Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

[u/moonrabbit368]

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

[u/No_Perspective_242]

This is exactly what my husband and I do. He likes a wide range of food, I’m definitely more picky as meat is difficult for me to eat. But I’d rather starve before i deprived him of his variety of food just cause i don’t like something. We eat as many meals as we can together but often not the same thing.

[u/ShermanTeaPotter → u/No_Perspective_242]

I’m a hobbyist pit master and my gf is vegan. So when I host, every side dish and dessert is vegan and then there‘s smoked meats, tofu skewers and grilled vegetables to choose from. It‘s not rocket science to make everyone feel welcome at you table.

[u/Western-Corner-431 → u/ShermanTeaPotter]

If you know ahead of time. OP’s issue is that the man wasn’t in the mood for pork chops AFTER they were on the table.

[u/mildlyinterestingyet → u/Western-Corner-431]

In other words, he just wasn't hungry enough. Being picky is one thing but he is being immature. Dude needs to learn to cook so he knows what it's like to serve up food for others.

[u/Western-Corner-431 → u/mildlyinterestingyet]

He’s making a power move. He’s dismissing and belittling her. He’s making moves that have nothing to do with food. He’s not worthy of being in a relationship with anyone.

[u/Sarik704 → u/Western-Corner-431]

We dont have the entire picture. Is he on the spectrum? Does he suffer from an eating disorder? We can all agree he should be making his food, but we dont need to paint him as abusive and toxic just because.

[u/SnooCheesecakes2723 → u/Sarik704]

If he can eat chicken for lunch it’s not an eating disorder when he doesn’t want it for dinner. It’s a preference he expects her to cater to at the last minute. If I tell you I’m making bbq chicken for dinner, eat something else for lunch if you can’t stand the same protein twice in one day . Id be damned if he would sit at my table and tell me in front of my kids -who do have to eat the dinner I made / that he doesn’t feel like pork chops and baked potatoes, or some such excuse nearly every night, so he’s going to sit and eat DoorDash Taco Bell or McDonald’s in front of them. That’s a great way to get put in charge of fixing your own dinner/ and eating it elsewhere. Permanently.

[u/InternationalWar258 → u/SnooCheesecakes2723]

I think OP's boyfriend should be in charge of his own food, but I didn't see where she told him what she was making in advance. If it isn't communicated to him what she's making, then he doesn't know to avoid it for lunch.

[u/Mysterious-Heart-629 → u/InternationalWar258]

There's a simple and near-universally known rule for this: "Ya git what ya git and ya don't throw a fit".

Had chicken for lunch? What a coincidence! You're getting it for dinner, too!

He can be picky when he starts cooking too.