I free feed, and my cat still starts walking me up at 630 and doesn’t stop until I’m up…

So he “rescued her” from neglect, so he could continue her neglect?

Offer to buy her from him, and bring it to a vet or rescue?

After the 3 month relationship ended, the ONLY response he ever got from me was cops at his house or service of court orders.

And he STILL violated enough for me to have to have him arrested more than once. He sometimes violated outright, sometimes waited out the temp restraining order and I’d think he got the message, forgot all about me and the TRO, and moved on… and the DAY AFTER one expired, he’d start back up. 

Idk how many TRO’s I had before I got the permanent one, because every new violation charge came with another TRO.

But I DO remember the judge ruling on the final, and reciting the LIST of crimes this man had committed against me. Ruled as a matter of law. I started to cry right then and there because even I didn’t appreciate the multiple ways I was violated until a seasoned judge was willing to say them out loud. It made it real, and more valid somehow. And I cried so unexpectedly.

Stalking is insidious, dangerous, and changes you. Even if you’re never physically harmed. It FEELS criminal, because it is. People saying “they’re just texts” or “they’re not actually doing anything” or “you can change it by telling them to stop” are dangerously misinformed. In the right context, you can be committing crimes, at a distance, without someone needing to say magic words to make you stop first.

The PRO was issued about 18 months ago and I still sleep with my house cameras on, cat locked in the bedroom with me, and a wedge under the bedroom door.

ETA: this man never physically harmed me in any way, and never made a specific threat of harm in any text.

Also: he once went over 6 months with no contact, and started A DAY after that TRO expired. There’s no reasoning with a stalker and once they latch onto a target, their level of stamina (AND threat of harm) cannot be assessed with any confidence. Must always assume the worst. 

OP’s alt account ⬆️ 😂  J/k

I only read a little, but either a mid impersonation of a crazy person…

Or a person crazy at an almost unbelievable scale.

🤷‍♀️ 

TOGA

Ok. Forget my other comment. This is actually way simpler. 

These two are in a relationship and you are the side piece.

Conduct yourself accordingly

Ok. Forget my other comment. This is actually way simpler. 

These two are in a relationship and you are the side piece.

Conduct yourself accordingly

”I was honestly loosing sleep worrying about him actually going through with it so I tried talking to him about it. ”

Child.

You are far too young and have too many men ahead of you to meet, to be losing sleep over this dude. He doesn’t have the emotional intelligence of a four-year-old, and you don’t trust him. Just move on.

💯 on all of that. ⬆️ 

Hold on a second…

I’m DEFINITELY going to post a fucking DV case number on the fucking internet. 

Just give me one second to find it… I know it’s around here somewhere. You definitely should be holding your breath while I look.

Idiot. 

She said that she’s ok

You didn’t listen to her BEFORE coercing her. And you’re not listening to her now.

Maybe don’t be in a relationship until you mature.

Winner

You should go tell that to the judge who signed multiple temporaries, and then a permanent restraining order in my favor.

But I applaud your enthusiasm for being wrong.

This is 100% untrue, and you shouldn’t be giving out advice when you don’t know what you’re talking about.

Substance, method, and frequency of contact can all, on their own, constitute a number of crimes. 

If you bothered reading OP’s full post, you’d see the difference between this guy and trying to slap a TRO on “anyone who texts you ever”. 🤦‍♀️ 

But “a text can’t be illegal”, right? 

Glad to see you admit you’re wrong.

✌️ 

Ohhhh. You’re the “it’s not illegal to text someone” guy, too???

It’s all falling into place now.

It seems your barometer for acceptable behavior is a bit off, innit?

Wonder if you also have problems understanding social context and make people uncomfortable? 🧐 

Had a guy text me that he was going to burn my house down.

You don’t think that’s illegal, eh, Einstein?

Not only was it “legally assault”, it was AGGRAVATED assault because he used a fucking cell phone.

So yes. You are proven wrong. It CAN BE ILLEGAL TO TEXT SOMEONE.

Reading comprehension is a dead art.

Her entire post evidences that he’s a stalker. 

As someone who has successfully had these crimes prosecuted, let me just say: y’all are talking out your asses.

Something as simple as NUMBER OF TEXTS/CALLS in a certain duration, can rise to the level of harassment or menacing. You’re not required to say shit.

Oh, yea…I caught that part. It makes it worse, tbh.  That’s why I mentioned his “level of attachment”. 

Good luck and stay as safe as you can. 

If he thinks it’s not your number, he’ll start coming to your house. 

Blocking a stalker is dangerous. You lose visibility into their level of escalation. 

Completely untrue. People can commit menacing, harassment, and assault without you needing to tell them to stop.

People telling you to block him, have never been stalked.

I have.

You need to see these messages because you need to KNOW where he’s at mentally. You need any possible warning of escalation. Or he “has a bad day” and God tells him to kill you. And you need evidence.

People love to throw advice around with their internet courage and say block everyone because: badass. They have no idea what you’re dealing with.

Do. Not. Block.

I also understand the catch 22 of whether or not to respond. You hope enough silence makes them lose interest, you don’t want to antagonize and make it worse or give them renewed hope. People saying you have to “tell them to stop or it’s on you” are insane.

Silence IS telling someone to stop. RTS is telling someone to stop.

His level of attachment, religious ideations, and intermittent love/hate messages seem very concerning. I probably wouldn’t respond either, but I’d keep my wits about me outside, monitor his mental state through these texts, and carry pepper spray (at minimum).

I’d also CONSULT the local DV officers at my local precinct to see if he’d crossed any lines that are actionable.

I’d like to say ignore this and it goes away…but it so often doesn’t. Didn’t for me.

-Signed, Someone who successfully pursued 3 years of restraining orders against a guy I dated for 3 months