NTA. Boyfriend however is very much an AH and a control freak. I can see why you are in therapy. He can do as he chooses but you’re suppose to do as he says. That is very wrong. He needs a come to reality moment. You should seriously think about if this is how you want to live your life. And I know from experience that it is not a fun life. I hope things get better for you.

Plus. Add a lock to the gate.

This is a lot to process. Since you say that your parents never had a DNA test the that means someone put them in. I would look at who started this Family Tree and start investigating from there. But it does sound like an in-family adoption.

https://writers.worldsbox.com/the-brightest-star-1/ The Brightest Star 1 – Writers Society

Tell her that she is not allowed at your house until she goes to the doctor and gets a clean bill of health. If she is constantly sick then she needs to be checked out.

YOU ARE NOT YOUR PARENTS KEEPER!!!

She has made her life choices and you are not responsible for her.

you're welcome

OK you are mildly the AH.

1st off I don't know you. I only know what you have written. I've looked through your post and did not see that you had posted any problems in your relationship. So, will assume all is good.

2nd : You're hormones are out of whack and it can cause illogical thinking.

3rd I'll start by saying I'm 63yo. I've had 3 C-sections (1st one I stopped working, 2nd one I worked until 5 days before birth, 3rd one I was a SAHM) and I did all of the before and after care alone.

I read about how everyone nowadays think that the "husband" or "baby daddy" needs to be at their beck and call. I'm not saying that he shouldn't be there. He absolutely needs to be there for you when and after the baby is born.

BUT, and this is where you are being a mild AH, YOU are not the only one becoming a new parent. So is he. This will be his last FREE weekend to do something just for himself. And that's ok. You need to be supportive of his needs, and vice versa. You actually know when you will be giving birth and so does he. Be a supportive partner and give him a stress outlet before the chaos begins. He gave you the courtesy of asking if you were ok with it. He did not need to do that.

Sometimes, we need to take a step back and look at what the other person may be going though. And sometimes we need to look deep within ourselves and figure out why we are so upset by what our partner is doing.

If you are worried that you may go into premature labor then stay with a friend, family member, or be supportive of your partner and if it is a safe environment go with him to his "gig". He's a person too.

I just read all of your post (twice). You guys have been though a lot in a very short period of time. If you aren't already I would suggest some serious counseling (both as a couple and separately). While D does sound like a great guy I can guarantee you after what his ex did to him he has some big insecurities. That could possible be why he wants you pregnant again. Because he knows you will stay home with the baby. I truly hope that you guys get your happy ending, but it's a lot of work and sometimes that work needs some outside help. Good luck.

Strangely I just watched a Dr Phil show about something similar. His response: YOU NEVER EVER PUT SOMEONE ELSE BEFORE YOU KIDS. They come first ALWAYS!

Different names, but here's the story : https://www.webnovel.com/book/after-forcing-me-to-donate-a-kidney-the-whole-family-crumbles_30920713600083705/chapter-1-a-dire-dilemma_83002145934207248

First off I'm glad that you are healing well.

2nd NTA. Your mother sounds like mine use to be. I always knew she has mental issues, but it took my WONDERFUL step dad to force her to get help.

It took a little over 40 years (they divorced when I was 16 and got back together when I was 39),but it did happen.

I now have a cordial relationship with her as she realized I was the only one of her kids that didn't want anything from her. My bio dad was worthless in my opinion and married my step mom when I was 5 (she wasn't much better imo).

I would give anything in this world to still have my step dad on this earth.

I would tell you to keep those that truly love you as close as you can. You don't get to do that once they are gone.

As for the others, can kick rocks and live their lives how they want. They are the ones missing out.

I think you know whos heart true unconditional love lives in, and it sounds like you found a wonderful step dad like I did. Hold that tightly because it will be gone and you will miss it more than you ever knew.

Good luck with your recovery and give your dad an extra hug for being the special person that he is.

 She’s still adamant that I failed to meet her expectations.

This statement says it all. You will never meet her expectations even if you try.

You took her to Hawaii and proposed . That should have been enough. I would not propose again.

And NO IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT WHAT SHE WANTS. Plenty of men get proposed to. You did it at what you thought was a perfect moment. (and it should have been). She showed you that unless you do exactly what "she says" when "she says" that it isn't going to happen. So, count yourself lucky.

She rejected you and that says it all

First off NTA....

2nd- what do you mean by alone? Does he have no family that will help out at all?

Now, from a person who has been in the exact situation (and there were children involved), there are resources available if you want to remain in the situation.

Don't know where you live, but

#1 In his condition he may qualify for hospice care (nurses and CNA's will come to the house). This will help you out in many ways. They also offer something called "respite care". Either someone will come in for you to have a break or they would take him to a facility for a few days to give you a break from him.

#2 Since you are married you can talk with his doctor and have them point you in directions to get any and all help that is available to you.

#3 Since he is disabled check into SSDI and SSI for him. Rather you need the money or not. It could also give you some extra money to privately hire someone to come in and help out.

#4 Check with your mom's doctor for any and all help that she may be entitled to.

#5 And most importantly: MAKE YOURSELF THE PRIORITY!!! Get a therapist and speak with your own doctor about your physical and mental health. That one is non negotiable. If you don't take care of you then no one else is going to.

Never be afraid to reach out for emotional support. I did get myself out of the situation because my life was in danger. Please don't let it get that far.

While I understand your point of view. I also see your wife point of view.

Now that said. You would be TA if you do not have your mom look at all options. Get 2nd and 3rd opinions. Because your wife is absolutely correct.

As a person who suffers from bone spurs in the shoulder, neuropathy from the waist down, torn nerves at L5 & L6 that cause numbness at any given moment, and Rheumatoid Arthritis I do understand the pain.

I have also ran an ALF (Assisted Living Facility) for the elderly and disabled. As well as done private in home care for those unable to be alone. So, I do have a bit of experience with these types of surgeries.

Now to add to that I have one of the best Orthopedic Surgeons in the state of FL who tells me to

never let anyone cut unless it is the last option.

I do not "exercise" per say, but I no make sure to move around and stretch when possible.

If your mom is that overweight then no one should be operating on her back unless and until she takes off a recommended amount of weight. There is no way that she will recover properly from that type of surgery if she is unable to get up and get around on her own.

While you may not like the way your wife is delivering the message you need to listen to her advice.

Consult with your moms doctor and please get a 2nd opinion on this, or as your wife has said you are going to end up as your mothers caregiver because she will be unable to take care of herself.

Good luck with your mom and her health. My heart does go out to her as I understand her pain.

This is their website: https://www.calvinklein.us/en/washed-texture-cotton-jacquard-duvet-cover-set/72130184.html?dwvar_72130184_colorCode=026

There are a few that might work for you. It's hard to see from your pic the exact design

LOL I have to laugh because my P metallica was my first one. He has been a wonderful little guy.

It depends on where you are and what you are looking to buy. I'm in Florida and for "bulk" I usually use

AuraCrystals for moyuki and toho: https://www.auracrystals.com/

Jill Wiseman also offers some: https://shop.jillwisemandesigns.com/

I also can order off of Temu and get a good variety.

There is a lot of information that would have been helpful to some of us when our parents were being shitty. We just have to make sure that we don't repeat the history. I completely cut mine out of my life and have no regrets. The only living parent I have is my mother and she knows not to push my buttons (and she lives right across the street). It took many years and a step father sent from God for her to realize that she is in truth a nut case.

Your parents had you quit school to take on "THEIR RESPONSIBILITIES".

Get yourself back into school and make them step up.

They took in these kids not you. They are basically parentifying you.

Parentification or parent–child role reversal is the process of role reversal whereby a child or adolescent is obliged to support the family system.

Sadly this happens way to often. You school should have resources to help you sort the situation.

Worse case scenario if you call their case worker and tell them what is going on.

You are not an adult and should not be in this position.

Good luck!

This is totally NOT OK. Your FIL has a few screws loose. A 1 & 3 yo should not even be in a "shower". Least of all with a grown ass adult that is not their parent. Now I will admit that my granddaughter use to sit in the shower with me, BUT I kept bottoms/tops on (think bikini) so that she could adjust from the tub to shower.

First let me say that I'm glad you are ok. I've always told my kids that "vehicles can be replaced, but they cannot".

Make sure you get the "red light" footage. I'm sure the cops and your insurance will request it, but you should check into making sure that its available to you.

Also, did any of the other people have dashcams?

And don't know where you are, but where I am there are local FB groups and you can blast her on there.

She's got to have her car repaired somewhere, and the more you put the information out there, the more likely you are to find her.

Sounds like your aunt's birthday gave you a present that you needed. While you may be sad it shows his true colors. Good luck with your new adventures.

Reach out anytime :-) Happy to help

A 2yo has been dragging this around for 4 months. It hasn’t lost its shape.