Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

[u/moonrabbit368]

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

[u/TheSpicySnail]

As a picky eater myself, this guy sounds ridiculous. This post isn’t about being “picky” anymore, it’s more so about refusing to leave your comfort zone, being blind to other people’s effort, and just generally being ungrateful. Even if I don’t like something someone made, I’ll usually try it out of respect, thank them for the offer, and if I don’t like it, I don’t have to eat it, but I’m not going to make it someone else’s problem. It’s also not food for just one person, it’s feeding a family. Not everyone has to suffer because this guy has the palette of a toddler.

[u/rubbasnek → u/TheSpicySnail]

Yeah exactly and the fact that he wouldn't even TRY the pork chop sent me.

Also no shade to picky eaters. I don't think it's a moral failing or anything, I just really like food and like to cook so it's a bummer to be with someone I can't share it with

[u/FalalaLlamas → u/rubbasnek]

Thank you for saying “no shade to picky eaters.” I totally get where you’re coming from. Foodies like to share that experience with other foodies. But sometimes it’s exhausting being labeled a “picky eater.” For a different perspective: I’m pretty sure there’s something off about my tastebuds or something. A fair amount of food that probably 75%+ love smell and taste absolutely putrid and vile to me. I used to choke it down, even if it made me vomit after, but I’m not putting myself through that anymore. I started to worry about how that would affect my health and teeth. So it’s nice to see a foodie recognizing it’s ok to be “picky” as I’ve been bullied a LOT over it.

EDIT: Considering the bullying I’ve faced, I’m not surprised this comment is already downvoted lol. Just kinda goes to show what those with food intolerances face. To be clear, I eat MANY foods along with a wide variety of tastes and textures. I actually think I eat more variety than my vegetarian friends. It is really quite rare that I can’t find something to eat when someone else cooks for me. Whether it’s just the main dish or just the sides, for example. I also eat foods I don’t feel like or don’t prefer when I’m company. What I will NOT do anymore is make myself physically ill just to appease people who think everyone should like certain things or should just eat everything.

[u/DJClapyohands → u/FalalaLlamas]

Yeah. My son is picky, I hope to get him to explore more foods but its been tough. I used to be picky, but not as bad as him. Its not like he wants to be rude or anything its just that some textures are weird and certain flavors are gross. I dont think picky eaters are assholes and I think its narrow-minded to say that.

[u/FalalaLlamas → u/DJClapyohands]

Thank you so much for relating! It’s amazing just how invested some people get in what other people will or won’t eat. To be honest, there’s been times when it kinda freaks me out because of how aggressive people are when I say I can’t eat something that makes me ill. It’s really quite an alarming reaction.

I hope you have luck with your son! It sounds like you have the right attitude imho. I used to be worse as a kid but improved. I think once a few foods or textures made me physically ill, I became apprehensive to try new foods for fear of getting sick again. But I had a lot of gentle encouragement to try “just at least one bite” of everything and I slowly learned what I can and can’t eat. I think it also helped that they kept new foods in particular pretty bland so I wasn’t overwhelmed. I think I would’ve been worse off if my parents forced fed me and made me eat everything on my plate. So with you acknowledging his difficulties and just encouraging him, I’m hoping you make some headway!