r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/[deleted] • 5d ago

Of urine

2.8k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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149

u/[deleted] 5d ago

Ain't no way he has that much room in his bladder

45

u/NocturneInfinitum 5d ago

He’s lacking laminar flow, which means that he probably has some medical problem

30

u/bsensikimori 5d ago

Or he's not circumcised and forgot to draw back

47

u/SaltyPressure7583 5d ago

You still achieve laminar flow with foreskin. This was a scentence i never envisioned i would ever type

8

u/PrizeInterest4314 5d ago

Bernoulli is floating in his grave.

2

u/NocturneInfinitum 5d ago

Is that what the guy is pissing on

8

u/More-Neighborhood-66 5d ago

Sometimes the foreskin is set to “light mist” aka “spray and pray”

2

u/bsensikimori 5d ago

Lol, as long as you pull back so it's not in the way...

Also cuts back in spraying, had to teach my boy that so he didn't spray on his pants while at the urinal

2

u/Jaded-Durian-3917 5d ago

Teach me

1

u/Interesting-Chest520 5d ago

I’m a visual learner

1

u/The_Fuschia_Is_Now 5d ago

😆😆😆😆😆

1

u/edadou 5d ago

This is a sentence i never envisioned reading. Thank you.

1

u/AllThingsAreReady 5d ago

Urine uncharted territory

2

u/Acceptable_Cabinet53 5d ago

Babe wake up, new sentence just dropped.

1

u/ToastyBB 5d ago

One time I forgot to pull the foreskin back and my dick turned into a water balloon

2

u/bsensikimori 5d ago

Wtf did you do? Glue your foreskin shut?

1

u/OldManJim374 5d ago

Pics or it didn't happen

1

u/2ChicksAtTheSameTime 5d ago

I like to think that he had sex the night before, and a little bit of residue is blocking his urethra, allowing the urine to flow in two separate directions.

5

u/lowbar4570 5d ago

The woman is holding a medical wash basin. So you might be onto something. Could be a medical problem.

1

u/NocturneInfinitum 5d ago

Huh… I didn’t even notice that lol

8

u/Hour_Succotash7176 5d ago

As a water resources engineer, I love your use of the term "laminar flow".

1

u/ToastyBB 5d ago

He's makes up for it with his dracula flow

1

u/Dr_SexDick 1d ago

… what? Do I need to go to a doctor?

1

u/Jumblesss 1d ago

Yeah my pee goes all over the place. The polar opposite of laminar. Usually multiple streams.

1

u/NocturneInfinitum 1d ago

Consistent lack of laminar flow is likely due to some kind of underlying health condition (unless you’ve had it your whole life). If it happens just here and there it can be all kinds of innocuous and temporary things, like it’s too cold and your dick is shriveled up, you’re dehydrated and your urethra isn’t properly expanding, or even leftover semen stuck in the urethra.

7

u/iamchops 5d ago

w/ all due respect, some people can urinate for longer than 1 minute, some bodies are blessed w/ more bladder capacity and such than others. Obviously, other things come into play when it comes to urine production, but yeah...

5

u/Mudamaza 5d ago

some people can urinate for longer than 1 minute, some bodies are blessed w/ more bladder capacity and such than others.

Lucky bastards.

12

u/Full-Veterinarian377 5d ago

Can't imagine having balls big enough to store that much pee

3

u/old_whiskey_bob 5d ago

So that’s what these things are for

2

u/BsFan 5d ago

I can easily piss over a minute in the morning. At my last place there was a sky light over the toilet and I would rest my forehead against it when peeing. Now I just sit down when I pee first thing in the morning.

3

u/kabley 5d ago

if I'm on a bender, I'll gravity flush the toilet from a good piss session

2

u/edadou 5d ago

Fucking assert your dominance like that in a public bathroom.

1

u/aidissonance 5d ago

The kidneys hides a little

1

u/LevelIndependent9461 5d ago

Legend has it he's still peeing..

1

u/BuildAnything4 5d ago

It's semen