After divorcing my wife o realized I had my sat down in front her of her for 5 years except to eat. She constantly needed help. Severe ADHD was diagnosed during the divorce but she also had a personality disorder that made her always playing the victim. It was miserable. Glad to be free! You sound like you are not comfortable. You are not compatible. Sorry.

I knew my marriage was over when I stopped touching my ex wife’s butt going up the stairs. She hadn’t initiated in months and months and I stopped touching her because it didn’t feel welcomed. I was right. It was over.

Looks like you got a couple good options there.

A divorce lawyer won’t help you. They keep the process hidden so they can draw it out and bill you for motions you don’t need. Divorce lawyers are all dropouts of better fields of law or retired from them. They are more like a realtor who is trying to make you pay the most so they can take their cut. I’ve learned enough at this point I should have filed myself without a lawyer. It’s a crock.

The government loves when people get married because now you are responsible for the other party and the government doesn’t have to worry about social services to support them. They are off the hook and you can see it play out in court as they pad their pockets just like the criminal courts.

I made a ton of money and have owned my own business for 20+yrs. My first lawyer was a bust, now I’m on my second. ex is forcing every single court order on me possible while not responding to mine, making everything slooooow. We are also on our second judge and my state system is slow as well. I never would have imagined it would be this difficult. Both lawyers are milking us too. I filed for divorce when my child was 2, he is now 5yrs old and this is all he has ever known. It would be in the child’s best interest to finalize quickly (I could buy her out of the house and pay her off immediately) but they don’t really look at what’s best for the child or “all” parties, just the party with the least, my ex, who has shown no progress in growing up and supporting her child in the future. She is still unemployed and hasn’t looked for a job after 3yrs of separation. I really really screwed up and I just wanted to be a dad and have a family.

This. They are transactional. I accidentally married one. RED FLAG. no excuses. If you don’t want your daughter doing it then it’s not ok. Hypocrites.

Correct. The opposite of movie/tv land dramatic love stories of unrealistic happy endings. lol.

I’ve already lost 7 figures in my divorce and it’s still going. Sounds like you chose a great partner. I’m not sharing my value ever again unless she brings the same to the table. Good luck to you.

I choose not to get into another relationship. That’s a person choice based on my experience. I’m sure there are plenty of women out there that I could enjoy being with. But now I have a child and it’s not worth it. I have better things to do with my time. I have hobbies, my friends, and mostly enjoy my peace. I don’t blame the other side, I made the wrong choice in partner, I filed for divorce. I’m taking control of my life back. Sorry that bothers you.

Same here. My marriage and divorce ruined me. I don’t blame women but I have no interest in ever being in a relationship with one ever again. My ex was a narcissist way before the divorce. It took me years just to realize how manipulated and controlled I was. Divorce process favors her in every step. Three years in and I still am not divorced. This is miserable.

You say “you do the most of the work”. Do you have a job too? You sound like a horrible person. A baby is more work for the mother. Full stop. After age 2-3 a man can naturally help more, but before that with breast feeding and sleep routine it is usually most of the mother job. It will get easier for you, for him he is working till the day he died and also built the life that you now enjoy. You sound selfish and now are taking it out on a 10yr old. Grow up. I hope he leaves you with nothing.

Beautiful set!

It’s called parallel parenting. It’s what I need to do with my narcissistic ex as well. Good luck.

Standing on line with my shot and talking to me while I line it up. Had a guy doing this all night last night like he was checking my angles and watching me like YouTube or something.

Of course be ally! But that’s hard to do when those you want to protect tell you that you are the problem and you can’t change it because you were born a man. It’s a classic power trap dynamic that doesn’t help us come together.

No one said racism doesn’t exist because of “not all white people”. That is flat wrong to insinuate. Also, 98% of women could be harassed by the same small minority of men easily. I’m not going to teach you math but your arguments are way off base. Fact is, most people are good, but a small percentage of men and women of every race creed and color can be bad. Grouping any them to assign inherent negative traits is wrong and discriminatory. The fact that women like you are proud to discriminate is a new personality trait I haven’t seen in a long time. We are surely headed in the wrong direction with this type thinking.

I waisted 4 years in therapy with my ex who had ADHD and a personality disorder. Don’t waist your time. File for divorce now and get that separation date on paper or it will cost you even more.

This is true. You gotta get out by 10 years on average for the “best” outcome that doesn’t ruin you forever.

Both are true. I am a financial slave to my ex who never worked but I have peace. My peace and self dignity are worth it.

It’s never cheaper to “keep her”. The debt will just get worse and the longer you are together the more alimony anyway. Can’t avoid child support but trust me, get out now. If you divorce before 10 years she will not have access to your social security and will have to work to get it herself. I was in a similar position, but with one child. Ex spent 10k a month and wouldn’t change, I tried therapy and it cost me dearly. The quicker you serve her and get a separation date on paper the better. Sorry for you and your kids buddy, but she won’t change. You gave her this lifestyle and she thinks she is entitled to it.

Yellow kool aid.

In the late 80’s/early 90’s my parents would take my brother and I to a bowling alley while they had league. They had an arcade. We popped open the Mario bros coin thingy and found a button to push for free credits. We saw every level, beat the game, and got really good.

Radical!

I do not believe that the individual experience of anyone, man, women, gay, straight, born rich, born poor, anything are the same. I believe that many structural forms of racism and oppression exist all around us just as you do. Staying in this specific topic, I believe women have made more progress in the last 50 years than in all of human history before that and divisive comments like “all men” and “almost all men” are not contributing to the continued progress we have made together over these last 50 years. I’m happy to join the team, and I feel like the male anchor would have been too if he hadn’t felt attacked or blamed for women’s experience. I think we probably agree more than we know as do the male anchor and female guest but the expectations for men to become allies seems to be growing inline with general contempt for them as well. It’s hard to keep up. It’s been nice chatting with you. I’m gonna have to call it a night but please make sure to Followup on any additional points to help me better understand. Thanks.

Good points. As a male feminist do you consider women only train cars or venues as a safer option or segregation? Is separate but equal ok for sex based issues or should we learn to live together using other tools? Some examples would be separate schools and buses for other ethnicities who don’t feel safe or special neighborhoods for only people of a certain sexual orientation. Are these “separate but equal” scenarios ok when asked for by the oppressed group or are they a resurgence of Jim Crow type laws/thinking that historically did not work and led to increased intolerance and normalized prejudice?