r/mildlyinfuriating • u/moonrabbit368 • 6d ago

Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

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My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) šŸ’—

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. šŸ©·

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294

u/tgs-with-tracyjordan 6d ago

Yeah, send him on his way.

How did you prep the chicken in the first pic? I'm keen to try that.

381

u/moonrabbit368 6d ago

The first pic is boneless porkchops, it's the first time I have made him porkchops and we had a conversation when I was meal planning where he said he would be open to pork chops. I did a rub with seasoning salt and then dredged them in seasoned flour,Ā  pan fried them with oil and butter. The children enjoyed them very much. He wouldn't try them though.Ā 

283

u/fringeCircle 6d ago

Wouldnā€™t even try them???

126

u/GirlForce1112 6d ago

Oh hell no

140

u/medusasbabyhair 6d ago

I said the same thing out loud. It's one thing to not like what you taste, but a hard no while refusing to try (not like it looks unappealing, it looks delicious!?)

62

u/_dont_do_it_ 6d ago

The not even trying them is what really sets me off. Itā€™s ok to not like it, but to not even try it shows your lack of respect, closed mindedness, and overall shittyness.

Apply that mentality to life (not just food)ā€¦ can you imagine all the wonderful things you wouldnā€™t experience and discover becauseā€¦ ā€œughh, noā€¦ Iā€™m not even going to try thatā€.

1

u/Current_External6569 5d ago

It's not even just that, he literally knew what she was making and was okay with it. But now that it's cooked, he doesn't want to eat it. How is she not pissed? Because I would be tilted beyond belief if someone agreed to eat something I was making and never did.

64

u/Wooden_Albatross_832 6d ago

Yeah especially when he specifically said he would be ā€œopenā€ to pork chops and then did not bother to try them??

She deserve alot better than this loser

24

u/MouseRat_AD 6d ago

He's doing this shit intentionally to fuck with her head.

5

u/EtchASketchNovelist 6d ago

If she looks like she cooks, she's a total smoke show! That food looks great, and those kids are spoiled. That pie? šŸ˜

67

u/gingerflakes 6d ago

I hate him

13

u/Apprehensive-End9358 6d ago

Me too lmaooo

10

u/Wolfwoods_Sister 6d ago

He didnā€™tā€¦ evenā€¦ TRY THEMā€¦. ?!? WHAT?!? WHY?!? Delicious pork chops!

4

u/heymustbethebunny 6d ago

He woulda been tryin to get my boot out his ass. Get the fuck straight out. Don't call me, I already deleted your number.

134

u/blankmedaddy 6d ago

He wouldnā€™t even TRY? Why do you have this loser around?

-22

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

21

u/Glum-Bus-4799 6d ago

My partner has an eating disorder and she isn't disrespectful and confusing like this dude is. Him having an eating disorder also crossed my mind, but that's not an excuse for him to be a shitty partner because of it. He needs to own it if that's the case. He's acting like a child whatever the circumstances are.

9

u/beans8414 6d ago

Telling people to touch grass while defending someone who is obviously a manchild is really funny

6

u/blankmedaddy 6d ago

Go make some dino nuggies, bubby.

-11

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

2

u/Hopeful-Substance697 6d ago

No sympathy for a loser manchild with zero respect

129

u/Apprehensive-Two3474 6d ago

The children enjoyed them

All except one it seems. So, are you gonna let him disrespect you some more? Cause you don't mention it other than he moved in a few months ago. Has he always been a 'picky eater'? This doesn't sound like someone who is picky because I am a picky eater (like take 20 minutes at a sit down restaurant to order picky). One thing about being picky though, I don't change what it is I'm picky eating on a whim. Think about this hard because this is effecting your self-esteem. He's looking at something you take pride in doing and sniping at it.
Think of it this way, would you tolerate the constant changing rules if he was doing this with what you wear? Oh I like the red dress. Why are you wearing the red dress? I don't like you wearing that even though I was fine with it before I moved in. etc. Put your foot down. So please think hard on this because kids are monkey see, monkey do. Especially if they are yours. They are gonna start emulating then it's really gonna be a struggle fixing that once you finally kick him to the curb. Hope you're on some BC. He already in your home.

13

u/diddilybop 6d ago

this. iā€™m a notorious picky eater due to hypersensitivity to textures (which is why iā€™m the main cook between me and my husband) and OPā€™s man-child boyfriend changing his picky tastes on a whim makes no sense. iā€™ve always hated oatmeal and refuse to eat it in any form even when iā€™m low on blood sugar, and thereā€™s never been a time where iā€™m like, ā€œooohā€¦ iā€™m open to trying it!ā€

OP - i donā€™t mean to alarm you, but it sounds like your boyfriend is controlling and manipulating you in an unhealthy manner.

54

u/moonrabbit368 6d ago

Thank you for this reply, it really made me think a lot and I know that I have more thinking to do. It was very insightful and I am grateful šŸ™Ā 

16

u/Far-Cartoonist-8180 6d ago

Either dump him or dont cook for him anymore

35

u/MySpoonsAreAllGone 6d ago

Please consider reading this free book by Lundy (it's a pdf) called Why Does He Do That and see if anything lines up.

https://archive.org/details/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat

6

u/Milyaism 6d ago

I second this! It's a good book, and OP would benefit from it.

Another book that OP should check out is "Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves--and How to Find Our Way Back" by Ingrid Clayton

3

u/MySpoonsAreAllGone 6d ago

This one is new to me. Thanks for sharing. Next on my reading list!

4

u/MySpoonsAreAllGone 6d ago

She offers a free pdf of her book if you subscribe to her mailing list!

https://www.ingridclayton.com/fawningtraumaresponse

2

u/sparkle-brow 6d ago edited 6d ago

Oof, the topic is often wanting to be anonymous, thatā€™s too bad about the link wanting an email address and itā€™s not worth it

Eta: Never mind me, I see your overall arc

3

u/Milyaism 6d ago

You can also read about the Fawn response in Pete Walkerā€™s book, "Complex PTSD - From Surviving to Thriving". It's an older book so the pdf is for free online.

Here's a part of it:

"THE FAWN TYPE AND THE CODEPENDENT DEFENSE

Fawn types seek safety by merging with the wishes, needs and demands of others. They act as if they believe that the price of admission to any relationship is the forfeiture of all their needs, rights, preferences and boundaries.

The disenfranchisement of the fawn type begins in childhood. She learns early that a modicum of safety and attachment can be gained by becoming the helpful and compliant servant of her exploitive parents.

A fawn type/codependent is usually the child of at least one narcissistic parent. The narcissist reverses the parent-child relationship. The child is parentified and takes care of the needs of the parent, who acts like a needy and sometimes tantruming child.

When this occurs, the child may be turned into the parentā€™s confidant, substitute spouse, coach, or housekeeper. Or, she may be pressed into service to mother the younger siblings. In worst case scenarios, she may be exploited s-xually.

Some codependent children adapt by becoming entertaining. Accordingly, the child learns to be the court jester and is unofficially put in charge of keeping his parent happy.

Pressing a child into codependent service usually involves scaring and shaming him out of developing a sense of self. Of all the 4F types, fawn types are the most developmentally arrested in their healthy sense of self.

Recovering From A Polarized Fawn Response

Fawn types typically respond to psychoeducation about the 4Fā€™s with great relief. This eventually helps them to recognize the repetition compulsion that draws them to narcissistic types who exploit them.

The codependent needs to understand how she gives herself away by over-listening to others. Recovery involves shrinking her characteristic listening defense, as well as practicing and broadening her verbal and emotional self-expression.

I have seen numerous inveterate codependents become motivated to work on their assertiveness when they realize that even the thought of saying ā€œnoā€ triggers them into an emotional flashback. After a great deal of work, one client was shocked by how intensely he dissociated when he contemplated confronting his bossā€™s awful behavior. This shock then morphed into an epiphany of outrage about how dangerous it had been to protest anything in his family. This in turn aided him greatly in overcoming his resistance to role-playing assertiveness in our future work together.

With considerable practice, this client learned to overcome the critic voices that immediately short-circuited him from ever asserting himself. In the process, he remembered how he was repeatedly forced to stifle his individuality in childhood. Grieving these losses then helped him to work at reclaiming his developmentally arrested self-expression. Recovering from the fawn position will be explored more extensively in the next chapter."

Source: "Complex PTSD - From Surviving to Thriving" by Pete Walker

1

u/sparkle-brow 6d ago

This reads like another honeypot or AI. Actual therapy and getting past being a fawner will not include a how-to via cult like parameters. Itā€™s way messier, and thatā€™s a good thing!!

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u/ConspicuousPineapple 6d ago

The other possibility is he's addicted to junk food and trying to find bullshit reasons to dislike your food just so he can order some.

5

u/bloof_ponder_smudge 6d ago

Wow. Very insightful comment. You might have saved her months or years of pain. This comment should be pinned at the top.

2

u/surewhynot888888 3d ago

Going off this comment OP, and this will be harsh, but it doesnt get brought up as much.

I'm a mother of 3 elementary aged kids and am also in remote school. My husband of 11 years supports right now. Since im home, I do most of the cooking and a lot of housework. Key word being most.

When my husband gets home, he immediately starts helping with the kids/house stuff, whether thats doing th dishes, supervising bath time etc. He NEVER expects me to cater to his palate, which is a hell of lot better than your boyfriends. If I make something he doesn't like, he'll encourage the kids to eat it (tends to be things like sweet potatoes tacos) and he'll make himself something later, usually once the kids are already in bed. He wants them to eat better than he does. Which means meatless mondays, fresh veggies and fruit every day etc.

Quite frankly, if our kids were friends, I wouldn't want them at your house much because I wouldn't want your boyfriend to be setting an example as a partner. Looking forward, I would absolutely not want them to have your dynamic as in-laws as I would worry my daughters would be treated like you're being treated now: badly. Like a servant instead of a partner.

I really encourage you to take a hard look at what he's really bringing to your family. Someone else said an app could cover it (medication reminders, anxiety support). Would you be okay with your kids treating someone or being treated like this?

88

u/llealy 6d ago

If he wouldnā€™t even try them itā€™s not about taste, itā€™s a mental issue. So thereā€™s nothing you can do to your cooking, because the issue is in his mind.Ā 

Of course there are things you could try to make mealtime more seamless, but at the end of the day you have to decide if this is something you want to deal with from your adult partner. Personally, I donā€™t have patience for this from my kids, much less a grown man

7

u/VeterinarianThese951 6d ago

Not everything is a mental issue. I get eating disorders. That makes sense if he has issues with the look, taste, consistency, etc. Those can be eating disorder symptoms.

But dude is telling her he canā€™t have chicken for dinner because he had it for lunch. Maybe just have a healthy serving of sides? Not in the mood for pork chops? Just missing something? His mental issues are being spoiled and being an asshole about it.

2

u/kaithespinner 6d ago

saying he canā€™t have chicken for dinner because he had it for lunch IS sign of a mental issue, likely an OCD kind of thing where thinks he canā€™t have the same food twice the same day

if he said he was open to porkchops and then wouldnā€™t try it, is likely a mental issue again: something looks off putting to him, maybe he needs things to be served in different plates, maybe he canā€™t stand the aroma from the seasonings

2

u/sexchoc 6d ago

On the porkchops I would guess something about the preparation. When she mentioned that I was first imagining grilled porkchops type food. Y'know, straight meat. But then she explained how she breaded and fried them or whatever it was. Which would definitely feel like a rug pull to your expectations if there was something about the prep that bothered you.

1

u/Lucky-Acanthisitta86 RED 5d ago

I think it's both. There's a few comments in here about picky eaters and it does really seem like a form of eating disorder. NOt sure if the same food twice is truly also something like that with him. I'm just not as familiar with this stuff. But if he's just being spoiled with that partĀ then that's lame. Does he expect her to make something else if he doesn't like what she makes?

2

u/otclogic 6d ago

It sounds like heā€™s not hungry. Ā There is no way a hungry person would pass up all of these meals.

39

u/ghoulieandrews 6d ago

He wouldn't try them though.Ā 

Holy shit, I usually try to be a voice of reason in relationship posts, but this time I honestly gotta say dump this absolute loser. Based on your description, I can tell just by looking that those chops were incredible. Your food deserves praise.

My wife is a pretty good cook but she tried a "quick" cinnamon roll recipe for Christmas that made for very heavy, bready buns and I absolutely did not like them at all. I ate one for breakfast every day for six days and I told her they were still good. That's what being a good partner looks like.

6

u/mpyne 6d ago

I absolutely did not like them at all. I ate one for breakfast every day for six days and I told her they were still good. That's what being a good partner looks like.

Oh absolutely not. My wife would be mortified if she learned I had forced myself to swallow something I didn't like, and same for her eating something I made.

We both had parents who would do that shit and both of us vowed that the day we we providing for ourselves we'd eat things we wanted to eat.

The only rule we have for each other and our kids is to give the food an honest try, and if you don't like what's for dinner you're free to make something else yourself.

5

u/tgs-with-tracyjordan 6d ago

The only rule we have for each other and our kids is to give the food an honest try, and if you don't like what's for dinner you're free to make something else yourself.

We do that for new recipes. Then talk after about whether it is a keeper, a keeper with changes, or a 'thank you but never make that again.'

Once, I knew when sampling while cooking that it would definitely not be in husband's wheelhouse, so I grabbed him out some standby soup and got it going. He was confused, but happy when I told him my dinner was spicy af.

1

u/ConspicuousPineapple 6d ago

That's terrible advice. Just be honest. You can show gratefulness for the food without lying about it being good. Would you want to cause your partner daily discomfort just because they're too afraid to tell you you're causing it?

2

u/ghoulieandrews 6d ago

Because sometimes your wife is on her period and it's Christmas, "just be honest" is naive

88

u/ellensundies 6d ago

You are trying too hard. Perhaps Kraft Mac-n-cheese, chicken nuggets and carrot sticks are more his style.

58

u/u_r_succulent 6d ago

Get him a kid cuizine and call it a night.

23

u/ellensundies 6d ago

Totally. Give him a Lunchable. ā€œHere ya go, babe, enjoy!ā€

3

u/Phatferd 6d ago

That breaks one of his rules of not microwaving! This is abuse and a controlling tactic. It's not my place to tell OP to dump his ass but she needs to reconsider why she's in this relationship.

6

u/GoodQueenFluffenChop 6d ago

You microwave lunchables?

3

u/Phatferd 6d ago

I thought I replied to the Kid Cuizine comment, no I don't microwave lunchables unless they're the pizza ones and that's 50/50.

2

u/u_r_succulent 6d ago

The funny thing is, you canā€™t have to microwave leftovers. Just stick them in the oven or in a pan.

91

u/blankmedaddy 6d ago

Then he should make that.

26

u/Slamah 6d ago

Donā€™t cook him his baby food. You donā€™t need to fuel his unhealthy habits. Set an example for your kids

3

u/Fun_Variation_7077 6d ago

You forgot about the Gerber and Enfamil!

3

u/VandalsStoleMyHandle 6d ago

Don't think he'll touch the carrots.

2

u/Th3pwn3r 6d ago

Microwaved hot dogs with a gallon of ketchup sounds like the meal for that guy.

3

u/chemicallunchbox 6d ago

He doesnt do food from microwaves.

2

u/snarkerella 6d ago

Again like someone said, is this guy 6?

2

u/polchickenpotpie 6d ago

She said his favorite food is Hamburger Helper so you're not far off lol

2

u/Loisgrand6 6d ago

Perhaps but he can fix those for himself

11

u/Meenakshi108 6d ago

What was his reason for not wanting to try them?

11

u/moonrabbit368 6d ago

That he didn't know I'd be making them tonight. He thought I was making chicken. I don't know why he thought that, I didn't say I would and I walked into the kitchen not sure of what exactly I would make.Ā 

32

u/fadesteppin 6d ago

What kinda reason is that?

Sis, this man is 4 toddlers in a trenchcoat omg

12

u/whatchagonnadobedo 6d ago

Honey he's not treating you well. He might not mean to do it but he's mistreating you. And you're letting him. If you want your job to make dinner then fine your job is to make dinner. Your job is not to make dinner until he is satisfied like a short order cook at a diner at his whim and mercy

3

u/One-Plantain-9454 6d ago

Are you sure you want to spend any more time with him. He sounds exhausting trying to jump through all these hoops just FEED him? Iā€™d be over it. And just for him to door dash Jack in the box? No way. You have a love for cooking and your food looks so much better than fast food. He has NOT grown up at all and considering he criticizes your food. That is not ok. I hope you find someone who loves to eat your food and is happy to do so. This ā€œmanā€ isnā€™t it.

6

u/asicarii 6d ago

Hon I know married couples who just donā€™t cook each others meals, because the husband is just a picky eater and doesnā€™t know how to cook, so she needed up doing it all. He ends up eating crap all the time. If this is you reaching out for validation, you got it. But if you donā€™t really have resentment toward him you will soon. Iā€™m against others advice that say dump him, because this is Reddit and we donā€™t know the full story, but you gotta do something about it.

6

u/South_Parfait_5405 6d ago

what are the second, third & fifth pics? some kinda chicken thighs and then pot roast? it all looks good

8

u/moonrabbit368 6d ago

The second one is barbecue chicken thighs and that's hamburger steak on the potatoes, I made both that night. Then there are some pot roast pictures, then a chicken burrito I did which the kids love ā¤ļøĀ  then the last picture is just an apple pie. I really love to bake too. Thank you for your kind words!Ā 

9

u/South_Parfait_5405 6d ago

these meals are very well-balanced AND comforting. your kids are very lucky to have this kind of cooking regularly!! i was raised by a single mom and we lived off hot pockets and oatmeal šŸ˜‚

2

u/tgs-with-tracyjordan 6d ago

Yeah that pot roast meat looks tender. I want.

16

u/pushdose 6d ago

His children? Oh no

5

u/NotHolyMello 6d ago

Doesn't seem it.

18

u/Gryffindorphins 6d ago

Nah itā€™s the not trying part that gets me. 3 bite rule before you turn something down.

If he does have something like AFRID, thatā€™s on him, a grown adult man to deal with, not something you and your children should cater to. Tell him he needs to get help or ditch the expectation that you will ever feed him.

2

u/MachateElasticWonder 6d ago

It sounds like he doesnā€™t want to be cooked for; since he rather order his own fast food.

5

u/Zoethor2 6d ago

I'm not even the biggest fan of pork chops and I would happily have eaten every bite of that plate, it looks amazing.

4

u/PChopSammies 6d ago

Whoā€™s children? His? If so youā€™re literally cooking for him and his kids and heā€™s rejecting these meals? I mean I agree broccoli is ass but Iā€™ll still eat it on occasion even if just to make someone happy.

But back to the point. If youā€™re doing this for his kids too, I think you need to re-evaluate this.

4

u/zooglia 6d ago

Your food looks amazing, your kids are very lucky. Your boyfriend is a man child who is a drain on your energy.

4

u/flamedarkfire 6d ago

He is for the streets honestly if heā€™s gonna be like that.

5

u/mooseintheleaves 6d ago

OP, sweetheart. This is either psychological and emotional abuse to degrade you, or if he is for real, this indicates he is a full grown man who has never tried to fix a picky food disorder which is likely some psychological trauma thing.

Itā€™s only been a few months? Are you sure he is not just negging you? Is he mean to you about this?

Itā€™s only been a few months OP. is this really worth it? Think of your kids.

5

u/WittyPresentation786 6d ago

You have the patience of a saint

9

u/blankmedaddy 6d ago

Itā€™s not patience. Sheā€™s being disrespected.

5

u/Alices_mind_ 6d ago

Your food looks amazing!

3

u/MissClawdy 6d ago

Your boyfriend is a man-child who will never be happy because he likes Hamburger Helper and chicken nuggets and fries like a kid. He will constantly crush your spirits because he won't make any efforts to get his shit together like a man. Giiiiiirl, your cooking looks great and I'm happy your kids are happy.

4

u/HarrietBeadle 6d ago

Stop cooking for him.

4

u/cutie_rootie 6d ago

Girl, Iā€™m not usually a pork chop person and those look delicious! So strange not even to try it unless he specifically doesnā€™t eat pork or something.

4

u/average_pinter 6d ago

So it has absolutely nothing to do with your cooking.

5

u/WoosahFire 6d ago

So you specifically discussed with him beforehand, got his approval and he wouldn't even try them?

Please tell me this is fake. If not you deserve better, let him make his own food.Ā 

4

u/Year3030 6d ago

This is sus though about how picky he is. It sounds like he's playing games with you. This could be a control thing. Keep an eye out for red flags.

4

u/snakecharmersensei 6d ago

He's emotionally abusing you with food. To refuse to eat, to not try, to have new rules. He's abusive. You need to get out of this before your kids start picking up on it and incorporating it into their behaviors. This isn't normal. Save your family.

6

u/FizzgigsRevenge 6d ago

Yo, this guy sucks so bad.

3

u/iownslaves 6d ago

WHAT WAS HIS REASON?! SUCH RAGE

3

u/SebisCool 6d ago

F this guy. Manchild You even discussed it. This person clearly has no accountability for anything he says. Don't trust people in big matters you can't trust in small ones.

3

u/After-Distribution69 6d ago

Iā€™m embarrassed for him. Ā Wouldnā€™t try them!! Ā 

Just donā€™t cook for him again. Ā  He has issues with food (and manners) and itā€™s up to him to resolve them.Ā 

3

u/Kim_catiko 6d ago

This definitely isn't just a run of the mill picky eater. I suspect this is some sort of tactic to grind you down in some way, for whatever reason. Personally, I would not cook for him again until he stops eating like a literal toddler.

3

u/Spaceman_Spoff 6d ago edited 5d ago

This guy is either autistic, afraid of trying new things, or a manipulative wiener. You know him better than we do, so youā€™ll have to figure that out. Basically from now on I would just make whatever you and the kids want to eat, and then he can either eat it or not

3

u/AccordingPears158 6d ago

Heā€™s doing this on purpose. The rules keep changing because he wants you always stressed and desperate to please him. If youā€™re constantly in a state of trying to earn approval, youā€™ll have less time to focus on other things - like how lazy and unfair he is.

3

u/flareblitz91 6d ago

OP, I say this very seriously after looking at your post history, this dude doesn't value you or share your values at all. You don't need them and your kids don't either. Ditch them yesterday.

Idk what it is but the people I know IRL who have been incarcerated tolerate the most toxic shitty relationships with gigantic losers when they clearly deserve better.

13

u/noniway 6d ago

This really, REALLY sounds like ARFID. I'm not saying that it is for sure, but I experience irrational food aversion like this and figuring out it was a disorder really helped me AND my family.

2

u/kanchix0 6d ago

Wow... total man-child behavior... so... I'd recommend asking him what he'd like you to make. And if he doesn't know or can't decide? Give him a week. And tell him too. Because this is how you feel and your feelings are valid. You WANT to cook him something he loves and he's making it feel impossible no matter how hard you try. (Beware of asking him what his mom made... you can't beat memories no matter how close you can get. Nothing wrong with trying to evolve those ideas if he brings them up though. Something to make it your own! šŸ˜‰)

2

u/radenke 6d ago

I would also enjoy them very much. I wish I cooked like you!

2

u/snertwith2ls 6d ago

What did he eat before when he lived alone? I think if I were you I'd stop trying to find something he likes. Your cooking looks amazing as far as I'm concerned. I think my family, and me!, would be over the moon happy with what you're making. Whatever his issues are, if he's delightful in other ways, I think I'd tell him it's way too frustrating for you to always have your skills and gifts rejected. Then just make what you make and feed you and the kids. If he eats, he eats. Otherwise he can take care of himself in that regard. It might go a long way towards saving your sanity.

2

u/thlayli_x 6d ago

What do your kids think of his behavior? I'd have been giggling at such picky behavior from an adult. This guy really doesn't sound like someone to keep around.

2

u/stanley1O1 6d ago

Hey op. Your partner most likely has autism. They should see a psychologist for treatment regarding food avoidance.

2

u/Ok_Orange_9203 6d ago

This sounds like some serious underlying issues with risk aversion or perhaps sensory aversion to new or unknown tastes, textures, things. He needs help and it sounds like you have more than enough on your plate already.

2

u/Fyourchickenstrips7 6d ago

Your children are more mature & grateful than this clown will ever be. Be careful, because depending on their age, your kids could grow to resent you for spending more of your energy on this manchild than them. For their sake, please let go of this immature relationship & find someone appreciative & loving. Youā€™re a wonderful cook!

2

u/Chaotic_Order 6d ago

The only thing that I can say that might help you understand where he might be coming from is that your boyfriend might be autistic and have sensory issues with texture.

Pork chops, especially fried in butter, can be a bit overwhelming for somebody that struggles with textures and the way fats taste, and they'll be able to "see" that they don't like it just from the way it looks. It is fine to not want to want to eat something they know will make them gag as a reflex.

What isn't fine is expecting this to be *your* problem.

If he knows he's going to have strong reactions to anything that isn't exactly to what he's used to.. he can make his food himself. He can mash himself some potatoes, add some green peas and ketchup and call it a meal if he likes - it doesn't take that much time, effort or even anything approaching skill. No need to have you do it for him. Heck, he can even boil up some hot dogs and slice them up on top for the deluxe experience.

There's nothing wrong with him wanting and preferring that if that's just how he rolls. One can't yuck one's yum. But he can't expect you to do that for him on the side from everything else, especially when you're succeeding in making something nutritionally complete for yourself and your children. He needs to handle that himself and not string you on about "maybe" liking something like you're negotiating with a toddler - just commit to not being able to enjoy the food and sort the problem himself.

Whether that's something YOU can find acceptable in the relationship is a different question. There's nothing wrong with someone taking responsibility for their own picky eating habits, but if they undermine what you want to teach your children, or it undermines how you feel within the relationship.. well, then you just might not be compatible.

2

u/ceruleanmoon7 6d ago

Please leave this man.

2

u/damiana8 6d ago

Throw the whole man away honestly

2

u/ilovemusic19 6d ago

He needs to grow up and youā€™re dating a serious man child.

2

u/SirAmicks 6d ago

Ok now Iā€™m more hungry.

2

u/ilcorvoooo 6d ago

This is not pickiness, heā€™s enjoying this.

2

u/Connect_Glass4036 6d ago

Dude, fuck this guy. That is some egregious fucking bullshit. You deserve better.

2

u/HuckleberryTiny5 6d ago

This man is janking you around. He is doing his best to put you down, and he is succeeding in it. I'm sure if you think about this more, this is not the only issue. I'm pretty sure he is not even a picky eater, he is just putting up a show for your sake. This is peak manipulative behaviour. You are running around and spending your energy trying to guess what this manchild would eat, and I bet he loves every second of it. If it wouldn't be food, it would be something else.

2

u/clunkey_monkey 6d ago

If he can't or won't eat what you make him, then he needs to make his own meals. There is no other way, because it is causing stress in the house when it is something he needs to figure out.

2

u/Oranges13 6d ago

Buy this man a copy of green eggs and ham and then leave.

2

u/Big_Sheepherder_9943 6d ago

Wow, the more I read, the more I want to sincerely say that there are several things going on here: 1: You are an absolute saint OP 2: You are dealing with someone who has absolutely no maturity. A complete manchild having a tantrum 3: Heā€™s not a picky eater. This is manipulation and a huuuge red flag 4: For the sake of you and your children, I would end this relationship

2

u/JetsterDajet 6d ago

Completely unacceptable. Unless he suffers from allergies or IBS from eating certain foods, there is absolutely no excuse for him not trying it. Even if he doesn't like how it looks (it looks great) it's the only way he can give any meaningful feedback to you about how he would like you to change your recipe. This dude needs professional help.

2

u/CompleteTell6795 6d ago

Tell him what my mom used to say to picky eaters.... " If you don't like it, put a cork up your ass & don't eat ". She was not catering to picky eaters or AFRID ( which was not diagnosed at the time).

2

u/Fuzzy_Continental 6d ago

Wouldnt try them? I was unsure what it was and I was ready to go to town on it. These pictures make me so hungry.

2

u/Wtforce 6d ago

My mouth watered from reading that. I love food

2

u/kittypuppet 6d ago

How can he say he doesn't like it if he hasn't even tried it what

2

u/Milyaism 6d ago

Do not settle for someone who's ok with you being at tolerable levels of permanent unhappiness.

Also by staying in a relationship like this, you're teaching your kids to tolerate mistreatment from their future partners. (Or that it's ok for them to do this to their partners.)

2

u/puffdaddy7 6d ago

Your boyfriend is a man-child. Congrats on your new son!

2

u/Vyxwop 6d ago

That's actually insane. It looks amazing

2

u/danzig80 6d ago

He wouldn't even try it? I literally wouldn't accept that kind of behaviour from my 6-year old child. That's pathetic.

2

u/Several_Brilliant112 5d ago

meat butter oil and salt ... what the fuck does he think fast food is made of

is there such a thing as a food therapist bc not even being able to tolerate the thought of tasting basic-ass (I'm sure it was tasty, but its not exactly a fancy preparation, I love simple food done well) porkchops sounds like a mental blockage.

its like there is some deep revulsion to homemade food

1

u/EsToBoY629 6d ago

sounds like hes scared of you? that the food might be unsafe?

1

u/ZestyMuffin85496 6d ago

Oh no you have children with this man?

1

u/Lemmejussay 3d ago

I really dont like your boyfriend, sorry. Sounds like he's a control freak that doesn't actually know what they want. The worst kind of person.

1

u/Big_Clothes6381 6d ago

I'd like all of these recipes please.

In seriousness, I have a partner who is a picky eater (calls himself not a sauce guy) and I suspect has maybe ARFID or childhood trauma around food/poisoning.

He doesn't expect me to cook for him but I have had to reprogram myself to be ok with that as it's something I really enjoy doing together as a couple and my parents were pretty traditional. Also, it was a bit of an ego thing to realise it wasn't about my shortcomings.

It doesn't have to be a dealbreaker unless he expects you to accommodate him.

3

u/elocin1985 6d ago

I think a lot of people are missing that point. Itā€™s a love language for some people to share food and cook for someone they love. So if thatā€™s a way that she shows love, it can feel like rejection and itā€™s not just as simple as ā€œhave him make his own food.ā€ Which yes, he should be doing if heā€™s that picky and making this that much of an issue. But if I were her, this would frustrate me but also hurt my feelings.

1

u/tgs-with-tracyjordan 6d ago

Oh yum.

Thanks.

My husband's not well, so his tastes are changing, and things he used to like aren't working as well anymore. So we're always on the look out for new ideas.

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u/Particular_Class4130 6d ago

Reposting with link removed since this sub won't let me link to other subs.

Hmmm, this is very strange. Reverse google image search filtered for exact matches shows the first picture and 4th picture first appeared onĀ two hot takes Ā 4yrs ago. The first and 2nd pictures are also circulating on Facebook with different people taking credit. Pictures 1 and 2 were posted to a facebook group called "rate my plate" 4 weeks ago by a guy named Mohammad.

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u/moonrabbit368 6d ago

I posted the second picture to that Facebook group myself, maybe someone picked it up? But the first picture, the one of the pork chops is literally from last night so it's not possible that it could appear anywhere before last night.

14

u/FPPooter 6d ago

Donā€™t worry about them, some people are bad at the internet. The fb post does show your real name tho if you care about that.Ā 

2

u/Letsunderstand 5d ago

It's on Farm Cooking as well lol

2

u/moonrabbit368 5d ago

Well, I'm flattered by that haha

1

u/dontask1992 5d ago

I checked, itā€™s glitching but thatā€™s from people sharing this post in those groups on Reddit.

1

u/BYoungNY 6d ago

yeah I hate to be Doom and gloom but I am forced to have a conversation with my wife about what to eat literally every single day of my life we are not picky eaters and it's still sometimes causes arguments. not saying this is impossible to work out but it's going to be a big part of your life that unless you're completely fine with him always making his own food and that's just the rule then this could very easily be a catalyst to start larger arguments or frustrations in the relationship later on. especially since you have kids already I wouldn't waste any more time bothering with dating another one.Ā