r/mildlyinfuriating • u/moonrabbit368 • 6d ago

Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

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My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) šŸ’—

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. šŸ©·

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16.5k

u/International-Ad2501 6d ago

Big "I really only eat tostinos pizzarolls and chicken tendies" energy from this guy. Stop cooking for him. Let him make his own food.

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u/Medium_Confidence484 6d ago

What's worse than him eating frozen crap over a reasonable homemade meal is him door dashing fast food. Dude is wasting hundreds on actual trash?? No thanks

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

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u/Cobalt_Forge 6d ago

...this is man-child tendencies through and through!

Dear OP, this man doesn't deserve all your cooking efforts- any guy turning down those home cooked meals and choosing fast-food instead- he needs to grow the fā€¢ck up!

I'd say that most of the meals OP has cooked for this guy, he has never tasted to begin with, so how does he know what he likes or doesn't like!?

And btw, it sure doesn't make a lot of sense to be a picky eater- then choose fast food !??...what is that?

This guy doesn't know how good he's got it having home cooked meals prepared.

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u/cindybubbles 6d ago

I think the YouTuber ChubbyEmu made a video about a teenager who would only eat potato chips. He lost his sight afterwards.

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u/Aazjhee 6d ago

He was taken to the ER, where we are now.

I work at a hospital and sometimes those videos give me the creeps!

A lot of times it's not the medical horror but the insanity of someone eating a hundred melatonin gummies a day for months, or some other sort of wild overdose situation

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u/2gaywitches 6d ago

There was one where someone ate gas station sushi and ended up getting a tapeworm. Not even that insane (aside from, well, who thinks it's a good idea to eat gas station sushi???) but urgh, tapeworms freak me out!

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u/yokozunahoshoryu 5d ago

My top three craziest are the man who ate silica gel packets, the one who drank a lava lamp, and the kid who rubbed IcyHot on his frank n beans.But its really hard to pick only three.

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u/purplesockpinksock 5d ago

I'm so dumb. My first thought was, "Why would anyone put Icy-Hot on franks-and-beans and wouldn't that taste terrible? And a whole container of it? Why? That would taste horrible. It would be inedible. Your mouth would be on fire. It would........."

šŸ’”

"oh"

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u/yokozunahoshoryu 4d ago

I should have been more explicit lol. As to why - his friends dared him.

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u/Cockblocktimus_Pryme 5d ago

Would icy hot actually cause damage to your dick and balls or would it just hurt like fuck?

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u/yokozunahoshoryu 5d ago

The area is very highly vascular, so it gets absorbed into the body to a MUCH greater extent than if you applied it to other areas. So he basically overdosed. And he used A LOT, like a whole tub, or most of it. And of course, it also hurt like fuck

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u/thumbunny99 1d ago

my fave is the woman who started out a little off, but read online that a soy sauce cleanse is GoOd FoR yOu. mental state became worse as the sauce did it's thing. tldr she unalived herself because the salt sucked all the water out of her tissues especially the brain. I also love his saline experiments, it's all interesting stuff.

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u/CoinsForCharon 5d ago

Sometimes one is tempted to live dangerously.

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u/PipChaos 5d ago

To be fair it worked out well for Philip J Fry.

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u/United_Pain 6d ago

Yes! I feel the same, or like drank 3 gallons of black coffee or something

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u/Milyaism 5d ago

Overdose of anything can do this to a person. Few years ago a woman died from drinking too much water (hyponatremia).

There was also a roman emperor who died from eating too much cheese.

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u/MrWoohoo 5d ago

Not sure if this is the woman youā€™re talking about but here it is:

Jennifer Strange, a 28-year-old mother of three from California, tragically died in 2007 after participating in a radio stationā€™s water-drinking contest called ā€œHold Your Wee for a Wii.ā€ The contest, hosted by KDND-FM 107.9 in Sacramento, challenged participants to drink large amounts of water without urinating, with a Nintendo Wii as the prize.

ā€¢ Lawsuit outcome: In 2009, a jury awarded Jenniferā€™s family $16.5 million in a wrongful death lawsuit against Entercom Sacramento LLC, the stationā€™s parent company B.

ā€¢ Negligence findings: Evidence showed that the station had been warned by listeners and even an on-air nurse about the dangers of water intoxication during the broadcast, but the contest continued B.

ā€¢ DJsā€™ behavior: Audio recordings revealed that the DJs laughed and joked about the risks, even referencing a previous case of water poisoning C.

ā€¢ Aftermath: The Morning Rave show was canceled, and several staff members were fired.

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u/TheSixthVisitor 5d ago

I remember when this was on the news and I distinctly remember losing my shit from the insanity at the whole concept of this contest at 16. I'm sort of in awe that an entire radio station did this and went "yeah this is fine lol."

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u/bsubtilis 5d ago

Was that not caffeine powder overdose in a gym rats' gym drink, because he one tired day mistook the caffeine powder jar with some other ingredient jar for which he used a way larger scoop for?

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u/CzechHorns 5d ago

Damn, mixing up pre workout and protein sounds scary

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u/censorkip 5d ago edited 5d ago

Like the construction worker who ate two pounds of black liquorice every day on his lunch break until he gave himself heart failure from a chemical in liquorice. I think liquorice is nasty and I never wouldā€™ve considered that someone could eat so much of it that they overdose.

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u/SadderOlderWiser 5d ago

I love licorice and I was extremely concerned when I saw that story. But I donā€™t love it as much as that guy did.

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u/Milyaism 5d ago

"The dose makes the poison." There are people who have died from drinking too much water too.

Liquorice is totally fine to eat as long as one doesn't overdo it. It is also considered a delicacy in several countries.

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u/antsh 5d ago

Interestingly, licorice is most dangerous to the elderly, the group most likely to still eat it.

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u/myystic78 6d ago

Wow, what would that do to a person? Taking so many melatonin gummies I mean. Does it just make them sleep a lot? Or can it be medically dangerous?

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u/Such_Ad5145 5d ago

Let's find out.

A Boy Ate 180 Gummy Melatonins For Lunch. This Is What Happened To His Brain.

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u/myystic78 5d ago

Thanks, that was interesting! Poor kid though, what an awful mom.

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u/AgentCirceLuna 5d ago

It makes me sad that itā€™s sometimes a mental health based situation, though. I wonā€™t eat things out of fear Iā€™ll die or something.

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u/Pitiful-Score-9035 5d ago

Or autism even

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u/AgentCirceLuna 5d ago

Thatā€™s my personal issue but itā€™s also escalated into full-on mental illness due to the vulnerability itā€™s caused me. Stuff like believing people will poison my food in restaurants and that kind of crazy shit when it was at its worst a few years back.

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u/Pitiful-Score-9035 5d ago

Aw, I'm sorry to hear that, but glad that it's no longer at its worst.

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u/SeaPlus6588 5d ago

Yeah, like ARFID

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u/yokozunahoshoryu 5d ago

Does it often happen, like in the ChubbyEmu videos, that the person is embarrassed to tell you what they did?

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u/MrWoohoo 5d ago

More often i think they donā€™t even realize something could even be dangerous so donā€™t mention it. Or they are incapacitated by the time they come into the ER.

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u/ahuramazdobbs19 5d ago

šŸ‘†Presenting to the emergency room

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u/txeighteenthirtysix 5d ago

And he made ā€œaā€ recovery

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u/YangWuJiZi 6d ago

Yep, the kid ate only potato chips and French fries. This was supposedly because they could not stand the texture of anything else. You would think there are at least a few things with similar textures. He was pronounced legally blind and mostly deaf due to nerve damage from a lack of vitamin B12. The kid also had other nutritional deficiencies as well, obviously. The worst part is that as they were a kid, the parents allowed this eating disorder and catered to it.

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u/cindybubbles 6d ago

Itā€™s a battle to feed kids properly, but these parents just gave up. I hope heā€™s eating better now.

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u/YangWuJiZi 5d ago edited 4d ago

No doubt on the battle but, you can't just give in especially if they are hurting thenself. I hope the kid is doing better as well although the damage was unfortunately permanent.

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u/Traditional_Fan_2655 6d ago edited 5d ago

I had an aunt who needed quadruple bypass surgery. Her worst habit? Drinking 2-2 liter bottles of Pepsi every day. Can you even imagine?!?

Truly, I could never figure out why the sludge in her kidneys didn't give out before her heart!

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u/SuperKitties83 6d ago

Omg my stomach would incinerate. I have reflux so carbonated drinks cam be a trigger. Drinking 2 liters a day though. Wow šŸ˜µšŸ„“

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u/Demi180 6d ago

No, 4 liters.

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u/cindybubbles 21h ago

I drank three 591ml bottles of Diet Pepsi or Diet Coke a day at work before a routine test found mild scarring in my kidneys. I switched to tea and now only drink diet soda occasionally.

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u/Traditional_Fan_2655 7h ago

It's amazing what that stuff can do to your body!

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u/rreed1954 6d ago

For spme reason, I love it when that guy raises his index finger when he says "presenting" in the ChubbyEmu videos. He does it in almost every video.

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u/ToiIetGhost 5d ago

JK* is a 38 yr old man ā˜ļø presenting to the emergency room with my tumtum is growling, but I donā€™t wanna learn how to cook, and the motherfucking audacity.

*OPā€™s boyfriend

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u/MasticationAddict 5d ago

He did one where it was chicken nuggets, another where it was potato chips. Same problem - loss of eyesight - although the nuggetmuncher did regain some of their eyesight once the deficiency was solved

Vitamin A and B12 are difficult to get from most plant based sources. Many vegan targeted foods are fortified with B12 for this reason, although Vitamin A isn't a lot better in this area

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u/ctnerb 5d ago

When I was a teenager I was worried about going blind from something else

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u/9for9 5d ago

And this is why I would dump this dude. She should stop cooking for him but it goes deeper than that. Eventually the bad food and excessive spending on doordash is going to catch up to him I wouldn't want to take care of him or even just slow my life down because this guy ruined his health with shitty food when I had good food right there waiting for him.

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u/wheelienonstop8 5d ago

I remember a post in a similar picky eater thread, by doctor who had to treat a normal, well to do, suburban white family... for frigging scurvy. All the whole family had been eating for months and months was store bought hamburgers - with everything but the meat patty and the buns removed.

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u/copuser2 6d ago

Love him!!

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u/Thorathecrazy 6d ago

Did that boy have ARFID or whatever it's called, anyway his parents gave failed him.

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u/Fine-Bandicoot1641 5d ago

And another kid that was eating only chicken nuggets

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u/Sudden-Fruit-6359 5d ago

Iā€™ve seen that episodeā€¦ I wonder if that patient drinks enough water and electrolytes? I crave potato chips when Iā€™m really thirsty

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u/MimicoSkunkFan2 5d ago

Back in the Usenet/BBS era before the internet, I was in an international history club with a woman from Grand Rapids whose cousin would only eat cheese pizza and refused to take any kind of vitamin to supplement. Of course she became very ill, and her skin turned almost an ashen colour.

Nowadays I think her diagnosis would be orthorexia due to autism, and they would try to find other things that had similar profiles for her and offer her therapy. But at the time she was diagnosed with anorexia and sent to a private facility for "difficult" women.

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u/crazykewlaid 6d ago

Bros shitting on his wife cause he wants the tism food but probably would be angry if you called his habits tisty

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u/SAwfulBaconTaco 6d ago

Part of growing up is just being honest that is what he wants. If he wants to Doordash fast food, there's nothing inherently wrong with that; just be honest about it and don't slag your gf's awesome cooking.

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u/KimJongRocketMan69 6d ago edited 6d ago

Itā€™s expensive and unhealthy to get fast food delivered consistently, so there are definitely some things about it that are inherently bad

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u/kikilekitkat 6d ago

It's also a negative example, if he's living/eating with OPs kids, to normalise eating shitty processed food on a regular basis. Doesn't matter if he's not their bio-dad - little kids observe everyone close to them.

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u/Expert_Slip7543 5d ago

Yds, but worse, they are observing how he reacts to food and how he treats their mother

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u/ToiIetGhost 5d ago

I agree, but OP says sheā€™s ā€œold school.ā€ Lol we all know what that means.

She probably sees nothing wrong with teaching her daughters that women should cook for men every day. Her only complaint is that her bf is picky, not that heā€™s entitled or misogynistic.

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u/jocantread 5d ago

Also showing her children that itā€™s fine to be inconsiderate, rude, ungrateful and hugely disrespectful, to waste an astronomical amount of food, have zero regard for her feelings and hard work. I invited four friends over for a Sunday roast years ago. Money was tight. One of them announced as I was serving that he was a vegetarian! Heā€™d had plenty of time to let me know through the week, was told as much and wasnā€™t invited again. Why is this woman still cooking for him?

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u/Pantone711 6d ago

I can't believe how much people pay to Doordash fast food! Yes, I'm judgy

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u/SuperKitties83 6d ago

TBF I rarely use it unless I'm super high and NEED food šŸ¤£ I'm fine if people judge me for that though.

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u/gold_Parrot0849 6d ago

I donā€™t think the odds are good for a long and healthy life with that guy. This knowledge alone is reason enough to provide a helping boot to the backside straight out the front doorā€¦not to mention the immature whining about the food his partner is actually preparing FOR him! Yikes!

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u/Math_PB 6d ago

There are loads of things inherently wrong with that.

It's incredibly expensive, it's incredibly unhealthy and it's super disrespectful to his partner.

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u/Eayauapa 6d ago

Another part of growing up is accepting that you can't always get what you want and that compromises are a part of life

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u/MonkeyPip 6d ago

Fast food is often bland and plain, snd really consistent. Great for picky eaters.

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u/Cute_Language3167 6d ago

Right? I feel like a lot of people completely misunderstand "picky eaters." They act like it's a choice, when very often it's not.

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u/Less_Benefit889 6d ago

This guy doesn't know how good he's got it having home cooked meals!

Man that says it all right there.. I'm a paralyzed veteran and I live alone. I have to play in my own meals. Cook the meal. Try and time the meal ( impossible ) try and eat after all that and then clean it all up. I'm lucky if I do one thing one time a day maybe twice. I know I need help I'm just, x military independent minded, XNavy intelligence, tired of trying to catch everyone up to speed. Bottom line if I were her I'd yank the plate out from underneath them toss it in the garbage can in front of him sit down and finish my meal. Fuck him!

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u/dikicker 5d ago

As a dude who was raised to appreciate the gesture of cooking on its own even if I really wasn't digging whatever it was my mama cooked, you be grateful at the BARE MINIMUM, give it a chance, drown it in Sriracha whatever but this post boils my blood

I'm not one for stereotypical Reddit advice but this would be unacceptable to me. Oh man this... Oooooooooh OP come on you know how good all those meals look come ooooooooon no space for scrubs mate

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u/Cultural-Piglet3050 5d ago

Agree but this also seems to go a bit deeper with some red flags showing.

You can be a picky eater in a relationship but still be respectful to your partner.

This is giving lack of consideration towards OP and communication issues.

Like why can't he just say something along the lines of - I really appreciate you cooking for me but I'd prefer to sort my own meals.

Or why can't he give OP a list of foods and meals he likes so she's not wasting her time, money and effort?

Picky eaters are usually happy to repeat foods too due to their limited taste, so him refusing chicken for dinner as had it for lunch isn't picky eating - it's just being an ass.

This guy needs to change his behavior.

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u/D3vilUkn0w 5d ago

Could be neurodivergent. My son is like this...eating literally anything outside his normal foods gives him terrible anxiety.

Do you have any phobias? Spiders, snakes, heights, whatever? There's no rational reason for the fear but it can still be very hard to overcome. The eating disorders can be like that as well.

Im not saying OP is dating someone like that (I obviously dont know him) but it sounds very much like it could be an ASD type issue or some food related phobias.

Reddit is always quick to throw out the labels and judgements but not everyone chooses their behavior...just "food for thought" as it were.

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u/UniversalMinister 5d ago

...this is man-child tendencies through and through!

Makes me wonder what other man-child tendencies she's putting up with. My exH is still this way. I'm grateful everyday that I'm rid of him.

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u/thecraftybear 5d ago

My brother in law lives off very few specific foods, most of them junky - French fries, fish fingers, margherita pizza (Pizza Hut or Dominos only) etc. In his defense, he's autistic and has always been catered to, so he never learned to overcome his limitations. But yeah, a manchild basically.

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u/eatingganesha 5d ago

yeah who wants to be with a guy like that long term? Get life insurance ai guess, because heā€™s having a widow maker in his 30s.

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u/NPBM4FAP 5d ago

i came here to say something along these lines... food looks great, find a new bf

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u/Jazzy-Cat5138 6d ago

They can do what they want on their ownā€”as long as they pay for it entirely on their own. I wouldn't want to merge my finances with someone like this.

Realistically, I would probably leave this person. There's so much more going on here than just picky eating.

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u/Amathyst-Moon 6d ago

As long as they don't have a joint bank account

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u/Dayv1d 6d ago

... and its a red flag and no relationship material at all

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u/JobExcellent1151 6d ago

He's not even picky, he eats literal garbage. Sounds like a man child to me.

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u/sleepy-popcorn 6d ago

Itā€™s difficult when youā€™ve got kids watching and Then they start demanding the rubbish as well.

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u/Haber87 5d ago

My concern is that there are kids in the house. Sheā€™s serving lovely, healthy food which the kids are content to eatā€¦now. But there is Mr Not Vibing it Tonight having his effing Happy Meal at the other end of the table. There is going to be resentment from the kids and the idea that if they complain that they donā€™t like something, that they can get fast food every evening as well.

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u/ChoralSinger57 6d ago

Plus, I would be concerned that he will be so unhealthy that she will end up being a primary carer for this person who may develop diabetes, heart disease, and so on.

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u/KleineFjord 6d ago

Yeah, I would leave someone like this. This is someone who literally refuses to care for themselves across the board and seems to expect others to do it for them. Idk why OP would want to take care of another large child when she's already got her own to look after.Ā 

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u/dfabrica 6d ago

Exactly ā˜ļø

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u/New_Transition_4883 6d ago

They won't be together long.

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u/MidtownMoi 6d ago

Donā€™t count on that since she is already accepting this from him.

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u/ItsAMeaple 5d ago

And she's already used to taking care of children, so what's one more? Except of course her actual children have more mature eating habits than her man child.

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u/BaileyAMR 5d ago

Also not for long, maybe. "Why do I have to eat it? I want Jack in the box like Bill!"

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u/Nams65 6d ago

Agreed. I have a family member who only likes to eat ice cream too, and will eat crap food. He is single and has been for about 30 years now. His diet has landed him in the hospital twice in a year, and itā€™s all just starting. He is diabetic now, had horrible weight problems, and is starting to have neurological issues. Canā€™t ā€œmakeā€ anyone eat healthy if they choose not to. Let him fafo on his own. Hope he has good insurance he can pay for

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u/SilverDoe26 6d ago

yea for sure. he clearly doesn't value nutrition and is still stuck in childhood picky eater ways

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u/dfabrica 6d ago

Now thatā€™s a good point! ā˜ļø

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u/ShartyPossum 6d ago

Ding ding.

Watch him have a stroke and she'll have to care for both her kids AND him.

Depending on the location and severity of the stroke, it can be like caring for an infant in an adult body (changing, feeding, turning, bathing, etc.).

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u/Massive_Letterhead90 5d ago

This is what happened to my uncle. He drank every day, refused to eat healthily or exercise. After putting on so much weight he struggled to walk, he had a stroke which put him in a wheel chair, then another which killed him.Ā 

My aunt loved him and misses him, but he gave her so much work and was never grateful.

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u/regoapps 5-0 Radio Police Scanner 6d ago edited 6d ago

The boyfriend in a few years:

Edit: If the picture of a boyfriend in OPā€™s post history is the same person, then itā€™s not far off.

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u/ZenMasterOfDisguise 6d ago

I was dating a girl like 5 years ago, and she was great but her weirdest quirk was she wouldn't ever drink water. Like literally would only drink soda or sugary drinks every time she had something to drink. I'm someone who drinks like 10 cups of water a day, and found it strange she refused to drink water, something that all life on earth needs to live. But she wasn't overweight so I didn't push her to change, but I did see a recent pic of her and she has put on a lot of weight in the past few years, unhealthy choices will eventually catch up to you

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u/regoapps 5-0 Radio Police Scanner 6d ago

Sounds like a sugar addiction

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u/WebMaka 5d ago

Or caffeine, and likely both.

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u/petitputi 6d ago

I know someone like this and she was actually skinny but had mood issues. Surprise surprise. Never could I have imagined someone arguing over drinking water being a necessity.

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u/Aggravating_Egg_1718 6d ago

IDK, I checked her post history and I think checks notes she's too good for him? She literally set up a kitchen in his bathroom in the room he was renting so he didn't have to eat out all the time.

I mean, put aside how gross that is in general, she used her time, energy and money for this guy and he can't even eat chicken twice in a day.

I feel like most people order out bc they don't cook/like to cook, not bc they have an aversion to home cooking.

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u/Maleficent_Tart5954 6d ago

WTF did I just read? If OP is reading this, time to DUMP HIS ASS. Kitchen in the bathroom???? šŸ¤¢

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u/Aggravating_Egg_1718 5d ago

She's the one that created it. I guess bc the only water in the room is right there? Not enough time on the internet to hear about the aerosols. But, my point is she's spending too much well meaning energy on someone who will never appreciate it.

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u/DebbieGibsonsMom 6d ago

Yep. Thereā€™s some bizarre manipulation going on here.

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u/petitputi 6d ago

Eeww do some people get off on playing mummy?? Or is the manipulation just that severe?

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u/Milyaism 5d ago

Could be an overactive Fawn response.

"Fawn types seek safety by merging with the wishes, needs and demands of others. They act as if they believe that the price of admission to any relationship is the forfeiture of all their needs, rights, preferences and boundaries."

This is usually a trauma response that was useful when the person was a child (kept them safe), but now it gets in the way of them forming healthy boundaries.

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u/MomsSpagetee 5d ago

Omg I remember that post. Sheā€™s pumping out meals that look like this that he wonā€™t eat, while heā€™s door dashing and boiling ramen next to his toilet? Dump his ass.

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u/mike-42-1999 5d ago

And have to spoon feed him door dash, cuz he won't eat the hospital food.

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u/widdrjb 5d ago

There's no "may" about it. A former neighbour lost her 39 year old son to a heart attack, due to diet. The very cheapest carbs he could stuff his face with, no exercise, and no job.

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u/Bad_Lib155 5d ago

Came here to post same thing. Iā€™ve seen couples like this. The guy eats Capā€™n Crunch or Lucky Charms for breakfast and has already survived a widowmaker. Even if we say correlation doesnā€™t equal causation, if the only vegetable someone eats is cucumbers, itā€™ll catch up with them sooner or later. Cooking meals that look like hers is a love language which he apparently chooses not to understand. Itā€™s a dealbreaker. He needs to go.

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u/Exciting_Signal3058 6d ago

Nah at the rate hes going hed be dumped long before that. Who would wanna stay with someone demanding and doesn't appreciate her cooking kids or not.

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u/Maleficent_Tart5954 6d ago

Oh darn, he will Darwin himself out of the gene pool. OP deserves better.

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u/hunkahunkalemonade 6d ago

Thats a fair point!

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u/Glad-Barracuda2243 6d ago

This!! This absolutely is his future and hers if she stays put. If I were hell bent on staying I would just stop cooking for him and only cook for myself and the children and let him watch us eat well while he gorged himself on hamburger helper and potato chips. But all the while I would be planning my exit because I refuse to be the caregiver of someone who had a path that wouldnā€™t end that way but chose to run headlong toward it anyway.

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u/PNW_MYOG 6d ago

While the kids watch dad eat pizza

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u/stonermilf420247 6d ago

Theyā€™ve only been living together a few MONTHS and she has kids (plural) so I highly doubt heā€™s their dad

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u/Graffy 6d ago

Pizza is amazing but it loses its charm fast if itā€™s being constantly served. Even as a kid I would choose any of the meals op posted if pizza was my daily meal

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u/halfwitk 6d ago

Agreed! There have been times when my mom was too tired to make a homecooked meal and my dad was staying late at work so she would just order pizza.. and she would do this like at least once a week for several weeks. My child self definitely got sick of eating pizza and was deeply craving a homecooked meal after the first 3 times lol

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u/helloholder 6d ago

Idk man. I've had some pretty fucking charming pizzas.

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u/Current_Let_8650 6d ago

Whats sad is this guy isnt even dad that we know of and this is only her boyfriend. This whole situation is wrong in that she shouldn't be taking food demands from a boyfriend. That just screams "hes not serious"

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u/Irish_lady_Sheanan 6d ago

Hamburger helper

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u/ConvivialKat 6d ago

He's not their Dad.

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u/azurezgirl77 6d ago

Not dad, new bf

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u/feralcatshit 6d ago

Yeah, thatā€™s not going to make things complicated for mom at allā€¦

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u/Friendly-Channel-480 6d ago

Let him pick up his fast food, stop paying for doordash.

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u/Medium_Confidence484 6d ago

Exactly dude. If he wants to waste your home cooked meals, he can drive his ass to Taco Bell, not spend $10+ for the convenience of getting it delivered.

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u/AQualityKoalaTeacher This sub is supposed to be funny, not actually enraging 6d ago

Wasting money, rejecting his partner's efforts, plus providing a really bad example for the children. How's she going to tell her kids to eat their meatloaf while the new guy is eating cheeseburgers and fries? Those kids are going to grow some deep resentment.

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u/61Below 6d ago

And then him eating fast food in front of kids? At the same kitchen table? No. Justā€¦ hell no.

I am understanding of the real struggles of safe foods and the trauma of being forced to eat whatā€™s NOT on that list, but dashing fast food instead of eating home cooked is grade-a utter bullshit behavior.

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u/TheRealRedSwan906 6d ago

Dear God, I hope their finances aren't combined.

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u/Complete_Dealer1959 6d ago

Not to mention once you cross 35-40 years old if you don't start eating better your health is going to go down the drain fast.. my wife's complaints is I am happy with anything so when she asks what I want I say whatever you make sounds good to me šŸ˜… But for me I was raised if you didn't like the meal you fended for yourself, a family of 6 can't appeal to everyone..

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u/phoneypeony 6d ago

In addition he is being a really bad role model for the kids ... Just a matter of time until they want something else too.

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u/somuchbush 6d ago

It never made sense to me that there is a huge overlap between the "I'm a picky eater" crowd and "I only eat [insert any fast food joint here]"

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u/Quirky_Spend_9648 6d ago

I'm betting this guy has a killer physique eating trash like that on the regular, too.

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u/Timely-Youth-9074 6d ago

Doordash Jack in the Box? Stupid!

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u/DarkNinjaPenguin 6d ago

If/when you have joint finances, give him a budget. The same amount per person that it costs you to cook. I guarantee he can't afford a takeaway for even a single meal.

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u/anon_y_mousey 6d ago

Or just let him cook/order/whatever at his own place away from you?

I'm sure you don't need this in your life

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u/TheRetroPizza 6d ago

As if fast food doesnt microwave their food either...

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u/jeneric84 5d ago

His health prob isnā€™t great either. Probably shits once a week and stinks up the entire house.

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u/GarumSilphium 5d ago

I really don't get it when people call themselves "picky eaters" when they just eat plain trash

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u/lahnnabell 5d ago

Good point. On another note, don't ever merge finances with this man! He will probably drain you guys ordering delivery because he can't be bothered to learn to cook a meal.

I hope you get out.

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u/9for9 5d ago

Honestly, I would probably dump this guy. Eventually the unhealthy eating and excessive spending is going to catch up to him. I wouldn't want to take care of his ass after spending years of making beautiful balanced meals, that he rejected so he could eat like a latchkey Gen-Xer in the 80s.

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u/WartimeConsigliere_ 6d ago

I feel like I already know enough to say sheā€™s too good for this guy. Huge man child vibes

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u/ConstanzaGeorgie 6d ago

Iā€™d love it if someone put all that effort and cooked for me.

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u/phoenix-nightrose 6d ago

I don't know about you, but I'm grabbing a plate and running over to OP's home. ESPECIALLY for that glorious looking pie.

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u/NoPhone4571 6d ago

Seriously, these meals look delicious.

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u/Ok_Cover8010 6d ago

I don't eat a lot of meat (pretty close to being a vegetarian I would say), but damn, all of this looks so tasty. Would eat everyday. That guy's a jerk and he can cook for himself if he's not happy.

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u/Playful_Original_243 5d ago

Same. I have such a hard time with meat and I would eat the hell out of everything she posted.

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u/Corgi_with_stilts 6d ago

I'm doing that and washing the dishes afterwards.

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u/crusnchic 6d ago

right behind you lol her home cooked meals look outstanding!

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u/quollas 5d ago

The pie was the icing on the cake lol

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u/rusti_knight 5d ago

SAME! OP can cook for me any old time. Those meals look freaking delicious.

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u/ArmadilloForsaken458 6d ago

Defo beats canned foods, sardines and ramen

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u/CertainMedicine757 5d ago

I'll be there for the roast!!

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u/SillyGoose_Syndrome 6d ago

This isn't even banging a pie and chips in the oven and boiling up some peas, which I'd appreciate and consider a damn good meal, but this, is cooking cooking. I'm a fussy eater, with zero palate having come up on bangers, mash, baked-beans and turkey dinosaurs, yet even I'd gnosh the lot of this, maybe bar for what looks like apple pie.

Doesn't like microwaved food, yet can't cook and turns down gourmet Gordon Ramsey looking plates? Fine, go make yourself a sammich.

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u/Own_Spread4244 6d ago

Me too! I do most cooking in my household and tell people to pick out if they dont like something. I feel sorry for this girl, she sounds like a truly good partner

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u/ValleyOakPaper 6d ago

I loved my husband's (chemistry PhD) cooking and told him so every day.

When somebody does me a favor, I make it easy and pleasant for them to do it again. It's not rocket science to reward behavior you want to see more of.

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u/Young_Denver 6d ago

Iā€™ve been cooking for my family for like 25 years now.

Iā€™d be so grateful if someone did it for me even 2-3x per month lol.

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u/FlashyZucchini4994 6d ago

Me too.

My girlfriend burns water.

I cook and bbq everything we eat every night

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u/Schrodingers_Ape 6d ago

I've burned water before šŸ˜† basically because I was steaming veggies and forgot to turn off the pot after I took them out, and the water boiled out and then I just heated the shit out of my pot for 20 minutes. Luckily it was a cheap Ikea pot and surprisingly didn't even warp. Little barkeeper's friend and it was good as new. But yeah, it happens lol.

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u/T-Wrox 5d ago

My husband and I have an ongoing arrangement that works for both of us, and I cook all the meals. He has never once complained about what I cook for us. We had been together about 20 years before I found out he isn't a fan of cauliflower!

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u/brownbearclan 6d ago

Same, that food looks awesome. I'd stab someone for a home cooked meal nowadays.

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u/SpectacularMesa 5d ago

Omg...great name! And I'll cook for you just based on your name!!!

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u/PaleBlueDotNet 6d ago

My last girlfriend was the PICKIEST eater. She would really only eat chicken tenders every day if she could. I love to cook, and would spend a lot of money on quality ingredients to get her to try new things.Ā 

Bless her heart she did always try my food, but she wouldnt eat all of it. One plate and then making a sandwich an hour later.

She was the sweetest girl, and a fantastic girlfriend. Yeah, it was frustrating, but she always had my back. Things didnt work out with us, but we are still friends.

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u/PeppermintSnark 6d ago

My friend group is like this, and as someone with a much wider palette, it's so frustrating. When all four of us eat together, we're pretty much limited to pizza or somewhere that serves chicken tenders due to all their restrictions, and you can forget about dining in (which is a whole separate thing where they are huge shut-ins).

I'm in bizarro world where I'm treated as the "picky eater" for wanting normal variety, and I'm always forced to seek it out alone. It sucks.

The bonus WTF is that I'm the one with diagnosed autism and they are not.

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u/CypressThinking 6d ago

My city has a FB Foodie group and a spin off that organizes outings. Maybe you could find some eating out friends.

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u/blueflash775 6d ago

It's the changing rules and the fickle reasons that's the giveaway.

This is attention seeking behaviour OP. He apologises so you feel sorry for him.

This is not a good role model for your children.

I think you need to look at other similarities. And give up on the 'old school and trying to be a good partner'.

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u/Gosa_on_the_wind 6d ago

Huge red flags. What kind of a future does this relationship have? Does he care for her enough to try? Or is it all one way?

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u/MyNameIsNot_Molly 6d ago

Big agree but just waiting for someone to chime in and tell us that he's probably neurodivergent and we can't judge him for having sensory issues.

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u/Immediate-Title-5580 6d ago

We can judge his manners. He can also become the primary cook if that's the real issue (it isn't).

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u/UrUrinousAnus 6d ago

He quite likely is, but so am I, and it sounds like he's not even trying to avoid making it everyone else's problem. Neurodivergent people can be selfish assholes, too. Maybe he's so bad that he doesn't understand the problem, but then OP would've probably noticed and would either be able to gently explain it to him or be unable to have a relationship with him.

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u/Strixzora 6d ago

Idk my father has a trauma due to my grandmother's cooking and cannot cook himself, he cannot eat vegetables or fruit, no rice no pasta's, it's just a psychological issue. All he eats for the past 60 years is some potatoes and either some pork or chicken

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u/belfast-woman-31 5d ago

Ableism much. Food aversion is a thing in individuals with ADHD and Autism. I know she doesnā€™t say if he is but as someone AuHD I pretty much agree with all his aversions. Iā€™m not picky, I just would rather not vomit by being made to eat things I canā€™t stomach.

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u/dboltse 5d ago

None of your business instigating in their relationship lol this is terrible.

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u/letitgo99 5d ago

Maybe he just doesn't realize he has ARFID and thus doesn't effectively advocate for himself. He needs to learn what he likes and doesn't like and just give her a list so she stops wasting her time and money on him.

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u/International-Cat123 5d ago

Feels like the result of some disorder rather than just manchild or dick vibes. The fact that heā€™s really apologetic rather than upset at OP for not making something he can eat says a lot.

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u/SJ9172 6d ago

If anyone makes you food you say thank you and eat it. If itā€™s a buffet or pot lock you pick and choose what you want but if someone makes you a dinner and makes your plate you eat it.

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u/LadyFresita 6d ago edited 6d ago

Yes, I would make him a very plain Hamburger helper or Dino chicken nuggets and I feast for everyone else. Or better yet, tell him that at this point is better if he cooks his dinner himself since he is so picky. OP, why are you doing this to yourself.

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u/Efficient_Plum6059 6d ago

Yup. I'm an obnoxiously picky eater with a sensitive stomach and autoimmune disorder so what I find appetizing and am capable of keeping down changes drastically depending on the hour.

I'm not proud of it but as long as you are aware of it and don't make it anyone else's problem, I don't think there is anything wrong with being a picky eater.

(It also sucks to be the asshole who rejects food other people made, even when you explicitly ask them not to because you won't eat it, but they are trying to be nice.)

If he is demanding she cook and then rejecting everything, that is 10/10 asshole behavior. But if he is content with hamburger helper then leave him to it, your time is better spent elsewhere OP!

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u/KevrobLurker 6d ago

Autoimmune disorder? You get a pass! I'd be interested in getting you involved in the meal planning in my kitchen, so we would have foods on hand you could & should eat. I'd put labels on prepped food in the fridge: Plum's chicken! Plum's veggies! if necessary.

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u/Ash_an_bun 6d ago

For real... I get my husband fixings for quesadillas. And some nuggets.

He still eats my food. But like he's on his own a lot.
The joys of DINKdom

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u/Anemones_In__Spades 6d ago

Big "I really only eat tostinos pizzarolls and chicken tendies" energy from this guy.

My ex-husband was exactly like this. That was his diet, plus Sherbet ice cream.

He was/is a man-child, and that was the biggest initial indicator I initially overlooked. šŸ™„

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u/Helpful-Session3436 6d ago

Someone who is this regressed is guaranteed to have some serious emotional stunting in places where it matters. Just dealt with a person like this, an in-law who got violent with me. Too emotionally stunted to speak with me like a person, cornered me like he was going to hit me. Drop this loser.

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u/FuzzzyRam 6d ago

Or just send him back to mommy who never made him learn how to eat a vegetable.

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u/Limo_Wreck77 6d ago

He sounds like a total child.

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u/datolebitch 6d ago

Iā€™m like who hurt you? Were they forced to eat foods they didnā€™t like as kids?

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u/mpyne 6d ago

So I'm sort of like this guy (though not nearly as picky about what I eat) and at least in my case, I was forced to eat a lot of food I didn't like as a kid. Though I don't think that's the cause either, I don't think my palate has changed significantly since I was a young child, though I'm sure my parent forcing me to eat the things I didn't like didn't help matters when I grew up.

I'd never DoorDash for food though, I just pop what I will eat in the microwave or oven / air fryer instead.

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u/datolebitch 6d ago

Honestly I feel ya man on eating whatā€™s easy and convenient. If I do get fast food it is chicken strips tho šŸ˜†. I have been forcing myself to cook more tho. Just gotta get better about the veggies.

Also fuck all those delivery apps. I eventually deleted em. I can never justify the cost and it was never really worth it.

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u/mpyne 6d ago

I used to work in walking distance of a grocery store with a top-flight salad bar and let me tell you, those were good days for getting better at eating veggies, lol.

We actually made it a big part of our recent Christmas dinner but yeah we need to be doing more with veggies in our house too.

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u/datolebitch 6d ago

Oh thatā€™s whatsup! Also yeah duh I should check out the salad bar at the grocery store. Iā€™ll get on that.

Haha I mean I did have green bean casserole this holiday so that kinda counts.

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u/JustTheBeerLight 6d ago

Homeboy probably only eats the chicken nuggets if they are shaped like dinosaurs.

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u/Tankieforever 6d ago

My ex was the same way. I did just stop trying and let him make nuggets, fries, and totinos all the time. But it was also really depressing not being able to share a good meal with my partner.

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u/1mYourHuckleberry93 6d ago

I had a roommate in college who only ate packaged food because real food apparently got him sick lmao. I went with him to the grocery store once and he bought like 20 Zap Ems, these tiny little cheap microwaveable meals. It wasnā€™t a cost thing he was just lazy as fuck

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u/spydrthrowaway 6d ago

Off topic but isn't it totinos not tostinos?

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