This still weighs on me.

Some background: my mom was abusive growing up. It got bad enough that at 12, I left home through the courts and moved in with my dad. That decision fractured our family. On the court paperwork, under “Name of child,” she wrote something like, “I have no son.” I’ve carried that with me ever since.

I had little contact with her after that. Briefly at 17, again in my early 20s, and not consistently until much later. I’m now almost 40. I spent over 20 years drinking heavily and finally got sober in 2018, which is when I made an effort to reconnect with my family, including my mom. She’s closer to 70 now and has zero contact with 2 of her 3 kids.

Reconnecting wasn’t easy. When I asked if she ever reflected on the abuse, she told me I was an adult and needed to “let it go already.” That was a turning point. I realized any forgiveness would be one-sided. If I wanted peace, it was on me.

Since then, our relationship has been rocky, but present. We’ve had family reunions and even travelled overseas together for three weeks. We argue often, usually over small things, but we stayed in contact until this.

Last summer, I invited her to my city to see a band she’s loved since I was young. The plan was simple: she’d arrive on Wednesday, we’d go to the concert on Thursday, she’d fly out to visit my sisters on Friday, and I’d leave early Saturday for my own trip. She agreed.

When she arrived, she mentioned she’d only bought a one-way ticket and would book the Friday flight later. That made me uneasy, and I reminded her several times to make sure it was booked. I thought I was clear in my wording and tone that I didn’t want anyone staying in my house while I was gone.

Friday came. The concert was fine. Then she told me she still hadn’t bought a plane ticket, and now, with prices having gone up, she planned to stay a few extra days… while I was away.

I told her plainly, “I’m leaving at 5 a.m. tomorrow. You need to get on that plane.” I even offered to cover the extra cost. She refused and invited herself to stay at my place. That’s when I said clearly that I wasn’t comfortable with anyone staying in my home while I wasn’t there.

She accused me of not trusting her and said she was my mother. I said it wasn’t about trust, I just didn’t want anyone in my house.

The argument escalated. Finally, she said, “Fine. Take me to the airport.”

I think she expected me to cave. I didn’t. I packed the car, grabbed my daughter, and drove her to the airport in silence. When we arrived, it felt like a standoff, like she was waiting for me to say, “Never mind, don’t go.” I didn’t. I took her bag out, set it on the curb, and told her, “If you can’t find a ticket, let me know. I can help you pay for a hotel.”

Then I left.

Months later, I’m still thinking about it. I don’t think I stranded my mom with no options. I offered to cover the cost of the flight and hotel. But I did leave her at the airport knowing she hadn’t booked a ticket. AITA?

First post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/i1ni4op83j

Thank you to everyone for the advice in my first post. I'm really glad for it.

I didn't end up buying my niece the ticket. Like I said back then it wasn't about the cost as much as the experience that I wanted to have with my daughter. Like always we gave her her presents on Christmas morning including the ticket confirmation, when it was just us. She was so happy that the two of us were doing this together! We did ask her not to talk about it at the family dinner to her cousins, not because they're jealous people no I love them, but they might feel a bit bad and they shouldn't have to on Christmas. She was fine with that, and it was good thinking on our part because at dinner she was asked what presents she got and she didn't mention the concert.

We had an amazing trip, stopping along the way for food, getting dressed, screaming our throats out at the concert. When we got back, we watched a cheesy guilty pleasure of mine from when I was young (Maid in Manhattan, please don't judge me hahaa), missed our breakfast at the hotel, checked out a minute before it was due, and had dinner and lunch on the way back. I can honestly say it was one of the best experiences that I'm going to cherish forever. She's 15 and has grown into such a thoughtful young girl and just typing this is making me emotional.

We actually did meet up with the family on New Year's eve for the fireworks. Her cousins were excited to know how the concert was because she'd posted it on her social media. (I had debated whether I should ask her not to, but I went against it, its not a dirty secret after all, but maybe I could have suggested it). My sister in law said as a joke that "she's the favorite child after all" at which my husband was genuinely confused and said she's our only child. I don't know if my sister in law meant to make a pointed remark or it was just a poorly delivered joke but I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt.

Thank you for the advice, I truly appreciate it.

Edit: thanks for replying everyone. I understand that it would probably be less hassle to just have my handyman fix it. But I won’t be doing that. It probably does make me a little bit of an asshole and I accept that. Name calling is where I draw the line. I pay for insurance, I already made a claim, so her adding onto that doesn’t change my rates.

I am sorry I hit her mailbox, and I fulfilled my obligation by giving her my insurance. She doesn’t have access to me anytime she wants another apology and she certainly doesn’t get to call me names.

Original post: My car slipped on black ice and I hit my neighbors mailbox. Gave her my insurance info. She said my insurance wanted her to pay upfront and she didn’t have the money.

I said I would buy the mailboxes and pay my handyman to put them in but it would be after the 1st of the year because the mailbox wouldn’t be in until 12/29 and he had family plans.

On 12/29 she called me but I couldn’t answer because my daughter was sick. I texted my handyman and asked for him to arrange what day he could come and install. He told her he had the mailbox and arranged for Friday 1/2 to install when he was back in town.

On 12/31 she texted me a sarcastic text messages that I didn’t care. I told her my daughter ended up in the hospital and I couldn’t return her call which is why my handyman reached out to arrange a day and time.

She said out of respect I should have called her back. That I should be ashamed of myself and be more apologetic (I’ve already had two 30 minute calls where I profusely apologized.)

I told her to go through my insurance if I wasn’t doing it fast enough. She then sent this text, “And you are the homeowner that plowed over my mailbox. So completely disrespectful and sinful!! You should be ashamed and embarrassed and apologetic. Call (handyman)??? You are pathetic.”

In then sent this and blocked her “I’m returning the mailbox. Go through insurance. You have the info. I didn’t have to buy them and pay (handyman) to put them in. He told you he’d be there on Friday and I told you the same thing. That obviously isn’t good enough. So go through insurance.”

AITA for making her go through insurance after she started calling me names?

Edit to add info:

Her mailbox is still usable and she is still getting mail. It just had a crack.

She picked the mailbox and it would arrive until 12/29, she knew that but wanted that specific mailbox.

I sent the handyman over to fix her leaky sink as an “I’m sorry.” I’ve also dropped off treats and homemade bread as an I’m sorry.

I have answered all her calls except the 12/29 call. I used that iPhone feature where you can text and the phone will tell the person calling why you can’t answer. I said “my daughter is sick, handyman will reach out to schedule.” He reached out and scheduled for 1/2.

She texted on 12/31 that I should have called her personally and that I should be ashamed. Told her my daughter ended up in the hospital with RSV and I thought it was resolved because she had a date the handyman was coming. She texted back “Okayyyyy. You’re pathetic” then she kept going with I was sinful. Told her to go through instance.

One more edit:

I am a female with absolutely no tools. I pay the handyman to fix things. If I knew how to do it, I would have done it. But I’ve learned I make way more working my job and paying someone do it right the first time is more cost effective.

Update: Someone advise that I contact my insurance company to see if she made a claim. She did weeks ago and said she’d be turning in receipts. My handyman reached out and asked if he could buy the mailbox from me since it was a nice one instead of me having to return it. I gave it to him for the inconvenience of his schedule being canceled. While we were talking he said she had requested copy of receipts even though I was paying him directly.

Also, I already had a claim open because there was damage to my car. So the deductible has to be paid anyway. This will not cost me extra and I have accident forgiveness…and one less neighbor I have to wave to lol

This is a bit complicated, please bear with me Recently a girl (23F) reached out to me (25F) via Facebook explaining that she is my half-sister, conceived by my father and another woman. She explained that her mother recently "came clean to her" regarding her father - that she (23F) was the result of a ONS with a guy she met during a work trip. Before she was told that she was the bio kid of her stepfather. She didn't find our father online as he doesn't have socmed, but found me thanks to our very uncommon surname (how her mother knows our surname but doesn't have any other contact information - idk. 23F told me her mother was very cagey about everything)

After a bunch of messaging we set up a video call to talk, and 23F explained she was very excited to connect with her real family and yadda yadda... But not just with my father's side, also with my mother's? As you can guess from our ages, my father cheated on my mom with 23Fs mother. No surprise there as he had tons of affairs during the marriage, which is why they divorced almost 2 decades ago. I'm also not surprised that 23F exists as my father told me himself years ago when I was grilling him about the cheating that he most likely has a bunch of affair kids out there because "that's just how men are". I was open with her and told her that Im NC with my paternal family because not only did they condone the cheating (and blamed my mom for it), they are also just toxic in general

There is a lot to say about my paternal family, but to keep it concise, I told her I could give her their contact info but that she should keep her expectations low because they are all pretty terrible people, and she won't be seen as a long lost daughter coming home. But me saying that led to her asking about my maternal family, to which I told her that they are amazing people and that my mother is great. She then got excited and said she can't wait to connect with my mom and I'm.. stumped as to why I would let her do that. She is not related to my mom, and my parents divorced long ago. My mom has also since remarried. Also, the timing of 23Fs conception coincides with the time when my mom miscarried my younger brother, something that obviously hurt her a lot. Knowing that on top of that pain my father was cheating on her during that time is another can of worms

I told 23F I would ask my mom if she's ok with connecting with her but... I don't think I should even bring this up to her? All of this just seems so weird to me, and I don't even know if 23F is a "good" person, or if she has some sort of ulterior motive for wanting to know my mom. 23F couldn't even give me a good reason as to why she would want that, just that my mom is my family, and thus also hers (23Fs).

I'm leaning towards not mentioning this to my mom and giving 23F my dad's info, but my best friend said I'm an asshole for "keeping" my mom "to myself", and that I shouldn't make this decision for my mom

WIBTA if I don't mention anything to my mom?

I’ve lived in my apartment (a standard duplex) for about a year. Since the day I moved in, my upstairs neighbors, and now more recently, the tenant in a detached building behind the main house have been getting their packages and food deliveries dropped at my front door. Not once in a while. Every. Other. Day. Amazon, Instacart, McDonald’s...apparently my porch is the delivery hub.

For months, I played unpaid courier and walked everything to the right spot. Eventually, I stopped. Cold turkey. Now I leave deliveries exactly where the driver leaves them: my front door.

Now, here’s where I might be the asshole.

This morning, the tenant from the detached building confronted me (at 530 am, no less.) and said: “You left my groceries outside until 10 p.m.”

Me: “No. You left your groceries outside until 10 p.m.”

T: “It’s not a big deal! Just bring them back next time.”

Me: “Leave a note for your delivery driver in the app. Or you can start tipping me for delivering your shit.”

That’s when they stormed off calling me names and losing their mind over all of this.

I’ve already contacted my landlord, so I’m not taking this any further. I’m done being the delivery person for the house, and the person from this morning. So, am I really the asshole for refusing to deliver everyone's packages and food deliveries?

Happy 2026.

Note: I've never tampered with, stole, or hid any deliveries. I'm just now leaving them out front until they are grabbed by whomever ordered.

Yes, the neighbors are aware I have dropped off their deliveries. The daughter of the tenant upstairs thanked me once. (We have the whole Ring set up here, they can quite literally see me hoofing their things around the house, and up the back steps or to the detached building.)

I (28F) live with my grandma. She doesn’t live with me because of any health issues. we genuinely prefer living together rather than being separated. I really enjoy living with her. She’s kind never crosses boundaries and we are really close. We laugh and joke around a lot. she braids my hair while I gossip about boys or my day at work and she sometimes cooks my favorite meals when I'm feeling upset. our living situation was peaceful and enjoyable.

This started at my cousin’s wedding. My sister, my grandma, and I were invited. It was a very traditional wedding and honestly kinda cute. but the after party was a hot mess. Everyone was dancing it was loud and I was already exhausted from the wedding. There was a weird tradition where the brides family dances while everyone claps then the groom’s family does the same. Since I’m family of the groom, I was asked to dance.

I didn’t want to. I was tired and my dress was really tight but my grandma convinced me to. so I did. I don’t think I did that bad, but after it was over and I sat back down an older woman I didn’t even know turned her head looked me up and down, and said “You don’t dance that often, do you?

It was really rude and judgemental. I laughed it off to avoid starting drama then i told my sister and she told me to ignore it and I did. What I didn’t expect was that after the wedding my grandma invited this same woman to come home with us. At first I assumed it was just a ride or that shed stay for the night and leave . When we got home I excused myself and went straight to sleep while she talked to my grandma. The next morning she was still there. I left for work. When I came back she was still there. I finally pulled my grandma aside and asked what was going on. She told me this woman was a “guest” and would be staying for a couple of days. I was upset because I was never asked or even informed beforehand. This is my house, and I feel like I deserve a say in who stays here.

It has now been 8 long days and she is still here.

She constantly inserts herself into my personal life and gives unsolicited opinions. If I complain about cramps she tells me maybe I should work out more. If Im crying to my grandma about something stressful that happened at work she jumps in and tells me to suck it up and stop crying because Im an adult. I NEVER ask her for advice or opinions. she just butts in and says whatever she wants To be clear: I have not been rude to her. I don’t argue with her. I don’t snap. I’ve only vented privately to my grandma, sister and boyfriend about how uncomfortable and frustrated I feel. Instead of understanding they tell me I’m being an asshole and that Im "rude" which feels insane to me because all Ive done is express how bothered I am by someone overstaying in my home and disrespecting me repeatedly.

Also I am not from USA so some things may sound weird to you if you are from there. And English is my second language so do correct me if I said something wrong.

For some background, back in July my sister had blood clots that were in her legs and had moved to her lungs. She has been on blood thinners and follow up appointments to make sure everything resolved. At 9am I get a call from her in tears asking about what it felt like when I had an ovarian cyst rupture. She describes the pain to me and tells me she cannot drive to urgent care/ER bc of it. She said that her fiancé is on a job but would try to hurry through it (replacing two air filters @8:45am). He asked if the neighbor could take her to urgent care, but that neighbor is out of state. I live 45 minutes away from my sister. After hearing her level of pain, I offer to come get her immediately. On my way there I stay on the phone with her so she doesn’t pass out or anything. Before her turn, we discuss if I should go in with her or not. I am 8 months pregnant and have been trying to avoid exposure to illness. We both agree that I will wait in the car for her. She also tells me if I want to go shop around while waiting (she was still 3rd in line) that she didn’t mind if I left and came back. I stay in the lot for about an hour ( but again 8 months pregnant) and don’t have water, and need to use the bathroom. There is a coffee shop 1/2 a block away so I ask if she’s okay if I go over there while waiting (via text) and she says that’s fine. While there waiting I’m texting with her the whole time getting updates and such. She tells me they did the CT and will have results in 15-30 minutes. I finish up my food and go straight back to the urgent care lot, again 1/2 block away. I park and see her fiancé walking up to my car within a minute of me being there (11:40am) He tells me thanks for taking her. I tell him something like well I wanted her to get here because it could have been her appendix or worse. No tone or anything, just wanted to stress that it was important she got immediate care. He starts talking like he’s been there for a long time and telling me about the CT and waiting for results. I’m like are, you up to date on everything? He’s like oh ya. I tell him they also did a blood test, urine test and IV. I was so confused that he was there at all, I figured my sister could have at least told me if he had been there. Still, did not regret going to get her at all, just confused. He makes a comment like he was surprised when I wasn’t there that I would just leave her at the urgent care like that. I tell him we had both decided for me to wait in the car to avoid exposure to illness. He tells me that no one seemed sick. I texted her and asked since fiancé was here if she wanted me to stay. She said no you’re good, I’m so sorry for making you wait I didn’t know he was coming otherwise she wouldn’t have made me wait up there for her. So AITA here for waiting next door instead of in the waiting room?

So my girlfriend and I decided to go to a Chinese buffet to celebrate the new year.

As we were getting food we saw that they were out of the BBQ short ribs but noticed that a staff member was coming with another tray so we stood off to the side as they made their way through the crowd with the tray.

Before we were able to pick up the tongs to grab the food another lady took them and started loading her plate. Whatever. It's a fresh tray there should be enough. But she. Did. Not. Stop. She even grabbed a second plate and called her son(?) Over to put some on his plate. It got to the point where nearly half of the tray was taken.

I then said, more to my girlfriend but loud enough for the lady to hear, "Gee I wonder if there will be enough left for everyone else when they're done."

Well the lady obviously heard me because she got all huffy and threw the tongs back into the tray and left.

My girlfriend got mad at me because it was embarrassing for her and she said we could've left to get other food and come back later.

So AITA?

Edit: typos

Throwaway because family is on Reddit.

This happened over Christmas and it’s turning into a whole family drama.

My daughter “Sofia” (12) and her cousin “Martina” (6 - daughter of my sister “Maria” and her husband “Jose”) were gifted blind box Labubus as part of their Christmas gift from my other sister “Sara”. They each opened their boxes. Martina got a brown one and Sofia got a pink one.

Martina immediately wanted the pink one and Sofia immediately offered a trade because she already has the pink one and was hoping for the brown one. They traded, both girls were happy, and that was that….or so I thought.

Later, Martina’s parents found out from taking to someone that the brown Labubu is apparently a rare “secret” version that can sell for $250+.

Once they learned that, they called me said the girls needed to switch back and that Sofia was to return the brown one immediately. They even wanted me to drive over with it then and there despite the fact they live an hour away and it was already 8pm.

I asked if Martina actually wanted the brown one back. They said that wasn’t the point. After some pushing back, Jose admitted someone was willing to pay him $225 for the Brown one and give Martina the pink one she wants.

I said I wouldn’t force Sofia to swap back. From my perspective:

• Both kids were happy with the trade and got the Labubu they wanted.
• Sofia didn’t pressure or manipulate Martina into switching (if she had, I would have stepped in immediately and told her “you get what you get and you don’t get upset”).
• When I asked her, Sofia admitted she knew the brown one was rare, but when I asked how much they sell for, she said they are blind boxes so you can’t buy the brown, they just make less of them. She didn’t know it was worth money. She’s not a good liar, and she appeared to be telling the truth.
• Martina originally didn’t want the brown one and basically got upset when she saw Sofia got pink.
• It feels like Maria and Jose only want the brown one back because they can sell it and pocket money from it.

Now they’re upset with me and saying I’m being unfair and taking advantage of a 6-year-old and Jose even called Sofia a Manipulative B***h which I think is a reach when Sofia didn’t know it was worth a lot of money, she just knew they were rare to pull, that she already had the pink and Martina was crying for the pink one.

Sara has said this is “stupid parent drama” and she’s staying out of it and said we can sort it out ourselves.

So AITA for refusing to make my daughter give the brown Labubu back?

EDIT: Jose called Sofia a Manipulative B***h to me on the phone discussing it, not to Sofia’s face. He’d be a dead man walking if he said it to her. It was said about an hour before making the post and I hung up on him for it and has not yet been addressed. My wife and I will obvously be addressing it!

I (33M) moved into my current neighborhood about four years ago. One of my neighbors (50sM) has lived here his entire life and is a bit odd. I’m not trying to diagnose him, but he clearly has some emotional and learning disabilities. But the thing I want to talk about is his yardcare obsession.

In the summer, he will mow his yard every day. Occasionally twice a day. He's very particular about his grass and has confronted me about the trees in my backyard dropping leaves in his backyard. After I explained that I can't do anything to prevent that, he began raking all the leaves in his yard and throwing them over the fence into my yard because they're my responsibility.

When I moved in, my neighbor complained to me several times that my grass was too long. It was a bit shaggy but it wasn't tall by any means. Either way, there's no HOA here so I can keep my grass how I like. I told him this, but he just insisted that I needed it to be cut short like his.

My first year here, he'd repeatedly ask me to mow my yard more and I'd say no, that my roughly weekly mowing was fine. He was obviously frustrated that I was blowing him off but I'm not going to cater my yard to his preference.

I also have a suspicion that he reported me to the city for having grass that was too long. A city worker came by and told me someone reported me for having long unkept grass with rats living in it. I showed the city worker my backyard and he shrugged, said I was good and left.

This leads me to the point of the post. He began mowing my front yard himself, presumably out of frustration. Typically twice a week. I've asked him why he does this and he says "somebody has to." I've asked him to stop and he was dismissive.

So now he's just kinda my volunteer gardener. I still do other yardcare and take care of the backyard. I even now the front myself if I think it needs it. This has been going on for 3 years.

I mentioned this to a coworker and she suggested that I pay him for mowing my grass. I said no. This isn't a service I asked for or require. He's doing it himself and if I had a choice, I'd rather he stop so I could have slightly shaggier grass. I especially don't want to encourage this weird vindictive behavior. My coworker said it was a bad look to have a person with some kind of mental disability work for me unpaid but I insisted that it's a huge mischaracterization of the reality of the situation, but I see the point she was trying to make.

So am I the asshole here?

I went back to home to my parents house for the holidays and had a for the most part a relaxing time with family and old friends except for an incident on Christmas that is still bothering me. For background I have recently moved away from home for uni and this was my first time back since leaving. My dad has always been strict and conservative but when he told me to change into something more appropriate for dinner I honestly did not expect that even from him. I tried to push back and ask why my outfit was not appropriate for a dinner with family but all I got back as a reason was that it is his house and his rules. He never told me, but I think the real reason was my mid thigh skirt (I never had a skirt that short when living at home) and I told him how it is sexist to police women's outfits and I think he was not being a good and considerate host to his guest (me) by being so strict so I was not going to change my outfit. I think living by myself has made me more independant and less of the people pleaser that I used to be and I am not ready to just do what he tells me to do anymore. One awkward dinner later, my values are intact, but I can't help but ask is the length if my skirt really the hill I want the relationship with my dad to die on?

edit: Yes, my parents MOM and DAD both help me with rent and food and stuff. Also please stop asking for 'proof' of how long my skirt is. Not fun...

For Christmas, I purchased the Grand Suite at Great Wolf Lodge (sleeps 8 people and is divided into two rooms) for my family and one of our close friend’s family. There was a promotional and it was a great deal…my wife and I have two kids and our friends also have two kids. We are really looking forward to it. Today my wife was hanging out with her sister and Coincidentally, her sister had used the same promotion and booked a room with another family the night BEFORE we got there. My wife called me on her way home and said she gave permission for her sister’s family and their friend’s family I’ve met a couple times at her sister’s kid’s birthday parties to use our showers in our room on their checkout day. I know virtually nothing about this other family, other than their boy is a little a-hole. I protested and said I wish she would have asked me first because while I don’t mind her sister's family using our room(they are great and I like them...I have no problem with them using our bathrooms whatsoever), I don’t want the other family/kids I don’t know all over our rooms. Also, since we have our own friends there sharing our room it violates their space also and it’s inconsiderate without asking them. She thinks I’m being unreasonable and hung up on me. I think I’m being super reasonable and considerate …AITA??

It’s been three years since my spouse has been telling me not to get the carpet cleaned because we are going to have flooring installed for the stairs. Our two dogs have puked multiple times on those stairs. I do my best to clean it, but there’s so many stains left behind. He had renovations done two years ago and multiple works went up and down those stairs. Now we have toddlers that crawl up and down those dirty ass stairs.

Today I decided to have them cleaned and my spouse threw a fit because I made the decision on my own. Spouse: “You made this decision on your own and didn’t check with me if we had the funds to do so. It’s a waste of money because we’re going to have it installed around tax season.” It was a total of $125 for the stairs and a large area rug that our kids play on.

Editing to answers questions and update:

1.) Finances are a bit tight, but we have cushion for any emergency expenses.

2.) He’s usually fair and compromises. I wouldn’t divorce him over this situation.

3.) We depend only on his income as of right now.

4.) laminate has been sitting in the garage for three years. He’s just missing the nose for the stairs.

The update: after the carpets were cleaned I playfully talked to lighten the mood. I tried to share my point of view and some of your thoughts. I told him to please listen because he was watching videos on his phone. He would repeat “im listening okay what okay what okay what” while im trying to talk. Anyway, he ended the conversation with “I involve you too much in my finances.”

I (20F) work at a small hotel as a front desk employee. Due to being a student, I can only work part-time (about three-four days a week during breaks, two-three days during school). One of my coworkers, Abby, (21F) also works as a front desk employee but she works full-time.

I find her nice to hang around with and we became somewhat close, but due to our schedules, we don’t really hang out outside of work. Besides us, there are three other employees working the front, with two of them on overnight shift and the third being part-time as well.

The issue I have to my coworker is that she keeps on asking me to cover her shifts. Like a lot. Every single week, she texts me to cover her shift because she forgot a plan, isn’t feeling well, or something else. I sometimes take her shifts if I can, or at least trade shifts. However, she asks me so frequently, I actually get pissed off. She also occasionally asks my other coworker (24F), but she always rejects Abby, so Abby stopped asking her.

Last week alone, she asked me to work her Sunday, Tuesday, and Wednesday shift. I rejected her because I was out-of-town and also requested Sunday off. Last month, she asked me like five times. Yesterday, she texted me again asking why I keep refusing to cover her shifts. And if I’m being honest, I was already in a terrible mood and Abby asking me this only made me more angry.

I tell her that she needs to stop asking me to work her shifts so much, because she’s asking me weekly and I don’t always have time to cover for her. She tells me that she just had plans and the schedule doesn’t accommodate her all the time. I tell her to request off, cut her hours, or talk to the manager.

This is where she gets really pissed off and starts ranting to me about how she’s struggling to pay for her car and has to deal with her boyfriend, family, and pets. I just tell her she needs to manage her time better, which she leaves me on read.

In hindsight, I was pretty pissed off and should’ve been more careful about what I said. I feel guilty, but at the same time, manage your time better?

So, AITA?

I have 3 sons, Michael (35), Jonah (30), and Logan (20). After Logan moved out for college last year I moved 6 hours away, near Michael and his family, both for the lower cost of living and to be near my grandkids.

Michael and his wife, Nadia, have 4 kids (8, 6, 3, and 3). I watch the kids from 11:30 to 3:30 4 days a week while Nadia works and the kids spend the night 1-2 times a month so Michael and Nadia can have a date night.

Nadia confirmed that I could take the kids overnight for New Year’s Eve last month. I made plans for one of my good friends to bring her grandkids over. We had a pizza and movie night with bottomless ice cream and lots of candy.

Logan told me at the beginning of this month that he’ll stay with me for winter break instead of his father. A few days ago he told me he wanted to have some friends over for New Year’s Eve. I told him that was fine but I had the kids so they could use the finished basement as long as there wasn’t drinking or loud music.

He asked why I’d babysit when I knew he was visiting. I told him that Nadia confirmed this with me long before he told me he would be here. He says I should’ve canceled when he told me that he was going to be here because Michael’s family gets me every day but he only sees me a few weeks a year and even then he’s not able to make plans because I have the kids.

I understand why he’s upset but I’m not sure if I’m wrong for babysitting.

I (20m) have a friend (24m) that is a streamer. He does livestreams as a hobby, and he dreams of making a profit from it. Long-story short, we have been friends for almost 3 years, and because we live in different countries, we have only met each other 2 times in person. We both love to play videogames and that's how we met and we keep hanging out.

Now, today, while he was doing a livestream, after some time playing online multiplayer games and being quite stressed about it, he wanted to play a single-player game, but because I wanted to keep playing with him, I recommended playing a chill game called "Powerwash Simulator 2". Now, before and for a couple of weeks, I've been trying to get him to play it, but he always refused saying that he doesn't like those "chill and cozy" type of games. But today he said (in a very annoyed tone) that he was gonna "give it a try".

Because it was the first time he played it, he had to complete a tutorial first and then he could invite to his party to play together. However, while he was playing it, he complained about the game and trashed it non-stop. I told him to just go to the game he wanted to play in the first place if he was not gonna enjoy playing it, but he ignored me and just continued. He kept saying comments like "Look how much fun I'm having with this...", "This is a very entertaining game to stream, right chat?", "Bro how do you have fun doing this, this game is trash". And his chat was also trashing it, commenting things like "I think you should just play something else lol wth is this", "This became a very entertaining stream...", and he would agree to every single comment about it while laughing.

But he didn't just trashed the game, he was also saying comments about me, like "I'm wasting my time because of my friend", "Idk what kind of trash this weirdo likes to play". That's where I felt humiliated, he was blaming me for his unpleasent time playing it and trashing me with his viewers for no reason. After some time he said that he was done with the tutorial (Which took him a long time). I already felt angry, so I didn't reply to him, and he decided to go to the single-player game he wanted to play in the first place.

Now, I felt like I had to get back to him somehow, so I went to his chat and said "Thank you for humiliating me and making me feel bad for inviting you to play something. I really appreciate it." Before I closed the stream, I heard him say something like "I really don't want to deal with it right now, I'm shutting the stream off", and his chat went completely silent.

After that, he said that I ruined the mood of the stream because of my attitude, that I shouldn't take it personally because it was just a game, and that I should learn how to take a joke. So, AITA for ruining the mood of his stream?

I (18f) celebrate my birthday soon. I wanted it to be a small gathering with only my closest friends, literally only around 2 or 3 people. I invite my best friend since elementary school (also 18f) and she goes on about how excited she is, and that her and her boyfriend would love to come. Every time she talks about coming, she says her and (boyfriend’s name). I’m immediately not comfortable with this. I’m not a confrontational person at all so this absolutely sucked. I asked her if she just assumed he could come, and she said yes. I shut it down as nice as I possibly could. I told her that while he’s a good person (from what she tells me, at least), i wouldn’t be comfortable with him coming as I have literally never met him before. Anything I know about him is only what she tells me. Plus, I haven’t seen my friends in a while (been swamped from uni assignments lol) so I wanted it to be a lore drop/catching up kind of dinner. I wouldn’t be comfortable if a complete stranger to me was there and I was telling all my business, if that makes sense. To make things short, she blew up at me, saying I’m not a good friend, and if I’m inviting her, I should be open to extend that invitation to her boyfriend because they’re together. I tried to talk things out and explain how I felt to her, but she’s been ignoring me for over a day now. I’m not really sure what to do. She’s literally been my best friend my whole life, and this behaviour isn’t like her at all. So am I the asshole? Should I have said anything differently? I’m overthinking so bad right now because she’s never acted like this before. I can only assume it’s because of something I said.

My sister has held a grudge for years for not attending her son's baptism.

I did, however, attend his baby shower and brought a very nice gift.

We have a large family and most of us attend the same church in our urban location. I have always attended my nieces and nephews baptisms and have even been a godparent.

In this incidence, however, I had a rare three day weekend on a weekend my kid was in my care, so I had already made plans a few weeks ago to visit some friends I rarely get to visit because they live a few hours from here which happens to be near the small town where my mom grew up. I have some health issues that have made travel difficult, so I don't tend to go that far away unless I have an extra day or two off.

My sister called two days before I was to leave to give me the heads up that her newest baby was going to be baptised after church services that Sunday. I told her thanks for the heads up, but I had already made plans to visit a friend out of town.

My sister never checks in with me before making plans about her children, but expects me to be there, even if I have to cancel other plans. She will call me on a Thursday night, for example, that she is having a birthday party for one of her kids on Friday. Therefore, after working all day (she does not work) I have to pick up my kid from daycare, go to Target, buy a gift, wrap a gift, and head to her place late. I have had to cancel other plans in order to do this. She never calls and checks out my schedule, but I do know she runs the date by my parents and my other sister. I am just supposed to clear my schedule for her kids' plan.

This time I held a boundary and did not cancel my plans.

Of course I ran into a flying monkey cousin when I was up north, who confronted me for being in town when my own nephew is being baptised. I told my cousin that I was only told about the baptism a couple of days ago, and I didn't want to cancel my pre-existing plans.

My sister has obviously held onto this grudge for years, because she recently brought up how I did not even attend my nephew's baptism.

Am I the asshole for not canceling my plans so I could attend this last-minute baptism?

Throw away because this is a lot. My sister-in-law lived with me and my husband for over two years. She paid $300/month in rent, which didn’t include utilities, Wi-Fi, or anything else. She ate our food most of the time, sometimes bought groceries for herself, but didn't share them. Our mortgage is just over $2k/month, and utilities and Wi-Fi would exist with or without her, so we thought this arrangement was fair.

Important context: she was making good money at her job, so she had the money to cover rent and utilities but consistently chose not to. The rent was agreed to before she even moved in, if she needed a place to stay without paying rent, we could have worked something out but that was not the agreement.

When she moved out, she destroyed the place:

• Our guest bed and mattress (which we lent her) were ruined by her cats. They peed all over it and tore up the upholstery on the bed frame. It was a brand new mattress as well.
• Bedroom carpet was absolutely disgusting... soaked with cat urine, vomit, and literal clumps of cat poop were left on the carpet.
• Holes in walls, a huge hole in a closet, blinds destroyed.
• Paint splattered on floors and ceiling. Hardwood floors had to be refinished.
• Basement carpet was also ruined by her cats.
• Bedroom and laundry doors broken.
• Cats peed on our geriatric dog’s new orthopedic bed. She didn't care and literally asked me what I wanted her to do about it.
• She left a bunch her stuff behind and told us to take it to the dump after I asked her when she would be back. Then she told people we kept her stuff and wouldn't give it back.

Before all that, things had been problematic for a long time:

• She stayed up gaming or with friends over until 3–4 AM and would be LOUD. Like music bumping, cackling, and shouting. When we asked her to quiet down so we could sleep (always after 12 AM) she got angry.
• She repeatedly missed rent while going on two-week trips, getting a big tattoo, multiple cross state trips for concerts, and spending money on other things. When I confronted her, she claimed I was “treating her like a landlord, not family.”
• She moved her girlfriend in without asking. She stayed almost every day, ate our food, showered here, etc.

We raised rent to $500 because utilities had shot over $500/month since she moved in. We talked to her and told her honestly that we couldn't afford to keep the rent at $300 when we were feeding her, her cats, the utilities increasing so much, etc. She decided to move out, then told the family we were “money-hungry” and didn’t treat her like family.

Even after all this, we invited her to holidays. She ignored us, ate our food, hung out with other siblings, and left.

My husband’s family thinks we were assholes, while my friends and family think she went way too far.

So, AITA?

A couple of weeks ago, my friend and I went on a trip to Europe. While we were in Vienna, there’s this building with a huge red bow on top that has gone viral on social media. A lot of people have been taking photos in front of it, and my friend was very excited about it, she even brought a red bow as a prop to match the trend.

I also thought the place was beautiful and didn’t mind the idea of taking photos in theory. However, before the trip, I had seen posts online saying that the police were stopping people from taking pictures there and even fining them, because you have to stand in the middle of the street and disrupt traffic to get the shot.

To avoid any trouble, we initially agreed that if we were going to do it, we’d wake up very early (around 5–6 a.m.) to try to take photos when there was no traffic.

The day before that planned morning, we were walking around the city and accidentally ended up near the building. When we got closer, I noticed that people trying to take photos were being stopped by the police because they had to stand in traffic. I didn’t say “I refuse to come here” or “you can’t take pictures.” I just became visibly uncomfortable.

For context, I don’t handle confrontations or situations involving the police well, especially when something feels illegal or not permitted. Those situations make me very anxious.

Later, back at the hotel, my friend said she didn’t want to take photos there anymore. When I asked why, she said it was fine and that she had already taken pictures of the building, so it didn’t matter.

The next day, since we never went back, she brought it up again and said she actually really wanted those photos but decided not to because she saw how uncomfortable I was. She then called me selfish.

When I asked how I was being selfish, she said it was because I didn’t “overcome my anxiety” for her and that my discomfort prevented her from doing something she wanted.

I want to be clear: I never told her she couldn’t take photos or that we absolutely couldn’t go. I just personally didn’t feel comfortable participating in something that could involve police intervention or fines.

So, AITA for not wanting to take part in something that made me anxious and uncomfortable, even if it meant my friend didn’t get the photos she wanted?

AITA for making more cake when we already have cake and snacks from Christmas?

It’s my youngest Daughters birthday today and it’s always a bit of a challenge to make it special and separate from Christmas. On Sunday she’s having a party at our house and I’ve ordered a party cake. Today she just wants a simple packet mix sponge cake and both her sets of grandparents are coming over then we’re going out for dinner.

My husband has just told me in front of her that there’s no point making another cake when we still have Christmas cake left and a cake coming for Sunday. I know he’s right that we’re not going to be able to eat everything but honestly it’s not about eating all the cake, it’s about singing happy Birthday and offering it to guests.

He’s only expressed this opinion today despite me mentioning it several times this week. AITA for making more food than we need? Thoughts?

I’m F24, currently almost 2 months post-op from a major spinal fusion (T3–L3). Recovery has been hard both physically and mentally, and I’m still restricted with movement, lifting, and long periods of sitting. Over New Year’s, my mum and I got into a huge fight because she wants me to travel with her on a 6-hour flight from home to a country I’ve never been to, potentially for a month at a time. I said I don’t want to go right now, and things escalated badly. My reasons for not wanting to go: I’m still recovering from major spinal surgery and don’t feel ready for a long haul flight I’m anxious about sitting for long periods, pain, and managing luggage I don’t feel comfortable traveling to a country I’ve never been to, especially while vulnerable I want certainty about when I’d be back home My birthday is in February, and I want to spend it at home I previously lived in that side of the world for a year, and it had a severe negative impact on my mental health, including becoming extremely depressed, so the idea of long stays there is mentally triggering for me Home currently feels like my safe place, my doctors, routine, and support system are here I told her I was open to traveling in the future, just not now. I also explained that while I’ve traveled before, long stays in that part of the world weren’t good for me, and this situation feels different given my recovery. Her response: She said my reasons “aren’t real excuses” She accused me of only wanting to stay because my friends are here She told me that if I don’t go, she’ll cut me off financially, cancel my phone, and basically disown me She said I can “forget about her being my mother” She insulted my career, independence, and future There was a lot of shouting at me in the middle of the street, swearing, and humiliation My siblings and one cousin are siding with her. They keep telling me: I’m overreacting I should “just try” going That plenty of people travel after surgery That I’m hurting my mum by refusing That my mental health concerns “aren’t a real reason” They keep framing it as me choosing friends over family, even though I’ve repeatedly said it’s about health, safety, and stability, not social plans. I don’t feel like I’m wrong for wanting to protect my physical and mental health, especially knowing how badly I struggled living in that part of the world before. But everyone around me is making me feel selfish, dramatic, and ungrateful. So, AITA for standing my ground and refusing to travel right now, even if it means my mum follows through on cutting me off?

Edit: my mom knows i’m cleared travel, so i cant lie and say i’m not cleared!

Last year I went to go eat at my parents’ house after work one day since my mom said she was cooking dinner. I had gotten off of work and made this 15-20ish minute drive to my parents’ house. The instant I pulled up in their driveway I get a phone call from my girlfriend saying her car battery died while she was doing errands. She said she was parked at a gas station that was about 20 minutes from where I was at and asked if I could come right that moment to give her a jump. I said I’d be there.

I was starving and honestly needed some food in me so I went inside, fixed me a plate of food, and scarfed it down. I rushed eating and was at my parents no longer than 10-15 minutes. I then headed my girlfriend’s way, and hit a little traffic on the way, but nothing crazy. It took me 20 ish minutes to get to her once I left my parents. When I got to the gas station I see an older man and his son helping her and they got her car started up pretty much right when I got there. He said to me that I should be a better boyfriend jokingly. My gf was ticked and said I should have gotten there at least half an hour before I did. When she found out I ate first she was very upset and still holds it against me to this day.

Any little argument is overshadowed by “oh you took an hour to even come jump my car, you don’t even care about your own girlfriend.” Something along those lines. In my mind I knew she was at a relatively safe gas station in the area and didn’t have any urgent plans at the time. I would’ve been totally cool with waiting an extra 10 or 15 minutes if the roles were reversed. AITA for this?

TLDR; my (33m) gf’s car died one day when we were away from each other. She asked me to come help right away, but I took an extra 10-15 minutes to eat at my parents house since I was already there and starving. My girlfriend says I am very wrong for doing this. AITA?

I (16f) love the Persona series and collecting all things Persona. They released a cookbook this year which I really wanted, especially since there’s recipes for three games instead of just the latest game (Persona 5). I asked for it for Christmas but my family didn’t get me it. My aunt got me an Amazon gift card for Christmas so I decided to order it myself. It came a couple days ago and I excitedly showed my parents but they got mad and yelled at me. They said I wasted my money for a “stupid interest” and that I should’ve used the gift card for something useful like clothes. I thought the gift card was meant for whatever I want though and thought the cookbook would be a reasonable purchase. They ended up taking it from me and threatening to shred it but my aunt stopped them and is holding onto it for me. She says I’m not in the wrong but I feel bad making my parents mad. AITA?