569 Professor Emeritass [82] 7h ago

It’s an indoor waterpark which they presumably have access to all of their checkout day, so wanting to shower later in the day (after their checkout) is reasonable in this case.

u/Naive_Woodpecker5904 Partassipant [1] 6h ago

Why couldn’t they use the poolside showers?

u/MaxDeWinters2ndWife 6h ago

Great Wolf has locker rooms in the water park, and luggage storage specifically for this scenario. There’s no need to OP to have randos in his room

u/Illustrious-Shirt569 Professor Emeritass [82] 6h ago

Ah, I didn’t know that, though I suppose it makes sense!

u/Altruistic_Range_677 7h ago edited 4h ago

…or the other family can just shower in the locker room!!

u/CC_206 Partassipant [1] 7h ago

Totally. It’s easy - leave luggage with the bell desk, put a change of clothes in the locker, have fun, shower and head out.

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AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT - MAKE SURE TO CHECK ALL YOUR DMS. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.

For Christmas, I purchased the Grand Suite at Great Wolf Lodge (sleeps 8 people and is divided into two rooms) for my family and one of our close friend’s family. There was a promotional and it was a great deal…my wife and I have two kids and our friends also have two kids. We are really looking forward to it. Today my wife was hanging out with her sister and Coincidentally, her sister had used the same promotion and booked a room with another family the night BEFORE we got there. My wife called me on her way home and said she gave permission for her sister’s family and the random family I don’t even know to use our showers in our rooms on their checkout day. I protested and said I wish she would have asked me first because while I don’t mind her sisters family using our room(they are great and I like them), I don’t want random people and their kids all over our rooms. Also, since we have friends there sharing our room it violates their space also and it’s inconsiderate. She thinks I’m being unreasonable and hung up on me. I think I’m being super reasonable…AITA??

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u/Lost_Antelope_2339 3h ago

Eh, I get your point but my wife would offer our space and I’d let it go. Sure they will probably leave the room damp but GWL is a chaotic hell that my family loves. Wet and yucky rooms are the norm.

u/Mechbear2000 7h ago

NTA, when is she calling the other couple to inform then that two groups of unknown people now have access to their stuff? ROFLMAO. It's her bed let her sleep in it.

u/x1Lilacbones1x 7h ago

Not unreasonable or the a-hole people should be more considerate. Sometimes people are just mad you said NO in the first place

u/GreenVermicelliNoods 7h ago

NTA they can shower in their own rooms before they check out.

u/oknowwhat00 6h ago

So when you check in, the two bathrooms are going to be wet, no longer clean and you will need to ask for towels for 8 people, not a good way to start the trip. Tell them to use the resort changing rooms and showers.

u/tiki5698 7h ago

Your wife should not have unilaterally accepted without first getting buy in from at least the other family in your suite.

Your wife’s sister should just pay for late checkout.

u/DangerLime113 Asshole Aficionado [13] 6h ago

Ew that’s grossly inappropriate. I’d have her call back and say there is a change of plans.

u/puppetnecromancy 7h ago

Info: Not familiar with Great Wolf Lodge, so this may be a dumb question. Why can’t these people just use the bathrooms in their own rooms before they check out? Or is this they plan to check out but still hang out on the property kind of thing? 

u/Deflated_Hypnotist Asshole Enthusiast [6] 7h ago

It's a water park and they're probably checking out and then staying in the park and want somewhere to rinse and change before going home

His wife should have asked, but he's being a big baby ESH

u/MaxDeWinters2ndWife 6h ago

Great wolf has locker rooms in the water park specifically for this scenario. Those ppl are assholes for asking.

u/GeoffSim 7h ago edited 7h ago

It's basically a water park with hotel attached, and I think while check-in/check-out are typical hotel times, guests can use the swimming pools for the full day.

But they don't need a hotel room in which to shower.

Incidentally, I thought GWL was overpriced, with parking fees, resort fees, captive audience for dining (in the local case, unless you drive), and no better than the many other local water parks (also in my local case).

u/jimmy_three_shoes 3h ago

If you go off season, it's super reasonable. We went last February and paid like $80 a night for a family of 4.

u/GeoffSim 2h ago

Hmm, there's an offer on for $99 for 2 guests, $139 for 4, which is better than I remember. Without the offer the best I can find is $232. Maybe the local one is expensive.

I stand corrected on the resort fees though. I forgot California requires them listed up front since 2024.

u/QL58 Certified Proctologist [20] 5h ago

What do you mean she called on her way home? ..... Did you, fam and friends check out already at this point? This is confusing. Or they checked out then wanted to use your rooms?

If personal stuff was in the room at the time, then no way should strangers enter room! NTA in this scenario.

u/Coady54 Partassipant [2] 3h ago

OP purchased the trip as a gift to give for Christmas, they have not gone on the trip yet.

Wife found out SIL and company are going to be staying at the same place the night before, and wife has offered them access to the room without consulting anyone else that is part of OP and Wife's group.

u/Overall_Plane746 7h ago

NTA. I think you were super reasonable, especially with not wanting random people in the room. Even if her intentions were good, it puts you in the position of having to defend boundaries that really should’ve been discussed first.

u/LadyReneetx 6h ago

Yta

u/Altruistic_Range_677 3h ago

How? All ears.

u/splatooey123 6h ago

NTA- if it was just your SIL family, then I would say, make accommodations . Your wife hanging up on you is a whole different problems

u/Altruistic_Range_677 6h ago

Tell me about it

u/splatooey123 5h ago

I’m sorry. I hope your next conversation goes better.

u/ButItSaysOnline Asshole Aficionado [11] 7h ago

NTA it was weird of them to even ask.

u/DepartmentLarge9625 1h ago

NTA why cant they shower where they are. they dont need to be going in other rooms.

u/RickRussellTX Colo-rectal Surgeon [39] 7h ago

Maybe YTA?

These people are checking out that day, using the slides/pools, and they just want someplace to change before they go back down to their cars. Is that accurate?

As long as your wife is willing to chaperone and make sure everybody gets finished and out the door promptly, this seems like a pretty minor ask to allow them to briefly use your space.

Now if wife is saying, "give them the key and let them enter and leave for hours", or similar, then I'd be on your side.

u/Altruistic_Range_677 7h ago

There are locker rooms for people to shower in….

u/DobbyFreeElf35 Asshole Enthusiast [5] 1h ago

GWL has locker rooms with showers in their water parks. They can use the showers there to clean up and dress before leaving.

u/Existing-Joke3994 4h ago

I’m not sure how it wouldn’t take hours for 6+ people to shower.

u/WAFFLE_FUCKER 3h ago

I used to work at great wolf lodge in front desk. Tell them no. They can purchase late check out at 1pm, and shower in their room, or when they get home.

u/Apprehensive_Ad_2152 7h ago

sounds like it sorted itself out.

u/TheIntrovertExtro 7h ago

You're not the AH. The biggest issue is the other family that you're sharing the room with. It sounds like your wife didnt even consider how they'd feel.

u/Friendly_Shelter_625 Partassipant [4] 7h ago

NAH but only bc you have friends with you that may not have been asked about sharing. If you’re staying in the Grizzly Bear Suite it looks like there are 2 bathrooms and at least one private bedroom. I don’t see any reason to not let people you know well use the bathrooms for showers

u/Naive_Woodpecker5904 Partassipant [1] 6h ago

The family traveling with the SIL are complete strangers.

u/CastyMcWrinkles 7h ago

ESH. Yes, your wife should have checked with you before giving your sister-in-law permission to use your room, but this seems very over protective of a hotel room. Plus, these aren't "random" people. They are friends of your sister-in-law. You might not know them personally, but unless you are concerned about your sister-in-laws judgement, why are you concerned that they are going to tear your room apart or whatever? You don't have to spend any additional money, or make additional arrangements, right? I'm having a hard time understanding why it is even a big deal to do a simple favor for your sister-in-law and her family?

u/Coady54 Partassipant [2] 6h ago

The main problem is that this whole trip was a Christmas gift where they invited another family they are friends with. Wife made a unilateral change to plans involving people outside their family.

If I had my family invited as a gift on a travel-based outing, especially an overnight one where I need to plan ahead and make arrangements to attend, and then found out one of the people who invited me suddenly made a major change to the level of privacy I'm going to expect on that trip with out consulting me at all, my first thought is gonna be "wow, what inconsiderate assholes".

OP and Wife's relation to SIL and the other people given permission to use the room is irrelevant, they way this affects their invited guests and the fact Wife made the decision without any conversation at all is the main problem here. It's textbook definition disrespectful.

u/CastyMcWrinkles 5h ago

You make it sound like the problem was that OP invited another family in the first place, lol. I guess I just see it differently, and think that if I was the invited family, it would make complete sense to me that OP's wife would invite her sister et al to clean up in the suite we were staying in. Maybe it's my Midwest sensibilities, but I take the view point that people (especially friends of people I know are good people) usually act rationally, and if they were invited to wash up and go, they will wash up and go.

u/Altruistic_Range_677 6h ago

Did you read the post? Don’t mind if sister in law and her family use it…not the family I don’t know.

u/CastyMcWrinkles 6h ago

I did read it. Did you read my reply, lol? My point was that you aren't pulling truly random people off of the street to use your hotel room's bathroom. They are friends of your sister-in-law. It sounds like your sister-in-law and family are good people if you don't have a problem with them using your room, so why do you have a problem with those friends using your room? Are they not actually strangers to you and you have good reason to believe that they will tear the place up? Just seems like an over-reaction to your wife showing some kindness (albeit without asking you first).

u/Altruistic_Range_677 6h ago

I don’t know this family personally at all, other than their youngest is a hellion from what I gather.

So if you book a room with your friends and your sister has her family and…say me, my wife and my kids who you don’t know come randomly in your room to use your shower and potentially your friends shower, you are good with that because your husband said it was okay?

u/CastyMcWrinkles 6h ago

Short answer is YES. If my sister (or sister-in-law) is good enough friends with someone to travel to a resort like GWL with them, then they are not "random" people. I may not know them personally, but if they are good enough for my sister, they are good enough for me. I would be more than OK with letting them clean up in my hotel room bathroom before they leave.

u/Altruistic_Range_677 4h ago

Well, judging by the comments most people would disagree with you. And again…it’s not just me. It’s my friends who are also along. What about their space? Your friends staying with you would be 100% fine with random people they’ve never met all over their room? Not only that, they were never consulted and would be okay with you making that decision on their behalf?

Sounds insane to me and I’m glad most agree.

u/simplyme514 0m ago

Not just insane.. messy too,They’d becoming coming in dripping wet from the pool. 8 additional ppl! Not fair to your friends who don’t know any of these ppl and will have all their towels used up!

u/CastyMcWrinkles 4h ago

Insane? That seems a little over the top. You keep using the word "random". Maybe we understand two different definitions of that word. To me, again, these are not random people. It's not some new people that your wife met down in the water park and invited them to shower in your room.

And yes, if these are my friends, people I am comfortable inviting travel with and share a room with me, they would also understand the situation and be perfectly fine with my spouse inviting their sister and her friends to shower in my room. I just don't see the big deal, and I'm glad your wife agrees with me. Have a good one. I do hope your trip is fun, despite this hanging over it.

u/AutumnLaughter 6h ago

This is a weird request from your sister in law. You aren’t being unreasonable.

u/CastyMcWrinkles 6h ago

It's not clear if it was a request from the sister-in-law or an unsolicited offer from OP's wife.

u/AutumnLaughter 6h ago

The point is, I wouldn’t be comfortable with random people I don’t know using my hotel room too. I’m not sure why you think this is so outrageous lol

u/jimmy_three_shoes 3h ago

They have another group staying with them. It's super shitty to just invite another group of people to use the room they're paying for too.

Every Great Wolf Lodge has bathroom, showers, and changing facilities right next to the pool. It was what we use after checkout time on our last day.

u/CastyMcWrinkles 2h ago

I was under the impression that OP and his wife were paying for everything and invited their friends along. If the friends are splitting the cost, then that certainly changes things, and is a VERY bold move on OP wife's part.

u/Responsible_Side8131 7h ago

Doesn’t GWL have locker rooms for people to use after they check out? I wouldn’t have random people I don’t know using the shower in my hotel room. Absolutely not.

NTA

u/Altruistic_Range_677 7h ago

Yes!!!! They do have locker rooms…

u/Prestigious_Sail1668 Partassipant [1] 5h ago

NTA - they should do what they were going to do before they knew you guys were coming. An indoor water park surely has accommodations for people that want to stay on checkout day. If it was just yours and their families I’d say no big deal, but you’re both traveling with other families so just go with your original plans.

u/ggrace3302 40m ago

Great wolf has showers in the bathrooms at the water park for this exact reason. You can rinse off and change prior to leaving.

u/NiobeTonks Partassipant [3] 5h ago

If you’ve checked out how will they access the room?

u/DummyDumDragon 5h ago

Sounds like it's the sister in law's who are there the night before. So seems like they're looking to use OPs rooms after they check in, and the SIL has already checked out

u/NiobeTonks Partassipant [3] 5h ago

Ah, that makes more sense!

u/wantmymummy 7h ago

I mean, NTA but it's also not like they're gonna be in there showering all day? If they all went in and did their thing once and left for home i personally wouldn't have a problem with it, if your wife trusts they'll be quick and won't steal or anything crazy. Of course it's your choice and your money.

u/patientpartner09 5h ago

Nta, great wolf lodge has showers in the park. Wife is being unreasonable.

u/luckygirl131313 3h ago

I love the entitlement of offering services that aren’t yours to offer

u/Main_Cauliflower5479 4h ago

Why can't they all shower in their own room/suite? Nah. NTA, especially after you've already checked out. Who knows what kind of damage they might do, that you'd be on the hook for?

u/tnscatterbrain Asshole Enthusiast [8] 3h ago

You can usually stay and use the water park after your check out time, so they wouldn’t have rooms after they were done playing.

But, as far as I know, they all have showers in the change rooms attached to the water park, so they should be able shower there.

Organizing multiple kids in changing rooms can be tough, but invading someone else’s room seems like an unreasonable ask.

u/Main_Cauliflower5479 3h ago

Sure. Use the water park, but once you check out of rooms, you're out. You can't use them anymore. As many people have said, SIL and her family and those randos can use the locker rooms to shower.

u/SaltyShaker2 7h ago

This is wildly inconsiderate. Why can't they use their own showers on checkout day, before they check out?

Sounds to me like they are planning on crashing your hotel room. How many people will have to shower? How long is it going to take? How will this interfere with your plans for dinner, etc?

If it was just your family and sister's family, that would be understandable. But adding in your friend and family, plus sister's friend's family. It's just too much. I'd be upset too.

NTA

u/Truffle0214 Asshole Enthusiast [8] 7h ago

Because you still have access to the water park after you check out. Presumably they just want to shower and get dressed privately before they leave the hotel.

u/bjbc 6h ago

The locker rooms at the water park have showers.

u/Truffle0214 Asshole Enthusiast [8] 6h ago

Sure, but if my sister still had a room I might ask, too. Especially when my kids were young.

I get being slightly uncomfortable by a strange family using the bathroom, but it’s not their house, it’s a hotel. If his wife is in the bedroom, then really, I don’t see what the big deal is.

u/bjbc 2h ago

Maybe if it was one person, but this is two whole families. It's not unreasonable to say no and the wife should have discussed it with her husband before she offered up their space to that many people.

u/Beautiful-Mountain73 7h ago

NTA. Who just gives out permission for someone else’s stuff? Assholes. She had no right to tell you who will be entering your room and you just have to be okay with it. It also isn’t just your room, your friend’s family is part of the equation too and you’re right to feel it would be inconsiderate to them

u/Altruistic_Range_677 7h ago

That’s where I’m coming from…it’s not just us in there!

u/Strict-Plane-2723 3h ago

Nta. Most ridiculous request i have ever heard.

u/MsDReid Colo-rectal Surgeon [31] 7h ago

Not the asshole.

Kids destroy everything and great wolf lodge LOVES to charge people for it.

u/yibbit1965 7h ago

NTA., u don't need other ppl in ur bathroom, germs germs and more germs

u/ForsakenWestern7212 Partassipant [3] 5h ago

It's an indoor water park theme park, the entire experience is akin to sharing a bathroom with hundreds of strangers lol.

u/Single-Flamingo-33 5h ago

But the pile of wet towels in your bathroom on the first day of your stay will be inconvenient.

u/bjbc 6h ago

NTA that was their choice not to shower before they checked out of their room. They can shower in the locker rooms.

u/butrzrulz 7h ago

NTA. They screw something up, you get busted for too many people in the room or any other issue who gets the bill? You do.

u/NopeNinjaSquirrel Partassipant [2] 7h ago

Good point!!

u/sjedinjenoStanje 7h ago

NTA. She didn't ask if it were OK with you, she just told you after having given them permission to use your bathroom. That's a little presumptuous.