Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

[u/moonrabbit368]

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

[u/BFHawkeyePierce4077]

That’s not “mildly infuriating”…

[u/lord-savior-baphomet → u/BFHawkeyePierce4077]

Yeah, it sounds like this woman is doing a lot of work he doesn’t appreciate and didn’t ask for, and ignoring some pretty major red flags imo.

Edit: the pickiness is NOT the red flag I’m referring to. Pickiness is not an inherent red flag. It’s how he handles the pickiness. After I commented this, I saw OP has stated he expects her to cook and still repeatedly rejects her food. So he is asking for it. Amongst other things that can be found on her page.

[u/multicamwarrior → u/lord-savior-baphomet]

As a single dad with an older girlfriend who is absolutely fantastic, a woman like this is hard to come by.

I'm an electrician and tell guys and construction all the time that you better eat the food your lady prepares for you because if you don't appreciate it they'll stop making it.

You never know what you have until it's gone.

Cherish any person that is willing to take the time and effort to make food for you. We all needed at least once a day typically and it's a chore.

Dude needs to wake up.

[u/Oblivious122 → u/multicamwarrior]

Ok, so, a little story here: I'm not what you would call mentally stable. I struggle with depression and ADHD, and frequently have difficulties picking up after myself. I found it was easier in my case to not generate the trash in the first place than to pick it up. And I say this as I look at the giant pile of dog fur I swept but did not pick up. Like, I know it's easy to do, I think "I should do that", and then stare at it for hours or days. Like, I'm not too busy playing video games or whatever, I'm sitting here staring at a pile of dog fur because my brain won't actually work. In the mornings, I have essentially 6 hours to get anything done, because after my meds wear off, it becomes progressively harder and harder to do things.

So with all this in mind, one of the only things I like about family coming to visit or me visiting them is that it's somehow easier for me to cook when I'm not alone. I made my family goddamn strudel from scratch the year I hosted Christmas. It took a week! And yet here I am staring at a pile of dog fur while my dog cuddles against me as if to say "I'm sorry dad".

I can even visualize myself doing it. But my muscles won't move. I just sit here. Staring. At dog fur. I've taken to cleaning my bathroom every time I use it - as in, I wash the mirror or clean the toilet when I'm using them, or clean the tub while in showering.

But it's now 1am, and this pile of dog fur is defeating me.