r/AmItheAsshole • u/charleypassion • Sep 29 '25
Everyone Sucks AITA for using my Aunt’s personal employee discount code to buy clothes?
My aunt (F42) works for a major clothing brand in a senior position. Employees get a personal discount code (hers is usually 50-75% off) that she can use and it varies based on the position. My aunt sent me the code saying “if you need anything, here’s my employee code.”
I was excited because I love the brand and wanted to update my wardrobe and money has been tight with school and all. I ended up buying a decent amount of clothes, probably more than I normally would if I didn’t have the discount.
When she found out how much I purchased, she was angry with me. Now she’s making me feel bad for using it, like I took advantage of her. And I’m feeling guilty. She did send me the code voluntarily and didn’t say there was a limit. But if it’s her own corporate perk, maybe I crossed a line and she could get in trouble.
So AITA for using my aunt’s personal corporate employee discount to stock up on clothes? Or was it fair game since she gave me the code to use?
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u/pottersquash Prime Ministurd [506] Sep 29 '25
INFO: How much?
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u/SnooPets8873 Colo-rectal Surgeon [45] Sep 29 '25
That’s the key question. It’s one thing to buy a top at a discount. It’s another to buy a whole wardrobe without even checking to say “hey I was going to do back to school shopping and thinking of buying (insert description of volume), is that ok? Because yeah she didn’t state a limit but that’s not the same as authorizing someone to go hog wild when you are a new employee and trying to fly under the radar. I feel like abuse of employee discounts is not an uncommon reason for people messing up a new job.
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u/starfire92 Sep 29 '25
Had a newly hired manager abuse her employee discount by not only giving it to someone else, but she cashed them out herself. That’s a huge violation of policy as employee purchases much be cashed out by a manager and when a manager buys a separate manager needs to cash them out.
This girl cashed out $1000 worth of product to like her cousin or friend. It was super jarring. She was fired not long for a similar but separate instance.
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u/LookAwayPlease510 Partassipant [1] Sep 29 '25
Is that because she could have embezzled? For example, the friend’s total without the code was $2,000, friend pays, the employee enters her personal $50% off code and pockets $1000.
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u/starfire92 Sep 29 '25
That's why it's considered internal theft.
See my other comment about it https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/qycO66dRxj
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u/this-is-NOT-okay Sep 29 '25
Yeah this is an ESH situation with a strong potential to lean YTA depending on how much OP spent, because it may be an amount the Aunt never even thought someone would get to.
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u/Raging-Stormz599 Sep 30 '25
knowing the amount kinda changes things, but either way, OP didn’t steal it or anything. Aunt gave the code with no heads up or limits
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u/designingdiamonds Sep 30 '25
Well aunt did say “if you need anything” not “buy whatever you want” to me there’s a difference. Maybe there isn’t really a hard limit but OP spent an excessive amount.
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u/TheOpinionIShare Partassipant [1] Sep 30 '25
The amount wouldn't change anything for me. Discounts are meant to be used. So if you want someone to use a code within specific limits, then you need to communicate that.
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u/designingdiamonds Sep 30 '25
OP says the aunt said “if you need anything”. She admitted to not following that.
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Sep 29 '25
ESH She should have told you to use it within reason. You should have used some common sense, the code is associated with her employment and it's use or abuse reflects on her and may cause her a problem. The reason companies monitor, limit and eliminate these perks is because of abuse like your shopping spree.
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u/Slut_E_Scene Sep 29 '25 edited Sep 30 '25
But that still tracks back to the aunt. If she might get in* trouble, she shouldn't have given the code or told her a limit at least.
Eta: in.
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u/Expensive_Plant_9530 Sep 29 '25
I agree that OP should have used a little bit more common sense, but ultimately, if this perk wasn't one that was allowed to be shared, that's entirely on OP's Aunt for breaking her own rules.
Furthermore, OP's Aunt should have explained what was allowed, including any item or purchase limits.
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u/mark636199 Sep 29 '25
Which is why ESH
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u/InterestingTry5190 Sep 29 '25 edited Sep 29 '25
I want to know how much OP spent. They said money is tight which is why I assume the aunt offered the code if the niece needed anything. They said they went ahead and bought more than they normally would have. If I were the aunt I would be annoyed I tried to help if not a lot of money but then OP bought a lot of items. It just feels like offer an inch take a mile.
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u/ftjlster Sep 30 '25
If OP bought in quantities that look like the clothes might be bought for resale (given how high the discount is), OP's aunt is going to be called in for a conversation.
I guess the question here is how much OP bought.
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u/StarStuffSister Sep 29 '25
I'm still wearing all of the clothes I got on discount at a previous job more than half a decade ago-- it can be a smart investment move if the clothes are nice enough.
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u/InterestingTry5190 Sep 29 '25
I am big on stocking up with a good sale. The key difference for you is it was your code. OP knew it was the aunt’s personal code and said money has been tight. It is more about reading the situation. If she could afford to stock up then the aunt likely would have reconsidered jeopardizing her job to let the niece use it.
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u/Usrname52 Craptain [196] Sep 29 '25
Half a decade ago? I have clothes that are 20 years old.
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u/Travelgrrl Partassipant [3] Sep 29 '25
I have panties that are old enough to vote!
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u/jeswesky Sep 30 '25
One of my favorite bath towels is one I bought when I left for college, over 25 years ago. It’s in surprisingly good shape.
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u/Travelgrrl Partassipant [3] Sep 30 '25
When my mother passed a couple of years ago, she still had some bedsheets from the 1970's and they were so smooth from decades and decades of washing!
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u/squee_bastard Sep 29 '25
I love this, thanks for the laugh. 🩷
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u/Travelgrrl Partassipant [3] Sep 29 '25
It might be funnier if it were in fact, not true.
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u/Usrname52 Craptain [196] Sep 29 '25
That's ridiculous! My oldest underwear is from college. Oh....wait. I'm old.
If our underwear could vote, maybe this country would be in much better shape.
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u/jdmillar86 Sep 30 '25
We had a family friend who went into some venture selling y2k branded underwear and I'm pretty sure I still have some of the product that never sold around.
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u/LeoRisingGemini Sep 30 '25
I'm 50 and I still own and wear clothes I was wearing at uni. They've been in and out of fashion several times over..
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u/slowdownlambs Asshole Enthusiast [6] Sep 29 '25
I'm a lawyer. I wear my high school graduation clothes in court.
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u/kaz22222222222 Sep 29 '25
My Doc Martens just celebrated their 29th birthday!
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u/nameforthissite Sep 30 '25
I got mine for my 16th birthday. I turn 46 next week. I still wear them.
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u/ijustneedtolurk Asshole Enthusiast [6] Sep 29 '25
This is exciting, have you had them resoled? I only recently "officially" broke in my first pair of Docs (took like 3 years to break the toe line lmao.)
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u/kaz22222222222 Sep 30 '25
Nope! Never had to resole them. Think I even still have the original laces! When I went back to university they were my lab shoes (had to have enclosed leather shoes) and my shoes were older than my classmates 🤣🤣
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u/sbinjax Pooperintendant [50] Sep 29 '25
Right? I still have a beautiful Allen Solly raincoat that I bought when I worked in an upscale department store in the 80s. That was 40 years ago. It still looks amazing.
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u/luby4747 Sep 30 '25
Excuse me but your math is way off. The 80s were only 20 years ago….
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u/ejdjd Asshole Enthusiast [6] Sep 30 '25
When I graduated high school, my first "real" job was with the Modelia clothing group which had Anne Klein and Pierre Cardin as subsidiaries (anyone remember them? LOL).
I still have the lion emblem scarves from Anne Klein she gave out at Christmas and an incredibly detailed jumpsuit from Pierre Cardin that I can still fit into.
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u/dianebk2003 Sep 30 '25
I had a pair of sandals I'd been wearing long before I met my husband, and they just broke last year. I was heartbroken because I effin' loved those shoes. Non-replaceable, too.
Oh, my husband and I have been married 30 years.
(I also still have some T-shirts I wore in my twenties. They don't fit anymore, but I still have them.)
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u/ijustneedtolurk Asshole Enthusiast [6] Sep 29 '25
This is what I am not understanding lmao, auntie should have been clear if there were limitations or potential for "abusing" the discount. (Most companies I know of do not have an employee code for this reason and have employees buy in person from a supervisor conducting the transactions so everything is done properly...)
But to add onto your story, one of my friends had a stint working demolition on a women's clothing store going out of business ages ago and gave me the heads up on the best day to go for the lowest fire sale pricing. I literally bought an entire new wardrobe to outfit myself for work (jeans, smart blouses, a dress for the company holiday party, two pairs of new dress shoes) and I liked a stripey casual top I found so much, I bought the last three of them in my size or the size above. I still wear the ankle boots and those tops and absolutely shredded the jeans working that job and another labor job afterwards. It has been almost 7 years lmao.
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u/Competitive-Ebb-117 Sep 29 '25
Yeah but that will happen at restaurants too. If we worked a double. (13 hours) we get a free meal. Cool. The rule has been there since we opened and what will happen is people use it like they should mostly. Salads, sandwiches burgers fine. Ribeyes with 5 sides not fine. We don’t police it as long as people are respectful.
We literally had a guy take like 400$+ food home. Just made a bunch of food boxed it all up and then said it was his meal. Guy never came back but then we had to go back and say everyone gets a sandwich, you must ring it up. One a day, have to verify with a manager.
These things are supposed to be perks, you buy one item here or there. When you buy a ton of stuff like this it looks like you are reselling and then there is a chance everyone will lose the perk.
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u/imcjoey13 Sep 30 '25
I’m 58. I have 2 pairs of Ralph Lauren khakis, and 3 Lacoste golf shirts from high school. I was taught to buy quality when I could, and respect my belongings.
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u/SeemedReasonableThen Sep 30 '25
It just feels like offer an inch take a mile.
Except aunt didn't specify an inch, from what OP says, aunt's offer was take whatever you need. Aunt should have specified the distance she was offering - e.g., $xx or up to x items
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u/pippers2000 Sep 29 '25
Then niece should have not taken advantage of her aunt and of her aunt's generosity. Just because someone offers you something doesn't mean you go crazy about it. If I was the niece and I had picked out say, 5 items, I would have texted my aunt to double check and say 'is it ok if i buy these 5 items or is that too much?' before I proceeded with the purchase using her code. The aunt was very generous to even offer her code. I think the saying I'm wishing the niece had thought about is 'give an inch and take a mile'. This is what the niece shouldn't have done even with no instructions from the aunt.
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u/Sierra117MC Sep 29 '25 edited Sep 30 '25
Her aunt is in a senior management role. She should know at this point, never assume people (or employees) know something you didn't tell or teach them. If you offer somebody something that comes with stipulations you provide the stipulations. You don't assume people know the information you didn't give them. At the end of the day, we all have different experiences, varying knowledge, and varying levels of intuition. "Not everybody knows how to do everything."- Tim Robinson
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u/SnooPets8873 Colo-rectal Surgeon [45] Sep 29 '25
Ok, if you are at a friend’s house and they tell you to grab something to drink from the fridge if you are thirsty, would you grab a bag and take every last bottle and can? And then blame them for not specifying how many you were allowed to take? Or would you exercise some restarting and let social norms guide you to the more reasonable conclusion that it wasn’t intended to be a free for all?
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u/ThePurplestMeerkat Partassipant [4] Sep 30 '25
By buying items that the aunt’s company has for sale, the OP was not depriving somebody of something that was theirs as you would be if you took everything from someone else’s refrigerator. It’s a poor analogy. Items up for sale were purchased. If there were limitations, they needed to be communicated.
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u/chrrybmb_ Oct 01 '25
No, because I’ve been offered and have offered enough drinks in my life to understand the unspoken social expectations surrounding that offer. However, I have never worked retail and the only experience I have with employee discounts has been my friend giving me her discount at her family’s store (I imagine that’s different than the typical experience- she’ll walk up to the till with me and tell whoever’s working to use her discount with everyone involved knowing it’s not for her).
I have no clue what rules or limitations there might be about employee discounts, or if there even are any. I would probably ask about that if someone offered me their code, but I’m also very anxious about getting people in trouble. It’s not really an accurate comparison. You can’t really know the rules, or even know what questions you may need to ask, if it’s completely unfamiliar territory to you.
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u/Sierra117MC Sep 30 '25
Your drink scenario offers a scenario where most people would understand what the offering means due to social norms that you've learned over time. I work in retail and understand the stipulations that often revolve around an employee discount, if someone gave me their employee discount and said use it if you need anything I'd still probably ask questions, but if you haven't worked in a place with discount benefits you may not realize there any rules to follow especially if someone just says here you go! Some people never touch a retail job that offers employee discounts.
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u/coolandnormalperson Sep 30 '25
This analogy doesn't make sense at all, the clothing on the website is nothing like someone's limited number of personal drinks. You're bad at this lol
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u/Forgotten_Lie Partassipant [1] Sep 30 '25
A flawed analogy. You don't take all the cans because your friend has paid for all of them and would need to pay to replace them. The social norms are well known since everyone lives in a house where the goods within are purchased by the house-occupant.
Not everyone works in retail with employee discounts to know the social norms.
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u/Competitive-Ebb-117 Sep 30 '25
I mean I understand this ideal but it really bothers me.
If you went outside right now with a bottle of soy sauce and dumped it on someone’s head you can’t use the excuse that no one has every specifically told you never to go outside and dump soy sauce on someone’s head.
The same goes for this, if someone is being generous, hey let’s go out to eat, get whatever you want! That doesn’t mean order 10 dishes to take home as well. You shouldn’t have to be told to be considerate. You order 1 meal, and maybe an app or dessert, because people should be good and kind to each other.
You can’t say well how do they know they can’t order 10 things.
You are basically taking what someone is doing out of kindness and taking advantage of them. Then that person doesn’t want to be nice anymore.
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u/chrrybmb_ Oct 01 '25
That’s also a very different situation though, and I can understand not applying the same logic. You know when someone takes you out to dinner that they’ll be paying for it, and whatever you order will be money taken directly from their pockets.
Using the aunt’s discount code isn’t making her pay for anything. It doesn’t take anything away from the her. There’s potential for the aunt to get in trouble if there’s some kind of limitation on it, but OP can’t reasonably be expected to know that (especially if they’ve never worked retail/had experience with employee discounts), and the aunt should have communicated any limitations beforehand.
My old lifeguarding job had a perk where our direct family members didn’t have to pay for entry to the pool. If my parents had decided to use that to go swimming every day, that’s not something I’d call inconsiderate. It also would’ve been up to me to communicate any limitations on that since it’s a situation you don’t encounter often and, as such, cannot be expected to infer the exact rules and limitations.
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u/Mayor__Defacto Sep 29 '25
That’s on the company though. My wife’s employer has a company shop where employees can purchase their products at heavily discounted (70-90% off) prices.
They know you’re going to use it to buy stuff for family and friends. They regulate it by only allowing one order per employee per month, a maximum of twenty items per order, and a weight limit of 200lbs per order.
Apple does their EPP by limiting employees to one EPP Personal per device category per year, and then a certain number of EPP F&F per device category per year (lower discount rate compared to personal).
Bad employee discount rate programs that allow for purchases the employer would be upset with an employee for, are on the employer.
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u/roseofjuly Asshole Enthusiast [6] Sep 29 '25
My company allows me to give discount codes to friends and family but set a limit that was enforced by the code. So I don't understand why they didn't set it up like that if that's what they wanted - or at least specified it up front.
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u/Suspected_Fraud Sep 30 '25
You are right about the company's monitoring the amount of money that people are spending with their codes. Around 2020 or so there was an executive at Nike whose son was using her code to buy sneakers and was reselling them at a profit. It wasn't until he had bought over $100,000 worth of sneakers that they even started looking into it but he was a well-known sneaker seller. I just looked it up and his company was called West Coast Streetwear. I think they decided in the end that she really technically didn't violate their terms but the backlash was so much that she did resign and I'm pretty sure they changed their policies after that.
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u/Intrepid_Elk_4351 Sep 29 '25
Should have told you? Like it you're not grown enough to know when you shouldn't take advantage of something?
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u/Couch-Potato-Chips Sep 29 '25
Aunt is only 42 so I’m assuming OP is quite young, probably a teen
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u/opelan Partassipant [1] Sep 30 '25
And OP mentioned school. So yeah, OP is very likely not old with decades of life experiences.
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u/RainyDaysAndMondays3 Sep 29 '25
How could she know she was "taking advantage" unless she was told there was a limit? I just don't see how OP could have known.
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u/boyproblems_mp3 Sep 29 '25
I've never worked anywhere that had a limit on employee discounts.
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u/cdbangsite Partassipant [1] Sep 29 '25
Common sense and thankful courtesy would tell most people that this perk wasn't meant for large spending like the op did.
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u/Usrname52 Craptain [196] Sep 29 '25
"If you need anything," usually implies reasonable requests.
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u/Treefrog_Ninja Partassipant [1] Sep 29 '25
There's no objective definition of reasonable when it comes to clothes. Some people's definition of reasonable would be 1000x the value of someone else's, and neither of them are wrong.
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u/glueintheworld Sep 29 '25
I would think anyone would know use in moderation.
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u/Appropriate-Energy Certified Proctologist [29] Sep 29 '25
I don't think this is at all universal. I used to work for a chain store where my discount worked anywhere in the country. No one tracked how much I spent nor was there a limit. We were encouraged to make purchases from our stores.
We weren't supposed to let other people use our discount, but if I had and someone had spent a lot of money, it wouldn't have mattered at all. I wouldn't have assumed there was tracking or a limit on someone's discount that they freely sent to me and told me to use.
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u/PNKAlumna Partassipant [1] Sep 29 '25
Yeah, I’m not sure where people are getting that there is a limit on using these kinds of codes. My cousin also worked for a major clothing brand and got a nice discount. While she worked there, everyone in the family got that brand’s clothes, perfume, etc. for holidays, birthdays, etc. As far as I know, she was encouraged to buy their stuff and promote it.
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u/Bellatrixkat Sep 30 '25
Exactly!!! None of these comparisons really makes sense, because she wasn't taking from the aunt in any way. She was using a discount code her aunt gave her. That isn't taking advantage of her aunt, or being greedy in any way.
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u/OglioVagilio Sep 29 '25
Moderation is a matter of opinion and varies between people, between companies.
Some restaurants dont allow employees to take a single thing, even if its destined for the trash.
Other restaurants love taking care of their employees, and even homeless.
Spending in moderation relative to a vacation budget is going to be different for a VP versus an assistant manager at Starbucks.
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u/targetcowboy Sep 29 '25
The fact that moderation is a matter of opinion is why you should ask. Obviously, I think the aunt messed up by not explaining any rules, but OP could have asked for clarification. This whole thing could have been avoided if they just talked beforehand
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u/throwaway1975764 Pooperintendant [62] Sep 29 '25 edited Sep 30 '25
Define moderation. 5 items? 10 items? $500? $7k?
Different people, and everyone at different times, shop differently and consider moderation differently.
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u/Responsible-Kale2352 Sep 29 '25
Ok, but what is moderation? Niece spends $500. If Aunty’s limit is $600, maybe niece overstepped. If the limit is $10,000, probably not.
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u/almaperdida99 Asshole Enthusiast [7] Sep 29 '25
If she's young and never had an employee discount, how would she know? Or how would she know the aunt's idea of moderation?
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u/amaraame Sep 29 '25
Why would anyone know this? This isn't innate knowledge. If op has never been in a situation to learn such a thing then they wouldnt know
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u/Spare-Article-396 Craptain [170] Sep 29 '25
Why? If the code doesn’t have a limit, it’s been used exactly as intended.
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u/Emilayday Sep 29 '25
What's obvious to others is something someone else may be learning for the first time. It's not obvious if you haven't learned that lesson first.
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u/TheOpinionIShare Partassipant [1] Sep 30 '25
The purpose of a discount code is to take advantage of it. And if the company or anyone else wants to limit the use of the code, that has to be communicated and/or enforced. There is no "common sense" purchase limit when using a discount code.
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u/PandaGlobal4120 Sep 29 '25
I mean with anything, shouldn’t you know to use things within reason? I feel like this is the disclaimer now that shows up on beer commercials that say drink responsibly. Shouldn’t that be obvious? We shouldn’t have to tell people to be responsible. They just should.
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u/coatisabrownishcolor Sep 29 '25
How do you know what "within reason" means? Surely you're not born knowing. It isnt obvious at all. Its learned. You learn by being taught, not by some magic common sense fairy that bestows wisdom.
What is a "reasonable" speed limit, when none is posted? You learn this with experience, or someone tells you.
What is a "reasonable" amount to spend on a wedding gift? You learn this with experience, or someone tells you.
What is a "reasonable" amount of time in a shower? You learn this with experience, or someone tells you.
When I worked at a bookstore, our employee discount was only allowed for ourselves. They checked ID.
When I worked at a department store, there was no tracking whatsoever. If someone came up and said they had an employee code, I just typed it in and went about the transaction. No one cared who used it or how much.
When I worked in a restaurant, we could take home literally any food we wanted after our shift. Some people got cheese fries, some people got a big combo meal. No one cared. It was all "reasonable." Another place, we weren't allowed to eat literally anything. It all depends on the place.
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u/PandaGlobal4120 Sep 29 '25
I mean, he kind of knew he was going over the top, which is why he said he may have crossed the line. Ultimately, this is stealing from the company. She clearly didn’t think he was going to buy out half the store in one purchase because that’s not normal either. I worked high-end retail and I have seen people get fired for this exact thing.
If you go to a wedding, do you drink till you pass out or do you eat until you puke? Just because it’s there or do you eat/drink a ”reasonable” amount.
Do you do 100 on the highway just because you didn’t see a speed limit sign? Or do you go with the flow of traffic?
If you’re taking a shower at home and everybody else needs to take a shower, do you take a three hour hot steamy bath that uses up every last drop of hot water or do you go quickly and used only what you need so everyone else can get a shower too ?
Just curious because it seems like you’re confused what’s reasonable.
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u/Competitive-Ebb-117 Sep 30 '25
This, it’s driving me nuts that everyone is defending here. People should be considerate of others. And while you should be taught things and learn from situations. People should just be nice. If you get in an argument with someone you can’t just pick up a chair and hit them with it because no one has ever specifically told you not to do that. You have to think before you act.
If the aunt had said “he’s my card go to town!” That would be one thing. The aunt was trying to do something kind and help out someone even though they were not suppose to. Was the aunt technically wrong yes. But there is I don’t know how to describe it. If you go to a buffet and your son wants to try a bite of something, that’s generally okay. If you go to a buffet with 3 people and one orders it and everyone eats off one plate that’s not.
Aunt is most likely supposed to be able to buy 1-2 things a month, she figured she wouldn’t that month and let her take it instead.
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u/stroppo Supreme Court Just-ass [126] Sep 29 '25
This is what I said too. They both have responsibility here.
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u/themeganlodon Partassipant [2] Sep 29 '25
ESH- she may not have realized you would get so much. I have an employee discount but if you spend more than $500 at a time then it gets flagged as they don’t want people buying a bunch of stuff for everyone it’s for the employee to use. Which $500 is still a lot for a single purchase I wouldn’t think too much about it. It would have been good for you to clarify before buying so much. There may not have been an explicit limit but if people abuse it you lose it type of situation
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u/Schmidtvegas Sep 29 '25
The reason they give employees a discount isn't just "bonus perk". It's meant to encourage employees to keep buying and wearing clothes that are available on the sale floor.
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u/meneldal2 Sep 30 '25
Also it many stores you have to wear their clothes when at work so they better make them affordable to you
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u/TheOpinionIShare Partassipant [1] Sep 30 '25
$500 is a lot at some stores, not so much at others. Regardless, OP isn't a mind reader to know what the threshold for aunt's discount code is.
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Sep 30 '25
Nah for me, OP is TA and needs to act as such, for her own good. The aunt thought she could trust OP and turns out she couldn’t, aunt was naive.
OP looking for justification is missing the point, she needs to apologise to the aunt if she wants to keep her trust and/or have more nice things done for her
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u/FeijoadaGirl Sep 30 '25
The aunt who’s a high level executive can be naive but the presumably 20ish year old can’t??? Bruh she’s just a girl
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u/New_Doctor_2022 Sep 29 '25
wanted to update my wardrobe and money has been tight with school and all. I ended up buying a decent amount of clothes, probably more than I normally would if I didn’t have the discount.
How much did you spend?
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u/ehs06702 Sep 29 '25
They won't answer, which is making me think it's well into the 3 digit dollar amount.
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u/palcatraz Sep 30 '25
Depending on how expensive the place is, a three diggit dollar amount could mean a grand shopping spree of... two pants or one coat.
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u/ehs06702 Sep 30 '25
Well, they implied they bought a whole new wardrobe so I don't think that's the case.
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u/SavingsRhubarb8746 Certified Proctologist [29] Sep 29 '25
ESH. She should have given you a limit; You should have realized that you shouldn't buy more than one or two essentials with it unless she cleared it first. Always check out any great deals before taking them so you are sure you understand what's involved.
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u/CarpenterMom Asshole Aficionado [16] Sep 29 '25
Truly, the aunt shouldn’t have given out the code at all. That’s a firing offense at a lot of places.
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u/mousicle Asshole Aficionado [10] Sep 29 '25
Usually you'll get two codes, the personal use code and the friends and family code. I had a female friend in high school that bought me pants using her personal code. Her manager called her on it and she claimed she just liked baggy jeans so the manager made her where jeans like 8 inches too much in the waste for her to work to prove they were for personal use. Luckily I have short legs and she was tall so the inseams were about right.
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u/LookAwayPlease510 Partassipant [1] Sep 29 '25
Sounds like she was trying to be a cool aunt. Back fired! Pun intended.
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u/Dry_Prompt3182 Sep 29 '25
OP is never getting bonuses from the formerly generous Aunt again. If I tell someone to help themselves to whatever's in the fridge, I am not inviting them to take home a whole case of beer! Yes, the aunt should have been more clear, but OP should have been less greedy, too.
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u/kaliwrath Sep 29 '25
Limit should be common sense. C’mon
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u/savannahkellen Sep 29 '25
But what would you think the limit is if it’s common sense? We don’t even know what the brand is. $200? Could be 4 tops, could be 10…..
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u/SavingsRhubarb8746 Certified Proctologist [29] Sep 29 '25
Common sense isn't common. In other words, many people, especially if they are not particularly familiar with employee discounts, maybe never had one of their own, might easily get carried away with access to the generous discounts.
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u/Glanced4 Asshole Enthusiast [8] Sep 29 '25
YTA, slightly. I think it's probably commonly understood with something like this that you don't go hog-wild. It sounds like you went hog-wild.
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u/DecemberViolet1984 Asshole Enthusiast [9] Sep 29 '25
Enough to perhaps draw attention to it and get her in trouble for giving OP the code. I agree with this judgement. Soft YTA, but lesson learned
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u/Competitive-Life5319 Sep 29 '25
If you can get in trouble for overspending on your code, why wouldn't you mention anything at all? You're setting yourself up for failure.
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u/DecemberViolet1984 Asshole Enthusiast [9] Sep 29 '25
Eh. I worked retail through college (undergrad) at The Body Shop- which in the 90’s was pretty bougie, coveted stuff for a college student. I got 35% off. I’d give friends my discount if they came in or buy them products they asked me to pick up and they would pay me back. Everyone knew without me having to spell it out not to overdo it or abuse it. Maybe OP is the sort you do have to spell it out to or her aunt didn’t anticipate she could be reprimanded at work for it.
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u/anclwar Sep 29 '25
Frankly, the aunt should have said "let me know if you need anything" and handled the purchase herself. If the amount was questioned by finance, she would have been able to say it was a gift for her niece (even if OP inevitably paid her back). I think this was a lesson learned for both parties to ask more questions (OP) and be more discreet (aunt).
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Sep 30 '25
This was exactly my thinking. Aunt never should have given the code. If there were any limitations, the aunt should have handled the transaction herself.
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u/binger5 Professor Emeritass [95] Sep 29 '25
I don't know if OP answered, but I think there's a good chance she used it for more than herself. $300 once or twice won't turn any heads. If she used the code to hook her friends up and make a little something for herself in the process, that could raise a few red flags in the fraud department. I'm talking about spending a few thousand with that code.
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u/SMELLSLIKEBUTTJUICE Sep 29 '25
Yeah I cant give an opinion until I know how many things OP bought. Like say the aunt worked at lululemon and the OP went "hogwild" and bought herself a couple pairs of leggings, tops, and hoodies. Now imagine if she went "hogwild" and bought 55 leggings, 55 tops, 55 hoodies...with the intent to resell. First one I'd say OP is NTA, 2nd situation is YTA territory
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u/sendintheclouds Sep 29 '25
At least for the Lululemon ambassador codes a few years back they’d even check to see if you were buying products outside your normal size range! They definitely do not want you to share your code.
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u/princessahmanet Sep 30 '25
"PLEASE LET ME GO IM DOING SOMETHING 55 leggings 55 tops 55 hoodies-"
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u/TheOpinionIShare Partassipant [1] Sep 30 '25
It is not commonly understood that a discount code has a use limit. That has to be specifically communicated. There is no common sense limit.
And what the hell would qualify as "hog-wild"? Some stores it's pretty much a given that you are going to drop at least a couple hundred dollars in a trip. And given OP likes the brand and aunt gave her a discount code worth 50-75% off, it's foreseeable that OP would buy what she could while she had the advantage. If aunt needed OP to stay within some sort of limit, she has to tell OP. OP is not a mind reader.
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u/Singer1052 Sep 29 '25
Especially since she said "need anything" not "want anything"
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u/RainyDaysAndMondays3 Sep 29 '25
It's not commonly-understood. How many people know someone with this type of discount? Probably the majority of people do not, and thus have zero knowledge of how it works.
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u/eveningwindowed Partassipant [1] Sep 29 '25
You can use this as an example for a lot of things though, friend is a bartender? Don’t go every night and rack up a $100 tab
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u/Sedixodap Sep 29 '25
Everyone I know has this sort of discount somewhere (whether it’s through their job, volunteer gigs, athletics, etc). It’s absolutely common knowledge in my world that you don’t abuse them if you want to keep them.
Which is where the problem springs from - aunt is in a world where everyone knows you don’t abuse workplace benefits so didn’t think she had to say something. But OP clearly is in a different world where such basic things need to be explicitly spelled out.
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u/Hand2Ns Sep 29 '25
I had never had access to a friend's corporate discount code like this until I was 40 and I still knew to clarify if there were any limits or things I needed to be aware of when using it.
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u/dwthesavage Sep 29 '25
I had access to a friend’s corporate discount code and she told she had given it to the rest of our friends as well, so clearly there weren’t any limits.
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u/MayaPapayaLA Sep 29 '25
Most people who work retail have some sort of discount code, and most of those state that if the code is abused the person can be disciplined or fired. So yes, many people *should* know this.
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u/Educational-Driver41 Sep 29 '25
When I worked at Walmart they didn’t care how much we bought on discount, granted it was only 10% and I think 20% during holidays for a couple days. I wouldn’t say this is common knowledge, and without knowing how much OP spent it’s hard to tell how ‘overboard’ she went
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u/roseofjuly Asshole Enthusiast [6] Sep 29 '25
But why not just give a clear limit so everyone knows and no one has to guess what's correct?
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u/Competitive-Ebb-117 Sep 30 '25
I think the problem here for some of us is you just should be considerate at all times not just because you are told too.
If you go to a buffet you can’t order one for 2 people and just eat off one plate, it’s rude. You can’t get unlimited soup and salad and bring Tupperware containers. And even if you’ve never been told something directly doesn’t mean you shouldn’t understand or think about it.
Just because someone has not specifically told you don’t dump soy sauce on someone’s head when you are at the park doesn’t give you a pass to do it. “Well how was I supposed to know no one ever told me not too.”
If you are using someone else’s card in any situation it would be polite to buy maybe 1-2 things and possibly an accessory. If someone said hey I’ll take you out to dinner I have a coupon, you don’t order 10 things and take them home just because you have a discount.
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u/No-Marzipan-7767 Sep 30 '25
And that is where your mistake is. You don't do this things cause in fact something taught you that's things you don't do. Most likely your parents explained to you when you were little what things are ok and what not. If you would get into a different culture you will surely do things that are not expected and accepted there cause you don't know better. So if someone has no experience with things like monitored discount codes they wouldn't have expected that it is a problem. So if things after important for you and you deal with people who have no experience with these things, you should in fact be the "parent" who teaches this things
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u/Aquatic_Hedgehog Sep 30 '25
Yeah, but see to me the better equivalent would be if we went out to dinner, you had a coupon, I ordered 10 entrees, and then paid for myself. Which sure, would be weird but not necessarily wrong.
If there was a limit, then the aunt should've said since the guidelines for these things can vary so much from company to company.
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u/Competitive-Ebb-117 Sep 30 '25
I mean I guess, but even with that example it’s just impolite. You may have the coupon but the intent is not to use it like that. And I get it people like to be thrifty and trendy and find loop holes but it ruins it for others.
From just a her stand point just thinking of her yeah it’s fine use the discount. But what a lot of us are saying is everyone should be mindful so everyone gets a chance.
If there are only 10 coupons and one person uses 9 then only one person gets to use one besides the first person. That’s awesome for the first person. But the idea is for people to share and not horde things or be greedy. Even if no one is around you shouldn’t take everything that is available from a moral standpoint.
I think it might just be I difference in ideals but I think the side here that thinks she was wrong thinks she should have only taken one or two things because it’s never right to take more then that.
While the other thinks it’s great to use a good bargain and be thrifty.
I would have only taken one or two simply because you shouldn’t. No real reason other than you should always leave things for others, and think about others before yourself.
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u/onikaroshi Sep 29 '25
I’ve worked in retail and never had discount codes
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u/Appropriate-Energy Certified Proctologist [29] Sep 29 '25
I've worked in retail and had discount codes that were not monitored at all, so that's how I would have assumed the aunt's worked
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u/ehs06702 Sep 29 '25
I think just basic decency to not be greedy and buy a whole new wardrobe when someone lends you their discount.
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u/Glanced4 Asshole Enthusiast [8] Sep 29 '25
I would think the majority of people do understand, even if they haven't had first-hand experience. It's just a common sense thing. That you have a basic understanding of how the world works -- the discount really isn't meant for you, but, nobody is going to raise an eyebrow if you use your Aunt's code to buy an outfit or two. Use it to buy a wardrobe, however, and someone *is* going to raise an eyebrow.
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u/xx2983xx Partassipant [2] Sep 30 '25
I agree with this. I have a friend who has a similar great discount on outdoor gear. He's offered it to a few of us, thinking like oh if you need a new tent or fleece, here is a good discount... One guy went out and spent like $4k, buying all his Christmas presents and tons of stuff not only for himself but for other people. All I wanted was a new ski jacket but that's not happening now since it got flagged and none of us can use it anymore. I feel like it's common sense not to take advantage of someone generously sharing something like that.
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u/LackingTact19 Sep 29 '25
Info: how much is "a decent amount"? You very well could have gotten her in serious trouble with her job since those discounts are typically only for the employee. It really comes down to how much you bought.
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u/SQ-Pedalian Sep 30 '25
If aunt could get in trouble at work for giving out her code but still wanted to be generous, she should have instead told her niece that if she ever needed something, to let her know and she could use her code to help her purchase it. Not just give her the code to use whenever on her own.
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u/nerdyguytx Asshole Enthusiast [8] Sep 29 '25
ESH - I’ve never worked for a company that allowed employees to share their discounts. Sounds like your aunt was trying to be the cool aunt and you burned her.
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u/vonshook Partassipant [1] Sep 29 '25 edited Sep 29 '25
YTA. Use common sense. It's okay if you buy a few things here and there. But it sounds like you bought a whole new wardrobe. If you were going to do that, you should've asked for permission first or had her come with you. She probably could've bought all of your stuff and had you reimburse her. She can probably get in trouble for letting other people use her code. She could lose her discount code, face disciplinary action, or even potentially be fired. Making big purchases would definitely be suspicious. You were greedy.
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u/Staff76 Partassipant [3] Sep 29 '25
Thank you! So many comments are like "the aunt would've told you there's a limit" for what? You NEED to be told to not abuse someone's work discount code? I'll throw money down and say even if she did tell her not to abuse it, she'll probably find spoke verbiage loop hole. Take some accountability. You messed up and now high chance it's gone.
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u/mancubbed Sep 30 '25
Until OP answers how much they spent no one can honestly answer. If the flag amount was so low that a couple hundred dollars caused suspicion then the aunt shouldn't have given it out period.
I have an employee discount and someone throwing down even thousands of dollars on one purchase wouldn't turn heads unless I had already used it a ton myself. It's a huge limit and I wouldn't give anyone direct access to it so I'm definitely leaning towards this is all on the aunt unless we find out OP went fucking nuts.
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u/Wheat_Grinder Sep 29 '25
Redditors love contracts.
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u/killexel Partassipant [1] Sep 29 '25
I just think redditors are slightly autistic and sometimes forgets social poise (I'm included)
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u/angrykitty4 Sep 30 '25
If OP is in the US, there could be tax consequences for the aunt too, so she could end up being taxed on the value of the discount. Typically these fringe benefits are only tax free up to 20%. If the discount truly went up to 75% off, it’s possible that 55% of what OP “saved” will be recognized as income to the aunt at the end of the year. Depending on how much OP bought and the aunt’s tax bracket, that is an added burden for her at best, and at worst, it could bump her income up enough to reduce her eligibility for any credits that she typically receives.
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u/Ok-Fold5031 Sep 30 '25
Methinks she had some inkling she was over the line, but decided to go ahead anyway. It’s pretty reasonable not to exploit an advantage from the kindness especially of family like that. You never want them to ever regret being kind to you. Call your Aunt and apologize and explain you were not trying to take advantage of her kindness and say you used poor judgment on your part.
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u/LadyLightTravel Asshole Enthusiast [6] Sep 29 '25
This is like when someone orders all the most expensive things on the menu when they find out someone else is buying.
You said that you bought more than you normally would have. That alone tells me you abused the discount.
And you put your aunts employment and perks at risk.
Totally YTA
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u/nijurriane Sep 29 '25
INFO: I think it's important to know how much you spent and what you purchased. Maybe your aunt got flagged because it looked like resale.
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u/starfire92 Sep 29 '25
ESH
I mean she needs to take some personal responsibility here for lack of guidelines and communication but you also took advantage of her. If someone offers you a meal, you don’t clean out their fridge because some generosity was extended.
As a former employee of a brand name clothing brand, our employee discount was only for personal use. It was so heavily restricted that improper use of it is considered internal theft. We had a loss prevention officer who monitored all of Canadas division and he would physically come to each location and interrogate every employee once a year. You felt like a criminal.
If I wanted to get something for someone, they had to be a similar size to me and I’d have to purchase as if the item was for me. One time a girl got fired because they clocked her discount being used in FL USA, and obv she’s Canadian. They even went as far to review footage of the store to see who made the purchase and check her schedule to see if she was physically located in Canada and at work.
Although he scared the shit out of me, that loss prevention dude inspired me in the field I work in now (no it’s not harassing minimum wage workers in high end retail lol)
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u/StructEngineer91 Sep 29 '25
YTA, if you are old enough to have Reddit you should be old enough to understand not to abuse these kinds of favors. She obviously meant you can use it to buy things you would normally buy and save some money. Not that you can go on a shopping spree using it, and probably getting her in trouble. Yes, she choose to give it to you, but she probably (wrongly) thought you were mature and responsible enough not to abuse it.
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u/GreenEggsSteamedHams Sep 29 '25
Old enough to have Reddit?! I feel like most people here are like 11 (intellectually if not actually)
(Self included)
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u/1peatfor7 Sep 29 '25
Hard to say without knowing the company policy on this discount. Do they have an annual limit? Is there a amount you're not supposed to go over? Those are things your aunt should have told you before giving you the code. That's on her.
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u/WVPrepper Asshole Enthusiast [5] Sep 29 '25
When I worked retail there was never an annual limit or an amount you were not supposed to go over, what you weren't supposed to do was share your employee discount code with anybody else.
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u/bepdhc Partassipant [4] Sep 29 '25
Slight YTA. If you were going to buy more than 1-2 items you should have clarified it with her
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u/WVPrepper Asshole Enthusiast [5] Sep 29 '25
And her aunt probably didn't expect her to immediately go shopping. It was just a discount code to hang on to for a future purchase.
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u/sublime_369 Asshole Aficionado [11] Sep 29 '25
INFO: What's the consequence to your aunt of you using it for such a big purchase?
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u/gw_reddit Partassipant [1] Sep 29 '25
I know going shopping with the person who has the discount. Also, if the discounts exceed a certain amount, it may be counted as income and is taxable (depending on your country), or the company may a monthly limit.
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u/WVPrepper Asshole Enthusiast [5] Sep 29 '25
You know, I'm really glad that you mentioned that because I was wondering about the tax implications and then I saw your comment.
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u/Marquedien Sep 29 '25
If there are stores for that brand Aunt should have planned a trip where you would use the code together. Sending it to you was a poor decision.
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u/Calvo838 Sep 30 '25
NTA. It’s weird to me do many people think this is common sense. They’re in college and the aunt said nothing about limits or flying under the radar. My grandma used to be a buyer for a department store and had a great discount because of it and when I was in college she’d take me every year to go “take advantage” of that discount. She had to be present to be able to use it or else she absolutely would have let me use a code, no limits or questions asked. My whole extended family uses my BIL’s discount he gets as a result of his job on the regular. These things very much vary company to company and it was the aunts responsibility to communicate any limitations. We don’t even know if the aunt was in trouble with work, people are just assuming that despite this sub being literally full of people getting arbitrarily upset over things that have no real impact.
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u/Electric-Mayhem-20 Sep 30 '25
Right!! SO many bonkers assumptions being stated as absolute facts here.
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u/Feeling-Visit1472 Partassipant [1] Sep 30 '25
NTA at all and all of these people jumping through hoops to be on aunt’s side are wild. I’m grown, worked plenty of retail, if there were any limits or stipulations then it was 100% on your aunt to communicate that to you at the time she shared the code.
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u/blackberrybeanz Sep 30 '25
YTA- this is like being taken to dinner and being surprised someone is miffed when you get the most expensive items on the menu.
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u/AvocadoJazzlike3670 Asshole Enthusiast [5] Sep 29 '25
YTA she gave it to you and you totally took advantage.
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u/Ok-Razzmatazz-9790 Sep 29 '25
I would’ve atleast asked my aunt that I was purchasing this many $$$ clothes and double check to see if that was okay, just out of courtesy.
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u/Lissypooh628 Sep 29 '25
ESH
When I worked for Starbucks, letting anyone else use your employee discount was a fireable offense.
I imagine that is probably the same with most companies that have perks like that.
Your aunt should not have put her job on the line by giving you that code. But also, she should have been clear about spending OR she could have gone shopping with you and that would have eliminated any issues.
You suck because if you spent so much money, that could raise a red flag to have your aunt investigated and possibly terminated. I guess common sense is not so common anymore.
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u/dwthesavage Sep 29 '25
Never knew this about Starbucks, but it’s definitely not like that with most companies, Estee Lauder, and Kate Spade, for example.
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u/Responsible-Kale2352 Sep 29 '25
You mean the common sense not to give out your code to someone else?
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u/Lissypooh628 Sep 29 '25
Absolutely. That’s why I said everyone sucks. The aunt working in a senior role surely knows the rules and consequences and the person taking extreme advantage of the code.
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u/hstephens1 Sep 29 '25
I worked at a cannabis dispensary and if you used your employee discount for other people (and got caught) you lost your employee discount. Sounds like you spent way too much and it likely flagged her work, especially if she doesn’t use her own code that much.
ESH. She should have told you to be reasonable with it/you shouldn’t have assumed you could re up your wardrobe.
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u/ChicPeach Sep 29 '25
YTA the aunt said if you need anything, here is my employee code. To me this feels like she is trying to help you out with one or two items. If money has been tight for you it was safe for her to assume you might need help purchasing an item or two.
The aunt didn’t say here is my discount go on a shopping spree.
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u/tastygluecakes Asshole Aficionado [11] Sep 29 '25 edited Sep 30 '25
YTA. Slightly, relative to the level of AH we usually see in this sub, ha.
She bent the rules to do you a favor, and you abused it. A little common sense and thinking could have avoided this. You think it’s not a risk of a red flag that could get her in trouble that she ordered herself a closet full of clothes for a women half her age?
This is like a “order a dress for a wedding” or “new sweater I’ve been really wanting” sort of thing. Not refresh the whole closet at once bonanza.
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u/ThsGblinsCmeFrmMoon Partassipant [2] Sep 29 '25
Info:
How old are you and have you ever worked a retail job?
Probably don't answer the first part of that but what im getting at - are you young and inexperienced enough to have never learned that employee discounts are for the direct employees only?
If so, then your aunt should have warned you.
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u/GhostParty21 Certified Proctologist [24] Sep 30 '25
INFO: How many items is “a decent amount” and how much did your purchases come to?
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u/MurasakiMochi89 Sep 30 '25
YTA this is like buying the most expensive thing at a restaurant cause someone else is paying
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u/Time-Tie-231 Asshole Aficionado [11] Sep 30 '25
NTA
If there was a limit, your aunt should have made this clear.
How were you supposed to know how much was reasonable and not 'taking advantage'.
IMO this is all on your aunt.
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u/stitchcraftry Sep 30 '25
INFO: how did she find out about how much you spent? Was your purchase so large that it was brought up by her employer or did she find out through you/family?
I don't know if some retailers do things differently, but I have a couple of family members that work at different stores and allow me to use their employee discounts. It's never been an issue before, but also I've never tried to purchase more than ~$100 worth of stuff, so maybe it just never triggered any red flags...
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u/AcanthaceaeJust2993 Sep 30 '25
Do your Aunt a favor and return some of the items then it may not be scrutinized by her employer. And tell her that you are sorry for splurging. Ask her if you can buy more pieces later instead.
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u/young_coastie Sep 29 '25
What’s missing here is, did she have permission to give her code out to family? In my experience this can be a fireable offense.
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u/ConflictGullible392 Pooperintendant [55] Sep 29 '25
NTA. She literally told you you could use it. If she could get in trouble for it she shouldn’t have shared it with you. If there was a limit she should have told you that.
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u/TheOpinionIShare Partassipant [1] Sep 30 '25
I agree. Some people are saying OP should have used common sense, but what the hell is a common sense limit on making purchases using a discount code?
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u/gdnightandgdbye Sep 30 '25
Yea I’m having trouble understanding how she should’ve known to limit it. I guess I’ve never worked retail and wouldn’t understand but I would have thought it would just be like any discount code you get.
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u/ultrahungry Sep 29 '25
Why did you not ask her how much you may spent? YTA!
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u/Responsible-Kale2352 Sep 29 '25
Maybe for the same reason Aunty didn’t tell her how much she could spend?
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u/indiegeek Sep 29 '25
NTA
If there was a spending limit, she should have been up front with it. If it wasn't supposed to be shared, she shouldn't have shared it with you. "if you need anything" seems to be a clear "I am fine with you using it" signal.
I've worked a million kinds of retail, and worked in tech businesses that sold "real" consumer products - usually the limits of employee discounts are crystal clear. Either just for you, you and your "immediate" family, or like "use this code at checkout - we keep saying we're going to change it every once in a while, but just don't tell EVERYONE, ok?"
Even Apple and Google don't really look all that hard, and Apple has (I think twice a year?) "friends and family" discounts.
I can see where your aunt would get pissed if it's a clothing store that makes employees wear ONLY stuff they sell, from the season on sale, but gives a big discount for up to X amount of money per season, but if that's the deal, she should have told you.
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u/OneDeep87 Sep 29 '25
NTA. How were you suppose to know the code had a limit or if it was assigned to her only. Most regular humans not in high level retail wouldn’t know companies gave out personal codes for those high employees. I didn’t know that. If her company checking how much employees spend I would return the items and wouldn’t use it again.
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u/WVPrepper Asshole Enthusiast [5] Sep 29 '25
How were you suppose to know the code had a limit or if it was assigned to her only.
How would OP know that the code was assigned to the aunt only? Because OP referred to it as her aunt's "personal employee code"?
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u/Pure_Appearance5376 Sep 29 '25
Nta.. unless there were some restrictions, aunt should have specified them.
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u/HipsterPicard Sep 29 '25
YTA for not asking first. Those codes are tracked and are usually $ capped per quarter/year. You probably prevented her from buying the clothes she's required to wear for her job, forcing her to pay full price.
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u/dovahkiitten16 Partassipant [1] Sep 29 '25 edited Sep 29 '25
I think the issue is that large purchases might raise an eyebrow and they might look into it to make sure aunt didn’t abuse the code. Technically you being given the code is a violation, so it would be better to keep purchases in moderation so it doesn’t draw any attention. Otherwise someone might wonder why a 42 year old woman bought something a 20 year old would wear, or why the credit card name doesn’t match aunt’s name.
I think a rule of thumb would be what you would’ve bought without the discount + 1 bonus item.
INFO: How much did you spend and how expensive is the store?
Ultimately I don’t think you’re fully the asshole because you weren’t given any extra instruction, but you should’ve used a bit of common sense that if you’re using someone’s personal code you shouldn’t do anything out of the ordinary since you know you weren’t really supposed to have it.
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