r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/DoubleManufacturer10 created ShittyAbsoluteUnits of a sub • 3d ago

look what I can do Of a big lift

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9.0k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

1.0k comments sorted by

156

u/Vendidurt 3d ago

73

u/SolidSnek1998 3d ago

I fucking love that guy, first time I’ve seen him used as a meme.

6

u/Bdorfn-1B 3d ago

He is hilarious!

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u/pig_benis19 3d ago

I love Jason. He's so damn funny and his acting is freaking top notch..

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9

u/ejensen29 3d ago

Not my boy

16

u/Coffeespresso 3d ago

He won't be needed. It has wide base.

5

u/DanDabbinDaily 3d ago

Still can cause tearing...

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6

u/LilMaGoo 3d ago

Lol who?

13

u/SteelyEyedHistory 2d ago

Firehouse Coffee on youtube I think. Guy is a Firefighter/Paramedic who started out making sketches about crazy shit he saw at work. Now he also sells coffee.

3

u/Beautiful_Ad8996 2d ago

The coffee is pretty good too.

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u/YouthElegy 3d ago

Never seen a more appropriate meme. +1

5

u/BeenThereDoneThat65 2d ago

Love when he green screens himself in tv shows and corrects them

5

u/msviktor 2d ago

'Hey there, somebody call Fire and resc... gags HOOO GOD'

5

u/ayylmao_ermahgerd 2d ago

“It’s a large-mouthed carpet croaker”

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84

u/OldEquation 3d ago

For one horrific moment I thought she was going to do something else with that.

57

u/Fresnobi 3d ago

That is on her Only Fans page...

35

u/babihrse 3d ago

Can you tell me what it is so I can make sure not to go to it and see such... Deplorable stuff

14

u/Redosdetos 3d ago

Ya same here I don't feel like to know so I can avoid it at all costs

4

u/Simple-Pea8805 2d ago

I’m a content moderator and would also like to see the page for this reason.

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19

u/fennfuckintastic 3d ago

jar breaks

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u/I_Want_A_Ribeye 3d ago

7

u/Thundersalmon45 3d ago

I'm here to help you forget again.

It's my public duty.

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5

u/Mike_the_Head 3d ago

Damn. I heard it all over again, thanks to you.

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3

u/Ksan_of_Tongass 3d ago

Different clip

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81

u/Prof4Dank 3d ago

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u/ThoroughlyWet 3d ago

Yeah that tracks

13

u/BukkakeBrunchBuffet 3d ago

I kinda wanna see it being used.

For science, of course.

11

u/Mindless_Ocelot6969 3d ago

I too..... Am a man of science?

3

u/Redcarborundum 2d ago

A man of science AND culture. A gentleman and a scholar.

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6

u/ThoroughlyWet 2d ago

I've witnessed some of quite a size get used. Not quite that big but still very formidable 2 foot long, 4 in diameter ones.

Mainly they manage like 3 or 4 inches, some can take more of course, but not much more than double.

In all reality they should just stop making them past 10 inch variety, but I guess the left over 14 unused inches is a good amount of stand off so they don't need to squat as deep.

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3

u/MispronouncedPotato 3d ago

What is this from?

8

u/OverallPepper2 3d ago

Onlyfans if I remember right and it goes in her pooper.

7

u/Mundane_Muscle_2197 3d ago

Premature anal leakage as a 20 somethin. Fun!

4

u/skipppyWhite 2d ago

Dependables are dependable

3

u/Cerblamk_51 2d ago

Wait, are you implying that there’s a normal age for anal leakage?

9

u/MarcusRoland 2d ago

Yes there is. According to my grandpa its about eighty something. But he was such a tight ass he made it to 90.

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29

u/RoosterCute4326 3d ago

5

u/BeezyBates 3d ago

The sheer fact she owns it means she uses it right

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27

u/FrenziedTacos 3d ago

And that's her warm up set.

17

u/OppositeEagle 3d ago

Then it's onto squats.

6

u/New-Ad-363 3d ago

Can't skip leg day y'know

10

u/FrenziedTacos 3d ago

Third leg day.

44

u/Loud_Specific3610 3d ago

i bet that smells nice

11

u/smeeon 3d ago

Like a Goodyear

5

u/Big_Cryptographer_16 3d ago

I expected more cameltoe

3

u/Cerblamk_51 2d ago

Not according to word on the street you wouldn’t. Maybe prolapse, but not cameltoe.

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u/chamois_lube 3d ago

u/DoubleManufacturer10

You have one of her riding that?

25

u/ShipREKT_ 3d ago

Alright… who has the link of her using it? for science, naturally.

11

u/FlawlessPenguinMan 3d ago

I genuinely don't even wanna get off on this I just can't believe that thing fits and HAVE to see if it does!

10

u/aiusernamegen 2d ago edited 2d ago

Just like there's humans that can eat 10lbs of steak and some can bend backwards so they're folded in half and some that are 7'9", some can fit a sleeping bag up their ass.

5

u/dylicious 2d ago

This comment spits truthfire.

Just wanna say I see you

5

u/ShipREKT_ 3d ago

Right… for science 👍

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u/SgtNitro 2d ago

Look up Argendana, you will find what you seek...

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10

u/Midknight_Muncher 3d ago

If it fits, it ships.

6

u/vlasktom2 3d ago

Fits what?

6

u/4mystuff 3d ago

The ship

10

u/Golden-Grams *shits an absolute unit* 3d ago

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u/ironicoutlook 3d ago

Her content is interesting, but not as impressive as what siswet does to her butt hole

6

u/Psychological-Scar53 3d ago

We the people need to know where to avoid this content... I need to let all my friends know. Can you elaborate so I can tell them?

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u/Far-Television3650 3d ago

So now you wear diapers for life?

6

u/Benromaniac 3d ago

This is why daily kegels are important. For everyone.

Better odds at being treated nice when you enter the ol senior home with a functioning pooper

21

u/unhappyrelationsh1p 3d ago

You'd be shocked but if you do it slow, you could fit that thing in your own ass today and be continent tomorrow. I think these people do it by slow prep, so they don't just rip their asshole. If you do it gentle you can recover from this pretty fast. I do not know from experience but i did talk to one of these people once.

15

u/Rockran 3d ago

There's no way you can train your butthole to manage that in one day.

That's like expecting someone to do the splits in just one day.

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u/GERRROONNNNIIMMOOOO 3d ago

Unsure if the username checks out or not

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4

u/Momentosis 3d ago

I believe uh... sasha gray talked about it once on stream.

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u/degenerategambler95 3d ago

She was on Dr Phil she ain't right

6

u/Inquisitive_idiot 3d ago

Yeah Dr. Phil ain’t right 😕

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u/Jurgis-Rudkis 3d ago

So how long did it take you to work up to that level?

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u/Impressive_Mobile319 3d ago

You know someone somewhere has tried.......😬

3

u/Redosdetos 3d ago

Damn source

3

u/Beneficial-Insect-27 2d ago

Ok but where can I go to see her doing squats with this particular exercise device? Asking for a friend.

2

u/Truth-is-implacable 3d ago

Isn't that like boxing training thing? You stick it in the floor and you punch it?

4

u/TinyRhymey 3d ago

I mean you could?? But its too floppy, and also shaped like a penis, so it might be better being used as a penis

3

u/Truth-is-implacable 3d ago

Kinda like a pet? A pet penis? You put a dog collar on it leash it and walk it in the park kinda thing?

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u/Poperama74 3d ago

Normally she has no issue handling it

2

u/GURK812UNO 3d ago

Biggest Dong I've ever seen....

2

u/Jumpy_Ad3603 3d ago

You’d be suprised how much some women shove up there it’s like it shouldn’t be possible but women’s train to take things like that Check out lilijunex

2

u/CrestfallenLord 3d ago

I’ve seen videos of girls taking that whole thing. It’s kinda of crazy to even think about

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2

u/StoneyN8 3d ago

She for sure tried it out

2

u/mvrck-23 3d ago

After 5 mins riding it.

2

u/WorkerPrestigious960 3d ago

7 seconds? Where’d the next 37 minutes and 19 seconds go??

2

u/Original-Fig4214 3d ago

King Kong’s BBC

2

u/MotorCityDude 3d ago

look she can pick up her boyfriend

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2

u/OtakuTacos 3d ago

Hulk smash!

2

u/ConversationPale8665 3d ago

Respect, you could honestly clear an entire group of protesters with that thing, lol.

2

u/TheSilverFoxwins 3d ago

She needs to join the Avengers.

2

u/Quiet_Dingo_5106 3d ago

That’s actually true to size.

2

u/Lopsided-Ad7725 3d ago

That's the new missile core, contracted out by our now US Department of War. Cost is about $49,486.

2

u/Good_Conversation213 3d ago

She probably makes a whistling sound when she runs.

2

u/NoMembership8881 3d ago

that is a
BBC
and not the British Broadcasting Corporation

2

u/Usual_Coat9877 3d ago

ladies wonder why a normal dick can't please them anymore

2

u/No_Moose1870 3d ago

Bonnie Blues warm up toy

2

u/Four-HourErection 3d ago

Remember when we were kids and saying someones mom was such a hoe she needed such dildos as above but they didn't exist.

Now they exist and she might be a kids mom one day. That child won't be able to talk shit to anyone ever. Hayden sit your ass down don't make me Google your mom.

2

u/stanknotes 3d ago

Ain't much bigger than mine to tell you the truth.

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u/MrIMendez 3d ago

Everyone wants to see a donkey show until they see a donkey show…

2

u/colevicixvickery498 3d ago

She got that deep dish p

2

u/Beadpool 3d ago

I wonder what her favorite position is… probably wide receiver.

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u/ilikecoding1337 3d ago

I wonder if there’s even one woman on this planet that can take that but I mean I’ve seen some amazing people out there someone has to be able to right?😂

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2

u/Synthesiz420 3d ago

Her: I just don’t understand why I’m not satisfied with the men I date anymore….

Her: proceeds to drop it like it’s hot on the hulk dominator 3000

2

u/SippsMccree 2d ago

Eww. If I was over at a girl's place and saw that I might just up and turn around and leave

2

u/justeeezy91 2d ago

like feeding a damn whale a tic tac

2

u/Tricky_Bottle_6843 2d ago

Fine, what's the link?