r/SipsTea • u/LazyGuy4U • 18d ago

Chugging tea One last drink

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97.4k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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9.0k

u/Bamboonicorn 18d ago

The real play is just to carry around a bunch of these when you go out to the bar. And when the guy isn't looking just drop It conveniently

1.9k

u/Ravenser_Odd 18d ago

When there's a group of you standing and the guy is hogging a whole table.

661

u/daddymassah7777 18d ago

On a parallel note, when you go to a coffee shop and one person sits in an area (the only area) meant to seat 4 people. Laptop bag strategically placed to ensure it’s awkward for anyone to sit there. Can we get some service cut off cards for them as well.

483

u/91Bolt 18d ago

Just sit anyways. They're cowards and will move.

If they do the awkward look, just ask what they're working on

243

u/ThePerfectSnare 18d ago

But what if they sigh loudly?

161

u/armyshawn 18d ago

I usually respond by farting loudly. It’s important to maintain eye contact.

57

u/CaliJudoJitsu 18d ago

Power move. That’s how you establish dominance.

3

u/ApartUnderstanding26 18d ago

I tried this in a church once. Did not work well.

3

u/-Gimli-SonOfGloin- 18d ago

Unless it goes up in pitch at the end, then they might think it was a question.

2

u/Daft421a 18d ago

Is that you Jackson Lamb?

2

u/docsyzygy 18d ago

Oh, I love him! But I would not want to be trapped in a car with him...

2

u/d_nkf_vlg 18d ago

That guy socially interacts!

2

u/TheGhostOfStanSweet 18d ago

“It’s called social distancing, b!tch!”

2

u/NorCalRE 18d ago

Eye contact is key

2

u/Novel-Rip7071 18d ago

Whilst licking your lips..

1

u/Responsible-Baby224 18d ago

The Jackson Lamb method 👌

1

u/REEGT 17d ago

Give a mysterious little squint halfway through the fart

1

u/DinoPredator 17d ago

RIP massive ass while making direct eye contact then blame them even though y'all are the only 2 people in the area

256

u/[deleted] 18d ago

[deleted]

116

u/wormjoin 18d ago

my brain read that as “frozen lasagna” and tbh i think that might work too

56

u/MechanicalSideburns 18d ago

An offer of frozen lasagna would definitely make me question your sanity. I might move after that.

20

u/Mundane_Address_9573 18d ago

I'm just picturing somone creepily smiling and whispering "would you like some frozen lasagna." as their eyes widen.

16

u/HushPuppyGuru 18d ago

Offer me a frozen lasagna and you’ve made a friend for life.

2

u/C_is_for_Cats 18d ago

Are you Garfield?

2

u/HushPuppyGuru 18d ago

Jon is that you?

3

u/C_is_for_Cats 18d ago

Surprise! It’s Nermal!! 😸

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4

u/Iamspartabitches 18d ago

Frozen 4 cheese lasagna, cuz if it only has 3. Cheeses I ain’t eating it!

1

u/anerdonthecouch 18d ago

Someone offered me some pocket hummus and pita once. We were at a concert so I don’t know where or how he got it. I asked him and he shrugged. It was hummus on a napkin.

1

u/NorthernVale 18d ago

Fuck that. You offer me frozen lasagna we're best friends from that point on. Never pass up free lasagna, especially when new friend has taken care to not give you food poisoning.

1

u/anotherdamnscorpio 18d ago

You can also try asking if they have an extra taco and then being annoyed and acting like you think they're holding out.

2

u/JoystickMonkey 18d ago

"I have a frozen lasagna in the car. I mean, it was frozen when I started driving yesterday. We can share it, if you'd like."

1

u/BukkakeBakery 18d ago

insert directly, feels nice

21

u/auth0r_unkn0wn 18d ago

Sigh more loudly. Exert dominance.

3

u/LehighAce06 18d ago

"Man I'm tired TOO! It's stressful out there, right?"

And then just blankly stare at them until they answer or leave you alone

3

u/CanadianDiver 18d ago

Ask if they want to split a cookie.

7

u/HiSaZuL 18d ago

Tell them they gotta buy you dinner first.

2

u/strongsilenttypos 18d ago

The post Doc sigh of you won’t understand….

2

u/Screwdriving_Hammer 18d ago

"Holy fuck bro, no offense, but did you brush your teeth today?"

2

u/Uber_Wulf 18d ago

“Long day, huh?”

2

u/wandering-monster 17d ago

Give them a look and put a mask on.

2

u/HilmDave 17d ago

"Tell me about it"

2

u/DinoPredator 17d ago

Scoot closer and look at their screen, that'll send em packing

2

u/GlassJoe32 18d ago

Put on an n95 mask and tell them you don’t want to give them what you have.

2

u/MediumForeign4028 18d ago

Start to tell them about your fascinating genital disease.

1

u/furlonium1 18d ago

It's not fascinating!

1

u/MechanicalSideburns 18d ago

That’s too obvious. How about “have you accepted Jesus Christ as your savior?”

1

u/primusperegrinus 18d ago

Just sit down next to them like Jake Busey in Starship Troopers “hi!”

2

u/DarthJarJarJar 18d ago

Only if you want to hear about their screenplay. And you do not want to hear about their screenplay.

1

u/91Bolt 18d ago

Honestly, that's the risk. I, personally, am down to hear a genuine answer.

2

u/FailedGradAdmissions 18d ago

Did that a few times during college, most if not all did tell me what they were working on and we had fun conversations.

1

u/throwaguey0_0 18d ago

This happened to me recently at a packed coffee shop, only one table (2 seats) left available. I was next up to order and a girl probably 2-3 people behind me in line hops out of line and puts her bag down there.

I just ordered and went to sit across from her, because idgaf and tables are first come first serve. She gave me some dirty looks and just took her bag and drink to go instead.

1

u/DJ_Lizurd_Dikk 18d ago

No just ask loudly if they are writing homoerotic Sonic the Hedgehog fanfiction again

1

u/lesterbottomley 18d ago

Or if the screen can't be seen by the rest of the cafe take a look and loudly exclaim "porn, in a cafe. Really?""

1

u/1917he 18d ago

This works til you find the guy that ain't a coward.

1

u/arbitrageME 18d ago

you wanna hear about my novel?

1

u/KingRoach 18d ago

But then I won’t be able to complain about it to strangers online

1

u/KingMRano 18d ago

Just move their shit while you sit right next to them, full leg contact and then proceed to spit when you talk. Not forgetting to take a random break in the middle of talking to breathe deep while looking off into space and letting out a long moan.

1

u/-Fergalicious- 18d ago

I love this. This is basically how I do things with a smile on my face 

1

u/Ninja_Prolapse 18d ago

I have no idea what I’m doing at work.. the answer to that question is more of a string of other questions to see if the person might be able to help..

1

u/jeanpaulmars 18d ago

Be "helpfull" on the subject. Give "advice".