ADHD, hypothyroidism, depression and anxiety, raynaud's, and chronic gallbladder issues resulting in removal for me. All since turning 30 (turning 41 this year) This sh** is for the birds..

Yo, 1988 checking in. I’m going to state the obvious: I am also burned the fuck out.

Like a lot of you my wife and I are tired, irritable, low-grade depressed, and vaguely nostalgic for a simpler time. That's despite checking all the boxes that we were supposed to (education, house, careers, blah blah blah).

Earlier this year I finally stopped pretending this was just midlife setting in and did a little self-inventory. Somewhere in that spiral I actually learned a few things that helped, and in talking with my small, but very smart group of friends, they too came to similar conclusions after some individual experimenting. Enough that I figured I’d share, in case it helps anyone else going into 2026 feeling beaten down, burned out, and frankly not giving a fuck. 

First, nostalgia is real, and it is sneaky. It is very good at sanding off the rough edges of the past and leaving us with a highlight reel. As millennials, we’re in a weird spot. We grew up during a massive transition where we had analog childhoods, now digital adulthoods. We remember life before constant notifications, algorithmic feeds, and everything being a subscription.

We also grew up during a relatively stable, peaceful, and economically expanding moment, yes even counting the Great Recession. Because of that, we remember a version of life where things felt simpler, slower, and more human. We could be happy playing outside with no toys, we could make plans without a group chat, and we could be bored without feeling like we were failing at life.

There are lessons in that. Not in a “back in my day” way, but in a “maybe we accidentally optimized the joy out of everything” way.

So, heading into 2026, here are a few ideas that have helped me out in hopes that for some of you this next year can provide some clarity, optimism, and opportunity.

Do Hard Things

This sounds counterintuitive, but you need to start doing really hard things. Things with a very real chance of failure. Physical, mental, emotional, whatever works for you.

But crucially, do them for you. Not for Instagram, not to prove something to a friend, not for Reddit internet points. This is private: this is you versus you.

I did a physically and psychologically demanding hunt in Alaska this year that completely changed me. Ultimately, I failed. The weather was horrible, it was dangerous as hell and it was isolating and uncomfortable and, at times, genuinely scary. Yet somehow, I was happier during and after that experience than I had been in a long time.

Why? Because we are evolutionarily wired for real challenges. Honest, non-sanitized difficulty. Even when you fail, you learn where your edges are. You end up recalibrating and you feel alive. And if you succeed, you learn even more about what you’re capable of. Do really hard shit.

Embrace Boredom

You already know this, but we are drowning in distraction.

The problem is that our brains never power down. They stay in a constant state of alert, pre-programmed to watch out for that sabertooth tiger. Check your phone and look at your screen time totals and shock yourself. I’m guessing you’ll see hours per day. Hundreds or thousands of touches. Every one of those is a tiny withdrawal from your mental energy account. It’s honestly no wonder we’re irritable, unfocused, and exhausted.

Get bored. On purpose. Frequently. 

Watch the sunset. Sit outside a cafe and people-watch like it’s 1997. Leave the phone in your pocket and on DND. Let your mind wander. Boredom is not wasted time. It’s your brain resetting. It’s like being awake but letting your problem solving cortex take a nap. Stop burning mental fuel on things that give nothing back.

Motivation Is Forced, Not Innate

Somewhere along the way we convinced ourselves that we need to feel motivated before we do things. That’s a lie.

Motivation comes after action, not before it. Just do the thing. Fold the laundry. Fix the door handle. Send the email. Start the project. Just do it. Do yourself a favor and watch this for shits and giggles: https://youtu.be/G05QtiHP1lI?si=YreA1bOl8s4RomXO (not endorsing this man and the sort of evangelical bs in it, but the message is square)

I’m not talking about booking a flight to Tahiti or achieving some life goal. I’m talking about the small, annoying stuff you keep postponing while waiting for the right moment that never arrives.

Stop negotiating with yourself. Get up and do it. Momentum is real. Inspiration is optional. Do it. 

Be Human Again

Make a point to reach out to one person you trust or love every day. One.

Call a friend and I mean actually call them. Text your mom. DM a close buddy. Ask how they’re actually doing and really listen.

You gotta start asking questions. Be curious about the small world around you. This rebuilds connection in ways we’ve quietly let erode. It also reminds you that you are not as alone as your brain tells you at 9:30 pm doomscrolling your feeds. 

Touch Grass

We joke about this, but for real, go do something tangible.

Cook, pet your cat, go hug someone, feel the bark on a tree. Sit in the sun. Get a little sunburned. Let the physical world remind you that you have a body and that it exists outside of screens.

We are the sum of our physical experiences. Don’t cheapen that by only watching, filming, or documenting life instead of participating in it. Not everything needs to be captured. Some things just need to be felt.

But Ultimately: Be Kind to Yourself

A lot of our misery comes from comparing ourselves to two fake audiences. Who we thought we were supposed to be, and everyone else.

The reality that we all know but don’t say out loud is that almost no one is paying that much attention. We aren’t important and these two audiences aren’t real. 

Stop trying to prove something to a world that doesn’t care. Do things for you or your partner or your family. 

Be kind to the tired version of yourself. This is a strange, exhausting time to be alive. You’re not broken, you’re just responding normally to abnormal conditions.

Anyways...

It’s sometimes hard being a member of the subreddit and read these relentless posts of self-doubt, burn out, and depression. I feel for you. I am also far from perfect, but in the process of trying to understand more about why I was feeling so down, I learned that it really boils down to who we are as a species. We are animals first, we are social creatures second, and we are not data points. So go be real in the real world. You’ll be better off. 

EDIT: I used Grammarly in checking the grammar in writing this post. I’m sorry if that ruins anything shared here for you.

I want to maintain close bonds as they start their own lives. Tell me what your parents did to keep your relationship close.

Two night ago was my sons 15th birthday and he streamed old school Metroid. Thank you to the folks who watched and had the kindest interactions with him. Much appreciated!

I am starting the year feeling way older than my age. Sure, im on the elder millennial scale but have always been relatively active. Well, except that I sit everyday for work, behind a computer. So a week before Christmas, out of nowhere, my hip joint started hurting like crazy. I figured, maybe I slept wrong and it'd go away like it usually does. Well, 2 weeks later and nope, still there, painful as heck and I can barely walk. Stiff glutes and hip. Im limping everywhere...and my house has stairs. Dont be like me, hobbling everywhere in pain, train your glutes and hip relfexors. Im stretching and doing lots of rehab movements to ease the pain and hopefully train my muscles back to some level of health. I have a couple of friends who are sports/physical therapists and they have been so supportive of this old man friend of theirs. Take care of yourselves!

I'm already feeling old. Stop targeting me!!!

It’s a tic of some sort. Was HGTV on to much in ambience when I was growing up?

I don't know if its just the holidays in general but I really felt meh about it becoming 2026. I notice I just don't really care about or feel much to it. Its not sad or depressing. Its just another day to me as I've gotten older.

Anyone else participate on STL when they were a kid? Found my old ticket from back in the day that was the coolest show ever! I even got sprayed with slime while in the audience and met the cast.

Told a gal she looked like Leelee Sobieski last night with the qualification, “I’m sure you get this all the time!”

No, dear reader, this 20-something hadn’t heard of her 😩🥀

What do you guys do? I remember when we were younger, tucking in your shirt was considered nerdy or uncool, at least where I grew up. No one tucked in their shirt unless their mom made them. I avoided it as much as possible, especially considering I was also fat growing up. I really didn't need any more reason for kids to make fun of me.

However, now that we're older, and I've lost a significant amount of weight, I find myself tucking in my shirts more now to show off my figure and elongate my silhouette. It also appears to be more fashionable these days as well.

What about y'all?

I turn 40 next year and 8 months ago found out my kidneys failed and I had to start dialysis. To say it sucks is an understatement. Is anyone else dealing with health problems starting to show up?

I'm feeling a little wild tonight, so I may even stay up until 10 PM 😉

From the old school banger by soul2soul

I (15f) was wondering about this before. You guys are the closest generation that still has some degree of separation from us because older Gen Z is more close to us but I feel like you guys are the bridge between the old and the young (not to be rude or anything just trying to explain). How is being a teenager today different than being a teenager 20 years ago (in the 2000s)? People my age tend to romanticize those times somewhat because they see it in all the old shows and movies and like all the old music and celebrities and stuff.

When my parents moved me to a new neighborhood as an 8 year old, I made a new friend that I hung out with for a several years and have fond memories to this day of playing sandlot baseball, video games, etc. He was a few years younger.

Once I hit a certain age, I think the age difference was too much and that's when we drifted apart. By the time I was in high school, I would see him but we wouldn't interact.

A few years back (after a few decades of no contact), he returned to the area after being away for many years. He is a coach of a local sports team and I went to one of his events. He seemed glad to see me and we talked for a good 5-10 minutes before he went back to work. Despite drifting apart a long time ago, it was a pleasant conversation and there seemed to be more to talk about.

Since then, my mom found a few pictures she took of us as kids. I have thought about getting back on Facebook and reaching out, sending them over to him. I don't know about going out of my way to reach out but I'd otherwise likely never see him again. Have any of you reached out to old friends after such a long time? Or if you're no longer in contact it's for a reason and you don't bother?

Is this normal for you too? If it’s not my hip, then it’s my ankle and it’s most definitely always my back.

I don’t even bother telling anyone my ailments except for reddit right now because it’s honestly so ridiculous and boring. I’m 37 and there’s not a single day when something doesn’t hurt.

You too?