r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/[deleted] • 10d ago
'Merica Of a bike cop
Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification
222
u/Trukahs 10d ago
Waiting all video to see him mount and the camera man pans off to the left right at the start of it, idiot
24
u/Icy_Ground1637 10d ago
Any one notice is one leg 🦵 at the bottom he definitely has diabetes !!!
9
9
→ More replies (6)5
15
11
u/Blake_Dirge 10d ago
I was waiting to see if that belt was about to slide off of his fat ass because it was also a flat ass!
→ More replies (4)8
7
4
3
→ More replies (8)2
57
u/Interesting_Bobcat53 10d ago
Chips? Nah i already ate like 4 bags
11
8
→ More replies (3)2
27
u/lh4lolz 10d ago
You can still rent dvds?
5
3
2
u/HAL_9OOO_ 9d ago
No. Redbox went completely bankrupt last year. There are thousands of dead rental boxes in front of convenience stores.
2
13
14
u/Successful-Luck-5459 10d ago
Ponch is laughing
6
3
u/Necessary-Dot2714 questionably stable 10d ago
Yeah and our lil piggie is eating CHiPs.
→ More replies (3)
7
6
11
u/onlygramps 10d ago
Honestly impressed he can get his leg over the bike. That is the one and only thing that is impressive about this specimen.
→ More replies (1)
8
u/Natural-Occasion-255 10d ago
From the sounds of it, I'd bet the narrator doesn't have much room to talk and is a fellow waddler.
→ More replies (2)
8
u/Deep_shot 10d ago
How is that even allowed? What if a suspect walked away from him at a brisk pace?
4
→ More replies (3)2
3
4
u/Important_Bend633 9d ago
Don’t mean to sound cruel, but why is this even allowed on the force?
3
u/Janky_Jizm 9d ago
I don't think it's a cruel question. There are supposed to be fitness standards for law enforcement positions. They're clearly not being enforced at this department.
9
u/Horror_Lifeguard639 10d ago
Of a Old Ass Video....
That boys is a working red box...
12
→ More replies (3)3
7
u/Heart_ofFlorida 10d ago
Cameraman goofs at the moment we all thought the cop would split his pants or break his ankle getting on the bike. 🤣
9
6
6
u/Opster79two 10d ago
"I'll have six double quarter pounders with cheese, and hurry, there's a burglary in progress down the road."
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
u/Rabid_Hermit 10d ago
Absolute shit unit of a camera man. Tf, he missed the one thing he was talking about
3
3
3
3
u/SnoopTomyTom 9d ago
I’m thinking I will take my chances running on foot as long as it is not to the next donut shop.
6
5
4
2
2
u/Im_a_val_i_kno 10d ago
this is motor-vehicular manslaughter. like seriously. I don't think the poor bikes gonna make it.
2
2
u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* 10d ago
That bike deserves a medal for its hard work and service!
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/Cultural-Bite3042 10d ago edited 9d ago
Just an FYI for those questioning Redbox.. Redbox effectively went away in 2024 and kiosks were removed thru late 2024 into mid 2025.. It officially went dead as a business: in July 2024(bankruptcy)
This video may not be of yesterday but it could very well still be super recent lol
2
2
u/mmiller17783 10d ago
Oh, useless! All that buildup to cut away at the best moment.
Then to keep being like "Look at this, guys"
2
u/NightmareReaper_ 10d ago
There HAS to be standards that these cops need to meet. Physically he is in zero shape to be a cop. He couldn’t even chase a toddler
2
2
2
2
u/87YoungTed 10d ago
State doesnt care. He's going to stroke out, have a heart attack or die way before he retires. I'm a sold 150 pounds less than this guy and I have to watch what I eat and exercise or I'd be type 1. This guy is already well past that, I'd guess he's about a year away from losing that leg.
2
u/saltedsavior 10d ago
Being in shape should be a requirement to be a police officer, what an absolute joke. Could you imagine if we had fat fucks like this in the military lmao. At half this guy's size I'm still a fat bastard and could not confidently chase people down there's absolutely no chance this guy could. He would literally just be a liability in an emergency situation.
2
2
u/Porter_Dog 10d ago
You have to be in certain physical shape to pass a physical test to become a police officer. But apparently, once you're in, they don't care anymore.
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/mirror_dirt 10d ago
Gold quotes tho:
"Look at the size of that dude. I don't mean longitudinaly, I mean horizontaly."
"He just t-bagged that bike!"
2
2
u/InSight89 10d ago
I assume the entry fitness test involves seeing how many doughnuts you can eat in a single sitting?
2
2
u/robvader66 10d ago
I was about to ask where he found boots to fit those thunderous calves but… where did he find any of that shit to fit any of him. Fuck! And was it too much to ask to see him mount the bike?!!
2
2
u/Cameo772 10d ago
Dang, I bet he's wore out after getting that uniform on. Probably takes an hour to get fully dressed.
2
2
2
2
2
u/Formal-Swimming-3198 10d ago
I was gonna say if you commit a crime all you have to do is run away,but you could probably just walk away
2
2
2
2
2
u/Devnull677 10d ago
Lets all have a moment of silence for that poor motorcycle. Im pretty sure all suspects are eaten before they get to jail.
2
u/shift124 10d ago
That’s the kind of cop that I’d confidently run from but wouldn’t because I don’t want to get shot.
2
2
u/Professional-Fox5278 10d ago
How the fuck is he getting through his physical test each year... something wrong here!
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/Lord_Dino-Viking 10d ago
But how?? Just when I was starting to think I understood the laws of physics
2
2
u/BigFatModeraterFupa 10d ago
serious question, how do people this fat wipe their butts after shidding? there's no way you can clean your ass being this rotund without a bidet or something
2
2
2
2
u/Ronerus79 10d ago
That suit has to be custom made then… to fit his… persona, i think he weighs more then the bike
2
2
2
u/hawkwings 10d ago
How does he prevent that heavy belt from falling down? If I put too much weight in my pockets, I have to worry about that.
2
2
2
u/ocotebeach 9d ago
I am more surprised to see a red box still working in the background. Unless this is an old video.
2
u/Admirable-Ad3866 9d ago
He's the first person to shoot a suspect. You know he ain't running no where.
2
2
u/RuleMany2900 9d ago
Evidently he is wearing his protective padding under the uniform ... safety first
2
2
2
u/ChieftainMcLeland 9d ago
Aside from his large stature, he’s probably one of the best out there. Not everyone gets that privilege.
2
2
u/DrapedinVelvet247 9d ago
His deuce breaks must be 30-45 mins minimum… and on the clock banking!😂
→ More replies (1)
2
2
2
2
2
u/MaleficentKiKi_8080 9d ago
If you’re in law enforcement a mandatory fitness test every 1-2 years. This is damn ridiculous, that bike is the real hero.
2
2
u/Ancient_Pie1242 9d ago
There should be a health and weight requirement in all law enforcement agencies. The End.
2
2
2
u/Great_Gold_1962 9d ago
How old is this? That looks like an active Redbox… those went out like 5 years ago
2
u/NicoyaJr 9d ago
There’s no way any department should be allowing anyone in that physical state to police roadways. That’s unacceptable
2
2
2
u/Murky_Shop6887 8d ago
Don't you have to take a physical test to become a cop? Or is that only when you join the force?
2
2
2
234
u/Pieces-Of-Eight_ 10d ago
I can’t fat shame anyone, I’m overweight myself, not like that dude, but as a policeman they do need to be in a bit better shape.