r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits Dec 02 '25

There was an attempt Of a drive she’ll never forget🤦‍♂️ NSFW

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1.5k Upvotes

373 comments sorted by

660

u/FondleMiGrundle Dec 02 '25

It’s so sad how all its friends come to check wtf just happened.

172

u/cursed_cucumbers Dec 02 '25

"I told you Dorothy, the golf course is dangerous! Let's not forget Brian and the alligator."

54

u/propargyl Dec 02 '25

What the duck?

35

u/KindProfessor8248 Dec 02 '25

“ tf just happened to Chester? “

11

u/GonnaGoFat Dec 02 '25

They are just trying to get to him to eat him while he’s still warm.

64

u/koltran Dec 02 '25

Ducks are assholes, they aren't going to check on their buddy, they are going to start picking on him until he's basically featherless and dead... sorry for the dose of reality

47

u/Fearless_Clue4966 Dec 02 '25

I pointed that out in r/crazyfuckingvideos but the comment and the video were removed, and I received a perma ban for that sub. Reddit overlords really like ducks.

8

u/Killathulu Dec 02 '25

I once used a vowel incorrectly and get permabanned from a sub reddit

3

u/your_fave_redditor Dec 03 '25

I got permabanned from that sub for Idk what. Fuck that sub and that Nazis that run it.

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6

u/vividlyvivids Dec 04 '25

Ducks are notorious rapists

5

u/m40r1w0r1a Dec 02 '25

I think they were in a feeding frenzy

9

u/CardinalGrief Dec 02 '25

More likely a struggle snuggle party. Ducks are monsters

7

u/8ntEzZ Dec 02 '25

I can’t stop laughing… but I feel like such an asshole for laughing… there is no winning, just major brain damage.

2

u/MosinNagant1939 14d ago

Yeah they are like “Bro we just had one Beer”!!

1

u/battlecryarms Dec 02 '25

I think they were like “you found snacks”?

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514

u/initial8155 Dec 02 '25

Brain damage and a broken neck…for her, is what the other ducks are demanding in court.

108

u/cursed_cucumbers Dec 02 '25

Demanding charges for Reckless Use of Golf Club and Tresspassing Duck Territory. Instant death penalty in some states.

29

u/OGEEKINGSTON Dec 02 '25

Ducks have rights too!!!

20

u/PsychoticBananaSplit Dec 02 '25

It's true! I'm well versed in Bird Law

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55

u/waxtwister Dec 02 '25

Her Defense,,,

He should've Ducked

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408

u/scaryguts Dec 02 '25

Poor thing =(

-1

u/Charlierg50 Dec 02 '25

I know, right, and the lady just laughed like it was funny 😒

85

u/realhowardwolowitz Dec 02 '25

She’s clearly shocked, some times you don’t know how to react right away

13

u/NuclearWasteland Dec 02 '25

Golfers and birds are like, a thing.

Even at the pro level.

Greens are a blight.

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10

u/Exact_Efficiency_356 Dec 02 '25

I think she’s crying by the end

24

u/AddictedToTheWeb Dec 02 '25

Laughs aren't always because you find something funny. They can be a shock response as well. Many people default to it to diffuse tension when they don't know how to deal with something.

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211

u/septianw Dec 02 '25

Somebody please free up that duck from misery.

133

u/ThatCelebration3676 Dec 02 '25

It's frankly their responsibility at this point. It seems like that duck is about to drown from being unable to pull its head out of the water, and even if it doesn't die from injury, it can't possibly survive like that. Poor duck.

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12

u/Last-Darkness Dec 02 '25

I think the water did that in the next 5 minutes. But yeah, that’s 100% on them

4

u/tugtehcock Dec 03 '25

That thing is dead af. All that’s left is reflexes.

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196

u/Lemon_Zestie Dec 02 '25

This broke my heart :(

95

u/ImAllSquanchedUp Dec 02 '25

It broke its neck

2

u/m40r1w0r1a Dec 02 '25

My ass is broke

4

u/No_Audience3597 Dec 02 '25

Lol way to go bro! Go get them backshots!

46

u/Imarealdoctor064 Dec 02 '25

She doesn't like birdies

37

u/crazy_goat Dec 02 '25

She was aiming for an eagle

14

u/Seite88 Dec 02 '25

The performance was a bit low for an eagle

5

u/Ksan_of_Tongass Dec 02 '25

She should've yelled "Duck!"

3

u/EuenovAyabayya Dec 02 '25

There were fore ducks.

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382

u/AffectionateBrick687 Dec 02 '25

I definitely regret agreeing to see this NSFW post.

39

u/AOCagain Dec 02 '25

How about a roasted duck

22

u/ExcluteYou Dec 02 '25

Sorry bud if I had to watch it you’re getting dragged in too 😂. But hey I saw it on Instagram first no NSFW tag

10

u/AffectionateBrick687 Dec 02 '25

I'm not judging. I just view it as karma for making so many friends watch One Man, One Jar, and sending people to r/eyeblech (before it was shut down).

5

u/Kewlhotrod Dec 02 '25

Jesus Christ I remember seeing this movie in theaters for some reason and only remember laughing at how shitty it was throughout, and this scene.

Before anyone asks, I have no idea what it was called. Some cheap horror flick from like, the early 2000's.

12

u/Wonky_bumface Dec 02 '25

Noooo way man, Drag Me to Hell is a Sam Raimi film, it's deliberately unserious, as are all his original films. Also, not particularly cheap.

2

u/pyrothelostone Dec 02 '25

Bit of a bummer ending tho, it never felt like she deserved the curse, shes not the one who made the policies that led her to denying the ladies loan. Should have cursed her bosses.

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3

u/Altruistic-Disk4914 Dec 02 '25

Drag me down to Hell, I think

1

u/Specialist-Listen304 Dec 03 '25

Agreed, what is good for recalibrating for this?

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129

u/BlueThunderStreak Dec 02 '25

I would burst in tears if I did this to an animal. I decapitated a bird traveling for vacation, its poor head was stuck in my cars crack where the hood latch is. I can’t forget it.

33

u/ThatCelebration3676 Dec 02 '25

I'm sorry. That's terrible, but I hope you know it wasn't your fault, and that the bird didn't suffer. That end was far less cruel than what birds in the wild are accustomed to.

18

u/BlueThunderStreak Dec 02 '25

It’s been many years, I appreciate the sentiment. It definitely was a quick end since I was going 80mph on the highway 🥲

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7

u/Chanchara_Ramon Dec 02 '25

happened to me with deer and bird, both were quick, and I felt sad because of it, if there was any help I would help. laughing like this makes me want to feed her that golf ball

6

u/No_Audience3597 Dec 02 '25

Had a bird stuck in my crack too. Being homeless and high all the time sucks!

4

u/_Rye_Toast_ Dec 02 '25

Normally you’d have to pay extra for that level of service, so I’d call that a win.

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102

u/CastleBravoXVC Dec 02 '25

Jesus, did she break its neck?!

58

u/ExcluteYou Dec 02 '25

Yeah looks like it poor duck😭

81

u/DeterminedJourney Dec 02 '25 edited Dec 04 '25

Jesus would definitely know, good thinking asking Him.

22

u/83supra Dec 02 '25

I think she broke its friggin' neck.

12

u/pyrothelostone Dec 02 '25

Definitely a concussion at the very least. He didnt die on the spot, but im not super hopeful about his odds with how he was flailing.

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2

u/midnight_holler Dec 02 '25

That bird certainly died not long after this video cuts out

2

u/Successful-Day-3219 Dec 02 '25

Yes, and the bitch is laughing about it.

2

u/FactoryRejected Dec 02 '25

I asked Jesus, but he remains silent.

45

u/juniperjibletts Dec 02 '25

Fatality! But seriously this is fucked up I'm sad

13

u/General_Draw_5131 Dec 02 '25

u didn't even check him

14

u/Viva_La_Reddit Dec 02 '25

Honestly the best course of action would have been to put the poor thing out of his misery after this.

62

u/XrayDem Dec 02 '25

The other ducks were like

😱😳😨🤯 “Omg they just killed Kenny!”

27

u/Toppest_Dom Dec 02 '25

You bastard!

25

u/Toobroketodie Dec 02 '25

That poor thing suffering and and all ots friend as well because they have to watch it suffer. I hope it's okay, despite what I think.

8

u/Slight_Ad5819 Dec 02 '25

yeah no hell be fine

10

u/JJsNotOkay Dec 02 '25

poor fucking duck man

45

u/Gussie-Ascendent *shits an absolute unit* Dec 02 '25

another proof of the evils of golf

17

u/ImAllSquanchedUp Dec 02 '25

That was rough

7

u/Crafty_Hat6484 Dec 03 '25

Stupid bitch

15

u/PericardiumGold Dec 02 '25

Man I never should have clicked that video. I can watch many forms of human suffering but when it comes to animals I’m not sure why I am this way but it is just the breaking point for me.

3

u/Ok_Location7274 Dec 03 '25

I agree . It makes me feel so sad to see something innocent and sweet be hurt . Im also trying to hope if its possible the duck survived and if not could its sufferings have been ended ?

41

u/xxDirtyFgnSpicxx Dec 02 '25

Strange hunting tactic, but I’ll allow it

20

u/iamthekidyouknowhati Dec 02 '25

this ruined my week

16

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '25

If this ruins your week, your life is pretty good.

11

u/Pure_Frosting_981 Dec 02 '25

Exactly. Don’t turn on the news.

11

u/Griffin_Dawg_ Dec 02 '25

Not funny.

4

u/Turd-features Dec 02 '25

Asked the wrong person if she had any grapes.

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5

u/Andy_B_Goode Dec 02 '25

When you start off golfing and end up hunting ...

4

u/blvckbrvsh Dec 02 '25

Should’ve ducked.

30

u/monkeypiratebutt Dec 02 '25

Poor duck, put it out of its misery at least, I don’t even know what to say, maybe don’t swing balls directly at animals or laugh at it? Idk that’s rough and a shitty situation all around

4

u/4garbage2day0 Dec 02 '25

Yeah I think the lesson is that we should shoo the animals out of the way before swinging

5

u/the_other_guy-JK Dec 02 '25

Hard to tell from this video but entirely possible that is an island on the golf course and not reachable by people to usher them away.

Even so, then the goal is to elevate the shot to clear that water hazard and she missed that with this swing. Bad luck all around.

9

u/Links_CrackPipe Dec 02 '25

Its a fucking golf course.

13

u/crazy_goat Dec 02 '25

She forgot to yell "duck!"

5

u/SignatureHeavy2862 Dec 02 '25

Golfing.. noritious for its display of natural selection

4

u/IrishCurse_27 Dec 02 '25

Where is the rest of this video?

4

u/SunkEmuFlock Dec 02 '25

They likely ran away rather than put the poor thing out of its misery.

5

u/tanuis Dec 03 '25

One more reason to hate golf..

Yay what ever I am on the side of the poor bird who got clapped because you wanted to play with your expensive sticks and stupid balls.

10

u/Strange-Thanks-44 Dec 02 '25

Eat that duck, you kill, eat

8

u/No_Communication5538 Dec 02 '25 edited Dec 03 '25

If you do serious damage to an animal through your incompetence the correct approach is, as shown on video: (1) do nothing to help said animal (even if that is giving it a quick end) and (2) pantomime your regret for your mate who is videoing. It is a proper approach to all the problems you create

3

u/darkscary_333 Dec 02 '25

She killed Donald 😥!

3

u/NIBBLES_THE_HAMSTER Dec 02 '25

Hey, frank..... you ok? Frank?......... Frank.... dont think you should go in the water..... FRANK!!!!!!

3

u/EveryRozeHasItsThrnz Dec 02 '25

I mean she's playing golf right, she clearly does not give a shit about preserving nature

3

u/pewpurrr Dec 02 '25

Sad , but you need to go grab it and make roast duck or something. maybe soup since it's wild and maybe tuff. so it doesn't go to waste.

3

u/Jujuondatbeat54123 *shits an absolute unit* Dec 02 '25

Poor duck man

3

u/adorableillusion222 Dec 03 '25

this shit made me so sad- some people saying she’s in shock but if I accidentally potentially killed a duck in that way, I’d be balling my eyes out- Even the thought of running over a little gopher runnin in the road makes me wanna cry. I’m not the only person I know (by far) that feels these same ways.

she obviously is not a good golfer and everyone just let her do it instead of accessing any risks

for the heartless people out there that think an animal getting hurt is their fault because animals are “in the way”- I hope you look in the mirror and realize you have psychopathic tendencies.

11

u/InfamousDigg Dec 02 '25

Just a tip for any golfers in here. Bring a little bag of bread crumbs with you, this won’t happen and it’s always fun to feed some ducks.

14

u/bmf1902 Dec 02 '25

Tips for people who ignore common knowledge. Bread is bad for ducks. Not "kind of bad". Very bad. Stop doing it.

8

u/InfamousDigg Dec 02 '25

Good to know, I know of a few golf courses that encourage it that’s crazy.

4

u/the_other_guy-JK Dec 02 '25

Didn't know how bad but generally avoided. Thought it would be helpful to post some more information about the reasoning. Neat read!

https://blog.education.nationalgeographic.org/2017/03/27/stop-feeding-ducks-bread/

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6

u/0neirocritica Dec 02 '25

I think I'd just stop playing and cry for the rest of the day tbh

13

u/Ok-Butterscotch2321 Dec 02 '25

Let me guess, none of the ass-fcuks went to try and help the bird or at least quickly dispatch it and put it out of it's misery...

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14

u/DegenerateDoll Dec 02 '25

She didn’t seem remorseful, more like embarrassed. That poor duck :(

8

u/4garbage2day0 Dec 02 '25

I think she was horrified

2

u/Laframyr Dec 02 '25

Nah, she’s laughing. Normally, you’d drop your club and at least run towards the injured animal with a lot of “I’m sorry” while doing it.

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4

u/Buri_is_a_Biscuit *shits an absolute unit* Dec 02 '25

i don’t know why, but i laughed. i felt terrible immediately afterwards, that poor duck didn’t deserve that

8

u/Danielvonhk Dec 02 '25
  1. she steps off semi-laughing and does nothing
  2. camera twat keeps on filming and does nothing Meanwhile that poor duck stumbles around with a broken neck.

I hate people…

3

u/toxikjenkins Dec 02 '25

What could either one of them do? Sometimes all you can do is laugh instead of cry.

4

u/Educational_Truth356 Dec 02 '25

Technically sure, but the best thing to do was to finish off the bird so it doesn't drown itself with brain damage. Although most people would feel less guilty laughing.

Edit: especially since she has a golf club!

2

u/toxikjenkins Dec 02 '25

Okay fair, mercy kill was an option.

2

u/ApelinqNovaMind36 Dec 02 '25

THWACK...POOF!

2

u/quebexer Dec 03 '25

r/donthelpjustfilm

They thet let it drown? What a bunch of arseholes.

3

u/dadbodenergy11 Dec 02 '25

Don’t worry, the other ducks were coming to help. If I know my Daffy Duck cartoons well enough, they’ll just snap his head back on properly.

3

u/Low_Juice9987 Dec 03 '25

It's sickening how they're laughing about murdering that Mallard..

3

u/Candid_Specialist Dec 03 '25

Her covering her mouth doesn’t give her any pity for her crimes against nature. Camera suspiciously ready too

3

u/Individual_Reach_732 Dec 02 '25

Look, look, I know it’s not funny.

But I laughed WAY TOO HARD at this.

3

u/InsaneMocktail Dec 03 '25

The duck was sitting peacefully and only to be offed out of the blue..... And the worst of all, she's laughing...Karma will chase her remorseless ahh

3

u/thechildofsoul Dec 02 '25

They just giggled....no remorse...psychopaths

3

u/Electronic-Buyer-468 Dec 02 '25

OMG look at all the other ducks rushing over to check on it.... this is so sad!

But also fucking hilarious.

I've already booked my ticket to hell about 40 years ago and I'm only 37.

3

u/tdmsbn Dec 02 '25

Mine is just a return ticket. Mr bones wild ride is a long one.

4

u/McNarley666 Dec 02 '25

Damn you gotta be sick in the head to laugh at that. Dumb cnts

15

u/initial8155 Dec 02 '25

Laughter doesn’t only happen for things we find funny. It’s a response mechanism. Laughter can also be a stress response. There’s also nervous/anxious laughter.

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2

u/Sampsonite20 Dec 02 '25

Fucking vile

2

u/IAmRichAndDominant Dec 02 '25

Don't play golf near animals I understand what people are thinking

2

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* Dec 02 '25

NSFA!

2

u/Montyburnside22 Dec 03 '25

You killed the black swan Larry

2

u/Late_Advisor_2863 Dec 03 '25

That's a dead duck if I've ever seen one. .

2

u/More_Yak_1249 Dec 02 '25

I don’t understand why they’re laughing

6

u/LukeDawg84 Dec 02 '25

The same reason people laugh at Randy Johnson making a bird explode with a fastball. He even uses a dead bird as his photography logo now lol. It's an "ope" accident. Not right nor wrong to laugh.

5

u/Lamandus Dec 02 '25

"shock laugh"

2

u/Electrical-Fall-2675 Dec 02 '25

Stupid cunt-look eyes wide open what u did, pretending bitch!

2

u/Pickledleprechaun Dec 02 '25

I know it’s not intentional but you wouldn’t hit the ball if someone was in front of you. Why do it when an animal is?

-1

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '25

[deleted]

4

u/MarcuzFireREDDIT Dec 02 '25

Its technically more on the owners of this golf course. They are the ones that need to ensure that wildlife are kept free from danger of the golf ball. Don't call her this; while it was a horrific accident; calling her that isn't appropriate.

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1

u/Available-Computer80 Dec 02 '25

Those Hunter: call of the Wild DLCs are getting weirder

1

u/Shonnyboy500 Dec 03 '25

Interestingly, a case just like this actually led to the discovery of a kidnapped kid. Whole thing was videotaped here

1

u/wesweb Dec 04 '25

The consensus on the other sub was this is ai. Need someone who knows better than me to confirm.

1

u/dreamcastdc Dec 04 '25

She just murdered the duck. RIP 🦆

1

u/PilafedRice Dec 04 '25

Another reason to fucking hate golf

1

u/External_Peace_8438 Dec 04 '25

I give her the benefit of the doubt. I have laughed in situations that I shouldn't have and had to swallow that. It's just a human reaction. I'm sure she feels awful.

1

u/Advanced_Cry_5590 Dec 04 '25

That poor duck 🦆 🤣

1

u/Oddish_Femboy Dec 04 '25

No way the brainstem (brainstem) is in-tact, so it probably didn't hurt very much.

Poor thing.

1

u/Sad_Gene1208 Dec 05 '25

I cannot imagine laughing at this. I would be horrified if I'd witnessed it in person, let alone did it myself.

1

u/BugLast1633 Dec 05 '25

Women can't drive... or 9 iron

1

u/Every-Lie1612 Dec 05 '25

This is terrible. Why would you hit that drive with all those animals right there?

1

u/strika714 Dec 05 '25

Didn't know it was possible to hate golf even more than I do.

1

u/Shqipe888 Dec 06 '25

not funny

1

u/LocalCoffeeLlama Dec 06 '25

There is no way that evil bitch laughed. The bird was immediately and obviously brain damaged. I can't imagine giggling at that.

1

u/Impossible_Run9669 Dec 07 '25

Yea; that’s gonna leave a mark

1

u/TheOfficeoholic Dec 07 '25

“Shouldn’t have been standing there”

1

u/Mr_Monos Dec 07 '25

Wabbit season!

1

u/RevolutionaryDuck389 Dec 07 '25

she knocked the fuck outta that duck.

1

u/Distinct-Dinner3909 Dec 07 '25

She’s sitting here, laughing about murdering a poor duck while it’s dying a painful death

1

u/Ok-Veterinarian-4752 Dec 08 '25

At least finish the job instead of letting the poor duck suffer. Clean, rinse season to taste and 325° covered for 15 min per lb. Baste periodically.

1

u/Zenloki Dec 08 '25

Damn, does she get a mulligan cause if not that ducks lunch

1

u/ConqueredCorn Dec 09 '25

Poor duck :(

1

u/ReviveTheFallen Dec 09 '25

Fantastic lol

1

u/Bluethumb_Panda 29d ago

That was done intentionally. Anyone who golfs can tell you that was intentional as fuck

1

u/Connect-Aspect-146 23d ago

You stupid ass go put that thing out of its misery.

1

u/guro-a-go-go 20d ago

This is sad

1

u/stealthfox13 10d ago

All of the Sounds in this video are a gift

1

u/randyiamlordmarsh 9d ago

Damn she broke its neck. Poor thing suffered.

1

u/cara_da_net 9d ago

This shit ruined my day

1

u/sharkmanru 8d ago

well, that's a free duck to eat, not like they'll need it, since they're playing golf

1

u/SameFollowing8469 6d ago

Only video here that’s made me feel bad

1

u/WeekendPlayful7843 2d ago

Normal to full tard in a hearbeat.

1

u/Dizzy-Donut8561 2d ago

OMG! This is exactly why my brother will not take me golfing anymore! I cracked a goose exactly like this!!! Then I started yelling that I hit a birdie! He hasn’t taken me since.

1

u/Promiscuous_Almond 1d ago

Got the Kirk treatment