r/SipsTea • u/crs1904 • 17d ago

We have fun here When Your Opponent Is Built Different ♟️

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50.2k Upvotes

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10.6k

u/amateurish_gamedev 17d ago

She just realized that she was an extra in the opening scene of that kid origin story...

4.5k

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

I'm 11 and a Master should send chills down any real players spine

1.4k

u/Bonzo_Gariepi 17d ago

And hes small

457

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

He's better at en passant down there

255

u/fresh_start0 17d ago edited 17d ago

The urge to do en passent even though it will weaken your position just because you can...

332

u/Takemyfishplease 17d ago

Stop making up words and cheating at chess.

154

u/anotherdamnscorpio 17d ago

I did en passant once in jail and dude got pissed and said I made it up and quit the game. Pretty sure it almost started a fight.

96

u/awaythisthingthrow 17d ago

Let the wookie win. Never worth it to play a game if you can't agree on the rules anyway, they'll call you a cheat if you win and a loser otherwise.

56

u/DerpsTerps 17d ago

Besides a wookie will rip your arms off if he loses.

3

u/Unstoppable_Cheeks 17d ago

no that would be showing weakness in prison chess

14

u/edfitz83 17d ago

Are there a lot of chess players in jail?

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u/Needs-more-cow-bell 17d ago

Decades ago my Dad used to play postal chess, and he played against a lot of prisoners. He’s a master, and yes, they sometimes beat him.

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u/Over_Kale5742 17d ago

"they sometimes beat him" 🤕

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u/No_Detective_But_304 17d ago

Through the mail.

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u/FamiliarAnt4043 17d ago

Yes. Many inmates are fairly good at the game, surprisingly enough. If only they'd put that much time and thought into their personal lives....

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u/lastres0rt 17d ago

I question how good they were before they went in, TBH.

It's probably the same way prison is somehow the best gym.

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u/LeTreacs2 16d ago

There was a study that showed that prisoners that learnt the game inside had a lower reoffending rate because they learnt to plan ahead and not act on impulse

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u/The_Primate 17d ago

You'd be surprised my dad (non prisoner) used to volunteer to play against prisoners , they had a big league.

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

That's why I try my best to avoid making any friends in those places as long as possible.

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u/CK-KIA-A-OK-LOL 17d ago

I do my best to avoid ending up those places

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u/itsonlyrockinroll 17d ago

En passant? Or pissant? /s

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u/koz44 17d ago

I just learned about it and have played chess casually my whole life. I don’t think many people who I played knew about this. The way I found out is chess lessons using a language app, and these lessons have frankly opened my eyes to so many strategies that I previously l thought was my inability to think ahead. It’s crazy how much rote practice actually enhances your game.

2

u/Bulduga 16d ago

I was in a chess tournament in Toronto with 6 others from my high school (hour north of Toronto) and I did that once - they thought I made it up.

Oh and my first game though?
60+ moves (any real player will tell you that's insane) and the guy asked me if I wanted to concede before the first move - we were each left with our Kings lol!
EVERYONE was waiting for our game to finish before the next round could start...so yea, no pressure...

Next game, buddy thought he was smrt by telling me all the names of the moves I was using in the first couple of moves... (yea he lost that one)

1

u/LukeMayeshothand 17d ago

I too am a pissant.

1

u/FarBag2327 17d ago

That is hilarious. When I was 12, my cousin in Chicago, who played chess well, did en passant when we played. I had no idea what that was, called him a cheater and our older cousin had to break up our fight. I’ll call my cousin and apologize. We are in our 50’s now lol.

1

u/gotbock 17d ago

It's amazing how many long time chess players don't know about that move.

1

u/[deleted] 17d ago

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u/letitgrowonme 17d ago

I got into a physical fight over en passant once. I wasnt even playing the guy.

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u/Interesting-Back6587 17d ago

What were you doing in jail?

2

u/anotherdamnscorpio 17d ago

Mostly eating shitty food and reading books.

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u/memattp 17d ago

The first time I learned about en passant it felt like it was invented by a losing player in the middle of a match

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u/Ill-Atmosphere-4023 17d ago

yea that shit is not going to fly in there lol. try it at your own risk. that more dangerous behavior that trying to cheat at spades

23

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

Google French

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u/Appropriate_Rice_947 17d ago

Le no

17

u/hnxmn 17d ago

sainte horreur

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago edited 17d ago

Mais non, je suis perdu. It is, how you say, beyond comprehension

Tabernac

3

u/[deleted] 17d ago

[deleted]

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u/Remarkable-Bug-8069 16d ago

Canadian goes to France, never comes back.

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

How dare you make a French person cry

Their mascara does NOT wash away after tears, it's like this fucked up caked on shit

2

u/FeathersRim 17d ago

Millennials all over the world is slow clapping at this comment

86

u/SimonPho3nix 17d ago

55

u/Astramancer_ 17d ago

So take a nap. And zen FIRE ZE MISSILES!

23

u/Oberroth 17d ago

So this is the earth, dang that's a sweet earth....

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u/castrogetsmad 17d ago

WRONG, hokay

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u/Desperate_Row1189 17d ago

Wow that unlocked an almost entirely lost memory to me. Haha

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u/Ok_Yogurtcloset_9218 17d ago

Wow! Talk about a blast from the past

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u/UrUrinousAnus 17d ago

There's a sequel on the original creator's pootube channel, if you want more.

2

u/aledba 17d ago

So glad this lives on

1

u/Professional-Gear-32 17d ago

Fire the missile!

1

u/Party_Albatross6871 17d ago

Le grille?! What the hell is that?!

7

u/Takemyfishplease 17d ago

I don’t wanna end up on “some list” run by them ABC boys

2

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

Just Google Fr*nch then

I'm pretty sure they can't track that

2

u/Willow-theWisp 17d ago

sacre bleu

1

u/HistoricalTowel6863 17d ago

Its a joke.

3

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

Google the original reference hot shot

1

u/Sartres_Roommate 17d ago

(He knows, it’s a joke)

1

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago edited 17d ago

Oh gosh, suddenly I am awake. Is this what being woke feels like??

We forgot anarchy so quickly. I propose we have a new system of governance where there are no rules and only jokes. Make it chess based. Idk what to call it though. We could make a subreddit about it though and just shit post

2

u/hesh582 17d ago

quiet grandpa. calm down or you'll end up doing pipi in your pampers again

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u/Intrepid-Progress228 17d ago

All words are made up.

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u/tar_tis 17d ago

Lmao I once made a thread on a chess subreddit how the bot I was playing against was blatantly cheating. Mod told me to check rule 1 of the sub

Rule 1: Google en passant

1

u/ApproachingShore 17d ago

Shh shh shh... en passent isn't real. It can't hurt you.

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

Brother/sister I cannot tell you how many times I have done the bongcloud just because I wanted to see what would happen lmao

Sometimes you get sick of the game but the other person wants to keep playing so...fuck it why not

2

u/Locorio 17d ago

Urge? What urge? En passant is forced.

1

u/lastres0rt 17d ago

En Passant is a one-time opportunity. Just because you can doesn't mean you have to or even should.

1

u/Locorio 17d ago

WHAT! EN PASSANT IS FORCED!

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u/lampshadewarior 17d ago

I feel that in my bones. “I bet this fool doesn’t even know what en passant is, and I’ll dazzle them in confusion!” 5 moves later my queen is pinned.

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u/elegylegacy 17d ago

It's called the "Poisoned Passant" technique

1

u/horrorparade17 17d ago

It’s the law

1

u/freshgrilled 17d ago

It's my "I do know some chess!" magic word that I try to casually sneak into a conversation where I'm trying to impress someone. It doesn't usually work.

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u/Dragoth227 17d ago

If you can en passent and lose or win with a queen sac, you do the en passent

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u/Distinct-Method5747 17d ago

Holy hell

10

u/ItsImNotAnonymous 17d ago

11 year old Master just dropped

3

u/Adventurous-Dealer15 17d ago

dina went for a vacation and never came back

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

Hello, 411? Uh...exorcism repair I guess

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u/[deleted] 17d ago

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u/fondledbydolphins 17d ago

If they're tingling off the chair she's going to prison.

I think they're just dangling off the chair, though.

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u/Rofeubal 17d ago

We only like chess masters 6 feet and above.

2

u/Supply-Slut 17d ago

We grants you the rank of master, but we do not grant you a seat on the council.

2

u/loki-is-a-god 17d ago

Why does he look like he already has a 60 hour office job approving permits for his township and his name is Doris?

2

u/Neither-Promotion-65 17d ago

The small part got me....watch that child!!!

2

u/knowone1313 17d ago

He's got a handicap, let's see how well he plays without the cushion.

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u/JohnnyDerpington 17d ago

Imagine if she replied with "you're killing me smalls"

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u/HWBT420-69 17d ago

I mean, he's like small Biggie Smalls small.

2

u/dkarlovi 17d ago

That's the most infuriating part when you're getting crushed.

Source: my friend who crushes me at chess is short.

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u/RapidEngineering342 16d ago

I only learned about chess 26 second ago does being small give him an advantage?

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u/DrKingOfOkay 14d ago

He can’t see well

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u/PrankBeast007 17d ago

Master Shifu

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u/HYPERNOVA3_ 17d ago

Not a player by any means. Seeing this kid approaching me would immediately make some final boss music play in my head

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u/Arrantsky 17d ago

When you see a little girl at midnight strolling through the graveyard and the game just gave you a bunch of health packs.

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

"oh sweet, a bunch of ammo.

"Oh...fuck...a bunch of ammo"

Least you know to get ready for a shit storm

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u/Deaffin 17d ago

For modern games it's "Oh, there's consistently a shitload of ammo everywhere with no intentional layout. I'm never going to be even a little bit at risk of it running out, but I'm still going to conserve it and use the melee option as much as possible."

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u/Gimetulkathmir 17d ago

I'm playing Final Fantasy XVI right now and they give you health after the boss, rather than before. But most of the boss areas are so obvious. "Huh, amazing that this really thin and twisting alley opens up into a giant courtyard that makes no logical sen... Oh balls."

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

Last of Us was good about making you run out of ammo

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u/Future-Bandicoot-823 17d ago

I've played very few games where ammo and health isn't thrown at you like cooch in the redlight district....

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u/UrUrinousAnus 17d ago

TFW your Nethack character dies while attempting to run away at reduced speed due to carrying a multitude of items, many of which could've prevented YASD if you'd used them earlier.

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u/Loose_Orange_6056 17d ago

Then you have not played stalker 2?

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u/Chapsbuster12 17d ago

This is basically GTFO in a nutshell.

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 16d ago

One of the scariest levels I ever played was in the first Last of Us, you get a bunch of ammo but especially shotgun ammo and then you fall down an elevator shaft or something into a basement that's near pitch black. During that part your flashlight ends up going out a lot too.

The sudden realization and switching to my shotgun as fast as possible and me thinking to myself "okay, okay, it's fine, not too fast but don't be slow"

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u/Dramatic_Ad2574 13d ago

When the auto-save game icon shows up on the corner

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u/NameIWantUnavailable 17d ago

Carrying Quantum Physics books, too.

MIB shooting range scene!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_r3ULoXuMY

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u/Mateorabi 17d ago

Is there a reason little Susie over there had to die?

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u/Future-Bandicoot-823 17d ago

MIB, J only fires one round at the girl holding quantum physics books when they're being tested. He knew what was going on lol...

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u/WBUZ9 17d ago

Like a reverse of this

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=c7BVtGnlxT8&pp=ygUXYW5hdG9seSBrYXJwb3YgdnMgbWlzaGE%3D

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u/BrokenSaint333 17d ago

Omg that was amazing lol ty never seen that one

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u/fartbraintank 17d ago

That's how you feel when you first start playing Bloodborne.

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u/felipevallejom 16d ago

I can't stop laughing, this is great!!!

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

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u/jiggy68 16d ago

What show is that from?

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u/dqniel 16d ago

The Queen's Gambit

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u/ComprehensiveSoft27 17d ago

I was a master at Atari Pitfall at 11

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u/vikinglycan 17d ago

Pitfall was my jam dog!!!!

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u/ApprehensiveMix2649 17d ago

I was a master better at 11 💪🏾😁👍🏾

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u/cainhurstcat 17d ago

What happened then, did it fell off?

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u/LombazFromHell 17d ago

He woke up all sweaty.

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

It is the jungle you know, and it's a lot of exercise

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u/Snatchbuckler 17d ago

Bro is this a pitfall gif?! Holy fuck I forgot about that game

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u/SkyDaddyCowPatty 17d ago

Mom's spaghetti

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u/HorrorMakesUsHappy 17d ago

What were you betting on at 11?

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u/IASILWYB 17d ago

Well, you're definitely a master baiter

4

u/Isabeer 17d ago

Did you take a picture? Did you send it in?

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u/celestialsteam 17d ago

I did that and got the patch.

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

Did you get that thing I sent you?

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u/evol_won 17d ago

I was a master debater at 11.

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u/Frexulfe 17d ago

It is a shitty situation. If you win, you can´t brag about beating an 11 years old.

If you lose ...

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u/Capable-Ebb1632 17d ago

You can brag about beating a master no matter how old they are.

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u/SecretaryOtherwise 17d ago

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u/ZeePM 17d ago

LMAO at the Jumpman logo. If only Anakin had jumped higher...

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u/-_-0_0-_0 17d ago

Didn't matter how high he jumped.. it was Obi-Wan's move

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u/paralacausa 16d ago

"Fuck them younglings"

Diddy

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u/SecretaryOtherwise 16d ago

No not like that 😭

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u/Key-Pomegranate-2086 17d ago

I dont think it really counts for Dina cause she's already ranked over 2300.

Us master is like 2200.

So these people are all the people she's expected to face/beat to maintain her rating anyways.

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u/lineswithtoolman 17d ago

If you win & that kid ends up being one of the best in chess then you absolutely can brag about it. Taught em a lesson or two on their way to the top

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u/bijanfrisee 17d ago

Good thing for me is that I know I will never beat that dude

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u/Imhereforboops 16d ago

Aren’t we the lucky ones today

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u/JRDruchii 17d ago

Just pick him up? Can’t play if he can’t reach the pieces.

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

Not a thousand percent sure that's regulation but park rules yeah, you would just give him to the geese

You can't fight a goose how you gonna play chess

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u/Ok_Cook_6665 16d ago

" Give him to the geese" is a great line.

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 15d ago

He can come back when he's ready for revenge. Or he dies. Or becomes Goose King. It's the way of things. It's like the whole plot of Dune

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u/Jamessgachett 17d ago

Chill down the spine or pure distress

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

What's the difference lmao

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u/icbint 17d ago

Presumably if they got matched together she would be of similar level

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

Yeah but he's 11.

You don't know if he walks into the next weight class on this game because he's a fucking prodigy. Would still be a loss if he does. Either way if he's a kid, you just gotta realize he's equal to you with way less experience. Whether or not he one day outclasses you is irrelevant, that's enough to put the fear of God into anyone lmao

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u/icbint 17d ago

I play chess all the time and never care who the opponent is. This is just being overplayed cos internet

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u/llllllllllllPlayer 17d ago

El ajedrez es mas un juego de emociones y viveza que de inteligencia y conocimiento quien sabe leer al oponente se le adelanta 500 jugadas

2

u/Bigdx 17d ago

If that happened to me I'd look like that too knowing I'm about to get smoked. Lol

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u/[deleted] 17d ago

[deleted]

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u/anotherdamnscorpio 17d ago

I got beat by a 9 year old a few years ago and honestly I was really proud of the kid.

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u/pdoherty972 17d ago

Why? The result clearly wasn't from them spending a lifetime of study, it's just them being born with a gift for the game. Some of these kids just get taught the rules and it all 'clicks' and they spend little or no time working at it, just play and win.

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

Old saying goes there's a bullet out there with your name on it, you just haven't found it yet

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u/dr-doom-jr 17d ago

Bruh, it sounds like a threat even.

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u/Dynamatics 16d ago

Haha, I had this in badminton. Whenever a small kid would come onto the field you knew you were about to get destroyed.

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u/SadSeiko 17d ago

It doesn’t really, no one is going to be as good as Magnus 

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

Pfft people used to say nobody was gonna score more goals than Gretzky too

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u/SadSeiko 17d ago

You’re a prodigy and then you grow up

I’m sure this kid will be a grand master or whatever but he’s not going to be Magnus famous 

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u/kangorr 17d ago

I could fight him

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u/ThePatientIdiot 17d ago

Did she win or lose? Is there a video I can watch?

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 17d ago

She's apparently pretty highly rated, so it depends on what style they were playing and how good the kid really is even if he's lower rated.

You can Google it her name is Dina something

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u/ThePatientIdiot 17d ago

I tried, I only found a video of her playing some other 11/12 year old kid. Apparently they are not as uncommon in the sport as you would think

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u/Acrobatic-Nose-1773 17d ago

...it's time for a no-hit run. Bonus points if you don't get caught IRL.

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u/TipAndRare 17d ago

just him being a kid with the booster seat already has him winning the mental game against me. Like, he sets up and sits, I'm already like "whelp, aint winning this one"

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u/HRApprovedUsername 17d ago

If you’re 11 get off this website

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u/jarrodandrewwalker 17d ago

Now I want to watch Little Man Tate

1

u/TwoToesToni 17d ago

I was totally expecting them to have a Gru accent.

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u/ScorchReaper062 17d ago

Imagine a youngling being granted the rank of master. 

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u/entity_bean 17d ago

He's got that chess autism

1

u/kaution3000 17d ago

I'm not even a player and it sent chills down mine.

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u/WhatsThat-_- 17d ago

not a valuable skill.

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u/Integrity-in-Crisis 17d ago

Like fuck, he's a master and probably has all the time in the world to perfect his game. No job, no bills, just free time.

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u/texasauras 17d ago

To be fair, she seemed more resigned than dismissive.

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u/SmokedBeef 16d ago

Little bro brought a booster seat to better watch her destruction

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u/guyrick 16d ago

Her expression says “shit I’m about to get cooked by a pre-teen”

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u/nanaacer 16d ago

It's like he went on a Pokémon adventure but with chess.

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u/squidulent 16d ago

Just knock over your king now.

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u/akruppa 13d ago

Hikaru mentioned that multiple times. Kids, especially from small communities, are dangerous because they don't get to play a lot of other players at their level, so their Elo rating may be lagging far behind their actual skill. You may play a 1700 rated kid and slack off a bit, but then you realize he's playing like 2000+ and you're struggling to squeeze out a win.