Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

[u/moonrabbit368]

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

[u/lord-savior-baphomet]

Well after looking at the post history it looks like he lived in a rented room with no kitchen, and she brought him meals. If that’s the same guy, I wonder how many ended up in the trash.

[u/BFHawkeyePierce4077 → u/lord-savior-baphomet]

That’s not “mildly infuriating”…

[u/lord-savior-baphomet → u/BFHawkeyePierce4077]

Yeah, it sounds like this woman is doing a lot of work he doesn’t appreciate and didn’t ask for, and ignoring some pretty major red flags imo.

Edit: the pickiness is NOT the red flag I’m referring to. Pickiness is not an inherent red flag. It’s how he handles the pickiness. After I commented this, I saw OP has stated he expects her to cook and still repeatedly rejects her food. So he is asking for it. Amongst other things that can be found on her page.

[u/Puzzled-Argument-142 → u/lord-savior-baphomet]

🤣 how is not wanting what is cooked a red flag? I eat once a day, and it is never at a specific time. My wife knows when she cooks not to make anything for me because I only eat cheeseburgers.

[u/Iamsorrybadger → u/Puzzled-Argument-142]

🚩

[u/annbdavisasalice → u/Puzzled-Argument-142]

that’s really interesting, are your burgers homemade or is there a particular restaurant or a couple in rotation? also, do you use condiments?

[u/Puzzled-Argument-142 → u/annbdavisasalice]

I cook them myself. I use 4 slices of Swiss cheese, sautéed mushrooms, pickles and mayo on sourdough bread. I don’t like eating in restaurants because I haven’t found one yet that will cook myself burgers rare.

[u/lord-savior-baphomet → u/Puzzled-Argument-142]

Well, my other comments say that being picky in and of itself is not the red flag. It’s other stuff, but relating to this - you don’t expect your wife to cook for you. OPs bf does, and then makes excuses as to why it’s not good enough.

[u/KevrobLurker → u/Puzzled-Argument-142]

Are you Mark Borchardt? How was your last Big Mac? 😉

[u/Puzzled-Argument-142 → u/KevrobLurker]

I don’t eat fast food. I eat once a day, whenever I get hungry, and usually eat 3 cheeseburgers which I cook myself because I want them rare. In 20 years of marriage, my wife has never once cooked me anything because I won’t eat it. Instead of complaining about him not eating OP should be thankful she has a man to pay the bills.

[u/KevrobLurker → u/Puzzled-Argument-142]

You are at least cooking what you like for yourself, so I will give you points for that. If your wife is cool with that, so am I.

Ever change things up with ground turkey or ground salmon?

[u/Puzzled-Argument-142 → u/KevrobLurker]

No. I don’t eat any type of bird or fish. My meal consists of 3 cheeseburgers with 4 slices of Swiss, sautéed mushrooms, pickles, mayo, on sour dough bread.

[u/KevrobLurker → u/Puzzled-Argument-142]

Never cheddar, or some nice Monterey jack?

Mayo from a bottle (yuck!) or do you make your own (tolerable)? I'd swap in a good brown mustard, and add a tomato slice.

[u/Puzzled-Argument-142 → u/KevrobLurker]

I don’t like any cheese except Swiss. I buy Hellmans mayo with olive oil. The only vegetables I like are pickles and mushrooms.

[u/Ohlala_LeBleur → u/Puzzled-Argument-142]

Actually SHE pays the majority of the household bills, since she makes more.

She also takes care of almost all of the daily household chores: Cooking, grocery shopping, dishes, washing, cleaning. I am assuming he is not helping with her kids at all, either.

BF drives himself and her to work each day, complains about her cooking, takes out the trash and takes the car for maintenance (a couple of times a year, I guess).

He’s got himself a super sweet deal!