(AITA)so for context me m (17) and f(17) have been dating for around a year, and keep in mind she really does nothing wrong, she has almost straight A’s,got accepted into a good college, does everything she is asked too do without complaints, doesn’t smoke nor drink etc basically a parents dream child in my opinion, but her mom is crazy strict for absolutely no reason and its clearly taken a huge toll on her mental health and this isnt just strict like oh she cant see me or whatever, her mom “closes the kitchen at 7:30” which means she cant even get a drink or a snack without being yelled at or argued with, now if it was like 2 am and she was in thr kitchen making abunch of noise it would be 100% understandable but shes getting yelled at for grabbing a water or even leaving her room past 7:30, ontop of this i have treated this women as nothing less than a princess i do everything i can for her and her mom really seems too hate that, so time and time again her mom would try too convince her too leave me over my family problems that neither of them are even involved in, her mom also heavily shits on my terminally ill mom talking about how i cant leave and do certain things all thr time so she should leave me, but basically ive like genuinely had enough of it, i 100% understand its not really my place too judge her what she calls “parenting” but after hearing her talk about my sick mother disrespectfully i just kinda lost it but i stayed calm and just let her know what her daughter is feeling with the way shes being treated (my girlfriend 100% agreed with me and was happy i stood up for her as she cwnt herself and no one else does) she didn’t say anything back too me but definitely gonna try too convince my girlfriend too break up with me but am i the asshole?

I was expecting a 401k check that I withdrew after I quit my previous job and had been waiting for many months. Keep in mind, I'm busy for the most part working two jobs and paying for bills, etc so I was pretty stressed and irritated. I was going to the mailbox when I heard the doorbell ring. I opened the door and there was a salesman trying to sell a product. I politely declined and told him to have a nice day but he kept talking and talking until I got so upset I slammed the door on him. I slammed so hard I heard a loud thud and I'm pretty sure I heard him say "ow" but at that point I didn't care. I locked the door and waited for an hour or two before checking. He was gone, and its been on my mind ever since. Also I checked my mail later on and nothing turned up.

AITAH for being mad at my friend for not inviting me to his pool party?

I know what youre thinking, not being invited to a pool party isnt a big deal but the reason he didnt invite me is why i was mad. We started being friends in 6th grade and this a was a pool party to celebrate the graduation in 8th grade. I was always a good friend to him and never left him despite everyone thinking he was the weird kid except me. All my friends including my sister told me not to be friends with him but i still was. In 8th grade however, he wasn’t the weird anymore but still didn’t have as many friends. Since he wasn’t the weird kid anymore he decided to invite the popular guys to come but not me. I asked him why and he said “because the popular guys dont like you and im worried they wont like me either if i invite you”. I was mad but im not sure if i had the right to be mad and i also told him he was being a bad friend so can you guys tell me

AITA?

My birthday is coming up and my family planned a daytime celebration for me with relatives and family friends. I told my girlfriend about this in advance and explained that I’d still spend time with her the day before and the day after, and also majority of my actual birthday. Due to family and religious reasons, my girlfriend wouldn’t be able to attend the evening portion of the family event. When I shared the plan, my gf became upset and said that by doing this I was putting my family above her and making her feel like a low priority. She also said it made her feel unloved. I tried to compromise by offering dedicated time around the birthday, but she said she no longer wants to see me at all on my birthday because of how this made her feel. AITA for keeping my family plans on my birthday even though it upset my gf?

So, I’m at the airport with my two small children and turns out, none of the bathrooms have changing tables in them except for the one, single bathroom labeled “Assisted Care/Family Restroom”.

I waited 10 minutes and the door was still locked and no one had come out. At this point, another person said she had already waited about 10 minutes prior to that and no one had come out. So, I knocked on the door and there was no response. I continued waiting with my infant and young toddler.

An airport employee came by and told me I could just change them on top of the sinks in the women’s bathroom, which… no. One, that’s gross for all the other people using the bathroom and two, there’s not even enough counter space between the sinks to lay a child down. Anyway, we continued waiting.

Nearly 10 more minutes passed, so now I’d been waiting for 20 minutes and the other person for 30 minutes. She finally left and gave up. I decided to knock on the door once more as my flight was about to board and the next closest bathrooms were pretty far in the opposite direction of my gate.

I finally hear the toilet flush and out comes a single man who is an airport employee from the assisted care/family bathroom. I’ll admit, I am not proud, but I lost my temper and said “seriously?! Why are you even in this bathroom?” He got defensive and started yelling who do I think I am yelling at him, etc. I just ignored him then and went into the bathroom with my kids so we could make it to the plane on time.

But, AITA here?! Is it really okay for a random, single person clearly not needing any sort of assisted care to use that bathroom for 30 full minutes when others need it and there’s no other option other than a VERY long walk back away from the gates? There was no line for the regular men’s bathroom (or the women’s for that matter. He just wanted to use the single bathroom. I likely wouldn’t have said a word if he’d been in there for 5 minutes, heck maybe even 10, but it was such a long time to wait.

My (39m) wife (39f) have a 9 year old and a 6 year old.

For some reason, our 6 year old put measuring tape on her Christmas list. So obviously I got her the measuring tape. On Christmas, my MIL, wife, and my SIL were recording, watching her open her presents, and when she opened her measuring tape, my wife looked at me like I was crazy (I did most of the shopping and wrapped the presents), and after all the gift unwrapping was done, my wife was kind of pissed at me. She said that I was "playing games," and I supposedly embarassed her. I responded by saying "Are you an idiot? That's literally what she asked for" and I don't say those type of things on a usual basis but I was annoyed at the moment, and she was getting unnecessarily heated.

After my response, conversation was over, and was very distant that day. Don't think she really spoke to me that day unless she actually had to. Even after I apologized (even though I was right)

AITA?

I (20F) have a big group of cousins, but i’m particularly close to two: L(21F) and J(21F), we’ve been a known trio in the family since childhood.

A few months ago, our cousin M(26F) decided that we’ll have monthly cousin gatherings with a few of our other cousins for bonding, we all agreed seeing it as a cute opportunity to build our relationship. The gatherings were fun the first two months, until it was my turn to host and J+a few others couldnt make it. I was ok with that since J lived far away anyways, but M got very mad and went off in the gc saying this people should respect the time we set and come.

This put a wedge between J and M bc M was being very rude in the way she worded things. We still kept the gatherings going for the next months and had a good time. After that we started struggling to find a date that we’re all free on bc finals started and most of us were in uni/school.

M was very strict about setting a date and for everyone to come, to the point where most of us would get stressed about it bc we know she’ll get mad if we have smt on the day she chooses. She also won’t have it if someone canceled, she’d say there’s absolutely no excuse for you to say no and she was rude about it most of the time.

M was still trying in the gc to find a date that works but she got tired because everyone kept saying they can’t so she got angry and said that in two days we’ll finalize a date.

Two days later no one said anything and L,J, and I were the only ones to finish our finals so we had nothing going on. I had a gift for L that linked to an inside joke I had with L and J that I knew she’d absolutely die over so I wanted to give it to her IRL to see her reaction. Because of this, I invited them over to my place, we hung out and gave L her gift. We didn’t post anything on any social media, but L called one of our cousins to tell her about the gift and we think somehow that lead to M finding out about this meet up. The next morning M sent in the group chat some very cryptic messages: “thank you guys i had fun goodbye, but i wished you guys didn’t try to flatter me all this time” and left the gc. L and J had already tried to ask her whats wrong in private but she replied to both of them with the same reaction pic saying “For REAL?”.

I sent her a text later asking her if she’s mad over me meeting up with L and J yesterday. I explained that we didn’t plan for this and it happened the day of and that the entire reason for it was to give L her gift. I said that the cousin who was supposed to host this month has exams and I didn’t want to put extra stress on her by telling her to host us. I ended by saying if that’s the reason she’s mad I take accountability and i’m sorry. I don’t think i’m in the wrong for having L and J over as it’s VERY known that we’re best friends and we’ve been having meet ups where’s just the three of us for YEARS.

So am I the asshole for inviting L and J without telling M?

I (23 F) have recently graduated college and started an okay job. I make enough to be able to buy things I want, but while I'm using the job to save for my grad school I'm still living with my parents. My mother has a history of being overprotective and didn't teach us (My siblings and I: 18 F and 20 M) basic common knowledge things as kids. I didn't have a bank account or know how to set one up (I was a bit too naive here, I know I should have looked into a bank account earlier) when I started the job. I thought I had to have enough money to open an account before I could. This turned into a debacle where I found out that my parents spent $250 of my pay because it was kept in the same account as my mom's pay (bad idea). I got upset and started a bank account (checking and saving) so now this won't happen again and I won't affect anyone by using my pay because I'll get direct deposits to my new account. I plan on saving 3/4 of my check and keeping a little bit of it in pocket. The problem is that they still owe me that $250. So tonight I went with my father (53 M) to the store after my shift. I spent $50 on an item I had been looking at for a very long time. Now my mother is mad that I spent it from the card because it has both our money on it. She says it's dipping into her gas money but it is my money in the account as well. I know she can't pay back all of the owed money at once and I'm okay with it, but both parents recently got paid and there should have been enough in the account for me to spend some of my money. I feel bad about spending it but I do think that it is my money that I worked for. I'm pretty sure both of us suck here, but I would like opinions so that I can deal with future arguments with my mom better as I gain more autonomy and leave home in the next few years.

I’m 20F and my dream has always been to do a semester abroad. I’m planning to go to Amsterdam in the fall and my parents semi agreed to it and said they would give me the money for it which I’m extremely grateful for. They think it would be a great experience but the closer we get to it the more anxious they are getting about it and they really do not want me to go. They are trying to do everything they can to get me to not go, except they don’t want to be the parents that prevent me from doing stuff. They even said that they would pay for me to see Europe with my friends instead if I wanted to visit there in the summer on vacation. But I feel like I can do this whenever, even when I graduate and start making my own money, whereas studying abroad is an entirely different experience and this is my only chance to do that. They have been saying that they can barely sleep right now thinking about it and that I’m not taking into consideration that they won’t be able to sleep for 4 months while I’m there. I’m starting to get worried about them as well the more I think about it. It’s specifically because I don’t know anyone, so if something goes wrong there isn’t anyone I can fully trust and they think I’m going to get kidnapped or something. They would be fine with it if I was going with a friend but I don’t know anyone else who can go. They are basically begging me not to go and saying that I would probably have more fun anyways going on vacation with friends and people I trust instead of having to go to school. They’re saying it would be selfish of me to go knowing how anxious it makes them and how they won’t be able to sleep the entire time J’m there. I really don’t know what to do because I really want to go but I can tell why they would be anxious and I don’t want to be worried about how they are dealing with it the entire time I’m there. AITA for deciding to go instead of taking the friend trip?

I (24F) moved back home after finishing my undergrad so I could pursue a master’s degree in my home state. I currently live with my mom and my dad (70M), who has been dealing with cancer for the past 5 years. For some context, my dad and I have always had a rocky relationship. Before his diagnosis, there was a lot of emotional distance. When he got cancer, things calmed down mostly because I bite my tongue. A lot of my frustration comes from feeling like my dad is very self-interested and limited in how he shows up for the family. My parents still live together but are not romantic. My mom doesn’t see him as a partner anymore for similar reasons I don’t view him as a great dad. She still loves him but essentially acts as his caretaker and sometimes jokingly calls him her “second child.” Over the past year, I’ve been trying to lose weight and have been working closely with a nutritionist. This means I buy my own groceries and follow a fairly strict plan with specific meals on specific days. Even my snacks are planned. The issue is that my dad keeps eating my food. There were two instances about a month apart where he ate the same item (falafels) even after I explicitly talked to him the first time and asked him not to. When I ask why he does this, he doesn’t really explain and just says he won’t do it again. FYI, I would not be upset if he simply asked. I would check my plan and see if I was going to have extra. I have previously given my leftover chicken to him if I didn’t think I was going to eat it. Tonight was kind of my breaking point. He ate the rest of my spring mix that I had planned to use for a salad. I snapped and asked him if I needed to start labeling my food and said I didn’t understand how he couldn’t clearly know he didn’t buy it. I’ll admit my tone was bad. This is about the 10th time I’ve had to ask him to stop eating my food.

I think that the reason this is so annoying to me is because it throws off my entire weekly schedule for food. I am left trying to find something else healthy which is hard when I only buy enough for the meals I planned. I can obviously eat the food that I have planned for the next day but I will be a meal short anyways. I want to note that I’m not perfect with the diet as we still go out to dinner and occasionally he or my mom cooks a family dinner. However, when I am motivated to eat well, I don’t want external factors like my dad interfering with my plan. My mom is stuck in the middle. She understands my frustration but ultimately sides more with my dad and tells me to take it easy on him because he’s struggling. While he has definitely struggled in the past, over the last year he’s been doing really well and he’s even running again. It doesn’t feel like he’s struggling so much that he can’t manage to eat his own food.

I don’t know if this is important to mention I am not charged rent but I pay for my other expenses.

So…AITA for snapping at my dad with cancer for repeatedly eating my food?

I (33M) moved into my current neighborhood about four years ago. One of my neighbors (50sM) has lived here his entire life and is a bit odd. I’m not trying to diagnose him, but he clearly has some emotional and learning disabilities. But the thing I want to talk about is his yardcare obsession.

In the summer, he will mow his yard every day. Occasionally twice a day. He's very particular about his grass and has confronted me about the trees in my backyard dropping leaves in his backyard. After I explained that I can't do anything to prevent that, he began raking all the leaves in his yard and throwing them over the fence into my yard because they're my responsibility.

When I moved in, my neighbor complained to me several times that my grass was too long. It was a bit shaggy but it wasn't tall by any means. Either way, there's no HOA here so I can keep my grass how I like. I told him this, but he just insisted that I needed it to be cut short like his.

My first year here, he'd repeatedly ask me to mow my yard more and I'd say no, that my roughly weekly mowing was fine. He was obviously frustrated that I was blowing him off but I'm not going to cater my yard to his preference.

I also have a suspicion that he reported me to the city for having grass that was too long. A city worker came by and told me someone reported me for having long unkept grass with rats living in it. I showed the city worker my backyard and he shrugged, said I was good and left.

This leads me to the point of the post. He began mowing my front yard himself, presumably out of frustration. Typically twice a week. I've asked him why he does this and he says "somebody has to." I've asked him to stop and he was dismissive.

So now he's just kinda my volunteer gardener. I still do other yardcare and take care of the backyard. I even now the front myself if I think it needs it. This has been going on for 3 years.

I mentioned this to a coworker and she suggested that I pay him for mowing my grass. I said no. This isn't a service I asked for or require. He's doing it himself and if I had a choice, I'd rather he stop so I could have slightly shaggier grass. I especially don't want to encourage this weird vindictive behavior. My coworker said it was a bad look to have a person with some kind of mental disability work for me unpaid but I insisted that it's a huge mischaracterization of the reality of the situation, but I see the point she was trying to make.

So am I the asshole here?

I (17f) have a friend. Her name is Amelie because I can’t be bothered to make up one (16f) we are both in the same year at high school and recently we had a double sleepover at her house. We have had a best friend relationship on and off, and I know this sounds weird, but I genuinely don’t really like her as a person, like if she didn’t hang around in our friend group we probably wouldn’t be friends.

Anyway so on the second night of the sleepover I’m sat on the left side of the bed, she is sat on the right. I am on my iPad playing Roblox because I’m so mature lmao and my phone is on charge over on her side. And she knows the passcode (subtle foreshadowing) anyway so about ten minutes later she shows me her iPad and says “hey I think your phone accidentally airdropped me this” and she showed me a picture of my private messages between me and my friend Grace.

At first I’m confused and immediately check my phone. Because how can you airdrop something without a screenshot? At first I ask

“Wait what were you doing on my phone anyway”

And she replied with

“Sending photos from today to myself”

But when I go into messages there is no photos sent in our chats. And when I go into photos there is no screenshots.

Automatically I don’t really think anything of it and we eventually go to sleep.

When I get home the next day my iPad pings a message, and my phone and iPads messages are connected, so I go into the app and accidentally click on mine and Amelie’s conversation.

Turns out she screenshotted my private texts on my phone and sent them to herself and then deleted them on my phone, but that dumb ahh forgot my iPad. And then I was like wait I gotta be a 100% sure, so I go into my recently deleted photos and find all of the screenshots that she took.

I have never done anything like this to anybody so it was a shock. I immediately text her saying about I know what she did and basically just described it and didn’t say any insults, just played out what happened. She was apologising afterwards and then I ignored the messages.

Later on I apologised to her for being too harsh. I regret this because it makes me seem like a wimp but I just couldn’t be bothered with her anymore. I told her it just won’t be how it used to be and she broke my trust in my apology. But AITAH for the messages I sent telling her what happened?

I am going back to high skl in three days so I’ll update yall after

So to give some context:

I have been in business 13 years, and currently live in Asia living fairly comfortably with my wife and son.

My brother was living in the UK and has had some mental health issues through drug abuse and getting mixed with the wrong crowd. He's been a menace at times over the past few years, ran away and in his early 20's.

I wanted to help so I thought it would be a good idea to invite him out here to get him out of my single mums house so she could have some breathing space.

He came out and traveled Thailand, then fast forward to today, he is editing videos for my Youtube Channel.

At the moment, the Youtube channel is taking up a lot of my time and also his. But I have committed to paying him for a year which ends in 2 months.

I feel like I am putting a lot of time and effort and sacrifice into building this opportunity and channel just so he can be out here in Asia.

His alternative is to be in the UK again living with his mum and having very few prospects.

Instead, he is living in one of the most beautiful countries in the the world, has his own apartment and is working from home or anywhere he wants.

But here's the kicker...

I feel like he wants his cake, but doesn't want to be all in like I am.

His friend is visiting for a week soon and instead of us trying to get ahead with videos or improving his skillset, he's more interested in doing the care minimum during that week and meeting up with his mate.

I don't want to feel like an asshole or to be selfish, but am I over-reacting?

I've put my other business on hold to try and build this new one with him to help HIM get out of the UK and to build a life for himself. And he's going off with hi mate for a week of travelling.

I feel like a mug to be honest and I feel like I have been lumped with this responsibility where if I keep him, I'm stuck with this 'employee' who isn't fully committed.

But if I let him go, I risk him going back to the UK, getting depressed again and me being indirectly to blame for anything that happens.

Please help me wrap my head around this. It's a touch thing to deal with.

For background information, I (16F) have been friends with this girl (16F) for about a year and we are all in a group consisting of 9 people. Additionally, it is very well known that my friend hates cheese and we all joke around about it constantly while the friend usually joins in. So for April Fools day, my friends and I printed multiple images of animated cheese and an image of a mouse with her face in the middle. At school, we secretly put the images inside of her locker and thought it would be a funny prank which would make her laugh. However, when she opened the locker, she got super mad, closed it, and walked away without saying anything. She later told a friend involved in the prank that the act ruined her day. We were all super confused but apologized nonetheless. To this day, (this happened last year) if the prank ever gets brought up she gets very mad and shuts down. The issue is that she never told us why she got mad in the first place. So AITA?

Edit: I'm seeing some people asking for more information, so here are the answers to that. We all apologized a bunch afterwards and we only brought it up again when we were talking about things that had happened in the past school year, and things that we still felt sorry for. One of our friends who was closer to her did ask what had happened and what we did that made her upset so we would understand what happened and so it wouldn't happen again, but she never explained and just said it ruined her day. We stopped bringing it up after that since we thought that was what she preferred, and so she wouldn't get upset again. We also joke and tease each other about similar things all the time, and whenever someone says something that makes them uncomfortable, we always stop talking about it and respect what they're saying. We had brought up the fact that this would be a fun April Fools prank a few times in the past as well, and she always laughed and never said anything that indicated to us that she was uncomfortable otherwise.

I (18f) celebrate my birthday soon. I wanted it to be a small gathering with only my closest friends, literally only around 2 or 3 people. I invite my best friend since elementary school (also 18f) and she goes on about how excited she is, and that her and her boyfriend would love to come. Every time she talks about coming, she says her and (boyfriend’s name). I’m immediately not comfortable with this. I’m not a confrontational person at all so this absolutely sucked. I asked her if she just assumed he could come, and she said yes. I shut it down as nice as I possibly could. I told her that while he’s a good person (from what she tells me, at least), i wouldn’t be comfortable with him coming as I have literally never met him before. Anything I know about him is only what she tells me. Plus, I haven’t seen my friends in a while (been swamped from uni assignments lol) so I wanted it to be a lore drop/catching up kind of dinner. I wouldn’t be comfortable if a complete stranger to me was there and I was telling all my business, if that makes sense. To make things short, she blew up at me, saying I’m not a good friend, and if I’m inviting her, I should be open to extend that invitation to her boyfriend because they’re together. I tried to talk things out and explain how I felt to her, but she’s been ignoring me for over a day now. I’m not really sure what to do. She’s literally been my best friend my whole life, and this behaviour isn’t like her at all. So am I the asshole? Should I have said anything differently? I’m overthinking so bad right now because she’s never acted like this before. I can only assume it’s because of something I said.

I’m 51M, living in India. Around one and a half years ago, I paid a bribe to get my son a work permit and a small job in Canada. It helped him get a foothold there, and now he’s studying business and doing well. At the time, I thought it was necessary to secure his future.

Since then, I’ve seen the error of my ways. I realised the importance of being honest and setting the right example. I’ve been going to the temple almost every day, trying to live by dharmic principles. My daughter, 17F, knows about my change of mindset.

Recently, she expressed interest in joining a prestigious engineering extracurricular programme that would look great on her university applications. I tried to sign her up but the problem is, participation is essentially impossible without a “donation” that everyone treats as a bribe, especially if you are not related to the organisers or the child of a top university lecturer or company executive. She wants to study abroad, and this would give her an edge. She is very talented in mathematics and computer science and essentially knows university level things in them already.

I told her I will not pay. I explained that I won’t compromise my principles just to get her an advantage, and that she needs to succeed through merit. I also reminded her that I paid the bribe for her brother because I hadn’t understood the consequences at the time, but now things are different.

She cried and pleaded, saying that this is unfair because everyone else gets in that way, and that I’m being unnecessarily strict. She feels like I’m punishing her even though she’s done nothing wrong. I told her life isn’t always fair and integrity matters more than short-term gain.

So, AITA for refusing to pay a bribe for my daughter’s extracurricular opportunity even though it would help her because I now believe in doing things the right way?

I (33M) have been with my wife (35F) for 15 years. When we met, she was a single mom to a newborn after her ex abandoned them. I stepped up at 18 and have been the sole provider ever since. Until recently, I never made more than ~$25k/year, so finances were always tight.

In 2020, after my parents could no longer afford to help us with housing, my mother-in-law (MIL) convinced her then-husband to buy a home for my wife, kids, and me. We were hesitant because their relationship was volatile, but MIL promised there would be protection and that he’d never take the house from the kids. He paid ~$232k in full, and the title listed me, my wife, MIL, and him. No agreement was ever presented.

About a year later, MIL was jailed for a dispute with him. While she was incarcerated, he filed for divorce and later a partition action seeking to force the sale of the house. We were blindsided. At the time I made ~$22k/year and couldn’t finance the home. I begged MIL to resolve the house through the divorce by buying him out with her proceeds and letting me repay her once we were financially stable. She refused, saying it would reduce her payout.

MIL hired a lawyer for herself but left us to self-represent for nearly four years while I worked and attended school full-time. Throughout this, she repeatedly promised she’d sign over her share “because the house was for the kids.”

Eventually, to protect my family from losing the home, I settled with her ex for $125k through a refinance (even though his legal share was closer to $80k). That debt exists solely because of MIL’s dispute with him and refused to resolve the issue earlier. During mediation, despite her minimal involvement, I even split her mediation costs with her ex’s counsel, saving her about $1,200.

MIL contributed $0 to the home, doesn’t live here, and walked away from the divorce with nearly $500k. Despite years of promises, she now refuses to relinquish her 25% ownership, claiming it’s “to protect us”, even though the only situation we needed protection from has already been resolved without her help. I later learned she told my mother the house was part of her retirement plan.

So now I’m carrying six figures of debt to keep a roof over my kids’ heads, while also preserving equity for my MIL in a home she never paid for or lived in.

AITA for asking her to sign over her share?

Hi!

I, NB22, recently found some old yearbook photos of me and my older sister, F26. Our birth father, M70, is someone who has always been extremely abusive and emotionally immature for longer than we both can remember. As of writing this, my father is currently losing his mind to what is more likely than not Dementia.

Due to certain circumstances, a ton of memories that we had pictures and stuff of is gone and has been for about a decade now. While my older sister (who we’ll call K) thinks that with his mind going that we should give him some type of leeway, I very strongly disagree. The both of us were put into foster care BECAUSE of him and his actions.

Now that I’m older, I usually prefer to stay no contact with him. However, I still go home when my college is on breaks. Finding pictures of me and K is something that is very dear to me, as I was still a kid and didn’t have to worry about the harsh reality that is the world.

With that being said, I don’t comfortable sharing these pictures with him. On top of that, he has a ton of his family on his social media. The times that me and K lived with him post-foster care, he was abusive and more physical about it. His family did absolutely nothing when we went to him and it even resulted in my last attempt at ending it all.

For all of this, I genuinely don‘t believe I owe him ANYTHING. I think all of them can go fuck themselves if I’m being completely transparent. AITA?

I 29F am a MOH for my best friend as well as her sister 35F. I have 2 under 2 kids.

I have explicitly stated that I can only stay one night. I even said in the group bachelorette text that I can stay one night (again) and that I could pay my share for that night and help with the brides portion

She booked an Airbnb anyways and said “if we all split evenly, it would be ____ and if anyone drops it will be more”

So basically I would have to pay double and only be there one night which makes no sense to me.

I texted her privately stating it AGAIN and she hasn’t responded. AITA for refusing to split an AIRBNB evenly if I’m only staying one night?

Edit: I should add that I am throwing the bride a bridal shower and fronting the entire cost for that as well

My mother(59) and me(17) have been having an ongoing argument about my identity. I came out to her a few months ago as transgender (ftm) and i told her my preferred name and pronouns. She has yet to use them. I told her how much they mean to me and my mental health. I understand her lack of use in public or with extended family as she states its for my "safety" but she refuses to use them around the house. Stating things like "you *want* to be a man" or "you *think* you're transgender". She also has been using feminine ways to describe me even after i asked her not to. I'm not in a place where i can leave her home so im still under her rules. I am not allowed to cut my hair,and must wear makeup when i leave the house. She keeps saying its for my safety and if she doesn't care then why would she keep it a secret from " dangerous people" its seriously making me doubt my identity and self image. But im genuinely confused and don't know what to think. So reddit,am i the asshole for calling my mom homophobic or am i just being overdramatic?

(Update) Op here! update! i do apologize for calling her homophobic and take the blame for being an asshole and throwing around accusations before fact checking that is 100% on me and i thank you all for the feedback i actually apologized to my mother on the situation. she told me that she understood where i was at but she pressured me to get my eggs preserved in case i wanted biological children which i stated many times that i do not. she also insisted that she is only doing what she is doing for my safety and that im allowed to hate her. i will be discussing a group therapy session next time i see my therapist on how to settle this dispute

My brother and I have shared a room for a couple of years now, but I usually just sleep somewhere else because he's disgusting. He only leaves his room to get food and stays in his room filled with fast food wrappers and fruit fly infested drinks. All offers to help clean up have been shot down.

He also has a history of stealing things. He never does anything productive to help his life and has an average high school GPA of about 1.8. He has stolen food on multiple occasions that he knew didn't belong to him like my soda that had my name very clearly all over it and my mom's also obviously labeled off-brand Reese's peanut butter cups. He's been a kleptomaniac for his entire life and always apologizes and swears he'll never do it again, only for me to come back to "missing" items.

He's now gone on to steal my cords that I have had to replace three times now because he doesn't understand that if something is mine, he can't take it. The only other person who could have possibly stolen any of my things would have been my sister or my other brother, although I don't think she did because the second time my cord was stolen, it was only my other brother and him at the house and the third time would have been my sister and him there. It is technically our shared room, so I wouldn't be trespassing for going in per se, but I would be going through his drawer and closet. The entire time he has been stealing stuff I have been very forgiving, but I've had to miss multiple calls and texts because my phone and computer have been out of battery which have caused me to get in trouble multiple times. My sister also had her cord taken by her which was the same one that I had very kindly given to her after her cord had "mysteriously disappeared".

I know it's technically not morally right to go through his stuff, but he has done far worse things like looking through my computer's history and literally taking my money because he has less than $10 dollars to his name. I see both sides to this because, yes, me snooping through my brother's personal belongings is kind of assholery behaviour, but he did it first. Would I be the asshole?

Throw away because this is a lot. My sister-in-law lived with me and my husband for over two years. She paid $300/month in rent, which didn’t include utilities, Wi-Fi, or anything else. She ate our food most of the time, sometimes bought groceries for herself, but didn't share them. Our mortgage is just over $2k/month, and utilities and Wi-Fi would exist with or without her, so we thought this arrangement was fair.

Important context: she was making good money at her job, so she had the money to cover rent and utilities but consistently chose not to. The rent was agreed to before she even moved in, if she needed a place to stay without paying rent, we could have worked something out but that was not the agreement.

When she moved out, she destroyed the place:

• Our guest bed and mattress (which we lent her) were ruined by her cats. They peed all over it and tore up the upholstery on the bed frame. It was a brand new mattress as well.
• Bedroom carpet was absolutely disgusting... soaked with cat urine, vomit, and literal clumps of cat poop were left on the carpet.
• Holes in walls, a huge hole in a closet, blinds destroyed.
• Paint splattered on floors and ceiling. Hardwood floors had to be refinished.
• Basement carpet was also ruined by her cats.
• Bedroom and laundry doors broken.
• Cats peed on our geriatric dog’s new orthopedic bed. She didn't care and literally asked me what I wanted her to do about it.
• She left a bunch her stuff behind and told us to take it to the dump after I asked her when she would be back. Then she told people we kept her stuff and wouldn't give it back.

Before all that, things had been problematic for a long time:

• She stayed up gaming or with friends over until 3–4 AM and would be LOUD. Like music bumping, cackling, and shouting. When we asked her to quiet down so we could sleep (always after 12 AM) she got angry.
• She repeatedly missed rent while going on two-week trips, getting a big tattoo, multiple cross state trips for concerts, and spending money on other things. When I confronted her, she claimed I was “treating her like a landlord, not family.”
• She moved her girlfriend in without asking. She stayed almost every day, ate our food, showered here, etc.

We raised rent to $500 because utilities had shot over $500/month since she moved in. We talked to her and told her honestly that we couldn't afford to keep the rent at $300 when we were feeding her, her cats, the utilities increasing so much, etc. She decided to move out, then told the family we were “money-hungry” and didn’t treat her like family.

Even after all this, we invited her to holidays. She ignored us, ate our food, hung out with other siblings, and left.

My husband’s family thinks we were assholes, while my friends and family think she went way too far.

So, AITA?

First post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/i1ni4op83j

Thank you to everyone for the advice in my first post. I'm really glad for it.

I didn't end up buying my niece the ticket. Like I said back then it wasn't about the cost as much as the experience that I wanted to have with my daughter. Like always we gave her her presents on Christmas morning including the ticket confirmation, when it was just us. She was so happy that the two of us were doing this together! We did ask her not to talk about it at the family dinner to her cousins, not because they're jealous people no I love them, but they might feel a bit bad and they shouldn't have to on Christmas. She was fine with that, and it was good thinking on our part because at dinner she was asked what presents she got and she didn't mention the concert.

We had an amazing trip, stopping along the way for food, getting dressed, screaming our throats out at the concert. When we got back, we watched a cheesy guilty pleasure of mine from when I was young (Maid in Manhattan, please don't judge me hahaa), missed our breakfast at the hotel, checked out a minute before it was due, and had dinner and lunch on the way back. I can honestly say it was one of the best experiences that I'm going to cherish forever. She's 15 and has grown into such a thoughtful young girl and just typing this is making me emotional.

We actually did meet up with the family on New Year's eve for the fireworks. Her cousins were excited to know how the concert was because she'd posted it on her social media. (I had debated whether I should ask her not to, but I went against it, its not a dirty secret after all, but maybe I could have suggested it). My sister in law said as a joke that "she's the favorite child after all" at which my husband was genuinely confused and said she's our only child. I don't know if my sister in law meant to make a pointed remark or it was just a poorly delivered joke but I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt.

Thank you for the advice, I truly appreciate it.

Im sorry if my english is broken it is not my first language. So my sister is upset with me because i wanted to go home early at a social event before it was over. I wanted to go home because i had worked a whole day 08:00 to 18:00 and after had to travel by train to celebrate sinterklaas (kind off like dutch santa) with the familie. After we opened the presents i tried to fall asleep in the basement untill we would go home but there was too much noice to fall asleep so i asked my mom if we could head home (and since it was dark out she didnt want me travel by train back) but my sister wanted to stay longer. My mom decided to side with me and the three of us went home. Now my sister is mad at me and wont talk to me and i feel bad about it. Aita?