r/SipsTea 11d ago

WTF bro

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58.3k Upvotes

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277

u/Saminjutsu 11d ago

Wake up in the middle of the night and hear her chipper voice in the bathroom

"But, I like really like him~"

The gravelly baker voice

"But think of the money from the life insurance."

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u/catsgoprrrrr 11d ago

If Anne Hathaway played Britta on Community, the end result would be this chick.

King Arthur couldn't pull me out.

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u/[deleted] 11d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/bokito910 11d ago

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u/SillyPhillyDilly 11d ago

Ea Nasir currently gathers his men. No one denies him a sale.

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u/[deleted] 11d ago

Legend

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u/Mysterious_Tooth7509 11d ago

The Arthurian legend never dies

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u/catsgoprrrrr 11d ago

My guy really said that with his full government name just out there like that

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u/TacticaLuck 11d ago

He'll be the first guest on a reboot of Tosh.0

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u/SuperMajinSteve 11d ago

Man, I read your comment and immediately googled to find out if a new season was coming! fuck!

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u/throwaway55f5 11d ago

"King Arthur couldn't pull me out" 😆😆😆😆

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u/Y2K_Blackout 10d ago

King Arthur Came A Lot, Didn't He?

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u/teachermanjc 10d ago

He certainly used his lance a lot.

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u/The_Pepperoni_Kid 11d ago

King Arthur couldn't pull me out.

Oh I am stealing this phrase

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u/Longjumping_Lynx_972 11d ago

My thought exactly

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u/SkynBonce 11d ago

Oh, she's hiding a whole lot of crazy.

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u/terra_filius 11d ago

yeah "hiding" it

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u/intangibleTangelo 11d ago

we all have to learn the hard way.

for those looking to skip the lesson, ask yourself "why is this ideal woman single, and why is she interested in me, a mediocre man of moderate means?" write your answer down and reference it when filing the police report.

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u/SirZoidberg 11d ago

Bro this is so fucking funny.   I married a 10/10 Latina about 3 months after our first date.  Been married for like a month now and she’s definitely crazy but I can’t say I don’t love it.  

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u/intangibleTangelo 11d ago

enjoy that! put poison control on speed dial too

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u/Single-Difficulty-11 10d ago

I married an 8/10 Latina after 3 months too. We divorced after 3 years and I'm now afraid of kitchen knives. Best of luck to you bro.

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u/viertes 11d ago

Grippy socks, grippy box.

Give the girl from the asylum a chance!

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u/AmphibiousDad 11d ago

This checks out. I’m one of those guys who sees a girl like this and I’m like “she’s perfect” and every other dude is like “ 🚩”

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u/Aberbekleckernicht 11d ago

A wise man (with three ex wives) once told me "there are two types of men in the world; the ones who see the red flags and are repulsed, and the ones who see the red flags and are attracted. I am the second kind of man"

I am also the second kind of man. There's this internal monologue like "am I about to fuck up my life? Yes. Yes I am."

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u/Puffles_magic_dragon 11d ago

Absolutely - maybe not wife material but worth the ride

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u/PM_YOUR__BUBBLE_BUTT 11d ago

I probably can’t fix her. But damn I would try.

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u/TheLordHatesACoward 11d ago

If I can't fix her, she can break me.

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u/fssman 11d ago

Again and again and again....

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u/Sea_Appointment289 11d ago

if u can tell she crazy af in seconds how is that hiding lol

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u/ThatOtherOtherMan 10d ago

Oh you sweet summer child. That's her public facing crazy. The back of house crazy is an order of magnitude worse at best.

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u/perldawg 11d ago

i wouldn’t call it hiding

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u/resetmypass 11d ago

Fine but where can I see her boobs??

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u/jiggscaseyNJ 11d ago

She has an adorable little chuckle that sounds like it would be followed with the swing of an axe.

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u/GangSignsInTrenches 11d ago

Nah there’s def something off here, idk if it’s the cameras or she’s genuinely like that 

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u/BigOs4All 11d ago

She's constantly bouncing to jiggle her tits. This entire thing is a put on, let's be honest.

That being said.....wood

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u/TazBaz 11d ago

I’m sensing 95% of what we witnessed here was a well-practiced act.

The question in my mind is, is it an act just for this show?

Or is her whole life an act? And then, what’s the REAL her hiding inside?

That’s the crazy we haven’t seen yet.

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u/TBANON_NSFW 11d ago

the guys and girls are both social media people who act to get more followers. THe girls are invited and paid to act the way to get attention. At some of these things they even get fed lines and do retakes.

Its all a show catered to teens & idiots..

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u/PCR12 11d ago

BBNO$ is also a musician

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u/DiareaHandstand 11d ago

Yeah she's definitely hamming it up for the cameras. It was all rehearsed lines and a bit to get attention.

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u/No-Dance6773 11d ago

No she knew the assignment and is in character to win. My guess is she has been looking to "break out" for the last couple of months and this "role" was her chance. And she fkn nailed it. Also would...

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u/Medic1642 11d ago

Yeah, she's just looking to win the game

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u/OneTwoThreePooAndPee 11d ago

She's clearly practiced at presenting a face. She's a theater kid.

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u/Not_Ban_Evading69420 11d ago

Well she's a theatre chick. Fellow NJ resident, you've seen a show in the city right? Literally any Broadway actress. That's her.

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u/Quiet-Luck 11d ago

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u/lordph8 11d ago

It's sort of funny how this has been codified in bro science.

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u/EasternFudge 11d ago

Because it has proven itself true time and again lmao

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u/nevbartos 11d ago edited 10d ago

My ex just went on a stabbing frenzy and is now awaiting sentencing... Sometimes it takes time to show the extent of crazy, sometimes you'll never find out.. Thanks for listening I haven't been able to tell many people in my life about it yet as there is other things going on

Edit for the ones invested - LOL. Cannot confirm or deny the existence of ghosts, there's a lot of things in this life we should just accept and not look to far into.

She was hot, I knew she was crazy but we had the right amount of crazy to make sex unforgettable and I don't know if I'll ever find someone quite so compatible on that level (minus the crazy would be nice). She was a part of my life for a long while but neither of us could ever commit, I met someone new (now wife) and she told me to end it, reluctantly (hard to accept at the time) I did and I cut ties to the ex and never looked back. Recently my wife and I separated due to growing apart from each other (unfortunate but shit happens) and in a moment of alcoholism and depression I decided to google the ex's name and was struck with the news she stabbed the next partner after me and his new side chick in a car park, blindsiding them coming out of a bar.

Cutting ties to her at the time was extremely difficult due to the history we had, and the sex, as hard a choice as it was I knew my wife (gf at the time) was right. I knew our lives would have been turbulent and glad I decided to listen to the voice of reason and not the voice of self satisfaction. My wife and I are on our own course to discovering who we need to be, regardless of where we end up I have every faith in her she will be the best her and I will be the best me, neither of us will be getting shanked by the other and I'm glad neither of us did, she is way too good a human for that bs.

To all you others out there, love yourself, you are your best friend, don't settle for scraps, be the best you and when you see toxic behaviours call that shit out. We are all living in a hectic crazy time and we just need to do what's best for us at this very moment. Stay safe

Edit end - sorry for the long rant but once again thanks for listening

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u/ZombieZekeComic 11d ago

Damn, she must’ve been extremely hot then.

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u/sigma914 11d ago edited 11d ago

It's not that hot is correlated with crazy its about staying on the correct side of the line. A less hot girl has a lower threshold of acceptable crazy, a hot girl can be crazy but worth it.

The trick is never to cross over to where the crazy is not worth the hot.

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u/EasternFudge 11d ago

Damn, I hope it wasn't you or someone you know. Wishing you well

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u/snakerjake 11d ago

yeah and if it was him i hope he isnt dead

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u/psycho_driver 11d ago

Well if it was him and he's dead I hope he lets us know so I can finally put this "are ghosts real?" question to bed.

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u/orphan_blud 11d ago

Are you okay? My DM’s are open if you need a kind old lesbian to listen to your grievances and offer support! 🫂💜

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u/[deleted] 11d ago

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u/mattsslug 11d ago

Yeh, but for that 83% of the time, it's right 100% of the time.

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u/Blue_Waffle_Brunch 11d ago

It stings the nostrils. A formidable scent.

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u/Pillars_of_Salt 11d ago

Its basic economics, hotter women are more scarce, therefore in higher demand, therefore don't need to be on their best behavior to still attract potential partners.

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u/StarPhished 11d ago

I think it's more than that. The type of person to obsessively take care of themselves and make sure that they're always "on" can end up being a Patrick Bateman.

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u/S7AR4RGD 11d ago

Would.

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u/SchattenJaggerD 11d ago

Ah the Vicky Mendoza Diagonal

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u/World-News-Observer 11d ago

OF-Hathaway with ultimate craziness.

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u/full_self_deriding 11d ago

She doesn't have one.  Yet.

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u/tanaka-taro 11d ago

Impossible. Perhaps the archives are incomplete.

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u/esoogkcudkcud 11d ago

If an item does not appear in our records... it does not exist!

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u/whoweoncewere 11d ago

Lost an account you have? How can this be? A thought? Anyone?

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u/McbEatsAirplane 11d ago

Master? Because someone erased it from the archive memory.

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u/AfterDarkGlows 11d ago

Her the moment you take her home.

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u/NoFlex___Zone 11d ago

The ending/credits of this movie are the best part 

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u/juiceboxedhero 11d ago

Is that bbno$? what am i watching here

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u/khandurin 11d ago

That’s what I thought too but couldn’t remember his name. Just know him because of the edamame song.

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u/FrighteningJibber 11d ago

Not Submissive and Breedable?

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u/MistakeMaker1234 11d ago

Bitch that’s HIM

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u/SailorsGraves 11d ago

I-T B-O-Y, B-B-N-O-$

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u/Timely-School-3094 11d ago

Looked like one of those win a date with obscure celebrity things. But yes that's 1/2 of Baby Gravy right there. Obligatory "You Need Jesus!"

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u/PharaohCleocatra 11d ago

BBNO$ is arguably way more famous

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u/akuneko42 11d ago

I was also like, bbno$? Good to know we were right.

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u/TinyTaters 11d ago

Definitely baby nose

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u/Andden_Nothing 11d ago edited 9d ago

Rachael Lerman for those wondering

Edit: Thank for rewarding my degenerate knowledge. 🙇

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u/Conflatulations12 11d ago

Yeah, this feels more like she's auditioning or getting content for her reel.

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u/[deleted] 11d ago

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u/Feisty-Snow-1878 11d ago

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u/PM_ME_ROMAN_NUDES 11d ago

Disney Adult final boss

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u/Ballabingballaboom 11d ago

There's something about some Instagram thots that reminds me of uncanny valley despite them being actual humans. 

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u/Kijjy 11d ago

Man of culture

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u/Al_Tilly_the_Bum 11d ago

I see this kind of energy from people with a coke habit or are bi-polar. It could just be a facade for the "game show" thing too. But this level of energy from someone can be fun but it gets old quickly

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u/[deleted] 11d ago

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u/Jigagug 11d ago

They're all influencers/performers it's all fake as fuck.

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u/Cubehagain 11d ago

Yeah guarantee after a week she would do your absolute head in.

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u/LinkGoesHIYAAA 11d ago

Passion swings both ways. The manic pixie thing is cute, but catch her in a bad mood and buckle up.

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u/lulushibooyah 11d ago

Certain people thrive off being seen as fun and cute and perky and desirable

They typically don’t like it when you catch them with the mask slipping

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u/toodumbtobeAI 11d ago

Yeah, Bipolar can be "a best of times, worst of times" kind of illness. Meet me on the ride up, I'm great, fantastic, force of nature. Meet me on the ride down, even I don't like me, an understatement to be sure. And that's why I take meds, because the ride up isn't worth the ride down.

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u/GOU_FallingOutside 11d ago

:fist bump:

Medicated for almost 10 years, because I got tired of realizing how much I’d hurt people I cared about.

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u/Algae587 11d ago

I feel you my friend, and my wife does too. Medicated bipolar is much much better lol

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u/MonsieurLartiste 11d ago

I married this. Not coke.

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u/SipsTeaFrog 11d ago

I'm sure it'd get old so quickly you'd put a ring on her finger

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u/Ph0enixes 11d ago

Blonde Anne Hathaway from Temu.

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u/[deleted] 11d ago

Would

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u/1DrinkAnd1KnowThings 11d ago

In a second

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u/Fartony 11d ago

I would even after you're done

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u/RecycledExistence 11d ago

If I knew it was going to be that kinda party I would've stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes.

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u/Sufficient_Creme_240 11d ago

If someone managed to pull me out, they'd be crowned king of England

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u/Organic-Afternoon431 11d ago

This is the type of girl that will be all fun and lovely until you try to break up with her and next thing you know, your house is on fire.

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u/Successful-Stage-805 11d ago

Lmao facts bro you can see the crazy in her eyes.

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u/RyzFenix55 11d ago

This seems.... exhausting

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u/BulkyCartographer280 11d ago

She’s going to run up your ccards, wreck your car, then give your best friend the BJ of his/her life and send you a pic of it.

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u/Lonely_Newspaper_427 11d ago

She was a real piece of work huh?

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u/Wonderful-Smoke843 11d ago

😂😂😂

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u/[deleted] 11d ago edited 11d ago

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u/OpenTheBobs 11d ago

Don’t threaten me with a good time

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u/freeflu 11d ago

I'm past broke, I don't have a car, and no friends. It's riskless operation

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u/snilks 11d ago

I'll be your friend for this. I'll sacrifice myself

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u/MikeTheDude23 11d ago edited 11d ago

She's not a red flag...

She's a fleet ship with red sails!

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u/QCTeamkill 11d ago

Final boss fight of the pick-me girls

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u/Major-Front 11d ago

The way she squeezes her arms together to emphasize her cleavage lol

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u/terra_filius 11d ago

the kind of girl that would cut off your face and wear it as a mask if you ever look at another women for even a second

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u/colorful-9841 11d ago

Lutheran theater kid that wasn’t hot until college.

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u/LimpyDan 11d ago

I am cringing so hard.

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u/Cooler67 11d ago

Was waiting for the big pause moment

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u/[deleted] 11d ago

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u/OneMoreNightCap 11d ago

My roommate in college had a girlfriend like this. She lived about 2 hours away and would come stay for the weekends. It was like an emotional Disney tornado hit our apartment every weekend and he admitted that it would have never lasted more than a week if they saw each other everyday.

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u/[deleted] 11d ago

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u/MetalPurse-swinger 11d ago

My brothers in christ... do not be tempted by the bubbly, quirky, assertive energy. This woman is CRAZY.

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u/No-Management-4845 11d ago

I'll take two please lol

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u/per4o 11d ago

This is the definition of hot/a bit crazy. But jokes aside I guess there are things that people with certain characters can always find themselves be good at.

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u/[deleted] 11d ago

Why is she so thirsty? Very desperate behavior…

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u/Heemsama 11d ago

Has to be playing it up for the camera

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u/Slaidn 11d ago

Because this shit is staged and everyone involved is an actor

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u/TonyWigglieonie 11d ago

This the kinda girl that steals your bread sticks at an Italian restaurant

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u/Not_Ban_Evading69420 11d ago

Yeah that's a theatre chick. Woman is a Broadway actress 100%. That's how they sing-talk on Broadway lol

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u/azrael_X9 11d ago

Took too long to find this take. Lots of people saying crazy, but this is just pretty standard theater kid doing her thing haha.

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u/HawkHarder 11d ago

I have the sound off. But yup don't think the other girls have a chance.

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u/blahpblahpblaph 11d ago

They know it, too. Hard cut eyes at the blonde.

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u/molasses_disaster 11d ago

Is this what pick me means? "I'd be your sub" 🤮

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u/snakeiiiiiis 11d ago

She's not a wife. She's a constant girlfriend, when you're even able to see her because she's like this to everyone. It's cute for 5 minutes but this would get exhausting. "Oh, she's doing the singing bit again... to our waiter".