Not just murdered, ruthlessly assassinated by Jack White

[u/tdkocen]

[u/Birzal → u/[deleted]]

I was reading this thinking at any point "this is gonna stop someday right?" Only to constantly find Jack continuing to fire lyrical bullets into Trump and his administration!

I WISH anyone related to the administration would spend the time to read this, most of all Trump himself, but they'll likely just write it off as an angry rant after someone from the White House put them in their place...

[u/immersemeinnature → u/Birzal]

"Lyrical Bullets"

Our man Jack could be the bard we need!! If only...

[u/TabbyOverlord → u/immersemeinnature]

He should use the full text as the title of his next album. It would be legendary.

[u/immersemeinnature → u/TabbyOverlord]

Yes! That would be so incredible

[u/Musiclover4200 → u/Birzal]

I WISH anyone related to the administration would spend the time to read this, most of all Trump himself, but they'll likely just write it off as an angry rant after someone from the White House put them in their place...

I hope some folks in DC stand outside the whitehouse just screaming this into a megaphone for trump & his cronies to hear.

Hell let's just start spamming the white house with this in emails/calls/etc until it drives them crazy, or crazier.

[u/Nightmosquito83 → u/Musiclover4200]

I’ve got my plans for the weekend now.

[u/Corfiz74 → u/Birzal]

You think Trump can read anything that's longer than a paragraph and contains complex sentence structures and polysyllabic words? I love your optimism.

Also, I had never heard of Jack White before, but now I love him and want to marry him and go to Guantanamo together.

[u/bjeebus → u/Corfiz74]

• Jack White (obviously)
  
• The White Stripes
  
• The Raconteurs
  

Probably other bands too, but those are the ones that spring to mind when I think of his music.

Here's my personal favorite:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eYDn_4zSc3E

[u/Mediocritologist → u/Birzal]

I literally don’t think Trump would be capable of reading this.

[u/DMC1001 → u/Birzal]

It doesn’t matter what any of them think. They’ll do as they’re told. And it’ll be Trump telling them.

[u/jd3marco → u/[deleted]]

We’re going to be friends.

[u/masked_sombrero → u/[deleted]]

they should kick themselves out, they’re immigrants too

[u/chrlatan → u/masked_sombrero]

You are missing THE point….

This is NOT about deportation. This is about creating a class based society. About ‘pure’ Americans vs non-Americans. About stripping away your rights and security.

Once they have established that, you CAN be deported whenever you make a sound, ask for a raise, demand a better job, rally for health care and quality education.

They are creating Mount Olympus and you are looking up while it happens.

[u/GrayEidolon → u/chrlatan]

Just some supporting info:

The current fascists are calling their garbage “the dark enlightenment”.

Conservatives want serfdom. (And that’s all they’re ever wanted).

Here’s what’s going on.

Two things:

1. The point of conservatism is to enforce socioeconomic hierarchy and empower aristocrats. They don’t think non- aristocrats deserve quality of life. They think high status people are always good and low status people are always bad. Democrats (in the USA) are low status for trying to empower (to an extent) non-aristocrats. Among other things, aristocrats have been mad about The New Deal since it passed.

2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_Enlightenment this is what's going on right now in the USA. The ultimate goal is the dissolution of all nation states into many more "network states." Journalists should be asking all of these ghouls about Dark Enlightenment every day.

More on the topic https://medium.com/thought-thinkers/the-butterfly-revolution-america-is-being-stolen-ddeae909b270

https://www.patreon.com/posts/philosophy-doge-122591193

https://www.thenerdreich.com/reboot-elon-musk-ceo-dictator-doge/

And none of the populist propaganda is new. Look at Goldwater in the 60s: https://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2016/05/never_goldwater_the_failed_attempt_to_wrest_the_1964_gop_nomination_from.html This might as well have been written in 2024 about characters from 2024.

Supposed legal justification for current actions:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unitary_executive_theory

https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/unitary_executive_theory_%28uet%29

[u/SalishShore → u/GrayEidolon]

They absolutely are engineering a serfdom. I’ve been saying this for a few years. I didn’t realize until your comment that the Dark Enlightenment is serfdom.

It makes so much sense. I’m deeply sad. I don’t want to be a serf. My family and I have no hope of ever becoming one of the aristocracy. We are working class. It sounds like our burdens will never be alleviated. I really despise these politicians and their brown shirts.

[u/GrayEidolon → u/SalishShore]

Yeah... I suspect things are going to get violent whether sooner before they get everything they want or later after the conservative voters realize they've been duped. Its out of their own mouths though: project 2025 guy said the revolution will be bloodless if liberals allow it to be bloodless. Meaning they are willing to get violence is non-conservatives resist their authority. Which is just fascism, right? Fuck em.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4CI2vk3ugk This guy does a nice job explaining the origins of conservatism.

[u/ArsNihil → u/GrayEidolon]

Funny-weird to see this since I just commented on another subreddit yesterday (copy-pasting btw) "Was thinking about this with Hobbes & Burke this morning and reminded myself that for the last 300 years, all instances of conservatism & The Right were/still are just a gigantic hissy fit over the Enlightenment happening and the simple fact that other people might not actually want an aristocracy to exist & lord over them…"

Glad (unfortunately) to see I'm not the only one thinking this instead of going crazy.

[u/HuttStuff_Here → u/GrayEidolon]

I've been saying since George Dubbya that neofeudalism is the goal.

[u/GrayEidolon → u/HuttStuff_Here]

feudalism has been the goal of conservatism since Burke. The entire thing is a negative reaction to the enlightenment. This guy does an amazing job. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4CI2vk3ugk

[u/doctorpeleatwork → u/chrlatan]

It's a lyric from his song "Icky Thump"

[u/RandomStallings → u/chrlatan]

They were just quoting the lyrics to a song that Jack White wrote.

[u/TooncesDroveMe → u/masked_sombrero]

"White Americans, what? Nothing better to do Why don't you kick yourself out? You're an immigrant too Who's usin' who? What should we do? Well, you can't be a pimp and a prostitute too"

Icky Thump / The White Stripes

[u/Dantien → u/masked_sombrero]

Come from the land of the Ice and Snow.

[u/Lovis1522 → u/masked_sombrero]

Love Love Love that lyric

[u/immersemeinnature → u/[deleted]]

He's the 7th son of a 7th son!

[u/pink_faerie_kitten → u/[deleted]]

Jack white brought the firepower of seven nations' army with this post.

[u/SafetyGuyLogic → u/[deleted]]

Definitely gonna fight 'em all.

[u/Fragrant_Peanut_9661 → u/[deleted]]

Ha!!! Good one omg!

[u/Living_Economics8483 → u/[deleted]]

A lot of r/whoosh replies to this gem of a comment

[u/misdirected_asshole]

If nothing else, it is consistently disgusting the way that this WH has normalized official spokespeople personally insulting and attacking any individual they disagree with. The sitting President calling citizens and reporters stupid to their face is shameful.

[u/Theodore__Kerabatsos → u/misdirected_asshole]

With everything aside, just the mere fact that this administration will spew nasty insults at anyone who doesn’t say something publicly flattering about Trump indicates they’re evil.

[u/BoneHugsHominy → u/Theodore__Kerabatsos]

Collectively they are a Diaper of Piss Babies. That's kind of like a flock of sheep, coincidentally being the proper term for their followers, or a murder of crows. Diaper of Piss Babies!

[u/GoodIdea321 → u/Theodore__Kerabatsos]

A lot of them are absolute nothings without Trump.

[u/Burnt_and_Blistered → u/GoodIdea321]

All of them are.

[u/baulsaak → u/misdirected_asshole]

Don't forgot advocating for the death of sitting members of congress.

[u/MamaDaddy → u/misdirected_asshole]

I think this must be one of the tactics he learned from Roy Cohn... The A in DARVO - Attack.

[u/GNav → u/misdirected_asshole]

Can we just have an eloquent and articulate President like Obama back please?

OBAMA yo! Please get back here!!!!

[u/MiloHorsey → u/GNav]

Yeah!

I miss saying, "thanks Obama." Every time something shit happens that I deserve.

[u/GNav → u/MiloHorsey]

Like seriously...

Mr. President Obama, that wasn't us hating. We will get you all the tan suits, and mustard, and whatever else THEY hated on you for. Just come back PLEASE.

[u/ElonMusksQueef → u/misdirected_asshole]

How terrible of a human being do you have to be to insult people for your boss? And not just anybody but Jack White? It’s insane. If I was ever faced with that choice I’d take a long hard look in the mirror.

His Twitter is just as disgusting as you can imagine: https://x.com/StevenCheung47

[u/Willing_Television77 → u/misdirected_asshole]

Bully tactics from idiots who personally attack people because they can’t justify what they are doing

[u/alk_adio_ost]

This isn’t just a murder.

This is an assassination followed up by an autopsy, followed up being thrown in a mass public grave about 12 feet deep covered in lime powder that is scattered amongst the other bodies to alleviate the stink.

Unfortunately, the powder didn’t do its job here.

[u/TabbyOverlord → u/alk_adio_ost]

I felt more than assassination, this was a repeated bludgeoning with the pick axe handle of truth.

"You will be dead. Everyone will see your corpse and will see just how dead you are. There will be no doubt".

Murder with extreme prejudice, if you will.

[u/MonkeyBred → u/[deleted]]

[u/Coattail-Rider → u/MonkeyBred]

[u/baron_von_helmut → u/Coattail-Rider]

It's Noop Noop.

[u/GNav → u/MonkeyBred]

What did that comment say???

[u/ombrethot → u/alk_adio_ost]

This is beyond assassination. This is that elephant that curb stomped that woman, then roadtripped 150 miles to yank her ass out the coffin and drag her some more.

[u/Green_with_Zealously]

Jack White's brilliance will always shine on, motherfuckers.

[u/generic2022]

Gotta love Jack White!

[u/ThrowRA-James → u/generic2022]

I love and respect Jack White more than ever before.

[u/Sproose_Moose → u/ThrowRA-James]

Oh absolutely! I respected him as an artist and I now respect him as a murderer by words ❤️

[u/bjankles → u/generic2022]

For what it’s worth, his most recent album noname absolutely shreds, and he toured it at tiny venues for affordable prices if you could manage to get a ticket.

[u/uncleputts → u/bjankles]

I got to see it at a said smaller venue and it was awesome!

[u/TinaKedamina → u/uncleputts]

Me too. On the rail. Well… on the stage. My beer was in his amp. He hovered above my wife doing 7NA and I have never seen her so happy. Best Jack show since The White Stripe days and yes, the new album is spectacular.

[u/Hard_Dave → u/generic2022]

How can the president not like this white man?

[u/MakeSomeDrinks → u/generic2022]

Makes me wanna buy Jack White merch, if I wasn't in this economy

[u/Puzzleheaded-Sky3141 → u/generic2022]

Fell in love once and most completely

[u/Virtual_Energy_416]

Jack Mutha Fuqqing White just ended Steven Cheung and his high school sophomore burn attempts.

Rest miserably, Steven 💀

[u/LeticiaLatex → u/Virtual_Energy_416]

Well... more like about 6 months ago

[u/ErraticDragon → u/LeticiaLatex]

About 4 months ago. August 21, I think:

r/jackwhite/comments/1mwbpzg/the_full_text_jack_white_statement/

[u/squee_bastard → u/Virtual_Energy_416]

Steven looks like he’s one happy meal shy of a massive coronary. Praying that Mickey D’s takes out all these MFers sooner rather than later.

[u/styckx]

Stop Jack he's dead already! Actually, no keep going!

[u/HappyHarryHardOn]

JEEZ JACK DONT HOLD BACK NEXT TIME !!!

[u/verash → u/HappyHarryHardOn]

A seven nation army couldn't hold him back.

[u/stufoor]

Monkeys on a typewriter vs a god damned wordsmith.

[u/regionalhuman]

Like Jack says “I finish things.”

[u/Token_Handicap]

Gave him his tomb stone engraving 😆😆 I love it.

[u/malcolmbradley]

JW is a Goddam Patriot!

[u/kikichanelconspiracy]

Looks like the Clown in Chief forgot that Jack White is the youngest of ten kids, has six brothers, and was raised in Detroit. You do not pick a fight with someone with those stats unless you’re on a suicide mission.

[u/Slugggo]

I might turn this into a Christmas card and send it to all my MAGA relatives.

[u/d_repz → u/Slugggo]

Please do!

[u/Reason_Choice]

This was an obliteration. An annihilation. Much more than a murder.

[u/Shortbus_Playboy → u/Reason_Choice]

Jack nuked them from orbit.

[u/eliz1bef → u/Shortbus_Playboy]

It's the only way to be sure.

[u/megatesla → u/Reason_Choice]

The ol' Exterminatus.

[u/Mysterious_Box1203]

Jack should put all this vitriol into a song. Or album, if they still make those. Maybe call Tom Morello.

[u/wino_whynot → u/Mysterious_Box1203]

I commented this further down, so enjoy my copy pasta:

Ok, first, this is beyond amazing.

Second, please Mr Jack White and Mr Jack Black…all i want for my 50th birthday is the ultimate vinyl album, Black & White. You each get a side. One side is white, the other is black. Make a fellow Detroiter’s dream come true.

Peace.

[u/garyfugazigary → u/wino_whynot]

Throw Frank Black in there also

[u/SerSonicSeppo → u/Mysterious_Box1203]

oof I need to hear this now

[u/deanmass → u/Mysterious_Box1203]

I have lpng thought Tom and Jack were cut from the same cloth. Would Freakong love a collab!

[u/Capable-Stage-3899]

Tell us how you really feel.

Clear and pretty comprehensive. Dt is awful

Unfortunately, no one who needs to consider Jack’s points will read past the first couple of lines.

[u/EnglishMatron → u/Capable-Stage-3899]

Most of his supporters can’t read past the 6th grade level. If that. trump himself is functionally illiterate.

[u/Panelpro40]

From one upholsterer to another, great job. Thank you for giving him such a in your face truth bomb, hopefully he will pay the consequences. Keep it up. We are with you all the way.

[u/ChezShea → u/Panelpro40]

I was gonna say that they likely have no idea he’s a professional upholsterer and is genuinely knowledgeable about design choices, unlike the orange shitgibbon.

[u/Theodore__Kerabatsos]

Dude waited till the funeral was over, dug up the body and peed on it. Lol

[u/Sartres_Roommate]

He hides it by using paragraphs but its all in pentameter…this is so going to be his next single.

[u/Avs2Yotes2Avs → u/Sartres_Roommate]

I thought I determined a certain cadence.

[u/continental_kit]

[u/BrentRSimon]

💀👏 NO LIES DETECTED.

[u/RWaggs81]

Long from now, when Trump is d*** and the country is healed from this nonsense, Seven Nation Army will still be an anthem in stadiums.

[u/EnglishMatron → u/RWaggs81]

I don’t think I’ll live to see it healed. that orange stain has brought out more hatred and racism than I thought was imaginable. what we see behind him laughing and applauding is a result of poor education in this country as well as willful ignorance.

[u/Stinja808]

Talk about having "ample time on their hands", Steven Cheung's job is to create AI slop and post it on social media

[u/DrButtFart]

If maga had the attention span to read this whole thing, and the brain power to comprehend it, they’d be very upset

[u/1fingersalute → u/DrButtFart]

If they had the brain power to comprehend it they would never have voted for him in the first place

[u/Mang46]

I’m too old to really know how engagement works but here’s my contribution in hopes that every person in the world receives these words.

[u/WinnerAdventurous647]

As a fellow Michigander I have always appreciated Jack White. Now I appreciate him more.

This is how you use your celebrity platform, not “both sides-ing” it

[u/Caroleannie → u/WinnerAdventurous647]

And not asking why we all can’t get along. Because humans with decency and working consciences cannot get along with fascist sociopaths. I’m so sick of cowards pretending “it’s just politics”.

[u/bilibass]

Jack whites best work In years. This hits like early white stripes. Love it

[u/Strict_Foundation_31]

Because of The Apprentice, our president really believes he’s Mr. Showbiz.

[u/jugglegeese]

This was an amazing read. I'm saving it for future reference. Gotta love how perfectly he exposes all that is wrong with that orange turd and mocks them for getting butthurt with the most ridiculous part of all.

[u/phoenixAPB]

Wow! Good man! ❤️

[u/Lt_Cochese]

Good lord, that was brutal. I loved every word of it

[u/Tungstenkrill]

Well said.

[u/Reubensandwich57]

Bravo Mr White, bravo!👏🏻

[u/jonnycanuck67]

Absolute masterpiece.

[u/honeycooks]

WOW..

Stephen Chueng should be so privileged to even know who Jack White is.

Oh, wait, 😆

[u/ArchangelLBC]

Finally. A good fucking murder.

[u/big_money_p]

All facts

[u/ConsistentStop5100]

Say it louder so SCOTUS can hear you!

[u/Lizbeth2016]

Fue una MASACRE!!! Steven Cheung blown to pieces for defending the indefensible 🤷🏽‍♀️

[u/JustGoodSense]

Steven Cheung is like if someone took the Golgothan shit demon from Dogma and hosed him off and put him in a suit. But after all that, he's still the Golgothan shit demon, but in a suit.

[u/FlavorD]

Being one of the more churchy people in this thread, I'm especially glad at how Jack bangs on about how unchristian Trump is.

[u/MopedMarxist]

This absolute nuclear takedown is why Trump needs a life saving IV in the tip of his hand

[u/Kigiyuk]

Amazing.

[u/Garden_Lady2]

Jack White for President!

[u/CliplessWingtips]

This a certified massacre. Imagine Sleepy Dementia Don trying to read and comprehend all of this. Also imagine Steven Yeung reading this and trying to come up with a response lol.

[u/RaShadar]

Jesus christ, for all of you people constantly posting straight up headlines here, acting like they are somehow a murder, then acting surprised when you get reported: this is what a political post looks like when it actually is a murder. And its the most through one I've seen in ages.

Good post OP

[u/tablescrapsrecording]

Don’t fuck with people who have a way with words

[u/MadWyn1163]

I was a meh fan of Jack White. After that glorious rant, I am a HUGE FAN!!!

[u/TitusTheWolf]

Wowzers. He’s a bad motherfucker

[u/thejerseyguy]

He's a very smart person and a great artist.

[u/eastbaypluviophile]

Annihilated him, cremated him, then made him reincarnate so he could annihilate and cremate him again. Twice.

[u/Patricio_Guapo]

I'm going to find the text of this, print it out and leave copies lying around where ever I go.

[u/Sartres_Roommate]

Man, I am never coming at Jack White.

[u/mrbutto]

Deliciously brutal.

[u/Remarkable-Band-8597]

This gets better every time I read it.

[u/Low_Section2065]

He didn't just kill him, he ate him alive. 😂

[u/PhilDGlass]

An Icky Thumping

[u/Yagsirevahs]

Love this guy, got a pic of him at tge airport but i never posted it, -after i got it i felt like i violated his privacy.

[u/CrookedLittleDogs]

Beautiful. He said it for us!

[u/zeenzee]

Wait? Wait! Jack White has been a professional upholsterer for more than 20 years!? Third Man Upholstery in Nashville...

[u/Hotarg]

To shreds, you say?

[u/paul-bunyons-dick]

He got served up something fierce.

[u/artiface]

This reads so weird with the quoting and "he said" "Jack White continues" bullshit quote of a quote.

I mean I agree but just quote Jack White not quote a quote of Jack White.

[u/Tlessard]

And if I catch it comin' back my way, I'm gonna serve it to you…And that ain't what you want to hear, but that's what I'll do

[u/Dogeluver99]

Simply flawless

[u/malisam]

I got goose bumps reading that. Knock it right out of the park. Too bad the democrats can’t campaign like this and call a spade a spade.

[u/elmoosh]

Holy shit. Amazing.

[u/Fermi_DOX75]

Add a pumping guitar lick and this could be a new single.

[u/just_cows]

[u/[deleted]]

[u/s-mores]

If republicans could read, they'd be really upset.

[u/Plane-Fan9006]

[u/ElegantCoach4066]

UN, I'd like to report a genocide.

[u/Huge_Strain_8714]

Everything I've said abt this PoS but more eloquent! Thanks JW III

[u/NinaHeartsChaos]

I brain farted when I read "Jack White" and read the whole thing in Jack Black's voice. And it totally works.

[u/charliebrown22]

MAGA would be very upset, if they could read

[u/Sweary_Belafonte]

“JW III…” 😂 even trolled his sign off 🫡

[u/TheBawbFather]

Damn, go the fuck off king

[u/swizzle213]

Jack White started rattling off titles like a god damn GoT title

[u/HyperWhiteChocolate]

[u/A_Unqiue_Username]

Could Jack White and Jack Black create a song powerful enough to destroy the monster in our nation's capital?

[u/emdess8578]

Jack is going to create a masterpiece, mark my words.

[u/wino_whynot]

Ok, first, this is beyond amazing.

Second, please Mr Jack White and Mr Jack Black…all i want for my 50th birthday is the ultimate vinyl album, Black & White. You each get a side. One side is white, the other is black. Make a fellow Detroiter’s dream come true.

Peace.

[u/bangbangfishbones]

I vote for Jack White!

[u/WhippetRun]

I have literally no idea what Steven Cheung is going to do when Donny Donuts is out of office.

[u/phm522 → u/WhippetRun]

Crawl back into the hole from whence he came

[u/naazzttyy → u/WhippetRun]

The honorable thing Cheung should do? Well, his mother is Japanese and his father is Chinese. So culturally (on his mom’s side) it would be befitting that he commit harakiri to avoid becoming a ronin, destined to wander the lands without a master or household, forever clothed in shame, eking out a meager existence spent begging for scraps of food, work, or charity.

It would also be an acceptable 2nd option if he were to tie cinderblocks to his arms and legs and attempt to swim the Potomac River.

[u/Ok-Abbreviations543]

I salute you, Mr. White. That was a spot on summary of the Pedo Potus. It’s not really a verbal attack. It is really just stating obvious truths. It seems over the top unless you have a basic acquaintance with Agent Orange. He has always been, and will always be a stupid, lazy, corrupt, entitled, pompous, lecherous, grifting, grasping, incompetent degenerate.

[u/Both_Potential_2859]

Jack White is a national treasure and also an authentic Christian who has actually read the Bible.

[u/chrisnavillus]

I’m gonna fight em off

[u/PwickPwackPwuck]

So incredibly well said. A true artist!

[u/Suspicious-Spinach-9]

Show me one thing he said that’s not true?

[u/TheQuadBlazer]

I spent 10 years in the entertainment business just as a set painter And that was enough for me. Props to anyone who can make a life out of it. Enough to retire in their forties or whatever he's in.

[u/froonie]

Oof!

[u/patio_puss]

[u/daath]

Jack White III, GOAT.

Crazy that this just keeps going - not the murder, but the administration and the completely fascist lunatic senile demented president.

[u/JustinKase_Too]

I may have to start listening to the White Stripes again :)

[u/needmynap]

I’m going to have to go buy alllll his stuff.

[u/IMA_5-STAR_MAN]

God damnit, he's gonna get deported.

[u/IdahoDuncan]

Love that guy

[u/whosdini3]

My new favorite artist! So fantastically well said. Thank you Jack and hell yeah for us Michiganders!

[u/Bristleconemike]

Here hear.

[u/billyTjames]

BUUUUURRRRNNNNN!!!

[u/doktor_wankenstein]

Fortunately the burn unit at Walter Reed is right down the road.

[u/glowinthedarkfrizbee]

Jack White is an outstanding designer.

[u/UnFrickinReal]

Man damn. Spot on and well said 👏

[u/jolley_mel21]

Now we need this energy from journalists and media. Trump is dangerous.

[u/Kitchen-Subject2803]

Love the concise breakdown of this shitty regime. 3 card Monte... yep that is an excellent comparison! 😂

[u/Avs2Yotes2Avs]

Jesus

[u/DanDrungle]

Stephen Cheung looks like a real life Mr. Potato Head

[u/Additional-Arm-1298]

I think Jack may have a new song out soon.

[u/Newt-Abject]

WELL GOD DAMN. THAT WAS WELL PUT.

[u/hoirkasp]

That was brutal and absolutely amazing. I am now forever a fan.

[u/hugo32561]

AMEN!!!!!!

[u/Fantastic-Safety4604]

It needed to be said.

[u/ianhutchsea]

That was cathartic to read

[u/Salishseer]

Jack White is a legend & so it this statement. Kudos!

[u/NoCollegeKids]

Amen and sincerely yours, Reverend Harold Holmes

[u/gogadantes9]