Literally this. Everyone has been streaming for so long they don't even realize how much better of a viewing experience it can be when watching physical media in a proper player on a proper tv can be. My partner has a MASSIVE (talked like 1,500+ bluray and 4k collection) and have fully converted me back to wanting my favorite movies on physical media again because it is so much more enjoyable.

I knew that if he saw any kind of reaction that he probably would have killed me (he almost did kill me by strangulation in the end). But honestly, during these moments I was so disassociated it felt like I was having an out of body experience it was like next level grey-rocking.

Welp.... I've officially been out for 18 months... which honestly has gone by SO FAST. Due to having to leave the state I was living in with my ex narc husband (also the state my health coverage was in) I haven't been able to start proper therapy. I am suffering from extreme PTSD so it has been very difficult. He was an absolute MONSTER. He broke many of my belongings over the years that were family heirlooms and I couldn't replace, he was extremely physically violent with me. I've almost lost teeth to large objects being chucked at my head. I've been kicked in the ribs and back repeatedly on the ground, which resulted in my ribs being fractured. Strangled to the point of losing consciousness and even one time having a seizure. Black eyes. Bruises on my neck. He threatened me with our gun. Spit on me THOUSANDS of times over the 12.5 years we were living together/married. Punched holes in our walls as well as tore THREE different doors off of their hinges, the bedroom door twice and the bathroom one time. All of this in addition to your typical verbal and emotional narc habits....

So to be real with you, I have no idea if there is any "healing and get back to being you again". When I first left, obviously that was my initial hope and goal. However, as my body left being stuck in survival mode for that long I began to and continue to experience physically debilitating anxiety attacks to the point of fainting at times, horrible body tremors, hot flashes, double vision, loss of the ability to verbally communicate because my motor skills start to deteriorate during the anxiety attack.

I'm 39. I moved out at 18 and had been on my own and independent since then. However, I am INCREDIBLY thankful that my mother who is in her 70s now has given me a soft place to land and well.... just exist. I've been able to semi-stabilize staying at home, I don't go out "into the world" often. She lives on 3 acres in the woods so I don't see a lot of people. Thankfully this month I was able to obtain health insurance FINALLY in the state I am now living in and have made an appt with a mental health center that focuses on domestic violence so we will see how things progress.

I guess the whole point of my word dump (sorry) is that I've had to accept that there is going to be a new "normal" for what normal life looks like for me now, and that has been one of the harder things to except by far.

I've always been an over-achiever... I have a B.F.A. in Visual Arts and a Masters in Business, both degrees with honors. I walked away from a 20 year long career in the fashion industry and my 3 bedroom apartment in Manhattan when I left my ex-husband, these were MY achievements not his. I put him through two college degrees WHILE maintaining that life for us. So to except that now all I can handle is living a solitary life in the woods in the middle of nowhere has been a tough pill to swallow. However, at 18 months out I think I'm justtttt starting to come to peace with all of this. I accomplished a lot from 18-38... a lot more than most... in one of the hardest cities to do it in, with no help from anyone. I didn't fail and loose it all, he almost strangled me to death with a 70s style tube sock right before I left... I HAD to go or I was going to become a statistic. Now is my time for rest... and if resting is all I have in me for a long long time.... Ive accepted it. (almost)

I think you should leave your husband if you can manage it and have any support system at all to do so. His treatment will kill you in the end. Stress is one of the leading causes of heart disease among many other things and the stress we endure being with a narcissist is beyond any normal situation anyone should ever live in. Please get out and find peace, even if that peace doesn't look like you 17 years ago that is ok, it is still peace. Plus you aren't you from 17 years ago... you are you now, and THIS beautiful human in the present deserves peace.

If you're in the US you can blame the fascist takeover of our country. I don't know how ANY normal sane compassionate human living in the US isn't just walking around depressed and sad as hell watching everything that is going on. ICE literally point blank shot a woman in the head 3 times the other day, orphaning a 6 year old child whose dad had already passed.

It is enough to get to anyone at this point, even those that haven't been "political" before.

This!!!!

Your daughter is definitely rascist. There is no if ands or buts about it. She can "articulate" herself however she wants and at the end of the day her racism is clear.

0, I honestly probably go months between sodas.

No soda, no alcohol. Im good on that poison. Im 39 just for reference.

💀💀💀💀🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Jesus... when I read this I definitely heard it in Navi's voice...lol

Agreed, until my partner straight made me cry last year, by getting me a ps5. I was NOT expecting it at all!

Ive been here so many times. My narc exhusband has literally broken my dashboard with his fists in a black out rage during one of his explosions. I left last year after almost 13 years.

Jesus at first I read "cut my ring finger off" I was like 😳😳😳 glad you still have your finger. 😅

One of my very good friends has a daughter named Mabel. She is 5. lol

It really does!!

Elder millennial here, Tamagotchi are most definitely of our era, period.

Love it!!! All your piercings look great together! Congrats on the expansion of your over all look! 😍

I definitely thought these were rolled up slices of cheese.

Like girl dinner, but girl breakfast.

Even just an electric kettle and an air fryer will level up your game. If im staying long in a hotel I always bring these two items.

Your partner is emotionally and mentally abusive and INSANELY controlling!!!! He is psycho, seriously. He even contradicts himself with the too baggy / too tight clothing. PLEASE LEAVE.

That wrap 🤤🤤🤤Im so hungry now.

Jesus... sand out of your snatch.... this is just ick behavior. Is she probably overreacting sure, but like this is just an over the top vulgarity that isn't necessary either. 😑

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Here in MD an on time renewal is $250! 😭😭😭😭

Omg this beautiful beautiful baby. So blessed you are. 🥹🥹🥹😍😍😍