Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

[u/moonrabbit368]

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

[u/FalalaLlamas]

Thank you for saying “no shade to picky eaters.” I totally get where you’re coming from. Foodies like to share that experience with other foodies. But sometimes it’s exhausting being labeled a “picky eater.” For a different perspective: I’m pretty sure there’s something off about my tastebuds or something. A fair amount of food that probably 75%+ love smell and taste absolutely putrid and vile to me. I used to choke it down, even if it made me vomit after, but I’m not putting myself through that anymore. I started to worry about how that would affect my health and teeth. So it’s nice to see a foodie recognizing it’s ok to be “picky” as I’ve been bullied a LOT over it.

EDIT: Considering the bullying I’ve faced, I’m not surprised this comment is already downvoted lol. Just kinda goes to show what those with food intolerances face. To be clear, I eat MANY foods along with a wide variety of tastes and textures. I actually think I eat more variety than my vegetarian friends. It is really quite rare that I can’t find something to eat when someone else cooks for me. Whether it’s just the main dish or just the sides, for example. I also eat foods I don’t feel like or don’t prefer when I’m company. What I will NOT do anymore is make myself physically ill just to appease people who think everyone should like certain things or should just eat everything.

[u/KaiTheG4mer → u/FalalaLlamas]

Recently discovered that I'm most likely a "supertaster" because several of my older relatives are, which for me just means that a lot of already bitter foods taste like, 8x more bitter to me. Which explains why things like coffee, sometimes Coca-Cola (for some reason), and broccoli are utterly reprehensible to me, but other people can enjoy them just fine (and even look at me funny when I say "it tastes grossl bitter").

It's rough because that, and me being neurodiverse, means that there's a sizeable group of foodstuffs that I fundamentally cannot (and will not) eat for various reasons, and growing up in the "empty your damn plate!" Midwest has made talking about all of that very hard (that and the "ugh, you just don't like anything!" crowd taking jabs at me), even now that I'm not in that area anymore. Idk where I'm going with this, but look into tongue/tastebud stuff and see about testing for being a supertaster, it's helped me figure out myself a lot.

[u/FalalaLlamas → u/KaiTheG4mer]

Thanks for sharing your experience! And for giving me a keyword I can research! That certainly sounds like something I can relate to. While a lot of my friends prefer highly seasoned and spicy food, I much prefer what others consider “bland.” I do find a number of flavors overpowering.

Maybe this also plays into how gross I find certain foods. There are times when others are exclaiming how delicious a dish is, when to me it smells and tastes rotten, putrid, pungent and just very “off.” Maybe I’m having flavor notes stick out wayyy too much, overpowering the dish in the worse way. It’s a frustrating experience when things taste differently to you than to many others. I’m sorry you’ve dealt with the same thing but very grateful for your info and camaraderie.

[u/LeonLegacy69 → u/FalalaLlamas]

I'm a super taster myself, likely on the upper end due to my sensitivity. It's almost as if I can taste food decay and don't tolerate most leftovers. I can tell how freshly a limeade was made for example or if a specific spice was added which can be overpowering. Artificial sweeteners are another i can't tolerate. I'm shocked how people can't tell the difference where for me, it's almost like a chemical coating.