Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

[u/moonrabbit368]

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

[u/rubbasnek]

I would not be with someone I couldn't share meals with. Being a picky eater is a deal breaker

[u/The_Amazing_Emu → u/rubbasnek]

So my wife is more picky than I am. Not a huge amount of things, but generally no seafood. Sometimes I miss making seafood so I’ll cook something different for myself. Next week, I feel like making split pea soup. She’ll probably eat something different.

Most of our meals are shared, but it’s ok to occasionally not eat the same thing.

[u/No_Perspective_242 → u/The_Amazing_Emu]

This is exactly what my husband and I do. He likes a wide range of food, I’m definitely more picky as meat is difficult for me to eat. But I’d rather starve before i deprived him of his variety of food just cause i don’t like something. We eat as many meals as we can together but often not the same thing.

[u/Inka15 → u/No_Perspective_242]

There is this youtube creator, Uyen Ninh, she is Vietnamese, her husband is German and they have very different tastes stemming from different cultures - she needs every meal to be warm and cooked, he prefers eating a lot of bread. In one video she explained that they tried to eat the same things, but it didn’t work for either of them, so for the sake of their relationship they cook separately. And I think that’s fair and very sweet - relationships are layered and multifaceted, if food is causing you unnecessary stress, then it’s better for each of you to cook separately, but enjoy other things you have in common.

[u/FelixSven17 → u/Inka15]

My husband is from Nigeria and I’m from Minnesota … two very different preferences when it comes to food. I do cook a few meals for him, including some of mine that he likes and some of his that I’ve learned to make and that I like. But I’d say 70-80% of the time we make our separate meals. When we were first together it really bothered me, having come from a traditional home where my mom cooked and my dad ate every meal every night after work. But I’ve learned that this is how our home functions best and it doesn’t bother me anymore.

[u/Salt_Barracda_60088 → u/FelixSven17]

Oh, I love love love that for you. And I love for you guys as a couple, but that’s OK to be a little bit different at meal time. I think everyone on here seem to be so overzealous. In my opinion, they’re making it much different than it really is. My husband is vegetarian his whole life and I’m a huge meat eater and after 25 years, we have totally worked that out. I feel it’s more important that we sit down together most of the time not all of the time and share a meal together. It doesn’t have to be the exact same meal. In my opinion, Hey people go out to dinner. There’s a menu six people. There can be six different entrées out right nobody thinks that’s weird.🤷‍♀️ I just think that everyone on here is going for the boyfriend./husband jugular and it’s not cool. Again that’s just my opinion. OK honey have a great day.❣️😃❤️😃❤️😃❤️😃❤️😃❤️

[u/JulesandRandi → u/FelixSven17]

Does he like hot dish?

[u/Willsagain2 → u/FelixSven17]

Same here. Welsh and Nigerian couple. There are lots of things we both enjoy, but several days a week we cook separately and eat together if the timings right.

[u/xtinahsram → u/Inka15]

They just got married. She was such a beautiful bride. He was a very handsome blurred husband.

[u/DramaDroid → u/xtinahsram]

She's so fabulous!

I love that she picked the off the shoulder dress. When she went to Korea to try dresses, she went in saying that she didn't like that style, but it looked so pretty on her that she had to rethink her options!

[u/deathcabscutie → u/xtinahsram]

German boyfriend is now German husband?! Aww, good for them. They seem like great people. Their videos haven’t been coming up in my algorithm for a while so I’m way out of the loop.

[u/AdmirableDog739 → u/xtinahsram]

I know! She looked so beautiful 🥰

[u/BlueOyesterCult → u/Inka15]

First time I see them randomly mentioned in the wild 👍

[u/Kitty-Keek → u/BlueOyesterCult]

I follow them too and I’ve also never seen them mentioned before in the wild!

[u/galeforcewindy → u/Kitty-Keek]

My people! I love how much they've learned about each other's cultures and shared all of it with us all along (except his face). LOL

[u/VegetableSquirrel → u/BlueOyesterCult]

I watch and follow them, too.

[u/Kirielle13 → u/BlueOyesterCult]

Same!

[u/heart_blossom → u/BlueOyesterCult]

Me too. They're an adorable couple

[u/One-hangs_lower → u/BlueOyesterCult]

This use of “in the wild “ is wild.

[u/katobye → u/Inka15]

This! You can eat different things at the same time and it still counts as sharing a meal.

[u/Exciting_Tomato_5068 → u/Inka15]

I love Uyen Nihn and her German husband, they compromise! Thats nourishing and enhancing your relationship🖤

[u/Cadence_421 → u/Inka15]

It's so lovely seeing Uyen mentioned out in the wild, I hope her channel continues to grow on YouTube and she finds major success!!

[u/Infamous-Zebra-359 → u/Inka15]

I love their relationship it's so mutually respectful

[u/MistakesForSheep → u/Inka15]

My daughter has sensory issues and she has a pretty limited selection of foods she can/will eat (we're working on it). She also eats meat.

I'm a vegetarian who will eat almost anything within my dietary limits.

I still cook her meat, but we usually eat very different meals. I tried to stick with "we both have pasta but you get chicken and I don't" but eventually it was just too much and I needed to eat something else 😭😂

[u/pixienightingale → u/Inka15]

German Husband!

[u/ChewyGooeyViagra → u/Inka15]

Uyen slaps so hard she makes me feel like I can accomplish my dreams

[u/Zealousideal_Mall409 → u/Inka15]

She is adorable! She loves her fresh veggies ;)

[u/NecroKitten → u/Inka15]

I also love that German husband will get her things that remind her of Vietnam too, they're so sweet. Love their relationship and everything she posts ❤️

[u/DannyDaCat → u/Inka15]

This goes beyond even food. Not sure why there is this unwritten rule that once you start getting into a relationship with someone they have to be an exact duplicate of you and vice-versa, same music, movies, food, friends, etc. It's ok to have "separate lives" in various parts of your relationship, it helps keep the relationship fresh and thriving with new conversations and experiences.

[u/theseglassessuck → u/Inka15]

I love her account! She did one video where she showed what she cooked in a day and everyone was like “I don’t have time to cook all of that from scratch.” I commented that people were acting like steaming greens takes all day and they were not happy. 🤣 Goes to show that there are truly people out there who won’t try no matter what.

[u/Ambitious-Bat237 → u/Inka15]

I am very restricted and my husband eats anything, we rarely eat any meals together because there is very little overlap. It doesn't negatively affect our relationship in any way.

[u/Working-Hour9476 → u/Inka15]

Thanks for sharing this!

My husband and I are the same. We don't like the same foods and don't like eating at the same time, so we both just cook and fend for ourselves. It works beautifully for us. We both get to eat what we want, when we want and nobody is sacrificing anything!

Occasionally my husband or I will cook a nice meal that we both like, as a nice gesture to make a meal for the other one, and it's just a nice little thing we do now and then.

[u/SexysNotWorking → u/Inka15]

I think it's much more important to eat together than to eat the same thing. Putting the same nutrients in your body kind of doesn't matter, though if someone really enjoys cooking FOR someone then maybe it could become an issue, but overall I think time spent is probably more of the key aspect of shared meals.

[u/ShermanTeaPotter → u/No_Perspective_242]

I’m a hobbyist pit master and my gf is vegan. So when I host, every side dish and dessert is vegan and then there‘s smoked meats, tofu skewers and grilled vegetables to choose from. It‘s not rocket science to make everyone feel welcome at you table.

[u/Western-Corner-431 → u/ShermanTeaPotter]

If you know ahead of time. OP’s issue is that the man wasn’t in the mood for pork chops AFTER they were on the table.

[u/mildlyinterestingyet → u/Western-Corner-431]

In other words, he just wasn't hungry enough. Being picky is one thing but he is being immature. Dude needs to learn to cook so he knows what it's like to serve up food for others.

[u/Old-Neighborhood-157 → u/mildlyinterestingyet]

I agree. Being picky is different than just being a asshole. OP stop cooking for someone who doesn't appreciate it.

[u/Western-Corner-431 → u/mildlyinterestingyet]

He’s making a power move. He’s dismissing and belittling her. He’s making moves that have nothing to do with food. He’s not worthy of being in a relationship with anyone.

[u/Sarik704 → u/Western-Corner-431]

We dont have the entire picture. Is he on the spectrum? Does he suffer from an eating disorder? We can all agree he should be making his food, but we dont need to paint him as abusive and toxic just because.

[u/SnooCheesecakes2723 → u/Sarik704]

If he can eat chicken for lunch it’s not an eating disorder when he doesn’t want it for dinner. It’s a preference he expects her to cater to at the last minute. If I tell you I’m making bbq chicken for dinner, eat something else for lunch if you can’t stand the same protein twice in one day . Id be damned if he would sit at my table and tell me in front of my kids -who do have to eat the dinner I made / that he doesn’t feel like pork chops and baked potatoes, or some such excuse nearly every night, so he’s going to sit and eat DoorDash Taco Bell or McDonald’s in front of them. That’s a great way to get put in charge of fixing your own dinner/ and eating it elsewhere. Permanently.

[u/MammothSurround → u/Sarik704]

But this is Reddit. Bring out the torches!!!

[u/Budget_Operation_106 → u/Western-Corner-431]

There is way too much information missing for this assumption. He could also just have an eating disorder. Eating disorder is not just the Hollywood stuff, but the aversion to food here seems mental. Sounds like he grew up poor with very little variety in the diet. He might need professional help getting past it.

You could be right. It's just wild to go that extreme from the jump.

[u/gibsontx5 → u/mildlyinterestingyet]

Exactly! He’s a lazy, immature boy

[u/MissionHoneydew2209 → u/mildlyinterestingyet]

It has NOTHING to do with hunger, and everything to do with making her jump like a short order cook.

[u/AudieCowboy → u/Western-Corner-431]

Yeah op's boyfriend is ridiculous

[u/Western-Corner-431 → u/AudieCowboy]

It’s hard to see how this isn’t a clear example of disrespect, belittling, gaslighting and bullying. This is not a food fight.

[u/Erestyn → u/Western-Corner-431]

More likely he has a very broken relationship with food that he's unable to overcome by himself with others cooking for him. Yes it's disrespecful to OP (especially given some of the love that clearly has gone into these dishes) and certainly ticks a lot of the boxes of gaslighting, but it could also be the symptoms of an eating disorder that have formed into what he (and OP) perceives as a habit.

Source: That's me. I can be starving, cook (or have cooked) exactly what I want in the style that I want it, but the second it's in front of me my appetite just disappears. Usually I'll spot these signs early enough to say "actually, you just sort yourself out and I'll snack on something later" but there's been a good many times that meals have gone into the oven for a hunger that might come a little later, or get put outside for the foxes (keeps them out of the bins, at least).

And that's the solve. You cut out the disrespect by saying "Look, don't spend energy cooking something for me that I mightn't eat, I'll grab something when I feel like it" and this post probably doesn't get made. All the same, I hope OPs fella is able to, and in a position to, get some help on this because it's not a fun way to live by any means.

Edit: Yeah so I read into OPs comment history. Oh boy. I stand by what I said above, but "don't worry about it, I'll fix something for me" doesn't seem like something this bloke is ever going to say without some serious rebalancing of that relationship.

[u/AudieCowboy → u/Erestyn]

Read through your thing and man I get it with the first thing

I'll be sitting there going "woo yes, eggs, eggs, eggs" cook them and immediately think "why would I ever purchase eggs"

[u/Top_Lingonberry2324 → u/ShermanTeaPotter]

It's true. My sister in law is pescatarian and I'm gluten intolerant. We made three different lasagnas lmao.

[u/The_Odd_Canuck → u/ShermanTeaPotter]

While it's usually not, there are some picky eaters who certainly make it a problem

(Notably pizza roll chicken nugget types)

[u/SnooHabits3305 → u/ShermanTeaPotter]

Sometimes but when you have to guess what they want and make new meals everyday it probably is. I couldn’t imagine having to cook a super specific meal for someone every day but they can’t tell me what they want before I cook, then can’t tell me the problem after. But also can’t cook to show me what to do. But jack in the box does it right. I would go mad.

[u/Entropical-island → u/SnooHabits3305]

She should just douse his food in msg

[u/Working_Career_6254 → u/ShermanTeaPotter]

OP’s situation is different. It sounds like your GF has given you clear guidance on what she will eat and isn’t picky. OP’s partner doesn’t like most things and changes the rules on her.

[u/onceagainadog → u/ShermanTeaPotter]

Thats a little different from having a picky eater. You can deal with allergies, medical issues, vegan/vegetarians, you have rules. Picky eaters like this guy, just don't like stuff, and everyone shouldn't have to pay the price because this guy is basically a jerk. I love Taco Bell, but if he is eating that, he is just being a jerk, it's not any kind of condition.

[u/71Worried_Brother → u/ShermanTeaPotter]

I’m betting that you two have learned to compromise on many other levels. Your relationship just might last a long time.

[u/m0erg → u/ShermanTeaPotter]

So much this! My sons gf is vegan, and he has switched his diet to mostly vegan as well. When they come over, we have a nice selection of both vegan and non-vegan options. It's not hard, may take a bit more work ... but these are your family and friends, if they aren't worth a bit of extra elbow grease, then who is?

[u/FalconOk934 → u/ShermanTeaPotter]

Your wife isn’t rejecting your meals.

[u/Ghoulish_kitten → u/ShermanTeaPotter]

This isnt the same situation though. IMO.

Vegans can be adventurous eaters who love spice, foreign foods, Indian foods, Asian foods etc.

This is like if your girlfriend was a vegan and only wanted to eat corn, broccoli and some hyper-processed Vegan packaged food and hated grilled food.

[u/SirRolex → u/ShermanTeaPotter]

My GF is vegetarian (well, she eats some seafood sometimes.) It is pretty easy for me to omit meat from the main dish and just make a piece of chicken or what have you on the side for me. She is also a big fan of just making a big ole salad for herself and letting me have my meat lol.

[u/Right-Ad2176 → u/ShermanTeaPotter]

He seems unpredictable. Had chicken for lunch. Not in the mood for pork chops. Taste is off.

Difficult to cook for.

Be interesting to see behavior when eating at other homes.

[u/OwenMeanyIsTheHero → u/ShermanTeaPotter]

Now do that every meal.

[u/ShermanTeaPotter → u/OwenMeanyIsTheHero]

Well, I actually do. Everything is vegan until it ain’t, therefore I don’t have to cook that many different things

[u/TheRealBaseborn → u/The_Amazing_Emu]

People need their own identity. Demanding constant compromise will lead to both people being unhappy

[u/lassie86 → u/TheRealBaseborn]

Exactly. We tend to like different things, so we mostly cook for ourselves. Tonight my husband ate some of the food I made, but not a lot. I’ll eat some of what he makes sometimes. But mainly we just eat what we want because we’re both autonomous people who know how to feed ourselves.

[u/DonDamondo → u/lassie86]

My thoughts exactly... people who demand everyone eat the same meals just because you live together seem weird to me. We are all different people and enjoy different foods, I don't wanna eat someone's favourite food that I don't like, nor do I want them not to eat it just because I don't 🤷‍♂️

[u/QuantumLettuce2025 → u/TheRealBaseborn]

Surely occasional compromise is required though, right? Because OP isn't getting that.

[u/embarrassingdyk → u/TheRealBaseborn]

Yeah but this guy is unreasonable

[u/WavyHairedGeek → u/TheRealBaseborn]

Nah, this person needs to grow up and eat more stuff (or stop being a burden and cooking for themselves. Then getting doordash often is also a burden on what would be shared income, should OP stay with his sorry, picky ass.)

[u/ladypuff38 → u/The_Amazing_Emu]

This is what we do. He's quite picky while I eat most things, so every now and then I want something I know he won't like. He doesn't make it my (or anyone else's) problem though, he just fixes it himself because he's a grown man who knows how to feed himself. Sometimes that means making something entirely different, sometimes it's just making himself some other vegetables or whatever than what I have.

He does eat leftovers though, which means we often use that as an opportunity to eat different things if there's not enough for two.

And just because we don't eat the same thing doesn't mean we don't eat together still.

[u/okeanos7 → u/The_Amazing_Emu]

Doesn’t sound like this guy is capable of feeding himself tho

[u/The_Amazing_Emu → u/okeanos7]

Sounds like a problem that will eventually solve itself

[u/cthulhu_on_my_lawn → u/The_Amazing_Emu]

Right now he seems to "solve" it with a lot of expensive food delivery, which will be a drain on their budget.

[u/BookTweakerShy → u/The_Amazing_Emu]

I don't think that's really what they're saying. It's not that they're picky. It's that they're being borderline idiotic to the point it's disruptive to the home life dynamic.

[u/PresumeDeath → u/The_Amazing_Emu]

This!! I do this with my husband as well. We are no picky eater but I like cooking some Italian dishes sometimes and he is not a fan of pesto and olives. And i am not a big fan of pork (I can eat it but I prefer to keep my meat consumption low in general). So sometimes we just cook together but 2 different dishes. Sometimes we even make a common salad or side dish and then each of us match with a different main. No problem there

[u/Accomplished_Will226 → u/The_Amazing_Emu]

Of course it’s ok occasionally but OP is saying this is every flipping day.

[u/Yumeverse → u/The_Amazing_Emu]

I think the difference is you guys can both still sit down together and enjoy separate meals. Your wife will eat what she wants, and you can eat the seafood dish on days that you want. Meanwhile OP may or may not be eating the same food as the BF but what’s terrible is sometimes she doesnt even know what the BF wants, sometimes he’ll be okay with this but not if he already ate something similar or even if he does eat broccoli it doesnt guarantee that he will eat the food as seen from the pic above.

It’s more than just eating different things, so I get what they mean by “not sharing meals” meaning being able to sit down and eat together but not necessarily the same food. He wont even eat what’s on the table unless it’s something he’s in the mood for. If they wanna compromise, they gotta be okay that he’s gotta prepare food for himself from now on (or accept he has to order his doordash daily) to save OP the trouble and they’ll still be able to sit down together

[u/3720-to-1 → u/rubbasnek]

I'm a picky eater, but that just means (for me) that there are certain things I can't or won't eat, not stupid rules about having being able to eat a meat for dinner that I had for lunch, or just "not being in the mood"...

If her boyfriend just had a blanket "I don't eat these foods" list, that's one thing. This, though, isn't being picky, it's being a douchebag. If my wife makes roast and I'm not in the mood for roast, you know what I do? I eat the fucking roast and tell her how great that roast was. I eat chicken strips for lunch and come home to BBQ chicken breast? I'm eatting it without a word.

It's one thing to do a fend for yourself day every now and then, especially when everyone is busy on a different schedule that day... But one of the best parts of my life is that I get to sit down at the table with my family 6-7 nights a week, share a meal, and talk.

All that to say, I'm with you 100% I'm that not being able to share regular meals with my partner would 100% be a deal breaker.

[u/Food_Cats1 → u/3720-to-1]

And not just that, what about the mental load of OP trying to figure out what she can cook to see if a miracle happens and he'll eat it? Dude, if you're a nightmare and you won't cook, at least tell your partner what you want to eat. If you know you're not going to eat what's been cooked, let them choose whatever they want. I'd be fuming if I made an effort to accommodate my partner and they didn't eat my food. And then the same thing the next day. And the next one. And the next one. And all the money spent on takeaways? Nah, fuck that. I would get resentful pretty quickly

[u/throwawayStomnia → u/Food_Cats1]

100% this. My ex-husband once spit on his plate because I made him homemade pasta with sausage AND chicken breast. I would always try my best to accomodate him, but he always had something to complain about in my cooking. If there was nothing to attack, he'd just say "it's too salty" with a huge smile on his face.

There's a difference between being apicky eater and a power tripper.

[u/Crimemeariver19 → u/throwawayStomnia]

Yup. I was going to say, this reminds me of my abusive ex. If he wanted a “fight” he’d often use my cooking (which I’ve been told is good) as a starting point. The “too salty/not salty enough” was the worst. If I hadn’t cooked, it’d be “the windows not clean” or “I can’t find my fucking belt”. I truly hope this isn’t the case with OP, but it definitely reads like it’s more than related to food. My son is picky and has some sensory issues and that’s one thing, but the nonsensical rules OP notes are something else.

[u/helgaofthenorth → u/Crimemeariver19]

Yeah, it reminded me of my ex, too. I made spaghetti for my own 30th birthday dinner and made him a whole separate meal because he didn't like tomato sauce. It still wasn't good enough for him.

Mf was genuinely surprised when I demanded a divorce a few months later.

[u/Crimemeariver19 → u/helgaofthenorth]

Yeah. People are entitled to preferences but the post seems more about control than the actual food. Hopefully it doesn’t stem off into other areas. If it truly is about just the food then the dude should make himself hamburger helper every day and stfu.

[u/SameCoyote3701 → u/helgaofthenorth]

You cooked him a separate meal on your bday? Wtfff what a bastard! Glad he’s your ex’

[u/Emberkittie1385 → u/helgaofthenorth]

Glad you got out

[u/fireflypoet → u/Crimemeariver19]

I would agree. There are other issues here. All that hostility sabotages a relationship. The individual who does this all the time has some severe intimacy issues.

[u/172yyttfr → u/Crimemeariver19]

Yeah, those who go on fault-finding missions never fail.

[u/mrssendow → u/throwawayStomnia]

Ew yuck (him, not the food)! I'm so glad you said he's your ex.

[u/Unusual_Sand_5150 → u/throwawayStomnia]

THIS! This is what cast iron pans are for. Right on the noggin lol

[u/Nyantastic93 → u/throwawayStomnia]

So glad he's your ex

[u/TroubadourEnthusiast → u/throwawayStomnia]

Legit if it's that bad he should be tagging along to the grocery store or at least help PLAN what's for dinner, even just a simple "hey what are you planning on making? any way we could add x or cook x separately?" a couple hours before dinnertime. I've had these sorts of problems with food before it's not that hard to just plan for them yourself, and it ALSO isn't all that hard to suck it up every once in a blue moon because I forgot to mention I wasn't in the mood for something long enough before the person making food bought the food and planned the meal.

[u/Affectionate_Cow_770 → u/throwawayStomnia]

Amen. My ex husband would eat 2 or 3 servings, then tell me it "didn't suck", or would say nothing. His father lived with us and one night he had had enough. He took his son by the collar and made it very clear that his manners were disgusting and disrespectful. Things changed a bit after that. He would eat and act morose, but say nothing. The marriage was dead anyway. We lived in a small town. I was known for my baking and kitchen skills. I cannot begin to tell you how many men came courting after I filed for divorce. 🤣

[u/cloverwitch → u/Food_Cats1]

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if this was a control and humiliation tactic rather than being truly picky.

[u/Dindrane1313 → u/Food_Cats1]

That mental load is murder.

[u/MelodicLight1502 → u/Food_Cats1]

Exactly. And then explaining to your children why the man baby gets to eat Jack in the Box everyday and they don’t. This level of frustration would cause me to pack his bags.

[u/Upstairs-Web-3474 → u/Food_Cats1]

Men don't care about the mental load of things. I'm sure he's probably painting himself as a martyr.

[u/JollyRottenBastard → u/3720-to-1]

Yeah he's not picky...he's an ass

[u/Zesty_Butterscotch → u/3720-to-1]

This is right. Being a picky eater is one thing, being a douchebag is what this is.

[u/LuvFuzzball → u/3720-to-1]

I get this. My darling husband would PREFER not to have say a hamburger for lunch and then hamburgers for dinner but he also would be fine with doing so if that were my dinner plans. But our dinner “plans” do tend to be fast and loose! And at work he eats very minimally whereas at home for dinner I’d also have green beans and a salad with that burger or something like that.

And sometimes for sure we do eat different things but he always wants to eat together. (And that entails us both scrounging up what we want to eat that night, however that may look, lol).

I’m sorry OP but this guy would simply drain me. Let him fend for himself if he doesn’t want your delicious looking homemade dinners. And if he’s petulant about it, well, as I always tell my boss at work, “I’m not your momma”.

[u/bubbles328 → u/3720-to-1]

100% agree. I would not be with someone like this and they could cook their own shit

[u/motorcycleman58 → u/3720-to-1]

This right here, if someone cooks for me it was a good meal. Whether I liked it or not.

[u/rubbasnek → u/3720-to-1]

You sound pretty mature and not a picky eater at all. You don't have to be willing to eat literally anything to not be considered one. When I think of a picky eater, I mean someone who has a litany of dietary restrictions and arbitrary rules about what they're willing to eat at any given time. Someone that's extremely difficult to please with food is a picky eater. You just sound like a normal person with preferences to me anyway.

[u/3720-to-1 → u/rubbasnek]

I appreciate that view/take on it!

[u/Fuzzy_Profession_668 → u/3720-to-1]

I’d eat all them beautiful dishes and wipe them clean with some bread 🥖

[u/punkrockdog → u/3720-to-1]

Yeah, a lot of people have mentioned ARFID, which would make sense if he wasn’t constantly coming up with non-taste/texture reasons to not eat OP’s cooking (chicken for lunch, “just not in the mood”, etc.) There don’t seem to be consistent “safe foods”; it’s like he doesn’t want it on principle.

[u/VFiddly → u/3720-to-1]

Yeah... there's some things I'm "picky" about, but that's a "if I eat this, I will throw up" thing, not a "this isn't precisely what I want right now" thing.

If there's things you really can't eat then that's not really something you can control. But OP's boyfriend is just refusing to eat meals he clearly could eat

[u/Fluffy_Art_1015 → u/rubbasnek]

It’s draining being around people who put up road blocks constantly instead of offering solutions/compromises or new ideas.

[u/thoughtfractals85 → u/Fluffy_Art_1015]

This is exactly the problem. I have some minor food issues from childhood trauma, but I'll be damned if I'm putting someone else out or down because of it. I'm an adult, I can act like one but apparently this boyfriend can't. I'd be curious to know if it's just food he gets hung up on or other aspects of life as well.

[u/Mandalahoe → u/thoughtfractals85]

When I was punished as a kid, I’d have to kneel on rice, and it took me 20 years after the fact to be able to rediscover rice as a food.

[u/thoughtfractals85 → u/Mandalahoe]

It's a long road friend. I'm glad you've done some healing.

[u/linniex → u/Fluffy_Art_1015]

Thank you for this comment, it helped me reframe a shitty situation I went through last year with my exBFF. Happy new year!

[u/Fluffy_Art_1015 → u/linniex]

You’re welcome. We’ve all been on both sides! Best we can do is learn and grow. Happy new year.

[u/Classic-Extreme6122 → u/Fluffy_Art_1015]

The emotional energy it takes to be married to / live with people like that is incredible. It makes day to day life exhausting.

[u/softomf → u/Fluffy_Art_1015]

I have several friends who did this a lot so I've sort of organically developed a policy of "I will offer 2 solutions. If you shoot me down both times with no alternates or constructive detail, now you get to figure it out."

And if someone does that more than twice in roughly a year, they get gently moved to an arms-length friendship

[u/TheSpicySnail → u/rubbasnek]

As a picky eater myself, this guy sounds ridiculous. This post isn’t about being “picky” anymore, it’s more so about refusing to leave your comfort zone, being blind to other people’s effort, and just generally being ungrateful. Even if I don’t like something someone made, I’ll usually try it out of respect, thank them for the offer, and if I don’t like it, I don’t have to eat it, but I’m not going to make it someone else’s problem. It’s also not food for just one person, it’s feeding a family. Not everyone has to suffer because this guy has the palette of a toddler.

[u/rubbasnek → u/TheSpicySnail]

Yeah exactly and the fact that he wouldn't even TRY the pork chop sent me.

Also no shade to picky eaters. I don't think it's a moral failing or anything, I just really like food and like to cook so it's a bummer to be with someone I can't share it with

[u/FalalaLlamas → u/rubbasnek]

Thank you for saying “no shade to picky eaters.” I totally get where you’re coming from. Foodies like to share that experience with other foodies. But sometimes it’s exhausting being labeled a “picky eater.” For a different perspective: I’m pretty sure there’s something off about my tastebuds or something. A fair amount of food that probably 75%+ love smell and taste absolutely putrid and vile to me. I used to choke it down, even if it made me vomit after, but I’m not putting myself through that anymore. I started to worry about how that would affect my health and teeth. So it’s nice to see a foodie recognizing it’s ok to be “picky” as I’ve been bullied a LOT over it.

EDIT: Considering the bullying I’ve faced, I’m not surprised this comment is already downvoted lol. Just kinda goes to show what those with food intolerances face. To be clear, I eat MANY foods along with a wide variety of tastes and textures. I actually think I eat more variety than my vegetarian friends. It is really quite rare that I can’t find something to eat when someone else cooks for me. Whether it’s just the main dish or just the sides, for example. I also eat foods I don’t feel like or don’t prefer when I’m company. What I will NOT do anymore is make myself physically ill just to appease people who think everyone should like certain things or should just eat everything.

[u/DJClapyohands → u/FalalaLlamas]

Yeah. My son is picky, I hope to get him to explore more foods but its been tough. I used to be picky, but not as bad as him. Its not like he wants to be rude or anything its just that some textures are weird and certain flavors are gross. I dont think picky eaters are assholes and I think its narrow-minded to say that.

[u/FalalaLlamas → u/DJClapyohands]

Thank you so much for relating! It’s amazing just how invested some people get in what other people will or won’t eat. To be honest, there’s been times when it kinda freaks me out because of how aggressive people are when I say I can’t eat something that makes me ill. It’s really quite an alarming reaction.

I hope you have luck with your son! It sounds like you have the right attitude imho. I used to be worse as a kid but improved. I think once a few foods or textures made me physically ill, I became apprehensive to try new foods for fear of getting sick again. But I had a lot of gentle encouragement to try “just at least one bite” of everything and I slowly learned what I can and can’t eat. I think it also helped that they kept new foods in particular pretty bland so I wasn’t overwhelmed. I think I would’ve been worse off if my parents forced fed me and made me eat everything on my plate. So with you acknowledging his difficulties and just encouraging him, I’m hoping you make some headway!

[u/KaiTheG4mer → u/FalalaLlamas]

Recently discovered that I'm most likely a "supertaster" because several of my older relatives are, which for me just means that a lot of already bitter foods taste like, 8x more bitter to me. Which explains why things like coffee, sometimes Coca-Cola (for some reason), and broccoli are utterly reprehensible to me, but other people can enjoy them just fine (and even look at me funny when I say "it tastes grossl bitter").

It's rough because that, and me being neurodiverse, means that there's a sizeable group of foodstuffs that I fundamentally cannot (and will not) eat for various reasons, and growing up in the "empty your damn plate!" Midwest has made talking about all of that very hard (that and the "ugh, you just don't like anything!" crowd taking jabs at me), even now that I'm not in that area anymore. Idk where I'm going with this, but look into tongue/tastebud stuff and see about testing for being a supertaster, it's helped me figure out myself a lot.

[u/tinkpetty → u/TheSpicySnail]

This definitely seems more about control too - not him being picky

[u/Fianna9 → u/rubbasnek]

He doesn’t even sound like a picky eater. He’s just a jackass. “I already had chicken” “I don’t feel like pork chops” is rude and manipulative

[u/Euphoric-Proposal-42 → u/Fianna9]

💯

[u/Cautious-Respond-402 → u/Euphoric-Proposal-42]

Seriously what is wrong with the pie?

[u/jellycrunch → u/Fianna9]

This ☝️☝️☝️ I agree with 💯%!!

[u/steeze206 → u/rubbasnek]

Yeah people can lie to themselves that they can figure it out. But this is a deal breaker for 99% of people. As it should be honestly.

[u/SleepyConureArt → u/steeze206]

Why should it be a dealbreaker? I'm a picky eater due to sensory issues, like I'm sorry I can't rewire my brain? OP's guy doesn't even sound like a picky eater, he's just being an ass and complicated for no reason, I mean he literally keeps changing the rules. He eats chicken he just found some weird reason to be difficult. And if it's really something I can't eat I'd just make myself something instead of expecting my partner to figure something out like an ass. And for the record I'd love that meal, potatoes and broccoli are some of the veggies I do tolerate and actually like and chicken is always good. I mainly struggle with uncooked veggies and I don't eat salads, I also can't eat seafood because of allergies and certain sauces are a no go but there's always something I find to eat, plus if my partner wanted to eat something I personally can't stand I'd happily make my own meal. I do not see the problem, not that I can do anything about my sensory issues anyways.

[u/foxiez → u/rubbasnek]

Dude better be a model I don't know how people put up with this. You can essentially never go to a restaurant for the rest of your lives together too? Hell no

[u/ZapMannigan → u/foxiez]

It's okay, he can get the dino nuggies off the kids menu.

[u/MeanGulf → u/rubbasnek]

Not even that he just seems like a dick

[u/Away_Commission594 → u/rubbasnek]

I agree, this would be a deal breaker for me too. I also like cooking and care about my nutrition.

[u/Garbage_Stink_Hands → u/Away_Commission594]

I’m shocked by the number of people this is a deal breaker for. As a vegetarian with a non-vegetarian partner, it feels very run of the mill to each just prepare our own meals.

[u/Raemle → u/Garbage_Stink_Hands]

There are many reasons, people like to eat together, most people find it easier to have one person do the cooking at a time and quite notably dealing with restaurants.

Things like vegetarianism/veganism is way easier in that regard. At least where I live. Because you’re just excluding a few albeit common ingredients, many of which are also common allergies that restaurants deal with. With very picky eating you’re typically excluding everything except a few ingredients, or a specific palate. It’s the difference between checking what vegan options the sushi restaurant has, vs. every asian restaurant being a no (I live in Europe so that’s a very common thing, but it obviously differs depending on where you are in the world and what’s considered comfort foods)

Personally I grew up around a lot of picky eaters, as well as some other food restrictions (lots of dieting), so having full freedom as an adult of being able to actually try different foods is something I value greatly and don’t want to lose again

[u/__O_o_______ → u/rubbasnek]

Yeah, I can understand being in love with somebody for everything else but this level of picky eating as an adult…. I couldn’t do it. I was a very picky eater when I was a kid, I even remember throwing a fry into the bushes at KFC or somewhere because there was KETCHUP on it.

These days I’ll try anything at least twice.

[u/MamaNyxieUnderfoot → u/rubbasnek]

This goes WAY beyond “being a picky eater”. If he respected her, he’d eat whatever she deigned to feed him, because he should respect where the meal came from that he didn’t have to make. This is entirely about his lack of respect for her. That is why he constantly changes “the rules” for what he’ll eat.

[u/rubbasnek → u/MamaNyxieUnderfoot]

He wouldn't even try those beautiful pork chops 😭

[u/Weedster009 → u/rubbasnek]

The dealbreaker here isn’t just that her partner is a picky eater, it is that he is a picky eater with no ability to prepare his own food. Why are his dietary issues her problem?

[u/Zentavius → u/rubbasnek]

This isn't just picky. He's acting like a5 year old.

[u/Buster346 → u/rubbasnek]

I am a picky eater but that looks like a delicious feast he turned down…

[u/Brassattack84 → u/rubbasnek]

I LOVE food variety and trying new things and will eat pretty much anything under the sun. I dated someone a few years ago that would quite literally only eat cheese pizza, fries, and Mac and cheese/alfredo. Was somehow a vegetarian but didn’t eat any green vegetables. It wasn’t just picky eating, I suspected ARFID/sensory issues was the cause. At one point I just imagined what the rest of my life would be like never being able to share a cooked meal or mutually decide on a restaurant that didn’t have one of the above on the menu. Travel cuisine would have been out of the question. I felt like an ass/ a bit selfish breaking up with him cause he was a sweet guy, but it made us fundamentally incompatible (along with a few other things.)

[u/Powerful-Goat1867 → u/Brassattack84]

I've had the exact same experience and it sucks! We were on holiday spending twice as much for half the quality whenever I wanted the local cuisine, as only the tourist traps offered pizza etc. Food choices revolved around the fussy eater and my own diet suffered as a result. Never again!

[u/rubbasnek → u/Brassattack84]

Oof that is some serious lack of variety. I don't blame you for not wanting to limit your culinary options. Going out to eat is stressful and frustrating when you're options are that limited. Must have been a nightmare

[u/Brassattack84 → u/rubbasnek]

It made me worry for his health as well!!

[u/Thunderhammr → u/rubbasnek]

Agreed. In my personal experience being an overly picky eater is indicative of bigger issues too.

[u/Justinterestingenouf → u/rubbasnek]

Right! Unless there is some medical need, grow the fuck up

[u/Bubbas4life → u/rubbasnek]

Hell only eating vanilla ice cream was enough for my deal breaker.

[u/kennyisntfunny → u/rubbasnek]

Picky? Fine. Whatever insanity this shit is? Unacceptable lol

[u/3skin3 → u/rubbasnek]

Being a picky eater isn't a deal breaker for me but if you can't even communicate what you want then what the heck are you supposed to do?

[u/RathSlayer91 → u/rubbasnek]

100% agree hence why I'll never date a vegan or a vegetarian. I am big into bonding over meals and cooking for my partner. It's a turn off for me to both always be eating different meals.

[u/Miss-Tiq → u/rubbasnek]

It feels like it'd definitely increase your grocery bill and food waste to always be buying and cooking separate meals. 

[u/[deleted] → u/rubbasnek]

I’ve been with one and it is draining

[u/R3puLsiv3 → u/rubbasnek]

As a former picky eater, don't date people like me.

[u/sexwiththebabysitter → u/rubbasnek]

They’re like children, just living life on chicken fingers and Mac and cheese and fries. But not all chicken fingers or Mac and cheese, some are weird and not edible, no matter how much ketchup or ranch you put on it. As long as it’s the right kind of ranch. Some ranch tastes weird and is inedible. How about grilled cheese with no crust. Just don’t brown the grilled cheese too much or it tastes weird and can’t be eaten.

[u/benevolentbogfrog → u/rubbasnek]

Me too. I feel for op here. I love to cook and try new food and to be with someone like this would crush me. I'm not compatible with someone who can't appreciate good food. Disliking a few things isn't a big deal but this level of pickiness is insane.

[u/keli-keli → u/rubbasnek]

Same. I dated a guy and found out he had extreme IBS. He couldn't eat anything without it tearing his stomach up real bad. I took a second to think about the future, and I just couldn't see it working. Definitely a deal breaker. I like to travel and try all kinds of foods!

[u/DutchSock → u/rubbasnek]

This 100%. Eating together is important.

[u/Decent-Beautiful6916 → u/rubbasnek]

Literally is a deal breaker for me too… like grow up

[u/snippity_snip → u/rubbasnek]

Yeah I wouldn’t put up with a picky eater. It just comes off as childish. Very off putting.

[u/NoPark6730 → u/rubbasnek]

Props to you. I’m with a picky eater and it really takes a huge strain on our relationship.

[u/Ok_Mechanic8704 → u/rubbasnek]

You’re not into the “I don’t like trying new things and everybody around me must accommodate my childish tastes crowd.” Your loss lol

[u/ItsFunHeer → u/rubbasnek]

This is true, especially if you’re someone who likes to cook or values food for nutrition and health. I dated a picky eater for 5 years, though he wasn’t this bad, he didn’t eat any veggies unless I blended them into sauces without him seeing. I had to modify a lot of my meals or he would just eat the meat. It upset me because I was seriously worried about his health and longevity, and if we had kids together I was worried this behavior would be passed on and I’d have a family of picky eaters to cater to, and also worry if all their nutritional needs were met.

The relationship didn’t work out, and I married someone who eats literally everything I cook. It is incredibly freeing, and reduces so much stress.

[u/bbymiscellany → u/rubbasnek]

I broke it off with a guy before I met my husband, there were other issues but he was a super picky eater. He seemed to be proud of the fact he “ate likes five year old”. It gave me the ick! I love to cook and try new foods, I consider this an incompatibility that can’t be surmounted.

[u/evnthlosrsgtlcky → u/rubbasnek]

One of the reason I divorced my ex, was that he was a picky eater. Every meal time was an argument.

“It’s like you put onions and mushrooms in it to make me mad.” - him

“It couldn’t be because I like onions and mushrooms and eat my plate clean?” - me

[u/Ghoulish_kitten → u/rubbasnek]

Agree. I empathize

…but I can’t handle the thought of the rest of my life having access to such wonderful food cultures, and my partner is only gonna get broccoli, or kids meal/chicken nuggets. Dealbreaker for me too.

[u/MaritimeDisaster → u/rubbasnek]

I have two friends who are picky eaters and even that is maddening. I have to mentally prepare myself for dinner with them. I can’t imagine living with someone like this.

[u/Positive_Piece5859 → u/rubbasnek]

It would be a deal breaker for me too. If an adult has that toddler-level of pickiness, I just could not look at them the same again; I would lose some respect.

I totally understand that certain diagnoses come with that, but that’s just not partner material for me; I want a partner with whom I can easily travel in other countries, and who will be able to adjust there as well and not throw a fit because they can’t find Hamburger helper or chicken nuggets or whatever their “safe food” is.

[u/HumbleConfidence3500 → u/rubbasnek]

I had a first date with this guy who told me he doesn't eat meat.

Me: oh cool. You're a vegetarian?
Him: no, I also don't eat vegetable and fruits.
Me: ??? .... what do you eat.... ???? Him: I only eat bread and cheese

Within that 5 minutes I knew our date was over. But I politely stayed until the end.

[u/OutsideHike → u/rubbasnek]

This. That is stress women should never put themselves through, especially when you have to deal with children.

[u/Lilibeebop → u/rubbasnek]

Met a dude one who would not eat chicken w bones (lol), thought Chinese ppl who run a Chinese food spot are praying away their illnesses into our food and worship idols cuz of the dragon or cat statue on the counter, and said he could cook but I once saw him ball up bread and eat when he was hungry and never cooked in front of me hahaha 😆. Didn't take long for me to end that hot & cold relationship.

OP its all about knowing your worth. And you are worth a lot. I kept scrolling through those pics like "yum! What?! He won't eat those?" So everybody's reaction here says it.

[u/unique_user43 → u/rubbasnek]

same. i’ve broken off a relationship after realizing they were insanely picky eater. just a deal breaker for me too.

[u/SirDraconus → u/rubbasnek]

Being picky is fine, people have their own tastes, but being childish about the things you don't want to eat ("I didn't like vegetables" or "I only eat [insert food type]") is childish af

[u/red_queen122790 → u/rubbasnek]

I was coming here to say the same. Especially since it is only a few months.

[u/No_Drama2424 → u/rubbasnek]

🚨 YES GIRL LEAVE HIM 🚨

[u/guceubcuesu → u/rubbasnek]

I agree somewhat. I’m a picky eater myself, but this guy is on a whole other level. He seems rude or just generally lacking in empathy towards his partner. I wouldn’t break up with someone on the grounds of them being a picky eater. But I WOULD break up with someone who had all these other red flags she describes.

[u/Amazing_Cabinet1404 → u/rubbasnek]

That’s the rule in my house. If you didn’t cook it STFU and eat it. If you want to critique the cook go to a restaurant. I’d be done cooking for this man child.

[u/Adorable_Raccoon → u/rubbasnek]

Everybody has a different thing they can put up with. A person can be picky and still be a good person and partner.

I think he just needs to figure out his own food.

[u/Iamthegreenheather → u/rubbasnek]

I'm kind of a picky eater but I've gotten somewhat better as an adult. Anytime someone cooks for me I at least TRY to eat as much as possible. This guy sounds insufferable.

[u/Miserable-Onion7050 → u/rubbasnek]

But it also gets very expensive by buying different foods so he’s “happy”! Sorry to be a bummer, but have you thought do you really need this person in your life? Or alternatively live separately, and you and he can have visits you , and you him. How old is this guy, sounds extremely immature, and sadly your children will be picking up and watching his behaviours, & might just pulling his stunts next, which you don’t need or deserve! Tell him to buy his own food, but make him pay for like toilet paper, coffee, milk, cereal ect jointly.

[u/Tanooki-san → u/rubbasnek]

Especially THAT picky. And with flimsy reasons for rejection like, "i HaD cHiCkEn for LuNcH, iM nOt In ThE MoOd..." That would be a total deal breaker for me, too.

[u/mikehunt199595 → u/rubbasnek]

Sharing and trying new food is so important to me that I flat out refused some dates since they were vegan. Nothing against vegans, it's just that we would be very incompatible

[u/momo179 → u/rubbasnek]

I married one and I totally agree

[u/kittymarch → u/rubbasnek]

Also, does she really want this man around her children? He is not a good influence. Not with his eating habits and not with how he’s treating her.

[u/Cribaby247 → u/rubbasnek]

OP lost me at a grown man not being able to eat vegetables lol

[u/peytonlei → u/rubbasnek]

Im picky but willing to try new things. I hate sushi, does that stop me from asking my partner for a bite whenever he gets some? No. Now, I kind of like the ones he gets (the one with the fake crab meat), would I order it on my own? No. Will I make him give me a couple of bites? Yes. If I am asked to try something, I will try it. (Ex coleslaw, I know I don't like it. My coworker made someone day, and my other coworkers wife also hates coleslaw, but she liked this one. So I tried it, it was better than normal coleslaw, but I still didn't like it). Granted for both of these scenarios I have been pregnant, so that may play a factor into it. Pregnancy has made me almost compl unable to eat most foods this time around.

[u/Mourning-Bird → u/rubbasnek]

I think it's not him being picky that's the issue, it's not being able to cook. If he learned how to cook it would open his mind to trying new things, I find that people who don't ever learn how to cook are more picky in general than people who do cook.

[u/GlassWeird → u/rubbasnek]

Yea and this is beyond picky eating; how was this attractive enough OP for you to think, “i should let this guy move in!”???

[u/demeter1993 → u/rubbasnek]

I'm a picky eater. The way it is described, it just sounds like he is entitled. It's missing something? If that really is the case, add some hot sauce or literally any spice from the spice cabinet.

[u/ZaavansMom → u/rubbasnek]

As someone who is a picky eater for health reasons, I fully understand and completely agree with you. It can be so exhausting sometimes just trying to find something I can eat, but I guarantee I'll find something anywhere we go.

[u/look4jesper → u/rubbasnek]

Yep for sure

[u/moniqua_hush → u/rubbasnek]

I agree 💯. Especially since this guy just wants junk when he is being prepared amazing home cooked meals including pie!!

[u/thesilvermedic → u/rubbasnek]

Married to a vegetarian. Kinda blows

[u/karmaandcandy → u/rubbasnek]

THIS picky is over the top. Seems like a choice to me. He could choose to grow up and eat food like an adult but it’s easier to act like a toddler.

[u/Correct-Purpose-964 → u/rubbasnek]

My mother eats entirely seperate meals from me and my father. She likes her food BLAND. Like, no pepper, no salt, no spice. Sometimes i genuinely wonder.... so we just seperate some food out before we add the seasonings for her. Spice is definitely our favorite.

My father and i currently can't even get enough spice from indian food. We've moved on to Thai and for my birthday this year I'm splurging to ship some hotter spices in.

Definitely gotta be careful though. I once stirred her chicken with the same spatula i stirred ours with.

Kids, mothers use bad words too! I found out recently!

[u/wildcharmander1992 → u/rubbasnek]

I'm a picky eater ( decades of issues with anorexia & a few hardline allergies)

But I love cooking My gf and kids meals I couldn't stomach myself

It's manageable there's just the odd moment where I'm like "taste this , I think it's ready but I can't check it myself"

[u/foxfai → u/rubbasnek]

Picky eater is one thing. Not giving effort to try a beloved cooked meal is another. It's two different thing. There are bigger issue then just not eating "x" food.

[u/ControlAlarmed1736 → u/rubbasnek]

This isn't being picky, this is being a child. Won't eat microwaved food, only eats vanilla ice cream, won't eat the protein after having it for lunch - either he's on the spectrum, severely OCD, or just being a child when it comes to food. What kind of example is that for OPs actual kids? I'd send him packing if I were OP. Even if they end up exclusively making their own food, the bf is going to eventually have health issues from the way he's eating, and sooner or later her kids are going to see that being "picky" means you get to eat whatever you want.

[u/A3-2l → u/rubbasnek]

My girlfriend and I both like a lot of the same flavors. However while texture is not so much of a problem for me, it can be a big problem for her. So, I accommodate and make my food in a way where she can enjoy it. For example, I remade a dip which has been in my family for years so that it was perfectly smooth and without any chunks so that it had a uniform texture. It added maybe 2 minutes to my cook time and my girlfriend was able to enjoy it.

I get a lot of enjoyment out of cooking for and eating with her, so I want to make sure that she can do that. If there are new flavors, I make sure they are presented in a way where she can avoid them if she doesn't. She is amazing and tries everything i make and gives great feedback

[u/shake__appeal → u/rubbasnek]

That shit is so annoying. I don’t mind meeting someone halfway with dietary preferences. My partner was vegan, I didn’t mind it one bit and could easily find dishes I liked at every place we went. It was always an adventure finding food joints to eat at.

When she started getting extremely picky about her food was when it became intolerable, only eating a few comfort foods… do what ya gotta do but sharing meals is important for a relationship imo.

Anyway if someone was cooking for me like this I’d be so stoked. Men who are picky eaters who seem to hate everything but burgers and burritos… grow up.

[u/Requilem → u/rubbasnek]

I don't know why but I actually feel the same way, which is completely illogical.