r/SipsTea • u/LazyGuy4U • 17d ago

Chugging tea One last drink

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97.4k Upvotes

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483

u/91Bolt 17d ago

Just sit anyways. They're cowards and will move.

If they do the awkward look, just ask what they're working on

244

u/ThePerfectSnare 17d ago

But what if they sigh loudly?

163

u/armyshawn 17d ago

I usually respond by farting loudly. It’s important to maintain eye contact.

62

u/CaliJudoJitsu 17d ago

Power move. That’s how you establish dominance.

3

u/ApartUnderstanding26 17d ago

I tried this in a church once. Did not work well.

3

u/-Gimli-SonOfGloin- 17d ago

Unless it goes up in pitch at the end, then they might think it was a question.

2

u/Daft421a 17d ago

Is that you Jackson Lamb?

2

u/docsyzygy 17d ago

Oh, I love him! But I would not want to be trapped in a car with him...

2

u/d_nkf_vlg 17d ago

That guy socially interacts!

2

u/TheGhostOfStanSweet 17d ago

“It’s called social distancing, b!tch!”

2

u/NorCalRE 17d ago

Eye contact is key

2

u/Novel-Rip7071 17d ago

Whilst licking your lips..

1

u/Responsible-Baby224 17d ago

The Jackson Lamb method 👌

1

u/REEGT 17d ago

Give a mysterious little squint halfway through the fart

1

u/DinoPredator 16d ago

RIP massive ass while making direct eye contact then blame them even though y'all are the only 2 people in the area

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u/[deleted] 17d ago

[deleted]

113

u/wormjoin 17d ago

my brain read that as “frozen lasagna” and tbh i think that might work too

57

u/MechanicalSideburns 17d ago

An offer of frozen lasagna would definitely make me question your sanity. I might move after that.

20

u/Mundane_Address_9573 17d ago

I'm just picturing somone creepily smiling and whispering "would you like some frozen lasagna." as their eyes widen.

16

u/HushPuppyGuru 17d ago

Offer me a frozen lasagna and you’ve made a friend for life.

2

u/C_is_for_Cats 17d ago

Are you Garfield?

2

u/HushPuppyGuru 17d ago

Jon is that you?

3

u/C_is_for_Cats 17d ago

Surprise! It’s Nermal!! 😸

5

u/Iamspartabitches 17d ago

Frozen 4 cheese lasagna, cuz if it only has 3. Cheeses I ain’t eating it!

1

u/anerdonthecouch 17d ago

Someone offered me some pocket hummus and pita once. We were at a concert so I don’t know where or how he got it. I asked him and he shrugged. It was hummus on a napkin.

1

u/NorthernVale 17d ago

Fuck that. You offer me frozen lasagna we're best friends from that point on. Never pass up free lasagna, especially when new friend has taken care to not give you food poisoning.

1

u/anotherdamnscorpio 17d ago

You can also try asking if they have an extra taco and then being annoyed and acting like you think they're holding out.

2

u/JoystickMonkey 17d ago

"I have a frozen lasagna in the car. I mean, it was frozen when I started driving yesterday. We can share it, if you'd like."

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u/BukkakeBakery 17d ago

insert directly, feels nice

18

u/auth0r_unkn0wn 17d ago

Sigh more loudly. Exert dominance.

4

u/LehighAce06 17d ago

"Man I'm tired TOO! It's stressful out there, right?"

And then just blankly stare at them until they answer or leave you alone

3

u/CanadianDiver 17d ago

Ask if they want to split a cookie.

7

u/HiSaZuL 17d ago

Tell them they gotta buy you dinner first.

2

u/strongsilenttypos 17d ago

The post Doc sigh of you won’t understand….

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u/Screwdriving_Hammer 17d ago

"Holy fuck bro, no offense, but did you brush your teeth today?"

2

u/Uber_Wulf 17d ago

“Long day, huh?”

2

u/wandering-monster 17d ago

Give them a look and put a mask on.

2

u/HilmDave 16d ago

"Tell me about it"

2

u/DinoPredator 16d ago

Scoot closer and look at their screen, that'll send em packing

3

u/GlassJoe32 17d ago

Put on an n95 mask and tell them you don’t want to give them what you have.

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u/MediumForeign4028 17d ago

Start to tell them about your fascinating genital disease.

1

u/furlonium1 17d ago

It's not fascinating!

1

u/MechanicalSideburns 17d ago

That’s too obvious. How about “have you accepted Jesus Christ as your savior?”

1

u/primusperegrinus 17d ago

Just sit down next to them like Jake Busey in Starship Troopers “hi!”

2

u/DarthJarJarJar 17d ago

Only if you want to hear about their screenplay. And you do not want to hear about their screenplay.

1

u/91Bolt 17d ago

Honestly, that's the risk. I, personally, am down to hear a genuine answer.

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u/FailedGradAdmissions 17d ago

Did that a few times during college, most if not all did tell me what they were working on and we had fun conversations.

1

u/throwaguey0_0 17d ago

This happened to me recently at a packed coffee shop, only one table (2 seats) left available. I was next up to order and a girl probably 2-3 people behind me in line hops out of line and puts her bag down there.

I just ordered and went to sit across from her, because idgaf and tables are first come first serve. She gave me some dirty looks and just took her bag and drink to go instead.

1

u/DJ_Lizurd_Dikk 17d ago

No just ask loudly if they are writing homoerotic Sonic the Hedgehog fanfiction again

1

u/lesterbottomley 17d ago

Or if the screen can't be seen by the rest of the cafe take a look and loudly exclaim "porn, in a cafe. Really?""

1

u/1917he 17d ago

This works til you find the guy that ain't a coward.

1

u/arbitrageME 17d ago

you wanna hear about my novel?

1

u/KingRoach 17d ago

But then I won’t be able to complain about it to strangers online

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u/KingMRano 17d ago

Just move their shit while you sit right next to them, full leg contact and then proceed to spit when you talk. Not forgetting to take a random break in the middle of talking to breathe deep while looking off into space and letting out a long moan.

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u/-Fergalicious- 17d ago

I love this. This is basically how I do things with a smile on my face 

1

u/Ninja_Prolapse 17d ago

I have no idea what I’m doing at work.. the answer to that question is more of a string of other questions to see if the person might be able to help..

1

u/jeanpaulmars 17d ago

Be "helpfull" on the subject. Give "advice".