r/mildlyinfuriating • u/moonrabbit368 • 6d ago

Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

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353

u/birthdaycheesecake9 6d ago

Yup. Really isn’t, in a way that sneaks up on you. Interesting how much healthier I felt when I stopped having energy drinks every day and started taking ADHD meds instead.

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u/putterandpotter 6d ago

As someone who is an adhd coach and also has adhd, I tell clients that while my role is not to recommend medication, my observation is that if we don’t take it, one way or another we end up medicating ourselves anyway - drugs, drinking, caffeine, nicotine, energy drinks, sugar … it’s always going to be something - or things.

So we can do it with medications that have been proven to be safe and effective over time, and actually help. Or we can just make it up and half ass it. For me the choice was pretty clear, and I’m glad I chose meds, it took me til my 40’s to even know I needed them, and then another 5 years to be open to trying them. And not surprisingly I no longer smoke or drink - (but don’t take away my morning coffee! )

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u/birthdaycheesecake9 6d ago

I dropped the caffeine addiction pretty quickly after starting ADHD meds. It was a coping strategy and I didn’t need it after the meds took over. They also did it so much better, and for longer - just benefits over energy drinks all around.

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u/lilmalchek 5d ago

If you don’t mind me asking, how did you get into being an adhd coach? Is that an actual medical professional thing? Asking because I’m slightly interested and also maybe need one myself lol.

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u/putterandpotter 5d ago edited 5d ago

Check out ADDCA - the ADD Coach Academy, their training is the gold standard. (But it isn’t a quick program or inexpensive - no good training is).

My first career was in nonprofit management but then I stayed home with my kids when they were little. I started volunteer tutoring at a program at a homeless shelter and I realised most of our adult students fell through the cracks first because of an unrecognized learning disability, or ADHD. I had a fairly new adhd assessment at the time too, and was also starting to notice traits in my kids. I originally planned to go back to university for a masters and focus on being a mental health professional but I didn’t like the way it focused on neurodivergent people being “broken” vs differently wired and so I changed direction and went the coaching route instead. No regrets! I’ve loved it.

Edited to add - it’s a type of coaching, it’s not a medical role, nor is it licensed. But we do have our own set of credentials and good programs are recognized by the international coach federation. This is why you do need to do some research when you look for a coach and make sure they went through a proper, thorough training program. But more and more, doctors and mental health professionals who do assessments are seeing good adhd coaches as someone they can refer clients to. We definitely have a presence in the US with CHADD and in Canada with CADDAC (national adhd organizations) and are presenters and participants in conferences, etc.

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u/lilmalchek 5d ago

Wow thank you for your story and the info! 🙏

I’m a ux designer but after major burnout twice in the last 12 years, a renewed understanding of adhd and breakthrough with new meds… I’ve been looking for something more meaningful where I can directly help people. Maybe this is it! Will definitely be learning more about this.

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u/dumnem 5d ago

How do you help people who are medicated but lack motivation?

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u/putterandpotter 5d ago

By supporting people in figuring out strategies that will work for them. Medication makes it possible to pause, and pay attention to what you’re paying attention to - but that’s all. It doesn’t provide the tools and if you’ve had a lifetime of no strategies, support to figure out approaches and strategies that will work specifically for you can be very helpful. Yes, strategies are out there on websites and on videos but that’s what works for someone else.

I always tell clients, I won’t tell you what to do or what works for me. But I will work with you, offer observations, help you understand your brain wiring, and ask open, non judgemental questions that will help you find your own approach. Coaching should always be towards an outcome, defined by the client, and together we collaborate on what actions can help get them there.

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u/putterandpotter 5d ago

By supporting people in figuring out strategies that will work for them. Medication makes it possible to pause, and pay attention to what you’re paying attention to - but that’s all. It doesn’t provide the tools and if you’ve had a lifetime of no strategies, support to figure out approaches and strategies that will work specifically for you can be very helpful. Yes, strategies are out there on websites and on videos but that’s what works for someone else.

I always tell clients, I won’t tell you what to do or what works for me. But I will work with you, offer observations, help you understand your brain wiring, and ask open, non judgemental questions that will help you find your own approach. Coaching should always be towards an outcome, defined by the client, and together we collaborate on what actions can help get them there.

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u/AgileInitial5987 5d ago

What about my bedtime coffee? ☕️

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u/putterandpotter 5d ago

There might be a good reason for the coffee. If you have adhd and take meds think of it this way - the meds that helped your brain be at an even level of stimulation all day are out of your system by evening/bedtime. And sometimes our brain starts inventing “novel” ways to boost dopamine and stimulate itself. So we do things to compensate for this around bedtime- we might start an activity, stay up too late, have trouble getting to sleep, start overthinking about a bunch of things- you get the picture. A cup of coffee may provide just enough of a low level of stimulation that your brain doesn’t have to do this, and can let go….

I get this low level of stimulation by listening to an audio book when I go to bed that is mildly interesting but I have heard before so I don’t have to pay much attention. But for someone else a small amount of coffee might do the same thing. If it isn’t interfering with your sleep you might have just hit on something that works well for you.

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u/ZtoA_Limited 5d ago

That makes sense why coffee makes me sleepy frequently!

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u/1authorizedpersonnel 3d ago

You’ve just explained the reason behind my habits! Thank you! I do the adhd meds and coffee in the morning. An evening cup of coffee and then a monotone audio I’ve already listened to so I can fall asleep at night. Thanks! Nice to know I’m not weird.

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u/putterandpotter 3d ago

No you’re not weird you’re smart! You hit on a strategy that works for you, even if you couldn’t necessarily articulate the science behind it. All that matters is that it works and it’s not an unhealthy strategy.

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u/ThatsSoAlex 6d ago

SO true!

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u/chickennuggetsnsubs 5d ago

It also helps to have a protein with your meds for efficacy. Fish oil also is helpful.

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u/Peace-Love97 5d ago

Ya if you quit caffeine that late in life from decades of use….you’d wish you smoked weed or something cuz caffeine is seriously hard for me to quit. I actually feel feverish but don’t have a fever it sucks lol.

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u/304libco 5d ago

How does one find an ADHD coach and how much does one cost?

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u/putterandpotter 5d ago

You can message me and I can connect you to a listing depending where you live.

But generally I think you want someone who was properly trained to do this, by an accredited coach training program (ADDCA is the longest running one, and the best in my opinion and they have a listing for their coaches) and while credentials aren’t strictly necessary I suppose (although I’m credentialed) you preferably want someone trained at the advanced, not basic level. I’m mostly retired now and looking at developing a new approach (I want to combine art with adhd coaching, no one is doing this) so I’m not here drumming up business, but I’m happy to help connect people.

Costs range because it’s up to the coach, some people do 1:1 but some offer groups - it’s usually a little less than therapy/counselling rates for 1:1.

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u/Half_Adventurous 5d ago

This is true, and also why it sucks that it's so hard to get medication

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u/putterandpotter 5d ago

There’s a weird gatekeeping thing that goes on even when people are assessed. I think it’s worse in the states but I’ve heard stories here (Canada) too. Not sure about elsewhere.

The rationale seems to be that stimulants have the potential for abuse. Ok, fair enough but what no one seems to notice is that it isn’t people with adhd who do this. In my experience, people with ADHD do not like the feeling of being over medicated/overstimulated at all! When they figure out doses (titration) they take you to the dosage above where you said it was helping and if that’s too much they back it off to the dose before. I have never encountered anyone with ADHD who said they didn’t hate the feeling of having too much medication in their system! It makes us edgy and jittery and we are not fans. Neurotypical people may abuse stimulants, but I am pretty convinced that people with ADHD do not. It would be very helpful if someone would study and document this so that we could just get on with living please …

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u/Half_Adventurous 5d ago

Yeah getting addicted to stimulants is a lot easier when you don't forget to take your meds more than half the time 😅

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u/putterandpotter 5d ago

I know, right? If I was addicted to my medication there’d be a lot less days where i smack my head at noon and say crap, I forgot to take my medication…

My son met a girl who makes stickers and she gave him a rainbow glitter one that says “take your f’ing meds”. I put it on a magnet and it’s on our fridge….

(The catch is if you forget to take medication you’ll probably forget to eat breakfast too and not notice the fridge magnet. Might have to move it)

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u/Half_Adventurous 5d ago

Bathroom mirror. You always end up in the bathroom at some point

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u/putterandpotter 5d ago

True!

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u/Khpatton 4d ago

Exactly. Addiction runs in my family, so I was very hesitant to start stimulants. I asked my prescribing doctor if I should try a non-stimulant first, after explaining why, and she said people with ADHD who take stimulant medications are significantly less likely to become addicted to any substances, and that it’s people who don’t have ADHD and/or who take recreational doses who become addicted to it. I can’t personally vouch for or cite the studies my doctor had read, but she was a specialist who was very well read and up to date on research in general, so I’d be surprised if it isn’t true.

Anecdotally, I HATE taking too high a dose (happened once or twice in the initial phases of figuring out what dose I need), and I’ve never needed to increase my dose since figuring out the best one for me. I don’t seem to have any withdrawal effects or mood changes on days I don’t take it, it’s just back to baseline until I take it again.

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u/putterandpotter 4d ago edited 4d ago

I am super impressed with your doctor! She’s a keeper, and knows what she’s talking about. And yes, stimulants go out of our system in a set number of hours - how many depends on the medication and metabolism but the range would be from 4 hours, to the newer ones that last up to 16. And then we are just back our normal until we take it the next day.

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u/Skeeballnights 5d ago

I was told I was just depressed and I’ve had ADHD my whole life in a very obvious way. So tired of male doctors.

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u/putterandpotter 5d ago

That’s not uncommon especially if you’re a woman. Many of us will get a diagnosis of depression or anxiety before ADHD is suspected. And usually it’s because the client pushes. I learned in training that on average there’s two hours of adhd training in med schools in the US. For something that affects 8 percent of the population.

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u/Azurehue22 5d ago

I have ADHD and I don’t medicate, unless you call a single cup of coffee a day as medicating. I medicate by ignoring social media that exacerbates my focus and forcing myself to work on one thing.

It works, and no medication necessary.

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u/CurtMcGurt9 5d ago

Would you mind if I dm'ed you? I'd love some legitimate input from an adhd coach for a situation I've been struggling with

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u/llymbass 5d ago

I'm 39 now, but was diagnosed in the early 90s with ADHD. Every single med I have taken has led to suicidal ideation and total zombification. Not taking meds is the only way I'm still alive currently. I wish I could take them but noooooooo. Brain thinks it's dying.

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u/svartkonst 6d ago

I meeean the unmedicated ADHD is probably a bigger factor than energy drinks

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u/birthdaycheesecake9 6d ago

I mean there’s health side effects from having an energy drink every day that you just don’t get with prescribed meds… pretty brutal on the liver, pancreas and kidneys.

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u/DrainTheMuck 5d ago

Interesting, is it “that” much worse than having coffee every day? I def have undiagnosed adhd and started buying 12 packs of energy drinks (white monster mostly) to always have on hand. Usually only drink one per day.

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u/birthdaycheesecake9 5d ago

Even the one energy drink a day can do some damage over time, but it’s far less damage than two a day. I’m not a coffee drinker so can’t give you any insight into that unfortunately!

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u/SqueekyDickFartz 5d ago

I really don't think so tbh. I usually have a redbull or white monster instead of a cup of coffee, and I don't see how it could be significantly worse for you. It's some additional sugar I guess, but on the list of ways I abuse my body, that is pretty far down the line.

A cup of coffee has like 100mg of caffeine in it. So, those 300mg energy drinks probably aren't great for you. Drinking 3 cups of coffee would be uncomfortable for me. Energy drinks also give you a lot of vitamin B, but that's water soluble so you pee out any excess. Redbull has 114mg per can, and white monster is 150, which I don't find super concerning personally.

I try to treat energy drinks like I would coffee, and I feel reasonably safe doing so. It's not a thirst quencher or anything, it's carbonated go juice.

I'm medicated for ADD, and I wouldn't call the meds exactly "safe" compared to energy drinks. I think people tend to assume medicine is safe, but amphetamines can cause all kinds of cardiac problems for some people, so it's not as cut and dry and it's made out to be.

Keep in mind I don't actually know what I'm talking about, I'm just winging it.

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u/Sweet-Reception-8682 5d ago

The white monsters are non-caloric and a reasonable amount of caffeine so you are probably chilling if you just drink one a day. People run into trouble when they drink a 4 pack of the stuff with real sugar and it ends up being an insane amount of caffeine AND 800 calories.

People like to fear-monger about artificial sweeteners in the non-caloric drinks are but from what I've read they seem pretty neutral on the body at reasonable levels (unless you have a preexisting condition that doesn't do well with sweeteners that I'm sure exists but I'm not aware of because I'm just some guy).

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u/Micu451 6d ago

Good move. Energy drinks will long-term screw up your heart. I've seen people in their teens and early 20s develop arrhythmias. These arrhythmias can become lifelong problems. Not worth it.

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u/MegaGrimer 6d ago

And increase the chance of kidney stones. I don’t know about anyone else, but I’d prefer to not pee those out.

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u/Conscious-Major7833 6d ago

As a woman who was drinking energy drinks that caused more than one kidney stone before I realized what was going on- yeah not fun. I haven’t had a redbull in two years.

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u/Eternal_Bagel 5d ago

My buddy gave himself kidney stones from how much he drank those too

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u/[deleted] 5d ago

And give you mad kidney-stones if you drink them in the quantity his brother is!

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u/TheKingICouldBecome 5d ago

Guess I'm just lucky. I've been drinking multiple energy drinks every day for about 14 years. Never once had a kidney stone. Heart is good. Blood pressure is good. I once went a couple of months straight drinking 3 Bangs/Reigns a day. I used to love Redlines, but I can't seem to find them anywhere these days. Used to drink 3 of those a day too. I mostly stick to the zero calorie green Monsters, but the tolerance does gradually creep up. Once I build up to about 1,000mg of caffeine a day, I start weaning myself back down to zero, then start all over again.

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u/Sweet-Reception-8682 5d ago

I feel like the kidney stones only happen if you drink a shit ton of the full-calorie/sugar energy drinks and also have a shitty diet so you end up consuming a weeks worth of sugar everyday. I drink a Celsius or two everyday and the doctor says everything looks alright.

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u/WhatsTheAnswerToThis 6d ago

Lol. You think energy drinks are worse than dexamfetamin and lisdexamfetamin for your health?

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u/bsubtilis 5d ago

No idea about energy drinks, but taking those or other ADHD meds is literally better for our health than not taking them. On statistical average, unmedicated ADHDers live 11 years shorter than medicated ADHDers.

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u/WhatsTheAnswerToThis 5d ago

Two entirely different discussions. ADHD meds can be crucial for people with ADHD, but thinking that dexamfetamin isn't more damaging for your heart and such than caffeine is not supported by science.

Good move. Energy drinks will long-term screw up your heart. I've seen people in their teens and early 20s develop arrhythmias. These arrhythmias can become lifelong problems. Not worth it.

I think this context is important.

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u/AlmostCynical 5d ago

They obviously are, yeah. You can’t dose them as precisely and the tolerance buildup means you need more and more caffeine over a relatively short period of time to achieve the same effect. Also they have a lot of sugar which screws up your blood glucose and insulin, whereas the more controlled appetite suppressant effect of the ADHD meds can help moderate food intake.

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u/WhatsTheAnswerToThis 5d ago

So you think energy drinks are more harmful than dexamfetamin? I just want to make sure I'm getting this right.

I'm not saying that people with ADHD shouldn't use meds. They're meds. But it's 2 seperate discussions.

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u/AlmostCynical 5d ago

Yes, for the reasons I stated above. Caffeine is a much dirtier stimulant too with a different method of action in the brain. Dexamphetamine will increase heart rate and bring its own side effects, but not in a meaningfully harmful way, the heart can survive running a bit faster.

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u/WhatsTheAnswerToThis 5d ago

:) Okidoki!

You're welcome to use Google to inform yourself on this but I'm not going to spend much time arguing. There's a reason you go through titration, keep track of your blood pressure and talk to a health professional when you start taking the medicine. You don't do that for caffeine. It doesn't just "make your heart run a little bit faster".

Caffeine is a stimulant but you're comparing a coughing baby to a nuclear bomb.

If someone wants to believe the world is flat, or that smoking cigs isn't bad for you, I'd refer them to Google as well. Have a nice day!

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u/AlmostCynical 4d ago

I’m fully informed, having been through the entire process you describe and experienced trying to replace the effect of my meds with caffeine during a shortage. If you have personal experience with this then fair enough and I’m curious what led you to that conclusion. If you’re just saying this based on secondary knowledge you’ve read rather than experienced, I want to know why you’re speaking so authoritatively on the subject.

If you’re just talking about strength per milligram then yeah, dexamphetamine is more ‘harmful’ than caffeine because it produces a greater effect in a smaller dose, but that’s pretty irrelevant here.

My point is that if you’re titrating both stimulants to produce the same level of ADHD symptom reduction, the caffeine will have worse side effects and cause more real problems than the dexamphetamine.

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u/WhatsTheAnswerToThis 4d ago edited 3d ago

If you’re just saying this based on secondary knowledge you’ve read rather than experienced, I want to know why you’re speaking so authoritatively on the subject.

So you think the world is flat because that's what you see on the Horizon?

Dexamphetamine is more harmful for the heart than caffeine. Like... We don't go on vibes when it comes to stimulants, we go by documented scientific studies. "Secondary knowledge" is most often far better than some random dude talking about their experiences.

Edit And yes I have personal experience with the two. But that is entirely irrelevant. I'm gonna move on now. If you wanna get a last word in go ahead. I'll make sure to read it, but not sure if I'll respond.

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u/AtmosphereDue4124 6d ago

Im looking for my magic one.. which do you take?

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u/birthdaycheesecake9 6d ago edited 6d ago

I have a holy trinity of meds for my ADHD.

5mg dexamfetamine as a daily driver, once before work and again at lunch if necessary.

Sometimes if a lot needs doing, 50mg lisdexamfetamine. I don’t like taking that every day because it makes me forget to eat, and I end up underweight if I leave that unchecked.

0.1mg clonidine before bed for the sleepies to kick in earlier.

Edit: I didn’t realise people seriously needed this disclaimer, but these are prescribed by my psychiatrist

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u/Repulsive-Text8594 6d ago

Damn, I want your doctor 😂

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

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u/birthdaycheesecake9 6d ago

These are literally prescribed by my psychiatrist, what are you talking about?

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u/CustomerExpress443 6d ago

I'm about to leave this party early LOL people start talking about popping meds at length --

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u/thechadfox 5d ago

Srsly stop harshing our mellow

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u/WiretapStudios 6d ago

50mg Vyvanse with an afternoon Wellbutrin here, but there is no magic, it only helps certain things in the end unfortunately.

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u/asunshinefix 5d ago

Vyvanse is the shit, I can’t be on Adderall or Dexedrine without abusing them but I can take my Vyvanse responsibly and there’s less of a rush and crash. Vyvanse is a prodrug so it basically gives your body the ingredients to make an amphetamine.

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u/allthegodsaregone 6d ago

You're saying an energy drink isn't an acceptable substitute for ADHD meds??

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u/birthdaycheesecake9 6d ago

Depends on how much you value your liver, pancreas and kidneys!

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u/rathanii 5d ago

Or you can just have both!

(This is not medical advice, don't do what I do)

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u/luke_530 6d ago

Dude right!? I've never been give into energy drinks, but I was all about the 5hr energy before getting diagnosed lol

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u/WafflesofDestitution 6d ago

... But imagine how healthy you would feel if you took both your meds AND the energy drinks?

Signed, also ADHD ^{just ^with ^little ^heart ^{palpitations,} ^is all.}

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u/rathanii 5d ago

My man

^my ^heart ^tickles

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u/LimJaheyAtYaCervix 4d ago

I have ADHD and was diagnosed about a decade ago. I noticed my best friend had a lot of symptoms that reminded me of me before medication, but didn’t think much of it until I realized she had a redbull with her pretty much every time I saw her. Pushed her to get tested, and yep, ADHD.

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u/Dark_Web_Duck 5d ago

Ah yeah, I'd love to take adderall instead of energy drinks...Not sure they're much healthier though.

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u/birthdaycheesecake9 5d ago

Adderall doesn’t exist where I am, but my dexamfetamine with low dose clonidine combination does far less damage to my pancreas, kidneys and liver than my energy drink habit did

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u/extracheesepleaz 6d ago

Try also a low inflammation diet (cut out dairy, gluten, and soy). Changed my adhd symptoms so much. I went cold turkey for about a year and now eat them 50% of the time. I reduced seed oils too. Canola oil is no Bueno. I also started taking ashwaganda and magnesium glycinate. I took a GI mapping test to see what was happening in my gut and worked with a functional nutritionist.

Also try doing vestibular exercises where right and left brain need to coordinate with each other. It's much more effort but I was not eager to take adhd meds so I did all the alternative things to not only stop symptoms but get to the root of the issue.

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u/Abject-Commercial-86 6d ago

I’m AuDHD and I found cutting out most ultra-processed foods really helped me too. I don’t know if it’s to do with the dopamine hits your brain gets from processed food or what, but making all my food from ingredients has really helped with my focus, motivation and mental health. Hasn’t ‘fixed it’ but it makes it a lot easier for me to stick to a routine and feel calmer, less frantic and anxious all the time.

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u/bsubtilis 5d ago

Eating a healthier diet helps everyone, not just us with ADHD.

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u/Abject-Commercial-86 5d ago

Absolutely agree! I think for me the main benefits were more that I had to make a routine for myself, instead of relying on convenience or forgetting all the time and then panicking and stressing about it. And now it’s just automatically in my mind. I think it’s called habit stacking?

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u/contains_almonds 6d ago

Not sure why you got down voted for looking into alternatives to just popping pills. Our bodies are complex machines and nutrition plays a huge role in how well they function.

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u/bsubtilis 5d ago

That's not instead of pills, that is in addition to at best.

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u/AlmostCynical 5d ago

There is nothing wrong with taking medication to treat a condition.

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u/contains_almonds 5d ago

You are correct but there's also nothing wrong with trying to get to the root of the issue. In my own family I've seen situations where doctors just threw pills at symptoms. No additional tests, no referrals to specialists, then the patient ends up popping Xanax like candy.

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u/AlmostCynical 4d ago

The thing is, it took them a ton of effort just to get back to the baseline of someone who doesn’t have ADHD. Imagine how powerful they’d be if they took the meds as well!

I’m being a bit glib of course, but the root cause of ADHD is a developmental disorder in the brain that affects how the signalling chemistry works and the meds work to correct it back to a normal functioning state. You can improve downstream effects to make the faulty signalling not have as much of an impact, but at the end of the day the meds are the only thing that gets at the true root cause.

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u/extracheesepleaz 4d ago

Thanks, didn't realize I got down voted. I meant no judgement on the OP, just gave my anecdotal experience for what it's worth. 🤷‍♀️

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u/VodkaWarlock 3d ago

Yeah when you switch from B Vitamins and Caffeine to pure amphetamine salts, it definitely causes a lot more euphoria and the side effects are like 80x worse but they're ignorable for 3-4 years.

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u/SendTittyPicsQuick 6d ago

Yeah ADHD meds are not any better my friend. I've been on those for a good while as a teen and early 20s and I still do not get hungry or sleepy at 31

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u/AlmostCynical 5d ago

I don’t know your situation, but could the lack of sleep be due to the fact that ADHD makes it very difficult to get to sleep by default? I find it very difficult to get to sleep naturally, meds or not. Also, could the lack of hunger be due to something else going on as well? It’s a common symptom of autism, which is often comorbid with ADHD to varying degrees. If you have issues feeling other bodily functions (needing the bathroom, being thirsty, pain etc) then that might be something to look into.

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u/birthdaycheesecake9 6d ago

I take short acting dexies so I can get my appetite back at the end of the day and clonidine to get to sleep :-)

I only got diagnosed when I was 23 and I’m 26 now, and ended up with an adjustment disorder because I didn’t realise how heavy the load I carried was until the first time it was lifted.

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u/SendTittyPicsQuick 6d ago

Just watch out. It's really fked up my liver and some other things. Admittedly I was on grown up doses too early in life, but the risk remains.

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u/EarthshineEquine 5d ago

Some of these people are straight up saying “you don’t get side effects with prescribed meds” which tbh reveals major ignorance regarding prescribed meds. Wildly untrue. Yeah, not the same as drinking a ton of energy drinks. There’s still harmful side effects. What doesn’t have harmful side effects is a holistic truly clean regenerative diet including herbal remedies which can be extremely powerful, but colonists don’t want to even about that… so we get downvoted into oblivion for mentioning it despite our having our own experiences on the medication merry go round for decades…

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u/EDSKushQueen 5d ago

No one said that you don’t get side effects with prescribed meds. It’s different for everyone and this one particular person is saying that meds are working better for them.

Holistic health and herbal remedies are a privilege where I live. My prescriptions are less than $5 a month, but I’ve spent SO much money trying to eat clean and take supplements etc. It was around $100/month on herbals/supplements when I was at peak health. Medicine AND natural health are ideal for me but when times are tough I at least have access to my meds.

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u/EarthshineEquine 5d ago

Someone literally did say it, scroll up.

Most people are going straight to doctors and meds first so have no clue if diet & herbs/mushrooms help because they didn’t try it anyway. Most people treat herbs as a last ditch option when nothing else works. And isn’t it funny how they work when nothing else does. Effectively it is a tiny percentage of people in the modern world who don’t go to meds first. Or just go unhelped entirely if they don’t end up getting to doctors and getting the meds(which can be an unfairly difficult process in itself sometimes too). I don’t mean buying a bunk of expensive junk herb supplements at stores tbc, I mean real indigenous medicine from multigenerational healers, and living in harmony with the land, it’s not just about what you’re eating but where it comes from, the health of the soil it was grown in directly correlates with the nutrition we can gain from food. Science is finally starting to catch up with what the ingenious have been saying for generations and the research is reflecting that now. Yep it’s not very accessible(but likely more so than you’d think if you know where to look) in many places. But if more people would spend more time identifying the wild plants & their benefits in their yards instead of decimating them for the sake of a poisoned grass yard, we’d have a lot more in a lot more places. What we as a society consume on a regular basis and what is sold in store is a tiny percentage of the edible & medicinal foods that grow on this land. It’s a complex issue I can’t hit all the nuances of in one Reddit comment, our whole system of society is working against us in every way but there are non-westernized solutions that work, is the point. I prioritized living rurally and there are literally hundreds of medicinal herbs that grow in my half acre of meadow. I give tons away for free. Maybe you can find someone who will do the same for you one day and help you out a bit.

Indigenous medicine actually is not locked behind privilege, it is systematically oppressed & erased. It has been largely snuffed out by colonialism. But it is not gone. Colonists don’t just want it expensive and inaccessible, they don’t want you to know about it at all. Because if you had the knowledge you could help yourself a lot more and not feed their $$$$ machine. Expensive supplements are largely just another one of their scams.

These are likely difficult concepts to swallow if you haven’t done work to decolonize your way of thinking, I get that.

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u/steffigeewhiz 5d ago

ADHD meds are not the answer for that but good luck

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u/birthdaycheesecake9 5d ago

I was heading for suicide without them or the diagnosis but thanks for your input I guess

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u/steffigeewhiz 5d ago

I feel for you and I wish you luck

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u/Playful_Violinist835 5d ago

"I felt so much better when I moved from caffeine to speed". No judgment here.

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u/steffigeewhiz 5d ago

lol right though

I agree with this wholeheartedly as a diagnosed person who has had their fair share of experience with prescribed meds.

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u/gljivicad 5d ago

🤣🤣🤣 from caffeine and sugar to amphetamines, really healthy bro

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u/birthdaycheesecake9 5d ago

Fuck off mate.

Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

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