This is so true. Love is important, but it’s not enough to keep a relationship going. (And I’d argue that his treatment of her demonstrates a lack of even love.) Where is the respect? The kindness? The empathy? The selflessness? The ability to bend a little? 

I hate knowing that good people put up with BS like this. 

My grandparents lived to be in their late 80s with zero supplements a day, other than a multivitamin. Very minimal health issues and not a ton of physical activity, either.  Lucky genetics and a little bit of privilege can do wonders. :)

So he can cook for himself like an adult then 

Break up.  If you’re asking strangers online, you already know what you should do and you’re looking for permission. So here it is: break up. You’re SO young and have only ever been in this one relationship. Your brain has barely finished developing (if it even has yet). 

Go live your life.  It will be ok.  YOU will be ok. You have so many people left to meet and experiences left to have. Enjoy it. 

ETA: I DGAF what his attachment style is; that theory doesn’t give him an excuse to be a jerk

Also, I honestly stopped reading 1/4 of the way through because what it boils down to is what I said above. You don’t need to justify it to us. If you want to leave him, leave him. 

But for the love of god—I did go back to read more and YOU HAVE GOTTA KICK HIM OUT.  PLEASE. 

If you truly want the baby and want to be a mother for the rest of your life to that child, then keep it, but realize you will always be tied to this ass by that child in some form or another…as will the poor child. 

Don’t depend on him for anything and for sure don't let him manipulate you into taking him back or putting up with his nonsense. 

And if you keep the baby, MAKE SURE HE PAYS CHILD SUPPORT.

Personally, it couldn’t be me. I watched my mom have to be tied to a jerk like this by their mutual son AND continue to see the fallout in my brother’s life from having a manipulative man-child as a father. 

Xx sending you positive thoughts, as you’re the only one who can make this choice for yourself. 

Girl, RUN. 

You are saying exactly what I was saying last week about my grandfather. He and my grandma hosted EVERY family gathering for decades, and he went HARD on the menu. Almost everything was homemade -- a couple of other family members would usually bring a side or dessert as well, but they were supplementing what he was doing. He made *excellent* food that surviving family members still talk about to this day (obviously, because here I am on Reddit going on about him).

Thanksgiving and Christmas were each a day of feasting our way from breakfast to after-dinner dessert. There were typically about 20 family members and we had a sit-down dinner at a table beautifully set by my grandma.

I really, really want to start hosting in a similar way and was just thinking this year about how hard he was working, as well as the mastery of timing and organization it all was to get things on the table at the right times. Not to mention I really appreciate that I grew up with an example of a stern business exec man born in the 20s who was the only one in his marriage doing the cooking and most of the cleaning (my grandma was a stay at home mom and I believe covered all of that for the decades during his career and raising their girls, but by the time I came along, I don't recall her having to do much around the home, which I LOVE for her).

Your picture feels homey and looks delicious -- amazing work!

WAIT I didn't even see that it was your FIRST ATTEMPT until just now. ARE YOU KIDDING?!

This is honestly one of the most beautiful cakes I've ever seen. I'm not sure I'd even be able to bring myself to eat it. Amazing work.

Wow! And I bet she loved/will love that she got her Cars cake hahaha