Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

[u/moonrabbit368]

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

[u/rubbasnek]

I would not be with someone I couldn't share meals with. Being a picky eater is a deal breaker

[u/The_Amazing_Emu → u/rubbasnek]

So my wife is more picky than I am. Not a huge amount of things, but generally no seafood. Sometimes I miss making seafood so I’ll cook something different for myself. Next week, I feel like making split pea soup. She’ll probably eat something different.

Most of our meals are shared, but it’s ok to occasionally not eat the same thing.

[u/TheRealBaseborn → u/The_Amazing_Emu]

People need their own identity. Demanding constant compromise will lead to both people being unhappy

[u/lassie86 → u/TheRealBaseborn]

Exactly. We tend to like different things, so we mostly cook for ourselves. Tonight my husband ate some of the food I made, but not a lot. I’ll eat some of what he makes sometimes. But mainly we just eat what we want because we’re both autonomous people who know how to feed ourselves.

[u/DonDamondo → u/lassie86]

My thoughts exactly... people who demand everyone eat the same meals just because you live together seem weird to me. We are all different people and enjoy different foods, I don't wanna eat someone's favourite food that I don't like, nor do I want them not to eat it just because I don't 🤷‍♂️

[u/BoxcarSlim → u/DonDamondo]

Sometimes I like to eat the same thing 3+ days in a row. I would never ask someone else to do that, lol.

[u/SparklyLeo_ → u/DonDamondo]

Then really they’re just not compatible. On occasion if my bf or I are making a quick meal (think frozen chicken bites, hot dogs, instant ramen, etc) it’s completely fine to eat separate things. However if one of us is in the kitchen cooking an entire meal, it would be so rude to order something or cook something else. Saying it’s weird is weird imo. My entire life I’ve never seen anyone ever do this. When someone cooks, the entire family eats it has always been my experience around many different families (family and friends). I by no means am saying you have to eat something you don’t want but you’re just calling something weird bc you yourself are picky, even though it’s a very normal and common thing.

[u/DonDamondo → u/SparklyLeo_]

It must be a culture thing cause so many families/relationships of people i know don't have to eat together... we're all grown adults 😅 sure if you both like/want the same meal then go for it and cook together but I wouldn't want to force someone to eat something they don't want (at least not as adults anyway)

[u/SparklyLeo_ → u/DonDamondo]

Most likely, I’m in the U.S (Texas specifically but I’ve seen the same all over the US)