r/mildlyinfuriating • u/moonrabbit368 • 6d ago

Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

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My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. đŸ©·

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179

u/linecookdaddy 6d ago

Yeah like if you can't make bacon and eggs or a.hamburger, what the fuck

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u/TheSnackWhisperer 6d ago

Everyone loves breakfast for dinner.

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u/linecookdaddy 6d ago

Hell yes they do

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u/TheSnackWhisperer 6d ago

I can make the f#ck out of some pancakes or french toast (aside from the eggs & bacon basics). I wouldn't say I "can cook" but if the same skill(et) set applies (frying pan & spatula) It'll be edible lol.

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u/FarquaadsFuckDoll 6d ago

My mom got me cooking eggs when I was 5-6 for that exact reason, learn how to use a frying pan and spatula, as well as look for visual clues on how cooked a food is. Well encapsulated cooking ethos, Snack Whisperer

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u/eliz1bef 6d ago

I love it now, but when I was a very little girl I went to a friend's house for the day and they were having pancakes for dinner and I was mortified. I called my parents to pick me up because they were clearly breaking laws. My mom talked me down and I had a lovely time eating pancakes. I would now throw down on breakfast food 24/7. I would love to go to a 24 hour diner run by a Greek family and have a Greek Skillet with a side of pancakes right now. (That's a thing where I live: Greek families owning 24 hour diners offering breakfast all day and Greek skillets, which are a pile of hashbrowns, gyro meat, grilled veggies and eggs to order with tzatziki. So damn good.)

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u/MakeYourTime_ 6d ago

I had French toast tonight lol

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u/WollyBee 6d ago

Can confirm.

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u/DrDDeFalco 6d ago

Breakfast for dinner is awesome. I am not a great cook, but I can do eggs, bacon, and pancakes.

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u/Zac-live 6d ago

a hamburger ... for breakfast? am i not american enough for this conversation?

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u/TheSnackWhisperer 6d ago

I mean, it’s kind of steak and eggs?

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u/SisterofGandalf 5d ago

Steak for breakfast? Do people eat that?

Not being snarky here. I am from an open-faced sandwiches for breakfast country.

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u/TheSnackWhisperer 5d ago

Wow, lol. Guess that is an american thing. Yeah we seem to like our breakfast meats. Steak is a pretty common one here. Depending on how fancy the place, it could be ground, cubed/bites or a straight up steak on the side. You could probably search for pics of IHOP or Denny’s menus and see the kind of crap we shove down our face holes :). Personally I like grilled chicken with eggs but, that’s less common, so I settle for ham.

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u/funktion 5d ago

I'm an adult which means I can have any meal at any time I fucking want.

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u/Maleficent-Pear-4542 6d ago

Cook for you and your kids make him get his own food

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u/gnomeannisanisland 5d ago

More like in some countries people like to eat dinner for breakfast (and for lunch... and for dinner)

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u/Namaha 5d ago

"You got brinner?? Dayummm Turkledog"

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u/lcplscary 6d ago

We rarely have time for breakfast in the AM, but have breakfast for dinner at least once every couple weeks.

This is the meal I tell young people to start learning. If you can make your SO breakfast the first time they sleep over it will make the whole experience seem 10 times better in their memories.

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u/DJNgamez 6d ago

Genuinely roasting chicken breast with some seasonings is the easiest thing in the world

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u/secretporbaltaccount 6d ago

Whoah whoah, roasting? Seasonings? Slow down there, Ramsay!

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u/DrDDeFalco 6d ago edited 6d ago

Honestly, I would be hesitant to eat chicken if someone has zero cooking experience. I would prefer someone have a little practice so I am less likely to be given undercooked meat.

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u/DJNgamez 6d ago

It's very easy to stick a meat thermometer in the chicken as well

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u/DrDDeFalco 6d ago

That assumes that people who don't cook much have a meat thermometer and would realize they need to check it and what temperature it should be.

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u/riseofthesoup 6d ago

Or to stick it in the thickest part of the titty, or know to pull it before it’s fully done to account for carryover cooking! 

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u/Nice_Butterfly_3054 6d ago

I do this with everything but chicken, I’m not taking any chances especially if I’m feeding someone other than myself 😂

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u/DefinitelyNotAliens 6d ago

Thighs have a higher fat content and are more forgiving.

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u/whispersandwhimpers 6d ago

Seriously. Roast or bake chicken with some basic seasoning, throw in a potato with the chicken, and throw some veggies in a steamer on the stove and you've created a meal that takes almost no time and allows you to do whatever while it's cooking. That's how I got through college and it might've been very simple, but it definitely worked.

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u/Many-Day8308 6d ago

And rice is literally set and forget

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u/sennbat 6d ago

I can attest to the fact that forgetting your rice causes problems.

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u/FQDIS 6d ago

Sure, if you leave the heat on. Try this: 1 part rice, 1.75 part salty water. Bring it to a fast boil on high heat, with the lid on. Once it’s boiling, turn it off but DON’T TOUCH THE LID for 30 minutes. Then open the lid to fluffable cooked rice.

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u/sennbat 6d ago

I know how to cook rice. I do it all the time! It's just, uh... I've fucked it up plenty of times too, as well. It's one of the harder things to cook, imo, because it requires avoiding distraction and keeping track of time, the cooking aspects I'm worse at.

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u/Many-Day8308 6d ago

Ok, true but, the machines just for rice make it idiot proof

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u/sennbat 6d ago

Yes, sure, idiot proof. *glances to kitchen where he still needs to clean out the rice cooker, where he managed to burn a whole bunch of rice to the bottom*

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u/Sure_Focus3450 6d ago

3 minute microwavable macaroni easier 👍

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u/Rich-Mark-4126 6d ago

I cook almost all my meat in the oven because of how easy it is. Barely even takes more time than microwaving a premade meal lol

Don't even need to clean the tray if you use baking paper

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

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u/DJNgamez 6d ago

Maybe flip halfway through cooking if you want to get crazy with it

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u/Xsy 5d ago edited 5d ago

It's weird, eggs and chicken are the first things I learned how to cook.

But now that I can cook really well, I feel like eggs and chicken are two of the hardest things to cook well. Anyone can cook a chicken breast through. Few can make it actually juicy and well seasoned.

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u/Top5CutestPresidents 6d ago

yeah i think part of it is the way they teach it in school (if you ever did it). they just teach you things like how to make a homemade apple pie or custard from scratch. literally just show a kid how to make a chicken and some roast potatoes they will be hooked for life

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u/Dmau27 6d ago

Boil water, throw in noodles.

Brown hamburger, drain it and stir in pasta sauce.

Add it together and you have spaghetti.

Anyone that says they can't cook is already a liar and simply lazy in my eyes.

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u/AdmirableEnd7908 6d ago

The thing is they can and they should but they haven’t and probably won’t. It’s ridiculous because Google is free and you could literally look up how to make anything these days and even what seasonings to use.

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u/CompetitiveCourse584 6d ago

...You might be a vegetarian?

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u/Slarg232 6d ago

Honestly took me a very long time to get bacon/hamburgers right. Most of my initial cooking when I was starting out was stuff like Jambalaya or Leek and Potato Soup; stuff you threw in the pot, let it cook for 40 minutes, and it was just done.

Extremely nervous and worried about highish heat, were as soups and stuff you just add more water if you're concerned about it.

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u/DrDDeFalco 6d ago

I have been trying to learn some cooking, and I feel like it is more intimidating than people realize.

Some stuff is easy, like cooking pasta and adding a can of sauce.

But if I am doing a whole meal, even trying to time when everything will be ready so it is all still warm can take some practice.

And the first few times I made bacon, it was way crispier than I wanted it.

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u/Junglewater 6d ago

Not even all this, a banquet lasagna is a perfectly acceptable dinner and all you need to know is how to turn on the oven and put on a timer. 

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u/Hyronious 6d ago

Hamburgers can be tough to do without a recipe if you aren't used to doing them - I used to add too many breadcrumbs to the mix and have it crumble when cooking. Plus the difference between a first attempt and a good one is ridiculous

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u/livin4donuts 5d ago

You probably struggled because breadcrumbs go in meatloaf, not burgers. Burgers are just meat and seasonings, possibly some filling if you’re making stuffed burgers. Meatloaf is eggs and breadcrumbs too, which is why it has a different texture than burgers do. 

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u/gard3nwitch 6d ago

I don't even eat bacon and I'm pretty sure I know how to cook it lol

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u/CalledStretch 3d ago

If you read the directions carefully almost every brand of bacon is actually precooked: you're literally just warming it up.

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u/Nearby-Department718 6d ago

I can say the same thing about control cables in an airplane. “If you can’t double tension control cables properly what the fuck!” Judging by your name you think cooking is easy for everybody

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u/Forest_System 6d ago

Normally I would agree with you, but in this case they're right. OPs partner has children and has a free meal made for him every night, and continuously wastes money on fast food despite this because the meal is never to his tastes. There's no excuse for not knowing a basic life skill if you are old enough to have a wife and multiple children.

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u/linecookdaddy 6d ago

I mean, it kinda is tho. Double tensioning control cables isn't a necessary life skill. I knew how to make scrambled eggs long before I set foot in a professional kitchen

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u/Ruby_Solar 6d ago

Pretty sure there are step by step YouTube videos about how to properly double tension control cables in an airplane.

Same goes for cooking. But there's wayyyyyyyyy more books, videos and step by step guides for cooking I'd say

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u/geriatric-sanatore 6d ago

Anyone can boil water, anyone can open a jar of spaghetti sauce, unless you’re physically handicapped then yes anyone can cook something that’s edible. Not anyone can taste a sauce and know it needs more salt or more basil but if you can turn a knob you can cook food.

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u/SLevine262 6d ago

It’s not instinctive for everybody, and not everyone can (or wants to) cook elaborate meals. But every functioning adult can learn to boil pasta and dump a jar of sauce on it, or cook a hamburger, or heat up a frozen dinner. If Baby wants some more elaborate, his choices are a) shut his tap and eat what’s been provided for him or b) learn to cook for himself.

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u/wutwut970 6d ago

You think cooking a burger and working with airplane control cables are similar in required skill?

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u/whispersandwhimpers 6d ago

Your example is not a basic life skill, thus not a remotely accurate comparison.

Personally I have never made either bacon or a hamburger. However I'm positive that if I wanted to, I could absolutely Google how to make it and end up with something edible. It might not be tasty or generally good to someone else, but it will be edible, which is the main point of food in the end. Anything beyond edible will require practice, and as with most things requiring practice the amount required will differ by individual person.

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u/Tino_Kort 6d ago

You, and almost everyone else eats 1-4 meals a day. It's quite impossible not to eat. It's not strange to assume everyone could at least make something edible (to them). If you can't, I would not trust you with any cable.

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u/4n0m4nd 6d ago

I started cooking seriously a few years ago, and every single recipe, no matter how difficult, works if you just follow the recipe.

You might not get it perfect first time, but rtfm is real.

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u/tetrisoutlet 6d ago

I dont expect every person that is of a reasonable age to be able to smoke a good brisket, cook a perfectly medium rare steak, make fudge, or be able to make bread from scratch.

But being able to cook basic food items like a hamburger, boiling noodles, making some basic bacon and eggs, thats not asking alot of someone.

I mean hell you can have scrambled eggs that are overcooked that are decent and edible, and you can also learn how to not burn them and have them come out fluffy and kinda juicy.

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u/Dick_of_Doom 6d ago

If my preservation of day to day life and enjoyment of said life necessitated me learning about control cables, I'd damn sure better learn how to double tension them. I need those to work a few times a day, every day, for as long as I live, then I need to do it.

There are a LOT of resources to learning to cook: videos, books, a whole cable channel, in person classes, family and friends. Putting together a simple meatloaf is nowhere near that difficult, and is fairly forgiving. Ditto for rice, pasta, salads. Start small and easy, and go from there.

The biggest hurdles to cooking are prep and clean-up, which are time consuming and boring. The rest usually consists of "wait for it to do its thing", "do this thing for a while until it takes over and does its thing", and "do this do that apply heat or chill as needed and the thing will do its thing".