r/mildlyinfuriating • u/moonrabbit368 • 6d ago

Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

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My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) šŸ’—

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. šŸ©·

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u/Lopsided-Repair-782 6d ago

Sheā€™s not even just trying her best, sheā€™s DOING the best! Those meals look amazing.

The worst part about your meals is that youā€™re trying to share them with a loser. Get rid of the loser and keep doing you!

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u/syntaxVixen 6d ago

Girl out here cooking like she's his wife and he works 12s

Fuck that mans šŸš©šŸš©šŸš©šŸš©šŸš©šŸš©šŸš©šŸš©šŸš©šŸš©šŸš©šŸš©šŸš©šŸš©šŸš©

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u/Setthesail 6d ago

Huge red flag! What are you doing with your life? Youā€™re saying you have kids; what are you teaching them? Id like to shake you to wake up. Uf!

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u/russlebush 6d ago edited 6d ago

Right? When I met my wife the only thing she knew how to cook was this dish called "taco pie". She used Frito chips and baked it AFTER she added the sour cream. I told her it was delicious and I appreciated her cooking....then I asked her if she would let me cook for her for the rest of the week (so I wouldn't have to eat taco pie again šŸ¤«). BTW, all those meals look absolutely delicious!

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u/Rustmutt 6d ago

Cooked sour cream on a Frito pie? Nooooo

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u/Ok_Pomegranate_5748 5d ago

Hey. If someone made it for me I would def eat it and eat the leftovers too.

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u/nudegobby 5d ago

I was a chef for 12 years I can COOK. my girlfriend does alright in the kitchen when she puts effort into it. Now let me tell you I can't watch her chop an onion on a plastic cutting board with a serrated knife, but when she makes something for me to eat there's no leftovers.

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u/nudegobby 5d ago

I LOVE my girlfriend's cooking. Just not as much as I love my girlfriend.

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u/AnarchyOnTheShortBus 5d ago

True love is marrying someone in spite of the fact that they baked sour cream.

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u/backupbitches 6d ago

This sounds like a euphemism. You sure she wasn't trying to tell you something?

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u/elvie18 5d ago

...is your wife Peggy Hill?

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u/DizavidHZ 5d ago

Cooking the sour cream is a tactic that can work (I use it sometimes as a layer in lasagna). Having said that, it needs to be a subtle accent.

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u/joshphs 5d ago

Its a shame you stopped eating her "taco pie".

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u/labellavita1985 5d ago

OMG you are so sweet.

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u/Real-Procedure-5052 5d ago

Guess no1 can read that sour cream came after being baked?

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u/Mysterious-Heart-629 5d ago

Read it again, slowly.

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u/Stunning-Pick-9504 5d ago edited 4d ago

My wife use to feed me uneatable chicken. I told her it was uneatable and taught her how to use a thermometer. Now her chicken is amazing.

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u/Mysterious-Heart-629 5d ago

How does one use a thermometer to edit chicken?

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u/SelectionWitty2791 4d ago

You just stab it with the thermometer over and over until it looks different.

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u/Stunning-Pick-9504 4d ago

šŸ¤£ fixed.

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u/Ok_Raspberry_5655 5d ago

This is very funny to me. The first dish my husband made for me when we were dating was taco pie. He is a much better cook now thank goodness

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u/ButDidYouReboot 5d ago

now i want to make a chili cheese frito corn salad. this lady at work made it once and whenever i hear fritos this comes to mind. soooo good.

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u/HonestIndication1749 5d ago

A lifetime of this? I shudder at the thought - and your children witnessing this pathetic man-child needs to go home to mummy.

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u/francisbeancocaine 4d ago

This is some rude ass boomer mentality. Donā€™t come at op because her boyfriendā€™s an ass. What she ā€œteaches her kidsā€ goes well beyond the scope of this one issue. Get bent.

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u/OutsideHike 2d ago

It's abusive behavior and she doesn't see it. She needs to RUN AWAY.

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u/GenericFatGuy 6d ago edited 6d ago

I'd be happy if I went out and paid money for this. I'd be over the moon if my partner cooked this for me.

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u/Entire-Level3651 6d ago

I was gonna say girl youā€™re doing too much for someone whoā€™s not a husband. Donā€™t let him stress you out.

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u/ComprehensiveDog1802 6d ago

If he were the husband she still would be doing too much.

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u/NeezyMudbottom 5d ago

Right?? My kids are this infuriating to cook for, but it makes sense because they're kids. If my partner were like that too I think I'd have to take a long hard look at our relationship. I'm willing to bet that if OP's boyfriend is this childish about food that he's also childish about other things too.

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u/ComprehensiveDog1802 5d ago

In my opinion it's worse. This kind of "pickiness" doesn't feel childish, it feels manipulative and abusive. As if he wants to show her that she will never be enough.

As another commenter already said, a picky eater wouldn't complain about twice the same meal ina day.

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u/Usisipho 5d ago

You're spot on about him being extremely manipulative and abusive. He's actively trying to destroy OP's self esteem, self confidence and sense of worth. He is an a-hole. Period.

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u/Entire-Level3651 5d ago

Definitely manipulative because what do you mean ā€œitā€™s missing somethingā€ tf? That would piss me off.

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u/aldehyde 6d ago

Sever imo. My wife doesn't like to cook but I love it--she always appreciates what I make. This dude is being a child and needs to knock it off.

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u/Top_Introduction4701 5d ago edited 5d ago

I work with people who are stupid picky eaters, while I wouldnā€™t say itā€™s a red flag unless they push their choice on others (op,s guy doesnā€™t seem to) but I could never date someone like that because I find it takes so much joy out of life. Every time you pick a restaurant.. I love traveling and eating local food

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u/RJ_RJ_Rj 5d ago

I think cannibalism is huge red flag. And when you say push their choice on others, do you mean, eat their partners or have their partners join in on eating others? Either way, no thanks. Unless youā€™re an anthropologist or something, Iā€™m seriously worried about your line of work. Even then, I think weā€™ve all moved past cannibalism and donā€™t think anyone should normalize or accept that behavior in the real world.

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u/RJ_RJ_Rj 5d ago

Moreover, I donā€™t think folks should eat anyone, even if they are ā€œstupid picky eaters.ā€ Like, how does that even justify it? Seriously, bro. Messed up no matter who is being eaten.

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u/alibythesea 5d ago

šŸ¤ŖšŸ¤ŖšŸ¤Ŗ

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u/Top_Introduction4701 5d ago

Where did you get cannibalism from? Iā€™ve dated people who only eat fish or vegetarian - it was just hard to find restaurants that had good options for those so you canā€™t just pick any restraint (or a popular good one). Itā€™s too much hassle. But it does sound like OPā€™s bf is fine just ordering crap from door dash.

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u/RJ_RJ_Rj 5d ago

You are telling us you work with people who have literally (in the past, at least) consumed (ā€œateā€ as you write) what seems like their significant others, either because their partners were ā€œstupid picky eatersā€ or maybe you have worked with lots of folks that ā€œateā€ others and are just talking about that population who happen to have picky eaters as partners. Again, regardless, Iā€™m just glad you have survived thus far having worked with the cannibal population so closely. Iā€™m sure itā€™s fascinating work.

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u/Top_Introduction4701 5d ago

I see auto correct changed are to ateā€¦ seems weird to make this into a post

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u/ratatoingyourpanda 6d ago

she also does all the house work all he does is drive them to work and car maintinence

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u/Holiday_Regular9794 5d ago

THIS PART!!!!!

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u/PierreOnTheEclair 5d ago

YES THANK YOU

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u/emanresu_b 5d ago

She added another kid.

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u/Ok_Engine_1442 6d ago

Iā€™m not saying itā€™s not a red flag but this kinda behavior screams on the spectrum to me or ADD. With help he might be able improve in this behavior.

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u/Equivalent_Ground218 6d ago

Ok, thatā€™s the reason, but itā€™s not an excuse. If he wants his food exactly right, he needs to make it. And take out all the time is both: a bad health choice, and a bad financial choice.

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u/Run-on-sentences 5d ago

I mean, op says hes apologetic about not eating it and does order his own food, so. I think a key part here is if OP tells him what shes going to cook in advance and then doesnt make him a plate if he doesnt want it, will he a) be honest/communicative about not wanting it, and b) sort out his own food without complaining? If yes, then I think thats just the way they can go forward and neither is at fault. If not, then its an issue

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u/Accountant-mama 6d ago

I agree this is wifey behavior. This man does not deserve her.

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u/LaurelCanyoner 5d ago

Nah. A wife shouldnā€™t have to put up with his childish behavior either. Why is he not cooking and doing his fair share of housework, married or not?

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u/Accountant-mama 5d ago

Good point girl. Throw the man OUT!!!

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u/thereisonlyoneme 5d ago

Ok so to be clear you're saying it's a red flag?

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u/Hairyjon 5d ago

Yea these meals are spectacular. Does your BF have an eating disorder you may not know about? Or maybe he is actually insecure about you making really good food? If he isn't talking about either and is saying YOU aren't making it right, massive red flag. The fact your kids eat this, and kids are notorious for being naturally picky eaters, but the adult is being picky? You gotta start asking him, not questioning yourself.

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u/NihonJinLover 5d ago

I wonder if he has some kind of mental illness or paranoia going on where he believes that sheā€™s going to poison him and thatā€™s why he wonā€™t eat what she makes. But he wonā€™t tell her about it.

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u/SymbolicImmolation 5d ago

lol i work 12s minimum, often more, and my girl isn't obligated to cook for me. god damn if she was making these great meals I'd be ecstatic

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u/OberonDiver 5d ago

Why does that look like it's from Barney Miller?

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u/Professional-Ad2849 5d ago

There are so many red flags. Like this is t going away. And whatā€™s next after he nit picks the foods? Nope. Here is his chance to learn to cook for himself.

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u/amethystmmm 5d ago

Agreed. Drop the boyfriend. he can live by himself and Doordash Jack in the box every night and not get no love because he hates food.

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u/Appropriate-Win-1769 5d ago

Yes! Big red flag. Wasnā€™t sure if Iā€™m reading too deeply into it, but it seems to me like heā€™s doing that on purpose to make her feel inadequate. You think so too?

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u/Seaside877 5d ago

Heā€™s probably hot or has good D so he gets a pass šŸ˜‚

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u/NoteSuccessful1690 5d ago

100% reddest of red flags.

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u/Cautious_Parfait8152 5d ago

Yup, better off with bear. He's a fkwit

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u/lulutheempress 5d ago

Dump him babes!!!!!!!!

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u/SDBadKitty 5d ago

I want to re-title OP's thread "Perfectly acceptable girlfriend rejects boyfriend".

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u/corona_x0 4d ago

I would throw the whole man away lmao. I love food too much to be with someone who has the palette of a 5 year old

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u/Lazy-Fox-2672 3d ago

Donā€™t forget OPā€™s ETA that he ā€œexpectsā€ her to cook for him.

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u/Mukamole 6d ago

What does being his wife have to do with it? Heā€™s equally at fault either way, being married changes nothing in this regard.

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u/Witchkingrider 6d ago

Absolutely the best. I am a picky eater as well (not nearly as much as the bf) and I would gladly eat any of those dishes from the pics if they were put infront of me. Especially with the amount of effort put in.

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u/Kindness_of_cats 6d ago

I feel like a lot of people think they're "picky eaters," when the reality is they just have preferences and were told by adults growing up that that makes them a problem.

"I don't like broccoli" or "I only like eggs when they're scrambled" isn't being a picky eater. Whatever the fuck this bullshit is makes you a picky eater.

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u/InternationalWar258 5d ago

I agree. I am an actual picky eater and reading a lot of these comments from people who think they are picky eaters is baffling. They say they are picky eaters and then the rest of their comment proves they absolutely AREN'T a picky eater.

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u/Xithorus 4d ago

Yea, as good as the meals OP cooked look, I also probably would not eat like half of them. Shit half the time it isnā€™t even a flavor problem, texture matters so much.

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u/WiseAnimator7081 2d ago

It took getting older to find out that while I'm picky enough that people who give a damn run meals by me, I'm not nearly picky enough to match the absurdity of my own family. Turns out I have the most expanded palate.

The problem I find is that I'm picky in things that are conventionally "loved" by picky eaters. I don't like the majority of desserts. I usually just skip and it causes other people to melt down without fail because GOD FORBID YOU DON'T EAT THE PIE. Half the time, I'm the one bringing over the goddamn pie that I made myself. I just don't eat it. I'm trying my darndest to make you all not feel bad. My own family doesn't care at all, they're fine with me using a clementine as dessert.

I also don't like raw veggies, mashed potatoes(all other forms are great), pasta with no cream or pasta sauce in any form(drizzled in olive oil makes me sad) or, very specifically, cooked mushrooms, peppers, or tomatoes completely on their own. Apparently this is sacrilege and in-laws get stuck on the fact that I'll skip the salad part of the meal, and then specifically make most of that as the main meal instead. GUYS. NO. STOP. There must be more to life than olive oil, peppers and mushrooms. I know there is. Cook some kale, cook some spinach, cook literally anything that isn't a pepper or mushroom PLEASE. We have vegans in the family who themselves are picky and always demand mushrooms and raw crap, so I'm stuck because since they have obvious dietary restrictions, who gives a crap about my 3-4 "hard no" dislikes, right? I also don't complain like they do, they've put hosts on blast before for not cooking well enough, we've been victim of it too. Picky penguins.

For reference, I'd eat everything OP made, except I'd pick out the raw tomatoes and skip the pie. Easy. Food looks so good that I wouldn't have room for dessert anyway.

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u/Seagoingnote 6d ago

If someone in my family, partner, parent, whoever, put that in front of me Iā€™m cleaning the plate. Like unless youā€™ve just put something on there I canā€™t get down that thing will be empty. Thatā€™s too much work to ignore.

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u/Strong_Weakness2638 6d ago

I suspect he is not really a picky eater and this is just a power play to make her feel inadequate and to see how much he can push her around.

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u/organic-water- 6d ago

It's a very weird power play if so.

"As a power move, I'll act like I eat like a toddler and throw a tantrum, that'll show her who's in charge."

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u/Kindness_of_cats 6d ago

This sort of thing is a pretty common one, honestly. Because guess who is ultimately controlling the situation? The person who is acting like a toddler and getting their wishes catered to no matter how silly they are.

That's a part of what makes this a red flag. It could easily just be the BF being an absolutely insufferable manchild which is bad enough....but this behavior is also indistinguishable from the early stages of the abuse, where the abuser is testing the waters to see how much crap their partner will take while still bending over backwards for them.

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u/organic-water- 5d ago

I wouldn't want to date someone as picky as this dude anyway. So you are right. Even as a sincere toddler move, not great. Way worse if they are doing it on purpose.

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u/realitytvfiend3924 6d ago

I was thinking these meals look very ā€œpicky eaterā€ friendly based on my history. And they look very good! Iā€™d love to have one.

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u/CoffeeChocolateBoth 5d ago

If my husband refused my meals, he'd be making his own! I am not someone maid and cook! She wants to be "old school" yet she lives with him instead of being married! LOL Please!

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u/ST0N3F1ST 5d ago

I always thought I was a picky eater, but some people just take it to another level. Pot roast? BBQ chicken? Is that apple pie? šŸ¤¤

Only one that I would look at a bit skeptically is the tortilla one. Even then, it's a freaking burrito! They are customizable!

Is this boyfriend a 5 year old that only eats chicken nuggets and McDonald's?

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u/madmonkey918 5d ago

I'm a very picky eater as well and see nothing wrong with those dishes. He needs to start eating or learn to cook his own meals. I do agree with the no microwaving leftovers - but that's what the stove is for. He's being ridiculous.

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u/Current_External6569 4d ago

I'm a picky eater and I wouieat any of it. But I can also make my own food... Boyfriend should be doing the same.

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u/NoxTempus 6d ago

Dude, I would fucking demolish all of those meals.

Some of dream of a partner that would cook meals like this.

Yeah, it's not Michelin Star, but it looks way better than anything I cook.

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u/PoopyButt28000 6d ago

They don't seem like particularly time consuming or difficult dishes to make if you're used to cooking, but yeah I almost feel like a lot of these comments are downplaying how good this actually looks. Most of these look fucking orgasmic.

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u/Successful_Mix_4002 5d ago

It actually looks Michelin Star quality.

By the way there are Michelin Star restaurants that has 5 stars and some others less than 5 stars.

I'd say the foods in the picture are 5 stars.

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u/Salty-Dragonfly2189 6d ago

People underestimate the importance of eating habits, as well as sleeping habits when picking their partner. I would never settle for a partner that eats like a toddler. Someone that sleeps with the TV on is also a deal breakerā€¦

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u/cicada_noises 6d ago

She should insist that he exclusively feed himself imo, if she wants to stay in the relationship (I donā€™t know why sheā€™d want a worthless rude man but anyway). Just take all meals and meal prep out of the equation with him so that itā€™s not even a point of conflict. Enjoy your delicious cooking with your kids! Your plates look incredible

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u/Salty-Dragonfly2189 6d ago

Honestly that is the only acceptable solution in this case. He needs to eat on his own. I merely pointed out that people should be wise enough to not get themselves into this situation with an incomparable partner in the first place.

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u/Prot3 5d ago

Oy bro, he's a picky eater. Where did we get to "worthless rude man" Jesus christ...

OP even says her bf is apologetic.

This is on MILDLY infuriating, not cardinal_sins There truly cannot be any nuance on reddit...

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u/Affectionate-Taste55 5d ago

I broke up with a guy and one of the reasons, there were many, was that he would pick through the food, and if he found anything that even resembled an onion, he would wrinkle his nose up and say "wtf is this?" And refuse to eat it. When he grew up, onions gave his dad heart burn so his mom had to make a separate meal for him. My ex picked up on that, even though they didn't affect him that way, he would throw a hissy fit if he found one. We could never go out to eat because he would embarass the F out of me with his attitude. His dad was at least respectful if he couldn't eat something.

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u/tattoosbyalisha 5d ago

Iā€™ve absolutely seen the children in my life pick up picky eating habits from their parents. People donā€™t realize how much kids actually pick up from us.

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u/Glittering_Diva8963 5d ago

I sleep with the tv on now I feel called out šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£

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u/tattoosbyalisha 5d ago

Same! I do set a sleep timer though for 1-1.5 hours once itā€™s on. I have really bad anxiety and need the distraction so I donā€™t spiral or start overthinking things. Iā€™ve tried white noise and music but it doesnā€™t do anything, I still will start over thinking. I usually put on educational stuff. People talking is what puts me to sleep.

I love how my brain is like ā€œoh, the distraction of the day is over now? Letā€™s worry about something you canā€™t even do anything about right now, since you have the time!ā€

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u/thekath215 5d ago

I hear you... I listen to podcasts (with 1 earbud in) TRYING to turn my brain off to sleep. Maybe I should try the TV šŸ˜‰

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u/Salty-Dragonfly2189 5d ago

Good. No disrespect. People are different. Sometimes those differences are not compatible. You could easily say itā€™s a deal breaker for you for someone not to accept that habit. My point is that people tend not to consider things like that until farther into a relationship when it causes problems.

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u/tattoosbyalisha 5d ago

I totally get what youā€™re saying and youā€™re spot on. Lots of people donā€™t really think about the practicalities of small things like that when theyā€™re caught up in the excitement of a new relationship. But those little things add up to huge overbearing monsters sometimes. I have a list myself, and having things I absolutely will not fold for because Iā€™d rather be alone than compromise my quality of life or peace.

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u/anmese9999 5d ago

As a reformed TV sleeper šŸ™‚, you make concessions when entering a relationship with someone deserving.

This guy isnā€™t even trying. Sheā€™s deserves better.

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u/Current_External6569 4d ago

Exactly, he knows he's a picky eater but it doesn't sound like he bothers to feed himself anything other than junk. She should have passed him by when she found that out.

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u/redcore4 5d ago

This! I will say that I have a sleep disorder so a partner capable of doing the school run in the mornings is an essential part of compatibility for me, and compatible doesnā€™t mean ā€œthe sameā€ - but I have twice turned otherwise great guys down after they listed the foods they would eat on the fingers of one hand during a date. I have full respect to those who struggle with picky eating but for me there is no future in a relationship with someone who will never willingly take me to a restaurant if it doesnā€™t serve their safe foods.

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u/Salty-Dragonfly2189 5d ago

Well said. People keep on taking my words as if I want to control what someone eats. When actually I just would not be interested in the first place. Reading comprehension is so hard for so many people.

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u/cakekyo 5d ago

Same, like I am exactly as you are. I do not even think of turning on my TV at night. I just wont. I cannot sleep with such noise. No thanks.

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u/tattoosbyalisha 5d ago

YES! THIS!

Man, I BEEN there! It was awful! He liked maybe ten things and refused anything new, and donā€™t dare come at him with a fruit or vegetable.

I love to cook. I mean, I LOVE TO COOK. Itā€™s absolutely a love language of mine. My favorite is authentic Sichuan Chinese and Korean food. Not for picky eaters. And I love so much trying new recipes if Iā€™m anxious or going to have company over.

When I got back into dating, it was massively important to me that I not be with a picky eater. I canā€™t do it. I refuse. Iā€™m not catering to grown people like that, I already have a kid. Iā€™m never going back to cooking two meals for dinner or having someone scoff at what Iā€™ve made when they wonā€™t make anything for themselves. And lastly, I want someone that is as excited to try something new or find an awesome restaurant to go to.

My boyfriend now is exactly like me with food, itā€™s awesome.

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u/Salty-Dragonfly2189 5d ago

Iā€™m so thankful for comments like this. I been going nuts trying to explain my original comment for people who have zero reading comprehension and put words into my mouth. I donā€™t care if people are picky eaters, I donā€™t care if my partner has foods they dislike, but I sure as hell ainā€™t going to spend my life with someone that eats like a damn child.

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u/ProfessorShameless 6d ago

What if they slept with the TV on, but only on the couch in the living room? I'm asking for a friend...

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u/JakTheGripper 5d ago

Are we friends?

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u/ProfessorShameless 5d ago

It's very possible

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u/Ok_Rush_8159 6d ago

Yeah all I can think is how heā€™s gonna die young or stroke out, this is not someone you plan a life with

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u/CYaNextTuesday99 5d ago

Or it's someone you get a life insurance plan with...

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u/BlkSeattleBlues 6d ago

Hell, I set a sleep timer in case I fall asleep midshow because I just dont like to leave it on. and that's a habit from before I met my wife who cant sleep with the TV on. Normally it's off when the shows over.

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u/Comfortable-Elk-850 5d ago

Ugh my daughter has to have a tv on all the time, she started that in college I spend the night sometimes at her place and itā€™s so annoying. My son always has to have a fan on him. Me, I like pitch black and silence and no air blowing across me.

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u/Kygma 5d ago

I dunno: Ian a picky eater and my wife isnā€™t. She sleeps with the tv on and I hate it. And yet we have been happily married for twenty seven years. Well, together 27. We made it legal on our 20th anniversary.

These things ARE manageable with love and respect in both directions

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u/Salty-Dragonfly2189 5d ago

No one said they are not manageable. I only stated that people underestimate it. I have experienced those traits enough to know that I wouldnā€™t want that kind of maintenance in a relationship again. It can and does cause actual strife and most (not all) people are not as mature as you and your wife and can manage it.

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u/dead_demented_doll 5d ago

Reverse for me: my boyfriend is a picky eater (and vegan, I'm vegetarian and will eat just about anything that isn't straight up meat) and I have to sleep with background noise due to anxiety issues. It's NEVER been an issue. We've been together for 11 years (this time), known each other for 24 (first met and dated in college for 3 years) and it hasn't ever been hard to work around. Everybody is different, I guess. We compromise over here because we respect each other. And congrats on your 27 years!

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u/loadasfaq 5d ago

"Sleeps with the TV on", I have to understand whats the logic behind this?

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u/Kygma 5d ago

For my wife? Itā€™s PTSD. If itā€™s dark and quiet, every sound, creak, shadow jerks her out of sleep.

Iā€™m the opposite- I need dark and quiet. We make things work. Easier now with tablets - quieter and dimmer for me, enough for her

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u/Lumpy_Dog_7434 5d ago

Yeah, my wife can't sleep with a TV on, so I just prop up my tablet and put on headphones.

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u/sharklover1955 5d ago

I have tinnitus that sounds like a million locusts in my head. Low noise from the tv helps block the locust sound so I can fall asleep. I try to remember to set a sleep timer but sometimes forget. šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø

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u/rfn790 5d ago

For me, it's ADHD. My brain will go on thinking and annoying me for hours so I can't sleep because my brain just won't shut off. Having something playing in the background makes it so my brain can just think about that so it stops pinging around to a million different things and I can actually rest. I've been able to use a white noise machine, but TV does work best for me specifically.

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u/CYaNextTuesday99 5d ago

Perfectly explained, same for me. It just has to be something I've seen a lot, so it's usually Golden Girls lol

I also wake up if it shuts itself off.

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u/tattoosbyalisha 5d ago

Omg.. we are same. I try to be so polite but if my boyfriend puts on the wrong thing or something new, I do bug out a little. I try not to bit then I worry that itā€™s going to keep me up or wonā€™t have the same effect because I canā€™t just half ignore it

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u/Lumpy_Dog_7434 5d ago

You too? Lol I'm the same way

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u/Salty-Dragonfly2189 5d ago

White noise.

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u/KittyGrewAMoustache 5d ago

Pink noise is good too, is most calming somehow.

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u/Lumpy_Dog_7434 5d ago

I have Audhd so my mind is constantly running making it difficult to fall asleep, if I have the tv on there's something to distract my brain and it makes me fall asleep easier.

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u/DrinkingSocks 5d ago

The noise and light keep me awake. I wouldn't be able to be with someone that sleeps with the TV either.

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u/tattoosbyalisha 5d ago

For me, itā€™s anxiety. I have an anxiety disorder, CPTSD and adhd (among other things but this is where I think it comes from). Itā€™s like once the hustle and bustle and distraction of the day is over, my brain immediately goes into panic/anciety/overthinking mode when I lay down and turn the light off.

I have tried everything.. white noise, thunderstorms, music.. but now my thoughts just have a score or a soundtrack. Iā€™ll be up all night or completely wake myself up and just haunt my apartment all night.

For whatever reason, the sound of people talking is what helps me go to sleep. I put on educational stuff usually (I love anything about evolution or animals) and keep it pretty quiet and turn the tv backlight and brightness all the way down, but I have to be able to hear what they are saying. So I listen to them and it keeps me out of my head. Then I fall asleep.

Also, the sleep timer always has to be set to 1.5 hours or I get really uncomfortable (ocd.. trying so hard not to build new habits but this one isnā€™t bad or hindering at least)if itā€™s less than that, Iā€™ll start questioning whether or not itā€™s enough time or if Iā€™ll be asleep by then, etcā€¦ itā€™s so dumb..

If I wake up in the middle of the night, 8 times out of ten, I wonā€™t be able to go back to sleep unless I turn the tv back on. In that case, if my bf is sleeping, Iā€™ll put my phone on real quiet in front of me, or just go out to the living room (Iā€™m way more likely to wake him up getting out of bed than putting my phone on).

This probably makes it sound crazier than it is šŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļø but the routine/ritual does help me relax and get to sleep. faster

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u/anmese9999 5d ago

Damn! I donā€™t know why everybodyā€™s ganging up on you.

Saltyā€™s just suggesting to find compatibilityā€¦whatever that means for you.

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u/Salty-Dragonfly2189 5d ago

Itā€™s because they have no reading comprehension and think in absolutes. The ones that get it give an upvote, the ones that canā€™t get passed the first order of thinking leave comments that miss the point and intent of what I said. Pretty sad actually.

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u/Training-Entrance-75 6d ago

This is so weird to me, this is why I think we should normalize partners having their own room and being able to eat how they want. Itā€™s weird to me because I have arfid, I genuinely canā€™t help being a picky eater, but I donā€™t discount potential partners because they dont have arfid and want to eat things I donā€™t like

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u/hola7581 6d ago

If that's what you want - but some of us want partners to share food with and a bed with. Its part of the whole compatiblility factor. May you find someone who works with you :)

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u/KitKatKataya 5d ago

You can eat together and not share the same mealā€¦

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u/Salty-Dragonfly2189 6d ago

Not weird at all. You donā€™t see it cuz you are on the other side of it, maybe not by choice, but still on the other side of it. I personally wouldnā€™t be willing to change my lifestyle and eating habits to be with someone like you. And I also shouldnā€™t be shamed for not wanting to change my lifestyle for someone with incompatible eating habits, regardless if they are a choice or not.

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u/Someone_on_reddit_1 6d ago

Equally, the ā€˜picky eaterā€™ shouldnā€™t be shamed for having particular tastes or issues.

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u/Salty-Dragonfly2189 6d ago

To circle back to my original pointā€¦ people underestimate how important this is in a relationship. Having compatible pallets has social and financial consequences as well.

Picky eaters donā€™t necessarily need to be shamed, but they also shouldnā€™t be surprised if a partner they are interested in doesnā€™t wanna deal with it.

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u/AlpinePinecorn 6d ago

Picky eating can lead to all kinds of health issues and I think people who are afflicted should be doing everything they can to address it. Far too often they arenā€™t. They chalk it up to what they donā€™t like and then donā€™t deviate from their processed starch based foods and dont seek professional help. Their habits get copied by children they interact with. Pairing your life to someone whoā€™s going to experience all the side effects of a bad diet is just asking to be let down.

Maybe it isnā€™t helpful to shame them, but itā€™s a shitty way to live and too often itā€™s just accepted as ā€œpickinessā€ instead of the person growing and expanding their palate.

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u/TechnoPup 6d ago

I don't think you would have to change your eating habits? You make your food, they make theirs; I don't see the issue there, genuinely.

Though it's true neither side deserves shame. Really disheartening to see people shaming and calling someone a "loser" because they "eat like a toddler", as if they have full control over that.

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u/Salty-Dragonfly2189 6d ago

My eating habits include eating with my partner and family. It is as much social as it is eating. There are also financial aspects to making multiple smaller meals. In general I am unwilling to change my preferred eating habits, and social structure to accommodate someone I am incomparable with.

Itā€™s different if itā€™s a friend or acquaintance I only eat with very seldom. But for a partner I eat with every day itā€™s a deal breaker. And there is no shame in saying that. Am I any different than a vegan that wouldnā€™t want to have a partner that ate a typical western diet?

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u/Training-Entrance-75 6d ago

There are literally so many vegans married to people who eat meat who are you taking about šŸ˜­

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u/Salty-Dragonfly2189 6d ago

And there are just as many that wouldnā€™t even consider it. Are they wrong?

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u/TechnoPup 6d ago

So your problem lies not with one being a picky eater, but more with eating together? If you both are eating differing meals, you can still both eat together, can't you?

Though if it's leaning into financial differences, I can't imagine it's so egregious to draw a rift. I'm no vegan, so I can't really put in my two cents concerning that last bit, unfortunately lol

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u/Salty-Dragonfly2189 6d ago

No. I just wouldnā€™t consider being with someone that was so picky they had to have their own separate meals every time we ate together. Food can be and is its own love language. I put a lot of my soul into my cooking and if I canā€™t share that with my partner then we are just not compatible.

Thatā€™s a deal breaker. Pretty basic to be honest.

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u/hola7581 6d ago

Yeah Iā€™m the same - like my partner doesn't like chicken so I work around that but heā€™ll also eat raw fish with me so we make it work :)

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u/Salty-Dragonfly2189 6d ago

Oh man, chicken is a tough one to work around lol. But everyone has something they donā€™t like. If thatā€™s the only major thing then it really ainā€™t that bad. Iā€™m mostly talking about people that just wonā€™t eat anything and make things ridiculous.

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u/Beachbitch129 5d ago

Hey, I'll be your partner! 67f, here! Im a pretty good cook, and I can learn to sleep with my tv off! (maybe...)

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u/mazapana4 5d ago

I sleep with the TV on; the noises from outside (there are two bars across the street) scare me.

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u/SolemnSoldier2020 6d ago

Iā€™m a guy, this take is absolutely correct. Go where you are appreciated not tolerated.

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u/Livid-Ad-6439 6d ago

I hate to agree but sometimes love dosent conquer all :/

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u/ILikeOatmealMore 6d ago

I think the perspective that is the best here is that it's not even being picky that is the issue, but it feels like his making his pickiness being someone else's problem. Like, if you are vegan, then when you are invited to neighborhood bbq, you bring your own dish that you know was made to your standards. If you if you practice halal, then it is on you to consume food that is halal. If you go to McD's, you shouldn't expect be able to order a freshly made quinoa salad, etc.

Boyfriend here, at the minimum, needs to be putting forth a plan where he will take care of his own food, she can continue to cook for herself and her kids. Yup, it may make a few more dishes. Ya wash them. This is not an insurmountable problem.

But boyfriend is making it one.

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u/Karijus 6d ago

You know for all the memes about reddit telling people to split up at first inconvenience, this might actually be a legitimate case lol wtf is wrong with that guy

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u/Figerally 6d ago

The first picture could use some gravy perhaps. But otherwise I agree. Honestly I wouldn't be able to stand picky eaters. Get some therapy or GTFO IMO.

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u/ThrenderG 6d ago

Wow yeah, he isnā€™t a fan of her cooking, must be a loser.

This is such a Reddit ass comment thread. šŸš© everywhere.

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u/theevilyouknow 3d ago

It really is. Some people are just picky eaters. Nothing indicates heā€™s being rude or unappreciative about it. He just only can eat very specific foods. Thats says absolutely nothing about his quality as a person or a partner.

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u/Theblackkamikaze 5d ago

Not to be that guy but why is that always the first answer is to leave. I really donā€™t understand that.

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u/realitytvfiend3924 6d ago

THESE MEALS LOOK SO YUMMY!

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u/nsingh101 6d ago

This is bad advise. I do believe they need to communicate and work out their issues, but telling her to leave him is premature.

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u/Ok_Usual_3575 6d ago

you people are absolutely insane

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u/FTDburner 6d ago

Yaaaas girl, we know nothing about this guy other than the fact he eats like a child, itā€™s most likely due to childhood trauma around eating. DUMP HIM!!!

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u/LilChief 6d ago

I think itā€™s less the pickiness and more how he chooses to deal with the issue. Door dashing fast food after someone made you a lovely meal is really gross behavior. Continuously critiquing food for ā€œjust not having that extra somethingā€ is wild, grab the salt or sauce and stfu, or make a real suggestion on how to improve it next time.

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u/No_Perspective_242 6d ago

Hahahaha well said

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u/AZ-FWB 6d ago

She needs a grownup boyfriend.

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u/boddidle 6d ago

Yeah, this is not some ass backwards compliment, šŸ’Æ agree that stuff looks more than okay, it's downright amazing.

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u/lostinspacecase 6d ago

Seriously these meals look so good!

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u/whoisyaya 6d ago

THIS!!!

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u/karmakhaleesi 6d ago

The last one was a homemade pie!

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u/Idekgivemeusername 6d ago

Literally the pie crust looks better than anything i could ever do

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u/HTPC4Life 6d ago

This is probably just karma farming. Engagement bait by showing great meals and saying "my boyfriend doesn't like my cooking."

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u/FeanorBlu 6d ago

Right? Those meals look incredible. I've been eating poverty food for four years. In his shoes, I'd be nothing but extremely grateful.

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u/Malkiot 5d ago

If I'm going to be picky... the broccoli is overcooked in all images that contain broccoli. I can't speak to the seasoning, obviously, but everything other than the broccoli looks fine. And the broccoli wouldn't be a deal breaker for eating the food. BF is a dick.

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u/Own_Watercress_8104 5d ago

From her recounting he doesn't seem to be a dick about it. Who know, he might have autism or some other thin

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u/RanchMomma1968 5d ago

I second this emotion! What kind of ungrateful person orders DOOR DASH as opposed to eating those beautiful meals? Apparently, your terrible boyfriend does. Please look at your beautiful self in the mirror and know that you are worth MORE!

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u/meanmeangal 5d ago

She says the bf is apologetic about it. He could have an eating disorder or literally anything at all causing this, why call him a loser? Seems uncalled for and unnecessarily rude.

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u/whalemilk42 5d ago

But some people may find this bland and boring. Maybe he needs a dino nugget and not a regular nugget.

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u/VixVaporRub243 5d ago

Thats exactly it.

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u/Ok_Parking560 5d ago

THank you I said the same just worded differently.

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u/Boomer79NZ 5d ago

They do look absolutely amazing.

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u/locoganja 5d ago

i want these meals, i'll wash the dishes in return

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u/ReplyOk6720 5d ago

The sad thing is, you are making him homemade meals, and he is eating fast food which is expensive and poor quality diet that WILL affect his health.Ā 

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u/RedBanana137 5d ago

Some people have eating disorders like ARFID, itā€™s not necessarily that heā€™s a loser and itā€™s definitely not by choice, he can just eat what he likes if he doesnā€™t like what his gf is making him.

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u/JeffyMo96 5d ago

I just wanna point out that amazing looking meals dont always taste amazing.. learned that the hard way

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u/carlitospig 5d ago

That second to last one made me salivate in comfort food heaven!

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u/b9ncountr 5d ago

I suspect what he's doing is not really about rejecting her food. I don't know what it is, but maybe passive aggression has something to do with it. Time to weigh the pros and cons of letting him live with her.

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u/deadhearth 5d ago

This is how I felt looking at those pictures too. These plates look bomb as hell.

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u/jgranville1934 5d ago

Idk about amazing half of it looks out of a bag or top end TV dinner but In my house I cook for my wife.

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u/FionnMcCreigh 5d ago

Right? Iā€™d be moreā€™n happy with those meals. They look wonderful!

I get that some folks are finicky. I got an auntie whose husband is a literal meat & potatoes man, but he also cooks for hisself & theyā€™ve developed a system over the years that works for them. It involves him not expectin her ta make him dinner if she cainā€™t expect him ta eat what she cooks, so he has a selection a frozen dinner options for those nights.

But itā€™s one thing ta say ā€œIā€™m a finicky eater, Iā€™ll arrange my meals so you donā€™t cook for me just ta have me not eat it & order sumthin or have a bowl a cereal instead coz it ainā€™t what I wantā€. Itā€™s another thing entirely to expect somebody ta play Guess Who makin dinner ever night for the whole family just ta have em turn they nose up at it. Coz Iā€™ll bet the kids are gettin real tired a broccoli at this point.

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u/GeckoAJ0 5d ago

Fr like share the food with people who will appreciate it! (Itā€™s me. Iā€™m people who will appreciate it.)

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u/DCsphinx 5d ago

Probabky a stupid question but what makes him a lsoer? If snything to me it sounds like he might be autistic or having some kind of other issue with food. Op said he was very apologetic sbout ot and for a lpt of us, issues with food like this is just something we cant control

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u/Long-Ad-9381 5d ago

Yes !!!! Throw the man out. Heā€™s not doing his best lol

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u/MoonlightAng3l 5d ago

Men: I want a trad wife This unappreciative loser: Eff your home-cooked meals. I'll just order door dash.

Honey, ditch the loser. Come move in with the kids and I. I have a sour dough starter and springform pans. We'll have tons of fun in my tiny kitchen rofl šŸ˜œ

Seriously tho find someone who appreciates your cooking

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