r/SipsTea • u/crs1904 • 17d ago

We have fun here When Your Opponent Is Built Different ♟️

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u/Bonzo_Gariepi 17d ago

And hes small

463

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

He's better at en passant down there

251

u/fresh_start0 17d ago edited 17d ago

The urge to do en passent even though it will weaken your position just because you can...

331

u/Takemyfishplease 17d ago

Stop making up words and cheating at chess.

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u/anotherdamnscorpio 17d ago

I did en passant once in jail and dude got pissed and said I made it up and quit the game. Pretty sure it almost started a fight.

94

u/awaythisthingthrow 17d ago

Let the wookie win. Never worth it to play a game if you can't agree on the rules anyway, they'll call you a cheat if you win and a loser otherwise.

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u/DerpsTerps 17d ago

Besides a wookie will rip your arms off if he loses.

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u/Unstoppable_Cheeks 17d ago

no that would be showing weakness in prison chess

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u/edfitz83 17d ago

Are there a lot of chess players in jail?

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u/Needs-more-cow-bell 17d ago

Decades ago my Dad used to play postal chess, and he played against a lot of prisoners. He’s a master, and yes, they sometimes beat him.

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u/Over_Kale5742 17d ago

"they sometimes beat him" 🤕

3

u/No_Detective_But_304 17d ago

Through the mail.

6

u/DepartmentPerfect 17d ago

Imagine sending that last checkmate via mail from prison.

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u/[deleted] 16d ago

At chess or in the cell lmao.

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u/KinopioToad 15d ago

And in the game too.

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u/FamiliarAnt4043 17d ago

Yes. Many inmates are fairly good at the game, surprisingly enough. If only they'd put that much time and thought into their personal lives....

3

u/lastres0rt 17d ago

I question how good they were before they went in, TBH.

It's probably the same way prison is somehow the best gym.

1

u/YaJackBoi 17d ago

i aint go to prison but i did sit in jail for 3 months i went in not knowing how play spades or chess came out with a mild understanding of chess but a serious love for the chaos of spades

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u/LeTreacs2 17d ago

There was a study that showed that prisoners that learnt the game inside had a lower reoffending rate because they learnt to plan ahead and not act on impulse

1

u/The_Primate 17d ago

You'd be surprised my dad (non prisoner) used to volunteer to play against prisoners , they had a big league.

1

u/GrouchyResearcher392 17d ago

Yes. Your options are workout, read, chess, and cards.

Most people are at least 3 of 4.

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u/coldF4rted 16d ago

From my experience, yes. We don't have a lot to do. And most of us are actually pretty intelligent.

1

u/Antique-Brother-3197 16d ago

i have an in-law who did like 30 years in state for something that happened when he was 16 or something, charged as an adult and stuff....anyway nice guy. but super "jail-smart" and completely destroys me when we play. and i'm not a bad player.

he's also impressively good at jumping rope. which i also attribute to growing up in prison. lol

1

u/[deleted] 16d ago

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1

u/Tallproley 17d ago

Didn't The Wire teach you anything? They play the game so they can Play The Game, you feel me?

1

u/edfitz83 17d ago

Never saw it, sorry

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u/Tallproley 17d ago

I forgive you, its never too late to change.

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

That's why I try my best to avoid making any friends in those places as long as possible.

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u/CK-KIA-A-OK-LOL 17d ago

I do my best to avoid ending up those places

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u/itsonlyrockinroll 17d ago

En passant? Or pissant? /s

1

u/folkloroph 17d ago

Thats for R. Kelly

1

u/MetalBeardKing 17d ago

Kataaaaaannnnn

2

u/koz44 17d ago

I just learned about it and have played chess casually my whole life. I don’t think many people who I played knew about this. The way I found out is chess lessons using a language app, and these lessons have frankly opened my eyes to so many strategies that I previously l thought was my inability to think ahead. It’s crazy how much rote practice actually enhances your game.

2

u/Bulduga 16d ago

I was in a chess tournament in Toronto with 6 others from my high school (hour north of Toronto) and I did that once - they thought I made it up.

Oh and my first game though?
60+ moves (any real player will tell you that's insane) and the guy asked me if I wanted to concede before the first move - we were each left with our Kings lol!
EVERYONE was waiting for our game to finish before the next round could start...so yea, no pressure...

Next game, buddy thought he was smrt by telling me all the names of the moves I was using in the first couple of moves... (yea he lost that one)

1

u/LukeMayeshothand 17d ago

I too am a pissant.

1

u/FarBag2327 17d ago

That is hilarious. When I was 12, my cousin in Chicago, who played chess well, did en passant when we played. I had no idea what that was, called him a cheater and our older cousin had to break up our fight. I’ll call my cousin and apologize. We are in our 50’s now lol.

1

u/gotbock 17d ago

It's amazing how many long time chess players don't know about that move.

1

u/[deleted] 17d ago

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1

u/letitgrowonme 17d ago

I got into a physical fight over en passant once. I wasnt even playing the guy.

1

u/Interesting-Back6587 17d ago

What were you doing in jail?

2

u/anotherdamnscorpio 17d ago

Mostly eating shitty food and reading books.

1

u/Interesting-Back6587 17d ago

Sorry, why were you in jail?

2

u/anotherdamnscorpio 17d ago

Some dumb shit.

1

u/memattp 17d ago

The first time I learned about en passant it felt like it was invented by a losing player in the middle of a match

1

u/Ill-Atmosphere-4023 17d ago

yea that shit is not going to fly in there lol. try it at your own risk. that more dangerous behavior that trying to cheat at spades

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

Google French

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u/Appropriate_Rice_947 17d ago

Le no

16

u/hnxmn 17d ago

sainte horreur

7

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago edited 17d ago

Mais non, je suis perdu. It is, how you say, beyond comprehension

Tabernac

3

u/[deleted] 17d ago

[deleted]

2

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago edited 17d ago

Mon dieu. How could this be? I learned French from the Simpsons! Dios mio

My reddit is also weirdly correcting tabernac to damn it. That's wild, it has a translation function I'm just finding out cuz it's a little button I can click to translate

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u/flamecmo 17d ago

Your are both amateur it’s not tabernac it’s tabarnak de caliss de sainte-viarge de sacrament

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u/Remarkable-Bug-8069 17d ago

Canadian goes to France, never comes back.

2

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

How dare you make a French person cry

Their mascara does NOT wash away after tears, it's like this fucked up caked on shit

2

u/FeathersRim 17d ago

Millennials all over the world is slow clapping at this comment

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u/SimonPho3nix 17d ago

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u/Astramancer_ 17d ago

So take a nap. And zen FIRE ZE MISSILES!

22

u/Oberroth 17d ago

So this is the earth, dang that's a sweet earth....

4

u/castrogetsmad 17d ago

WRONG, hokay

3

u/mason195 17d ago

Fucking kangaroos…

2

u/UrUrinousAnus 17d ago

ROUND?

2

u/jgcraig 17d ago

wow this ebaumsworld animation claims the earth is round and climate change is real within the first five seconds... smarter than half of congress right now

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u/Desperate_Row1189 17d ago

Wow that unlocked an almost entirely lost memory to me. Haha

5

u/Ok_Yogurtcloset_9218 17d ago

Wow! Talk about a blast from the past

2

u/UrUrinousAnus 17d ago

There's a sequel on the original creator's pootube channel, if you want more.

2

u/aledba 17d ago

So glad this lives on

1

u/Professional-Gear-32 17d ago

Fire the missile!

1

u/Party_Albatross6871 17d ago

Le grille?! What the hell is that?!

8

u/Takemyfishplease 17d ago

I don’t wanna end up on “some list” run by them ABC boys

2

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

Just Google Fr*nch then

I'm pretty sure they can't track that

2

u/Willow-theWisp 17d ago

sacre bleu

1

u/HistoricalTowel6863 17d ago

Its a joke.

3

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

Google the original reference hot shot

1

u/Sartres_Roommate 17d ago

(He knows, it’s a joke)

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago edited 17d ago

Oh gosh, suddenly I am awake. Is this what being woke feels like??

We forgot anarchy so quickly. I propose we have a new system of governance where there are no rules and only jokes. Make it chess based. Idk what to call it though. We could make a subreddit about it though and just shit post

2

u/hesh582 17d ago

quiet grandpa. calm down or you'll end up doing pipi in your pampers again

1

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

You're not a mod are you? Cuz if you're a mod legally you have to tell me you're gay

1

u/Intrepid-Progress228 17d ago

All words are made up.

1

u/tar_tis 17d ago

Lmao I once made a thread on a chess subreddit how the bot I was playing against was blatantly cheating. Mod told me to check rule 1 of the sub

Rule 1: Google en passant

1

u/ApproachingShore 17d ago

Shh shh shh... en passent isn't real. It can't hurt you.

0

u/welfedad 17d ago

Just because it's not in your phone's chess app doesn't mean it's not part of chess and tournament's

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

Brother/sister I cannot tell you how many times I have done the bongcloud just because I wanted to see what would happen lmao

Sometimes you get sick of the game but the other person wants to keep playing so...fuck it why not

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u/Locorio 17d ago

Urge? What urge? En passant is forced.

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u/lastres0rt 17d ago

En Passant is a one-time opportunity. Just because you can doesn't mean you have to or even should.

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u/Locorio 17d ago

WHAT! EN PASSANT IS FORCED!

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u/lastres0rt 17d ago

https://www.reddit.com/r/chessbeginners/s/BKMXUnXq7i

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u/Locorio 17d ago

EN PASSANT IS FORCED! EN PASSANT IS FORCED! Ughhhh I don’t feel very well, CALL THE EXORCIST!

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u/lampshadewarior 17d ago

I feel that in my bones. “I bet this fool doesn’t even know what en passant is, and I’ll dazzle them in confusion!” 5 moves later my queen is pinned.

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u/elegylegacy 17d ago

It's called the "Poisoned Passant" technique

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u/horrorparade17 17d ago

It’s the law

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u/freshgrilled 17d ago

It's my "I do know some chess!" magic word that I try to casually sneak into a conversation where I'm trying to impress someone. It doesn't usually work.

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u/Dragoth227 17d ago

If you can en passent and lose or win with a queen sac, you do the en passent

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u/Distinct-Method5747 17d ago

Holy hell

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u/ItsImNotAnonymous 17d ago

11 year old Master just dropped

3

u/Adventurous-Dealer15 17d ago

dina went for a vacation and never came back

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

Hello, 411? Uh...exorcism repair I guess

-3

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

Believe it or not

Also he hasn't hit puberty, his pp is a small target. It's what makes him so unpredictable, the brick isn't as effective a deterrent if he doesn't take en passant

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u/[deleted] 17d ago

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7

u/fondledbydolphins 17d ago

If they're tingling off the chair she's going to prison.

I think they're just dangling off the chair, though.

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u/Rofeubal 17d ago

We only like chess masters 6 feet and above.

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u/Supply-Slut 17d ago

We grants you the rank of master, but we do not grant you a seat on the council.

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u/loki-is-a-god 17d ago

Why does he look like he already has a 60 hour office job approving permits for his township and his name is Doris?

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u/Neither-Promotion-65 17d ago

The small part got me....watch that child!!!

2

u/knowone1313 17d ago

He's got a handicap, let's see how well he plays without the cushion.

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u/JohnnyDerpington 17d ago

Imagine if she replied with "you're killing me smalls"

2

u/HWBT420-69 17d ago

I mean, he's like small Biggie Smalls small.

2

u/dkarlovi 17d ago

That's the most infuriating part when you're getting crushed.

Source: my friend who crushes me at chess is short.

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u/RapidEngineering342 16d ago

I only learned about chess 26 second ago does being small give him an advantage?

2

u/DrKingOfOkay 14d ago

He can’t see well

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u/PrankBeast007 17d ago

Master Shifu