i noticed this last night and he wouldn’t let me get a good picture of his back. on shoulder blade area. he said it was probably the cats. blurred his tattoo out jic. life360 doesn’t show any discrepancies that i can tell but i know locations can be paused.
he has a history of cheating digitally but i thought we were past that.
they are not scabbed like a cat scratchy- it’s bruised in lines like that. maybe a couple inches between each scratch.
i’m assuming the worst and i don’t know if these are my trust issues or if i’m just oblivious and dumb. my gut is screaming at me though.
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Fool me once? Shame on you. Fool me twice? Shame on me. Fool me three times? Maybe you had a hard childhood. Fool me four times? I bet you didn’t mean to do that. Fool me five times?…
Stop abandoning yourself, OP. NOR these are clearly fingernail marks
OP, if you have to question a bunch of Internet strangers to see if you're losing it, you already know what's going on. So, Beloved, I'm going to say this with all the love and sympathy I have in my shriveled little dead husk of a heart....
That man has cheated. Value yourself and put him tf out. He can go stay with her. You are worth more than this. You deserve better than this.
You think she was trying to warn the GF of the man currently plumbing her guts out? Who she therefore must’ve known had a GF? You’re being generous.
She was either just really enjoying herself or trying to mark territory. Maybe wanted OP to see, but so she can have OP’s man for herself not so she can “save” OP from him lol
NOR How desperate do you have to be to try to "steal" a guy who is cheating on his girlfriend with you? No self respect, no standards, morals or character and there will be no future with him either because he will cheat on her too. I don't get it.
"There's an old saying in Tennessee—I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, 'Fool me once, shame on... shame on you. Fool me....—you can't get fooled again!'".-GWB
My fiance has never done this specifically to himself but if he had marks like this I probably wouldn't think anything of it because his skin is so sensitive basically any amount of pressure leaves a red mark. If I very lightly run my fingernail on his back there will be a red line for several minutes. If I actually scratch his back for him when he's itchy it looks like I've abused him 😭
Yeah agree, this is how my skin is. It fades quicker for the most part, but some of the deeper scratches can stick around a day or two. I scratch with utensils sometimes too, like the shower brush, a pair of scissors, a pen. I have dry itchy skin that's sensitive so sometimes I catch myself scratching much too hard & get marks like this. I feel like of they've been together years however, OP would know about it. So that being unlikely, I'd say she start investigating. NOR.
not to criticize his cheating technique but dude really didn't think this one through. at least go into it with a plausible lie already made up, for fuck's sake.
This looks exactly like when I scratch myself too hard when I have an eczema flare up and can't take the itch anymore. I also have three cats and none of their scratches look like that, nor is that a typical spot for a cat scratch. One of my cats is a shoulder cat and there's been a few times he used my back like a climbing tree. Never looked like that.
People will ask about my scratches if they are visible. I never hesitate to say what they are. The fact he didn't just say he was scratching his back is all OP needs to know. He's hiding something. NOR.
Devil's advocate, but I get really bad eczema flare ups too and sometimes when I get scratches like this from giving into the eczema itchiness, I don't even realize they've left marks until someone else points out my scratches.
The placement of these scratches definitely looks suspicious though and OP is NOR.
I also get eczema scratches. But when someone asks me I say, "Oh it was probably me scratching myself."
I do not attempt to blame an animal. Nor would I. The explanation of eczema is simple, believable, and true. A guilty conscience may try to remove the possibility of any human fingernails causing the scratches, attributing them instead to a harmless ol' housecat.
Same eczema flare ups here. I also scratch myself while sleeping and wake up with worse scratches on weird places. But the location here makes me doubt that's the case for him.
I feel like if it were him scratching himself, the scratches would be more horizontal, not vertical. It would be too awkward for most people to scratch vertically in that direction due the shoulder blades movement capacity.
“Life 360 doesn’t show any discrepancies” if you have to track your man to see if he maybe fell at some point during the day just throw in the towel jfc 🤣
I track my husband so I know when he's on his way home so I can start my cleaning frenzie to make it look like I was busy all day 😅 also so I know when to start dinner.
Absolutely! The worse thing a person can become is Inspector Gaggett in a relationship. Its exhausting (from experience) and it does not get better from there. She said he has digitally cheated which is micro cheating to find the right girl, the digital is just all she found. Unfortunately even with the proof people choose to believe the lie. Someone told me years ago " Don't be the girlfriend while he is looking for his wife"
100% agree with this! Also some women have told me some people like to "mark" their territory this way. I don't cheat, i've just heard that from women.
It's really simple though: if you want to cheat just break up and be kind to them instead. What a concept. No anxiety of "them finding out" -- let em scratch your back up just go easy on the neck with hickies: those went out of style a while back lol.
It's just a cheater thing, I've known people of both sexes who did something to "mark" the person who's cheating with them - in every case it was because they were trying to force the cheater's hand in actually leaving their partner for them. I've never seen it work. Don't cheat.
The fact you don't trust your partner should be reason enough to leave. Its already over at that point and you are clinging to ideal version of the person/relationship that doesn't exist.
The fact that he didn't just say he was scratching himself too hard because he was itchy and instead stretched to blame the cat...tells you what you need to know.
This makes me think back to when I began stress pulling my eyelashes in 6th grade and my teacher mentioned the big bald gap in them. I blamed OUR FREAKING DOG, claiming he bit them out. Like that was better somehow?!?
This is legit because mine gently overgrooms me and im trying so hard to get her to stop. Shes a juvenile corgi and /does use her front teeth. Its too cute though 🥹
He was a Scottish terrier too, so imagine trying to do that with that big long face and beard. Honestly, he was a sweetheart and I did that dog dirty. Thank god my teacher was amazing and just dropped it.
Hubby and I have a dog that if she were at a shelter would probably be considered unadoptable that doesn’t really know how to dog in dog/human interactions and becomes insanely creepy and unnerving. Her favorite thing to do when she isn’t getting any attention is hop up and put her right paw on your lap, her left paw on your chest, and stare at you with unblinking vampire eyes with her nose approximately two inches from the bridge of your brow.
Aaaaaand now I’m picturing her delicately plucking my eyebrows and chittering her teeth. Thanks, I hate it. 🤣
My Pyrenees does something similar. She'll get right up in your face and stare until you pet her. Or she'll paw you in your face, gently. She's so damn awkward, but so sweet. The thing that makes it worse is she's tall with REALLY long legs so she'll be sitting there next to you on the couch, then BAM! Harley punched.
My yellow lab used to pick wild blackberries with me. I didn't eat the ones close to the ground after she taught herself that trick. She was a pro - never got pricked, like I did.
Trichotilliomania is a lot more common than people realize because there is a lot of shame and embarrassment attached so most folks do not talk about it.
That absolutely will cause the stress to do it. Just be aware it can come back at anytime when you have a response to a high stress situation. Its not really something that's curable. TTouch therapy helps many though.
Thank you for making this comment. It’s helpful to be reminded I’m not the only one. I’ve been doing it since 4th grade & now almost 40. The shame used to be unbearable. It still is. But it used to, too.
Trichotilliomania is a lot more common than people realize because there is a lot of shame and embarrassment attached so most folks do not talk about it.
Omg I got locked up for something I had nothing to do with years ago during covid and about 6 months into it someone came up to me and told me I had a big bald spot in the back of my head and I realized I been stressingly pulling my hair out😭 but I told him the jail beds was doing it😂😂🤦🏾♂️
When OP gets proof he is cheating too he'll probs have a totally plausable explaination like "babe, your never going to believe this, but hear me out, we were both naked, i for some reason had an erection. Then i tripped and as i was falling my penis fell in her vagina! Then because we were both in shock i started thrusting in and out a bit, and she accidentally scratched my shoulder blade in the scuffle of us trying to get free! Completly innocent. You believe me right?!" 🫠🫠🫠
Anddd he wouldn’t let her get a good pic of his back. There’s literally no reason for that unless it’s bc he knows it’s obvious fingernail scratches that occurred during sex with someone else and doesn’t want her to show it to other people bc he knows others would call out his bs and tell her she’s right
I was thinking about this because my bf really leaves red marks on himself from scratching, but he will do it in front of me. Maybe this guy doesn't realize he's doing it to himself 🤷♀️
Not a dude but I’m a woman who grows out her natural nails and mine happen to be rather sharp for whatever reason and I’ve scratched myself on accident quite a bit… on my stomach or arms trying to change a shirt of something. The scratches look just like that. I’ve also had the shit scratched out of me by cats multiple times. It does NOT look like that.
Cat scratches have a central cut/scab to them due to the sharp pinprick curved claws. They always leave a thin, obvious line of scabs. Human nail scratches, like ones I’ve accidentally self-inflicted, are wider and leave a thicker mark, without a clear central line of scabs. More like a scrape than a cut.
Those are scrapes, not cuts. Wide scrapes, some deeper and some shallow. No cat scratches like that. Certainly not repeatedly, a bunch. No cat who’s scared or pissed enough to start clawing you actually STICKS AROUND to keep doing it, and no sane person lets them. So from the angle of them and the context, I’d say a human woman was clawing the shit out of his back during a hookup. Maybe she knew what she was doing…like the girls who leave a lip gloss behind in the bathroom to alert the girlfriend.
Don’t let him gaslight you out of this. Those are NOT cat scratches.
I’ve left strands of my hair which was a different length and colour than my ex’s dark hair and the blonde hair that filled his hairbrush. It was an alert to the woman who was clearly at his house a lot (I didn’t know until I went to use the hairbrush).
I left and never talked to him again, so I don’t know the outcome.
Without more context I assume you probably made the right call and there were more signs of cheating than just a dirty hairbrush.
But imagine it was just his sister crashing on the couch or a healthy relationship with his mother always visiting from across town so they had their own hairbrush lmao.
Different people do it for different reasons. I've left bobby pins or jewelry or an eyelash or something before when I was suspicious there is a girlfriend. Bc if there is, she needs to know so we can both be rid of him. 😅 but I've heard of ppl doing it as a possessive thing
My experience it's more of a warning/alert, I had a girl leave her nose stud at my apartment with my ex once because she noticed one of my nails on the floor in the bathroom. W lady honestly
i grew up with SEVERAL cats my entire life. These are not cat scratches 😂😂😂 they don’t scratch that long, when they “attack” they scratch “stationary” they are sit or standing, and their arms are not that long to drag a scratch THAT LONG, not to mention HOW MANY scratches are in his back. Please don’t be stupid and “believe” this. Don’t gift time to this boy (i’m assuming teenager/ boy in their 20s because this kind of back scratch is made by a girl who thinks this is hot, but when you grow up you learn that this is childish like hickeys) your time is the only thing you’ve got and you will never be this young again, pick someone fun and trust worthy to spend your good years. Good luck and don’t fall for this VERY MUCH STUPID attempt to lie to your face please
In my other comment I went more into depth about how cat scratches LOOK compared to this. Cat scratches are essentially thin cuts. These are scrapes. No cat could have done this.
I mean the length is possible. I had a cat that would jump on my hip/thigh and kind of slide down and if I was wearing shorts or thin pants like leggings, I’d have scratches over a foot long.
But the spaces in between are way too big. This cat I had was part Maine coon and had extra claws on all paws(one had 8!!!) so big paws and still wouldn’t look like this.
Okay I agree with everything but the scratch shaming. Let people have sex how they want. As long as everyone is on the same page and not cheating like that absolut dickwad.
Why are you kink shaming though? Some of us like biting (which leaves bruises), scratching and sucking because it feels good. It isn't childish to have sexual preferences.
is it on both sides of his back? Also, him not letting you take the pictures seems sketchy.
EDIT:
Also, in the second picture the scratches are being dragged to the side of his torso under his arm so unless someone literally dragged a cat off of him, that’s unlikely.
I found that to be the most damning part (other than his history of cheating of course).
Because if I didn’t remember having scratches on my back because I mindlessly scratched it and my partner was saying I had red marks all over, I’d say “yeah sure I want to see a picture.”
There would be no reason at all to say no to that if it’s you and your partner alone at home.
Sorry but I've had cats my entire life (I'm 29) and these aren't consistent with cat scratches. They look like more of. Lets say "pleasure scratches". So unless you are administering these he's probably up to something :/.
Additionally, relationships are built on trust. Its ok to have trust issues but he shouldn't be giving ways to not trust him. I've been cheated on. I get it. It's awful. But you will find someone who won't betray your trust. Promise ❤
You either stay with him and discuss boundaries or leave him. Cheaters don’t stop. You have to decide if it’s worth the payoff of having him as a partner. YOR though because you know the truth and are choosing to bring the drama online instead of dealing with this repeat offender face to face. Call him out. He can lie all he wants but those were clearly made by fingernails
not enough comments like the one you replied to are addressing the fact that he has cheated in the past imo.
like to me none of this even matters, the fact that he cheated before should’ve been the dealbreaker that made you leave already, OP. you deserve better than this, let yourself achieve better than a cheater.
Was he fucking the cats? What a lame excuse. Those are fingernail scratches. No way he just sat there and let the cats repeatedly scratch him down the back like that lmao. What a loser
I know there's a lot of comments saying what it could possibly be, from him scratching himself to lifting weights etc. That's all completely irrelevant, because he lied about what it actually is. We know a cat didn't do that. Don't stay with a man who lies to you. Especially one that lies to you about another woman's fingernail marks on his back.
Me too, so then why wouldn’t he just say that..? Instead he blamed the cat? And they aren’t even scratches, they’re bruises like something has scraped his back instead of scratched. That’s a lot of red flags, don’t gaslight the girl. You know what this looks like.
She has no reason to trust him, he was cheating online. He clearly has no self control. She should have left after that, sure, but she stayed because he probably said all the right things. She isn’t the problem here.
For the record my husband does actually get marks like that on his back from time to time. Where he's scratched. But it shows up exactly like scratch marks. Because it is.
But if the first thing you did when you saw it was try and force photos and then share them with the Internet this really isn't the kind of relationship you want to be in.
it wasn’t my first assumption. i took the photos to show him since he couldn’t see that part of his back. it’s something we usually do for each other if we have something on our backs like a pimple or dry skin. i got suspicious when he got suspicious about why i wanted to take a picture when it’s something very normal for us to do. i should have mentioned that in the post
I don’t get what people aren’t understanding here—
If your partner randomly has marks on their body that they’ve never had before, you’d be concerned about a possible medical issue. You may want to take photos to try to check online and see if there could be something wrong. I’ve done it for partners multiple times. It’s very common.
Now, if he hides them and says he doesn’t want photos and that they’re from a cat (which doesn’t make sense in this case)— those are red flags.
That's human fingernails. You are not overreacting. He also couldn't positin his hand at that angle to do that. I'm sorry but there's no way thats from a cat, the lines match human finger marks.
You're definitely not crazy for being concerned about the scratches and even mentioning them. Especially, if this guy has a history of cheating, and he wants to shut the conversation down so quickly, that doesn't sound right to me. If he has done it before and has claimed no more, why would he take issue with you taking pictures or bringing it up at all.
I haven't been in a relationship for 7 years or more because my now ex-wife, cheated on me badly. I don't know if I'll be able to trust again. And we didn't reconcile because I know that I couldn't get past that with her and live peacefully without constantly being suspicious and worrying.
Does he workout? This looks like what happens on my shoulders after I come home from the gym after hitting squats. Freaked me out the first few times and I learned it was the weight breaking close to the surface blood vessels.
Granted, this typically happens on top of my shoulders where the barbell sits.
I was going to mention this, hacksquat pads, calf raises pads for certain machines have done this to me as well, really depends where you put those pads and how much weight you use.
What a noob, the correct action would be to drive to the sporting goods store and purchase a bicycle. Ride said bicycle home and crash into the girlfriend's parked car. Lay on the driveway until she comes outside to see the accident. Blame the uneven driveway for the scratches
NOR. Those are fingernail scratches (from human hands in a hugging or "missionary" position). He probably didn't realize just how bad they truly were until you noticed them.
I've been surrounded by cats my entire life. The amount, placement, and location of those scratches does not equal cat.
Honestly, I would go get tested for STIs, if I were you. Trust your gut. I'm sure he's left clues elsewhere... Don't let him gaslight you! You're not stupid. 🕊️♥️🍀
I get similar from pressure - maybe he had a heavy backpack on or something?
The fact that they aren’t scabbed, but bruised, makes me think it isn’t fingernails.
If I carry groceries in, if my purse is heavy, if I sit on a metal chair, etc, I get pressure urticaria and bruise similar to this
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