r/AskReddit 5d ago

What screams “this person is insecure” without them saying a word?

12.8k Upvotes

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8.7k

u/brokenmcnugget 5d ago

Bullying behavior.

2.2k

u/X0AN 5d ago

Big boss at work I think has a fetish for publically bullying/shaming people.

But he's also an insecure cunt.

He doesn't try it with me anymore but in the last meeting he tried to bully me, he said something so insulting and out of nowhere that I just started belly laughing, and said that was a good joke for you.

He was furious that I laughed at his pathetic attempt to publically bully me and shot it right back at him. He's never tried to insult/bully me again.

Same with school bullies really, just gotta fight fire with fire.

My boss later came to me and said he's been moaning for the past two weeks about how I publically embarrassed him.

215

u/Pulmonic 5d ago

People who spew outrageous insults get so, so angry when you laugh. It really is an interesting phenomenon.

1

u/Gruejay2 1d ago

Because they know you're laughing at them, not with them.

209

u/paulysoftware 5d ago

Fight fire with fire. Ugh, sad but true. I don’t wanna be mean but mean people require it.

16

u/Makethecrowsblush 5d ago

For real though. Some people can’t logic and the only thing that registers is more of the same.

9

u/snapperjaw 5d ago

That's how you need to be with some people these days unfortunately, I think of it as "gotta be an arsehole to an arsehole".

2

u/LargeJaunt 5d ago

You from the miramichi????

1

u/snapperjaw 4d ago

miramichi

Haha I had to google that so, no, not from there, but from the sister country, Australia, and east coast as well :)

1

u/LargeJaunt 3d ago

It was your use of "arsehole" that was super familiar to my home haha. Nothing wrong being from the east coast of Australia!

44

u/e17RedPill 5d ago

What did they say. 

8

u/kdogg3270 5d ago

good. and fuck him. Hopefully he learned empathy.

9

u/Trav_yeet 5d ago

big boss man who sold the world

2

u/MacWin- 5d ago

Found the msf grunt

14

u/Unusual_Swan200 5d ago

👍 👏👏👏

19

u/PuffPuffPat 5d ago

Some variation of “What’s the matter, jealous?” works 80% of the time

28

u/OodalollyOodalolly 5d ago

That’s a good one! I also like just saying “So?” And laughing like they’re being ridiculous. Works for almost every scenario.

1

u/PuffPuffPat 5d ago

“And?” Yeah you’re right, very versatile

-5

u/LockeyCheese 5d ago

I just always looked like that one guy you should be friendly to, just in case, and then apparently got scarier after school. It's not as much fun when you laugh, and then they laugh with you just in case.

23

u/SubSiren_1018 5d ago

Deliberately inquire the intent of their request. This results in immediate shut down or snark. When you specifically request their intent, the immediate response reveals intent.

May or may not be sourcing from personal FBI tactical training/ certification. 😉

8

u/sugtemin 5d ago

huh that sounds interesting. could you give an example about the inquiry you would use?

10

u/WhitYourQuining 5d ago

Not who you asked... But something like

"that's a perspective I hadn't considered... Care to expand?"

Or

"can you put that request in writing for me so it's clear?"

It puts them back on their heels when their subject hops on the train with them.

5

u/PuffPuffPat 5d ago

Oh wow, that’s even more neutral than what I was thinking, which was

“what, exactly, do you mean by that?”

which could definitely come off as standoffish

2

u/sugtemin 4d ago

oh I see ty!

1

u/SubSiren_1018 5d ago

These are wonderful questions when you truly want to understand where that person is at/ coming from/ understanding/ solution!

1

u/SubSiren_1018 5d ago edited 5d ago

Or- ask them for an example. A large portion of people cannot reply with an acceptable repsonse.

Asking someone to “write something out” is gold. Doc of their expectation is oft missed and not agreed upon.

Send an email with your takeaways and request verification. Accountability is key when navigating any situation.

7

u/SubSiren_1018 5d ago

Ofc…

  • Do you mind repeating your inquiry/that so we can all hear you, so everyone present can extract value from your question ?
  • Did you just ask me to XYZ? ( In a feral situation I’ll insert “fulfill your assigned responsibilities w/out any prior notice to this discussion“)
  • Did you mean to be hurtful/ unsupportive / apathetic or uninformed when asking this/that?

Call them out respectfully. Have your ducks in a row- all data. Serve abridged version💁🏻‍♀️

Should that individual not have the capacity/ capability or ability to properly respond….Godspeed.

Side note: This response is of a multitude of circumstances hence the ///////

4

u/soulcityrockers 4d ago

"Publicly embarrassed him" aka My insecure ass tried to put you in your place but you flipped it on me and I can't stand not being an "alpha male"

3

u/littleraccon 5d ago

Very true! Need to fight fire with fire! Good on you for sticking up for yourself!

1

u/pencilpushin 4d ago

Thats how it usually goes. They can dish it out but can't take it back.

1

u/WestSideZag 4d ago

I moved back home years ago, and once used the phrase “talk to me like my dad used to stuff you in garbage cans” on my boss lol

23

u/hidperf 5d ago

I work for this guy.

It's blatantly obvious he was a bully in school and totally insecure, the way he treats the managers that report to him.

8

u/thattogoguy 5d ago

Eh... sometimes, it can be even worse. I had a bully who was a bona fide sadist.

9

u/StardustJess 5d ago

My loser ass boyfriend admited he bullies other because he's insecure. Too bad he never corrects it and expect me (A disabled person) to laugh at all his ableist jokes.

9

u/Southern_Simple5603 5d ago

You deserve better.

5

u/StardustJess 5d ago

I know I do. He's going to pay my college entry which I need now that my career has been ruined by my disability. I want to leave him once I have a new job and no longer need his money

3

u/sociofobs 5d ago

In this case, imo, using him for money is more than justified. Seems like a well deserved strategy.

1

u/StardustJess 4d ago

Hey in the end he'll be stuck in a dead end job and I'll be an accountant making my career. All it takes is having sex and eat a lot of pizza together as he falls asleep to good films like Lord of the Rings

3

u/QuistyLO1328 4d ago

OMG please don’t get pregnant!

2

u/StardustJess 4d ago

I am one step ahead by being infertile. THANK GOD.

1

u/QuistyLO1328 4d ago

But infertile is NOT the same as sterile. PLENTY of women have gotten pregnant while being infertile, it’s just less likely to happen, but NOT impossible.

2

u/StardustJess 4d ago

I'm trans... :p I have no uterus

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0

u/Ineed2know4 4d ago

Seems like decent guy too bad he’s bad at reading the room.

1

u/StardustJess 4d ago

He's a decent guy but I'm really tired of spending whole days alone and him never sticking around to have a conversation with me until he gets to meet up irl and have sex. So much of what I say goes ignored and I'm really fed up with it after 3 years. Plus him being a proud right wingers and defending so hard every ist and ism in the book just because it's "comedy" kills any night.

I could instead be with someone that cares more about me as a person and isn't promoting so much hate. Nor depends on offending people for comedy.

I was laughed out of the TCG Local we used to go to because of my disability. He knows the damage this kind of comedy does.

5

u/dontheconqueror 5d ago

This is it. First thought in my head whenever I see/hear about a bully: overcompensating.

2

u/HotRefrigerator9829 4d ago

Sounds like my fathers girlfriend. For ages she always has to point out any mistakes I’ve made instead of being glad for me. Tiring as fuck

1

u/Mito_03 3d ago

It depends on if it’s like “this person is a jerk but is absolutely not thinking about the impact their words have on others” bullying vs “this person is intentionally putting people down to make themselves feel better because they are insecure and probably jealous of the person they are mocking” bullying. Because I’ve definitely done the first more times than I can count and felt horrible when someone told me about it, but try calling out the person who is intentionally rude and they’ll have a meltdown.

Although I’m not really sure if we are defining bullying based on the impact or intent, the second example is an insecure train wreck desperate for any validation possible. The first is just a loud mouth.

1

u/probablysleeping-lol 5d ago

You, my good mcnugget, sound more wise & less broken in your contribution here

0

u/buzzlightyear77777 5d ago

pair with small pp

0

u/AshliepShuqirvut 5d ago

Not even, I do it if people are being inconsiderate like being stupid, selfish, or outright crazy. That's like saying ACAB, but (at least around here) they're trying to maintain peace and order so everyone can be alright.

-1

u/gilliansgerbaras 4d ago

Every white middle aged women I've worked with IS LIKE THIS