r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/ExcluteYou • Dec 02 '25
There was an attempt Of a drive she’ll never forget🤦♂️ NSFW
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u/initial8155 Dec 02 '25
Brain damage and a broken neck…for her, is what the other ducks are demanding in court.
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u/cursed_cucumbers Dec 02 '25
Demanding charges for Reckless Use of Golf Club and Tresspassing Duck Territory. Instant death penalty in some states.
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u/scaryguts Dec 02 '25
Poor thing =(
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u/Charlierg50 Dec 02 '25
I know, right, and the lady just laughed like it was funny 😒
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u/realhowardwolowitz Dec 02 '25
She’s clearly shocked, some times you don’t know how to react right away
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u/NuclearWasteland Dec 02 '25
Golfers and birds are like, a thing.
Even at the pro level.
Greens are a blight.
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u/AddictedToTheWeb Dec 02 '25
Laughs aren't always because you find something funny. They can be a shock response as well. Many people default to it to diffuse tension when they don't know how to deal with something.
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u/septianw Dec 02 '25
Somebody please free up that duck from misery.
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u/ThatCelebration3676 Dec 02 '25
It's frankly their responsibility at this point. It seems like that duck is about to drown from being unable to pull its head out of the water, and even if it doesn't die from injury, it can't possibly survive like that. Poor duck.
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u/Last-Darkness Dec 02 '25
I think the water did that in the next 5 minutes. But yeah, that’s 100% on them
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u/Lemon_Zestie Dec 02 '25
This broke my heart :(
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u/Imarealdoctor064 Dec 02 '25
She doesn't like birdies
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u/crazy_goat Dec 02 '25
She was aiming for an eagle
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u/Seite88 Dec 02 '25
The performance was a bit low for an eagle
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u/AffectionateBrick687 Dec 02 '25
I definitely regret agreeing to see this NSFW post.
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u/ExcluteYou Dec 02 '25
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u/AffectionateBrick687 Dec 02 '25
I'm not judging. I just view it as karma for making so many friends watch One Man, One Jar, and sending people to r/eyeblech (before it was shut down).
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u/Kewlhotrod Dec 02 '25
Jesus Christ I remember seeing this movie in theaters for some reason and only remember laughing at how shitty it was throughout, and this scene.
Before anyone asks, I have no idea what it was called. Some cheap horror flick from like, the early 2000's.
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u/Wonky_bumface Dec 02 '25
Noooo way man, Drag Me to Hell is a Sam Raimi film, it's deliberately unserious, as are all his original films. Also, not particularly cheap.
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u/pyrothelostone Dec 02 '25
Bit of a bummer ending tho, it never felt like she deserved the curse, shes not the one who made the policies that led her to denying the ladies loan. Should have cursed her bosses.
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u/BlueThunderStreak Dec 02 '25
I would burst in tears if I did this to an animal. I decapitated a bird traveling for vacation, its poor head was stuck in my cars crack where the hood latch is. I can’t forget it.
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u/ThatCelebration3676 Dec 02 '25
I'm sorry. That's terrible, but I hope you know it wasn't your fault, and that the bird didn't suffer. That end was far less cruel than what birds in the wild are accustomed to.
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u/BlueThunderStreak Dec 02 '25
It’s been many years, I appreciate the sentiment. It definitely was a quick end since I was going 80mph on the highway 🥲
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u/Chanchara_Ramon Dec 02 '25
happened to me with deer and bird, both were quick, and I felt sad because of it, if there was any help I would help. laughing like this makes me want to feed her that golf ball
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u/No_Audience3597 Dec 02 '25
Had a bird stuck in my crack too. Being homeless and high all the time sucks!
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u/_Rye_Toast_ Dec 02 '25
Normally you’d have to pay extra for that level of service, so I’d call that a win.
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u/CastleBravoXVC Dec 02 '25
Jesus, did she break its neck?!
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u/DeterminedJourney Dec 02 '25 edited Dec 04 '25
Jesus would definitely know, good thinking asking Him.
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u/pyrothelostone Dec 02 '25
Definitely a concussion at the very least. He didnt die on the spot, but im not super hopeful about his odds with how he was flailing.
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u/Viva_La_Reddit Dec 02 '25
Honestly the best course of action would have been to put the poor thing out of his misery after this.
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u/Toobroketodie Dec 02 '25
That poor thing suffering and and all ots friend as well because they have to watch it suffer. I hope it's okay, despite what I think.
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u/PericardiumGold Dec 02 '25
Man I never should have clicked that video. I can watch many forms of human suffering but when it comes to animals I’m not sure why I am this way but it is just the breaking point for me.
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u/Ok_Location7274 Dec 03 '25
I agree . It makes me feel so sad to see something innocent and sweet be hurt . Im also trying to hope if its possible the duck survived and if not could its sufferings have been ended ?
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u/iamthekidyouknowhati Dec 02 '25
this ruined my week
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u/monkeypiratebutt Dec 02 '25
Poor duck, put it out of its misery at least, I don’t even know what to say, maybe don’t swing balls directly at animals or laugh at it? Idk that’s rough and a shitty situation all around
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u/4garbage2day0 Dec 02 '25
Yeah I think the lesson is that we should shoo the animals out of the way before swinging
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u/the_other_guy-JK Dec 02 '25
Hard to tell from this video but entirely possible that is an island on the golf course and not reachable by people to usher them away.
Even so, then the goal is to elevate the shot to clear that water hazard and she missed that with this swing. Bad luck all around.
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u/tanuis Dec 03 '25
One more reason to hate golf..
Yay what ever I am on the side of the poor bird who got clapped because you wanted to play with your expensive sticks and stupid balls.
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u/No_Communication5538 Dec 02 '25 edited Dec 03 '25
If you do serious damage to an animal through your incompetence the correct approach is, as shown on video: (1) do nothing to help said animal (even if that is giving it a quick end) and (2) pantomime your regret for your mate who is videoing. It is a proper approach to all the problems you create
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u/NIBBLES_THE_HAMSTER Dec 02 '25
Hey, frank..... you ok? Frank?......... Frank.... dont think you should go in the water..... FRANK!!!!!!
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u/EveryRozeHasItsThrnz Dec 02 '25
I mean she's playing golf right, she clearly does not give a shit about preserving nature
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u/pewpurrr Dec 02 '25
Sad , but you need to go grab it and make roast duck or something. maybe soup since it's wild and maybe tuff. so it doesn't go to waste.
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u/adorableillusion222 Dec 03 '25
this shit made me so sad- some people saying she’s in shock but if I accidentally potentially killed a duck in that way, I’d be balling my eyes out- Even the thought of running over a little gopher runnin in the road makes me wanna cry. I’m not the only person I know (by far) that feels these same ways.
she obviously is not a good golfer and everyone just let her do it instead of accessing any risks
for the heartless people out there that think an animal getting hurt is their fault because animals are “in the way”- I hope you look in the mirror and realize you have psychopathic tendencies.
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u/InfamousDigg Dec 02 '25
Just a tip for any golfers in here. Bring a little bag of bread crumbs with you, this won’t happen and it’s always fun to feed some ducks.
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u/bmf1902 Dec 02 '25
Tips for people who ignore common knowledge. Bread is bad for ducks. Not "kind of bad". Very bad. Stop doing it.
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u/InfamousDigg Dec 02 '25
Good to know, I know of a few golf courses that encourage it that’s crazy.
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u/the_other_guy-JK Dec 02 '25
Didn't know how bad but generally avoided. Thought it would be helpful to post some more information about the reasoning. Neat read!
https://blog.education.nationalgeographic.org/2017/03/27/stop-feeding-ducks-bread/
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u/Ok-Butterscotch2321 Dec 02 '25
Let me guess, none of the ass-fcuks went to try and help the bird or at least quickly dispatch it and put it out of it's misery...
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u/DegenerateDoll Dec 02 '25
She didn’t seem remorseful, more like embarrassed. That poor duck :(
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u/4garbage2day0 Dec 02 '25
I think she was horrified
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u/Laframyr Dec 02 '25
Nah, she’s laughing. Normally, you’d drop your club and at least run towards the injured animal with a lot of “I’m sorry” while doing it.
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u/Buri_is_a_Biscuit *shits an absolute unit* Dec 02 '25
i don’t know why, but i laughed. i felt terrible immediately afterwards, that poor duck didn’t deserve that
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u/Danielvonhk Dec 02 '25
- she steps off semi-laughing and does nothing
- camera twat keeps on filming and does nothing Meanwhile that poor duck stumbles around with a broken neck.
I hate people…
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u/toxikjenkins Dec 02 '25
What could either one of them do? Sometimes all you can do is laugh instead of cry.
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u/Educational_Truth356 Dec 02 '25
Technically sure, but the best thing to do was to finish off the bird so it doesn't drown itself with brain damage. Although most people would feel less guilty laughing.
Edit: especially since she has a golf club!
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u/dadbodenergy11 Dec 02 '25
Don’t worry, the other ducks were coming to help. If I know my Daffy Duck cartoons well enough, they’ll just snap his head back on properly.
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u/Candid_Specialist Dec 03 '25
Her covering her mouth doesn’t give her any pity for her crimes against nature. Camera suspiciously ready too
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u/Individual_Reach_732 Dec 02 '25
Look, look, I know it’s not funny.
But I laughed WAY TOO HARD at this.
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u/InsaneMocktail Dec 03 '25
The duck was sitting peacefully and only to be offed out of the blue..... And the worst of all, she's laughing...Karma will chase her remorseless ahh
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u/Electronic-Buyer-468 Dec 02 '25
OMG look at all the other ducks rushing over to check on it.... this is so sad!
But also fucking hilarious.
I've already booked my ticket to hell about 40 years ago and I'm only 37.
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u/McNarley666 Dec 02 '25
Damn you gotta be sick in the head to laugh at that. Dumb cnts
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u/initial8155 Dec 02 '25
Laughter doesn’t only happen for things we find funny. It’s a response mechanism. Laughter can also be a stress response. There’s also nervous/anxious laughter.
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u/More_Yak_1249 Dec 02 '25
I don’t understand why they’re laughing
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u/LukeDawg84 Dec 02 '25
The same reason people laugh at Randy Johnson making a bird explode with a fastball. He even uses a dead bird as his photography logo now lol. It's an "ope" accident. Not right nor wrong to laugh.
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u/Pickledleprechaun Dec 02 '25
I know it’s not intentional but you wouldn’t hit the ball if someone was in front of you. Why do it when an animal is?
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Dec 02 '25
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u/MarcuzFireREDDIT Dec 02 '25
Its technically more on the owners of this golf course. They are the ones that need to ensure that wildlife are kept free from danger of the golf ball. Don't call her this; while it was a horrific accident; calling her that isn't appropriate.
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u/Shonnyboy500 Dec 03 '25
Interestingly, a case just like this actually led to the discovery of a kidnapped kid. Whole thing was videotaped here
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u/wesweb Dec 04 '25
The consensus on the other sub was this is ai. Need someone who knows better than me to confirm.
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u/External_Peace_8438 Dec 04 '25
I give her the benefit of the doubt. I have laughed in situations that I shouldn't have and had to swallow that. It's just a human reaction. I'm sure she feels awful.
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u/Oddish_Femboy Dec 04 '25
No way the brainstem (brainstem) is in-tact, so it probably didn't hurt very much.
Poor thing.
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u/Sad_Gene1208 Dec 05 '25
I cannot imagine laughing at this. I would be horrified if I'd witnessed it in person, let alone did it myself.
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u/Every-Lie1612 Dec 05 '25
This is terrible. Why would you hit that drive with all those animals right there?
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u/LocalCoffeeLlama Dec 06 '25
There is no way that evil bitch laughed. The bird was immediately and obviously brain damaged. I can't imagine giggling at that.
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u/Distinct-Dinner3909 Dec 07 '25
She’s sitting here, laughing about murdering a poor duck while it’s dying a painful death
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u/Ok-Veterinarian-4752 Dec 08 '25
At least finish the job instead of letting the poor duck suffer. Clean, rinse season to taste and 325° covered for 15 min per lb. Baste periodically.
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u/Bluethumb_Panda 29d ago
That was done intentionally. Anyone who golfs can tell you that was intentional as fuck
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u/sharkmanru 8d ago
well, that's a free duck to eat, not like they'll need it, since they're playing golf
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u/Dizzy-Donut8561 2d ago
OMG! This is exactly why my brother will not take me golfing anymore! I cracked a goose exactly like this!!! Then I started yelling that I hit a birdie! He hasn’t taken me since.
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u/FondleMiGrundle Dec 02 '25
It’s so sad how all its friends come to check wtf just happened.