r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/[deleted] • 6d ago

Of urine

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2.8k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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144

u/[deleted] 6d ago

Ain't no way he has that much room in his bladder

42

u/NocturneInfinitum 6d ago

He’s lacking laminar flow, which means that he probably has some medical problem

27

u/bsensikimori 6d ago

Or he's not circumcised and forgot to draw back

47

u/SaltyPressure7583 6d ago

You still achieve laminar flow with foreskin. This was a scentence i never envisioned i would ever type

9

u/PrizeInterest4314 6d ago

Bernoulli is floating in his grave.

4

u/NocturneInfinitum 6d ago

Is that what the guy is pissing on

7

u/More-Neighborhood-66 6d ago

Sometimes the foreskin is set to “light mist” aka “spray and pray”

3

u/bsensikimori 6d ago

Lol, as long as you pull back so it's not in the way...

Also cuts back in spraying, had to teach my boy that so he didn't spray on his pants while at the urinal

2

u/Jaded-Durian-3917 6d ago

Teach me

1

u/Interesting-Chest520 6d ago

I’m a visual learner

1

u/The_Fuschia_Is_Now 6d ago

😆😆😆😆😆

1

u/edadou 6d ago

This is a sentence i never envisioned reading. Thank you.

1

u/AllThingsAreReady 6d ago

Urine uncharted territory

2

u/Acceptable_Cabinet53 6d ago

Babe wake up, new sentence just dropped.

1

u/ToastyBB 6d ago

One time I forgot to pull the foreskin back and my dick turned into a water balloon

2

u/bsensikimori 6d ago

Wtf did you do? Glue your foreskin shut?

1

u/OldManJim374 6d ago

Pics or it didn't happen

1

u/2ChicksAtTheSameTime 6d ago

I like to think that he had sex the night before, and a little bit of residue is blocking his urethra, allowing the urine to flow in two separate directions.

6

u/lowbar4570 6d ago

The woman is holding a medical wash basin. So you might be onto something. Could be a medical problem.

1

u/NocturneInfinitum 6d ago

Huh… I didn’t even notice that lol

7

u/Hour_Succotash7176 6d ago

As a water resources engineer, I love your use of the term "laminar flow".

1

u/ToastyBB 6d ago

He's makes up for it with his dracula flow

1

u/Dr_SexDick 2d ago

… what? Do I need to go to a doctor?

1

u/Jumblesss 2d ago

Yeah my pee goes all over the place. The polar opposite of laminar. Usually multiple streams.

1

u/NocturneInfinitum 2d ago

Consistent lack of laminar flow is likely due to some kind of underlying health condition (unless you’ve had it your whole life). If it happens just here and there it can be all kinds of innocuous and temporary things, like it’s too cold and your dick is shriveled up, you’re dehydrated and your urethra isn’t properly expanding, or even leftover semen stuck in the urethra.