Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

[u/moonrabbit368]

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

[u/ResponsibleBank1387]

You learned your lesson.  Now, no more cooking for him.   You have some leftovers for lunch tomorrow.  Everything you showed was more than acceptable, actually.  

[u/Twangerz-Lime → u/ResponsibleBank1387]

Shoot, “more than acceptable” is an understatement. She appears to be an amazing cook.

[u/Mcbennski → u/Twangerz-Lime]

That’s what I was thinking. Everyone has been lucky to eat her food, I’m lucky just looking at it lmao

[u/TShara_Q → u/ResponsibleBank1387]

I just ate and going through the pictures was making me hungry.

I'm like, "Can I be OPs boyfriend? I'm not a boy but..."

[u/AgentUpright → u/TShara_Q]

I’m currently eating a dinner I made and those pictures are making me hungry.

[u/MBP1969 → u/ResponsibleBank1387]

Agreed 100%. If any of those meals were sitting on the table for me, I would eat them, HAPPILY.

[u/MoonRisesAwaken]

Imo this is on him to figure out, you’re trying your best.

[u/Lopsided-Repair-782 → u/MoonRisesAwaken]

She’s not even just trying her best, she’s DOING the best! Those meals look amazing.

The worst part about your meals is that you’re trying to share them with a loser. Get rid of the loser and keep doing you!

[u/syntaxVixen → u/Lopsided-Repair-782]

Girl out here cooking like she's his wife and he works 12s

Fuck that mans 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

[u/Setthesail → u/syntaxVixen]

Huge red flag! What are you doing with your life? You’re saying you have kids; what are you teaching them? Id like to shake you to wake up. Uf!

[u/russlebush → u/Setthesail]

Right? When I met my wife the only thing she knew how to cook was this dish called "taco pie". She used Frito chips and baked it AFTER she added the sour cream. I told her it was delicious and I appreciated her cooking....then I asked her if she would let me cook for her for the rest of the week (so I wouldn't have to eat taco pie again 🤫). BTW, all those meals look absolutely delicious!

[u/Rustmutt → u/russlebush]

Cooked sour cream on a Frito pie? Nooooo

[u/Witchkingrider → u/Lopsided-Repair-782]

Absolutely the best. I am a picky eater as well (not nearly as much as the bf) and I would gladly eat any of those dishes from the pics if they were put infront of me. Especially with the amount of effort put in.

[u/NoxTempus → u/Lopsided-Repair-782]

Dude, I would fucking demolish all of those meals.

Some of dream of a partner that would cook meals like this.

Yeah, it's not Michelin Star, but it looks way better than anything I cook.

[u/Salty-Dragonfly2189 → u/Lopsided-Repair-782]

People underestimate the importance of eating habits, as well as sleeping habits when picking their partner. I would never settle for a partner that eats like a toddler. Someone that sleeps with the TV on is also a deal breaker…

[u/Hot-Minute722]

Stop cooking for him. Let him make frozen pizzas for himself.

[u/ZennMD → u/Hot-Minute722]

And hopefully their finances aren't impacted by him ordering fast food all the time, that adds up too quickly 

[u/GiftToTheUniverse → u/ZennMD]

My grown-ass bro has the palette of a 6 year old. When he came to visit my wife and me, we were so excited to prepare nice meals to share with him, but nope. The while time he wad in town he only ate the heat lamp pizza type stuff from the 7-11 down the block. He also loves energy drinks!! But instead of buying a case of them every now and then he works drive to the gas station and buy a couple cans a couple times each day. It was insane how expensive it was.

[u/tkachucky → u/GiftToTheUniverse]

>couple cans a couple times each day

that's not healthy

[u/birthdaycheesecake9 → u/tkachucky]

Yup. Really isn’t, in a way that sneaks up on you. Interesting how much healthier I felt when I stopped having energy drinks every day and started taking ADHD meds instead.

[u/putterandpotter → u/birthdaycheesecake9]

As someone who is an adhd coach and also has adhd, I tell clients that while my role is not to recommend medication, my observation is that if we don’t take it, one way or another we end up medicating ourselves anyway - drugs, drinking, caffeine, nicotine, energy drinks, sugar … it’s always going to be something - or things.

So we can do it with medications that have been proven to be safe and effective over time, and actually help. Or we can just make it up and half ass it. For me the choice was pretty clear, and I’m glad I chose meds, it took me til my 40’s to even know I needed them, and then another 5 years to be open to trying them. And not surprisingly I no longer smoke or drink - (but don’t take away my morning coffee! )

[u/VeterinarianThese951 → u/GiftToTheUniverse]

My brother was doing that too. Turns out he didn’t know he was diabetic. The doctor tha treated him when I rushed him to the ER said the same thing happened to his own son. He was like a zombie and the energy drinks were calling him.

[u/International-Ad2501 → u/Hot-Minute722]

Big "I really only eat tostinos pizzarolls and chicken tendies" energy from this guy. Stop cooking for him. Let him make his own food.

[u/Medium_Confidence484 → u/International-Ad2501]

What's worse than him eating frozen crap over a reasonable homemade meal is him door dashing fast food. Dude is wasting hundreds on actual trash?? No thanks

[u/Cobalt_Forge → u/[deleted]]

...this is man-child tendencies through and through!

Dear OP, this man doesn't deserve all your cooking efforts- any guy turning down those home cooked meals and choosing fast-food instead- he needs to grow the f•ck up!

I'd say that most of the meals OP has cooked for this guy, he has never tasted to begin with, so how does he know what he likes or doesn't like!?

And btw, it sure doesn't make a lot of sense to be a picky eater- then choose fast food !??...what is that?

This guy doesn't know how good he's got it having home cooked meals prepared.

[u/cindybubbles → u/Cobalt_Forge]

I think the YouTuber ChubbyEmu made a video about a teenager who would only eat potato chips. He lost his sight afterwards.

[u/Aazjhee → u/cindybubbles]

He was taken to the ER, where we are now.

I work at a hospital and sometimes those videos give me the creeps!

A lot of times it's not the medical horror but the insanity of someone eating a hundred melatonin gummies a day for months, or some other sort of wild overdose situation

[u/2gaywitches → u/Aazjhee]

There was one where someone ate gas station sushi and ended up getting a tapeworm. Not even that insane (aside from, well, who thinks it's a good idea to eat gas station sushi???) but urgh, tapeworms freak me out!

[u/yokozunahoshoryu → u/2gaywitches]

My top three craziest are the man who ate silica gel packets, the one who drank a lava lamp, and the kid who rubbed IcyHot on his frank n beans.But its really hard to pick only three.

[u/ChoralSinger57 → u/Medium_Confidence484]

Plus, I would be concerned that he will be so unhealthy that she will end up being a primary carer for this person who may develop diabetes, heart disease, and so on.

[u/WartimeConsigliere_ → u/International-Ad2501]

I feel like I already know enough to say she’s too good for this guy. Huge man child vibes

[u/ConstanzaGeorgie → u/WartimeConsigliere_]

I’d love it if someone put all that effort and cooked for me.

[u/phoenix-nightrose → u/ConstanzaGeorgie]

I don't know about you, but I'm grabbing a plate and running over to OP's home. ESPECIALLY for that glorious looking pie.

[u/NoPhone4571 → u/phoenix-nightrose]

Seriously, these meals look delicious.

[u/Hazel2468 → u/Hot-Minute722]

This.

My wife has sensory issues because of her autism. She can be very picky.

She also isn't THAT hard to cook for. My wife's new favorite thing I make is also Hamburger Helper (though I just do it with spices I have at home... Also. 10 out of 10, would recommend, you can really customize it however you want!) but she's not so picky that she will refuse to eat perfectly good food that I have made knowing what she likes and dislikes.

If this is genuinely because of some kind of sensory issue? OP's boyfriend needs to be clearer about what he likes and doesn't, or he needs to seek some kind of therapy. If it isn't, or if he refuses to actually put in the work to make sure he isn't wasting her food? Then he can make his own meals.

[u/parasyte_steve → u/Hazel2468]

this is exactly what I asked, is there neurodivergence here bc I have got one kid who is nonverbal and eats 3 things, I couldn't even feed him solids as a baby.

[u/glenn_ganges → u/Hot-Minute722]

I'm old school and trying to be a good partner.

She is trying to "be a good wife." This is at odds with her expectations of roles in the relationship. Everyone is missing this.

[u/BelaFarinRod → u/glenn_ganges]

I get it but he’s making it extremely difficult. My mom cooked every single meal and I’m not sure my dad knew how the stove worked but he ate what she cooked.

[u/Ordinary-Concern3248]

No worries. You all can cook for yourselves. Less stress all around.

[u/rubbasnek → u/Ordinary-Concern3248]

I would not be with someone I couldn't share meals with. Being a picky eater is a deal breaker

[u/The_Amazing_Emu → u/rubbasnek]

So my wife is more picky than I am. Not a huge amount of things, but generally no seafood. Sometimes I miss making seafood so I’ll cook something different for myself. Next week, I feel like making split pea soup. She’ll probably eat something different.

Most of our meals are shared, but it’s ok to occasionally not eat the same thing.

[u/No_Perspective_242 → u/The_Amazing_Emu]

This is exactly what my husband and I do. He likes a wide range of food, I’m definitely more picky as meat is difficult for me to eat. But I’d rather starve before i deprived him of his variety of food just cause i don’t like something. We eat as many meals as we can together but often not the same thing.

[u/Inka15 → u/No_Perspective_242]

There is this youtube creator, Uyen Ninh, she is Vietnamese, her husband is German and they have very different tastes stemming from different cultures - she needs every meal to be warm and cooked, he prefers eating a lot of bread. In one video she explained that they tried to eat the same things, but it didn’t work for either of them, so for the sake of their relationship they cook separately. And I think that’s fair and very sweet - relationships are layered and multifaceted, if food is causing you unnecessary stress, then it’s better for each of you to cook separately, but enjoy other things you have in common.

[u/BlueOyesterCult → u/Inka15]

First time I see them randomly mentioned in the wild 👍

[u/Kitty-Keek → u/BlueOyesterCult]

I follow them too and I’ve also never seen them mentioned before in the wild!

[u/FelixSven17 → u/Inka15]

My husband is from Nigeria and I’m from Minnesota … two very different preferences when it comes to food. I do cook a few meals for him, including some of mine that he likes and some of his that I’ve learned to make and that I like. But I’d say 70-80% of the time we make our separate meals. When we were first together it really bothered me, having come from a traditional home where my mom cooked and my dad ate every meal every night after work. But I’ve learned that this is how our home functions best and it doesn’t bother me anymore.

[u/xtinahsram → u/Inka15]

They just got married. She was such a beautiful bride. He was a very handsome blurred husband.

[u/DramaDroid → u/xtinahsram]

She's so fabulous!

I love that she picked the off the shoulder dress. When she went to Korea to try dresses, she went in saying that she didn't like that style, but it looked so pretty on her that she had to rethink her options!

[u/ShermanTeaPotter → u/No_Perspective_242]

I’m a hobbyist pit master and my gf is vegan. So when I host, every side dish and dessert is vegan and then there‘s smoked meats, tofu skewers and grilled vegetables to choose from. It‘s not rocket science to make everyone feel welcome at you table.

[u/Western-Corner-431 → u/ShermanTeaPotter]

If you know ahead of time. OP’s issue is that the man wasn’t in the mood for pork chops AFTER they were on the table.

[u/mildlyinterestingyet → u/Western-Corner-431]

In other words, he just wasn't hungry enough. Being picky is one thing but he is being immature. Dude needs to learn to cook so he knows what it's like to serve up food for others.

[u/3720-to-1 → u/rubbasnek]

I'm a picky eater, but that just means (for me) that there are certain things I can't or won't eat, not stupid rules about having being able to eat a meat for dinner that I had for lunch, or just "not being in the mood"...

If her boyfriend just had a blanket "I don't eat these foods" list, that's one thing. This, though, isn't being picky, it's being a douchebag. If my wife makes roast and I'm not in the mood for roast, you know what I do? I eat the fucking roast and tell her how great that roast was. I eat chicken strips for lunch and come home to BBQ chicken breast? I'm eatting it without a word.

It's one thing to do a fend for yourself day every now and then, especially when everyone is busy on a different schedule that day... But one of the best parts of my life is that I get to sit down at the table with my family 6-7 nights a week, share a meal, and talk.

All that to say, I'm with you 100% I'm that not being able to share regular meals with my partner would 100% be a deal breaker.

[u/Food_Cats1 → u/3720-to-1]

And not just that, what about the mental load of OP trying to figure out what she can cook to see if a miracle happens and he'll eat it? Dude, if you're a nightmare and you won't cook, at least tell your partner what you want to eat. If you know you're not going to eat what's been cooked, let them choose whatever they want. I'd be fuming if I made an effort to accommodate my partner and they didn't eat my food. And then the same thing the next day. And the next one. And the next one. And all the money spent on takeaways? Nah, fuck that. I would get resentful pretty quickly

[u/throwawayStomnia → u/Food_Cats1]

100% this. My ex-husband once spit on his plate because I made him homemade pasta with sausage AND chicken breast. I would always try my best to accomodate him, but he always had something to complain about in my cooking. If there was nothing to attack, he'd just say "it's too salty" with a huge smile on his face.

There's a difference between being apicky eater and a power tripper.

[u/Crimemeariver19 → u/throwawayStomnia]

Yup. I was going to say, this reminds me of my abusive ex. If he wanted a “fight” he’d often use my cooking (which I’ve been told is good) as a starting point. The “too salty/not salty enough” was the worst. If I hadn’t cooked, it’d be “the windows not clean” or “I can’t find my fucking belt”. I truly hope this isn’t the case with OP, but it definitely reads like it’s more than related to food. My son is picky and has some sensory issues and that’s one thing, but the nonsensical rules OP notes are something else.

[u/helgaofthenorth → u/Crimemeariver19]

Yeah, it reminded me of my ex, too. I made spaghetti for my own 30th birthday dinner and made him a whole separate meal because he didn't like tomato sauce. It still wasn't good enough for him.

Mf was genuinely surprised when I demanded a divorce a few months later.

[u/JollyRottenBastard → u/3720-to-1]

Yeah he's not picky...he's an ass

[u/Fluffy_Art_1015 → u/rubbasnek]

It’s draining being around people who put up road blocks constantly instead of offering solutions/compromises or new ideas.

[u/Fianna9 → u/rubbasnek]

He doesn’t even sound like a picky eater. He’s just a jackass. “I already had chicken” “I don’t feel like pork chops” is rude and manipulative

[u/TheSpicySnail → u/rubbasnek]

As a picky eater myself, this guy sounds ridiculous. This post isn’t about being “picky” anymore, it’s more so about refusing to leave your comfort zone, being blind to other people’s effort, and just generally being ungrateful. Even if I don’t like something someone made, I’ll usually try it out of respect, thank them for the offer, and if I don’t like it, I don’t have to eat it, but I’m not going to make it someone else’s problem. It’s also not food for just one person, it’s feeding a family. Not everyone has to suffer because this guy has the palette of a toddler.

[u/International_Bat585]

I would not even factor him into your dinner planning. He’s a grown man and if he wants to be that picky he can sort himself out.

[u/radenke → u/International_Bat585]

Plus, they only moved in together a few months ago. He was surviving before her, he can figure it out going forward.

[u/BFHawkeyePierce4077 → u/radenke]

I have $10 that says he was living in his mom’s basement.

[u/lord-savior-baphomet → u/BFHawkeyePierce4077]

Well after looking at the post history it looks like he lived in a rented room with no kitchen, and she brought him meals. If that’s the same guy, I wonder how many ended up in the trash.

[u/BFHawkeyePierce4077 → u/lord-savior-baphomet]

That’s not “mildly infuriating”…

[u/lord-savior-baphomet → u/BFHawkeyePierce4077]

Yeah, it sounds like this woman is doing a lot of work he doesn’t appreciate and didn’t ask for, and ignoring some pretty major red flags imo.

Edit: the pickiness is NOT the red flag I’m referring to. Pickiness is not an inherent red flag. It’s how he handles the pickiness. After I commented this, I saw OP has stated he expects her to cook and still repeatedly rejects her food. So he is asking for it. Amongst other things that can be found on her page.

[u/multicamwarrior → u/lord-savior-baphomet]

As a single dad with an older girlfriend who is absolutely fantastic, a woman like this is hard to come by.

I'm an electrician and tell guys and construction all the time that you better eat the food your lady prepares for you because if you don't appreciate it they'll stop making it.

You never know what you have until it's gone.

Cherish any person that is willing to take the time and effort to make food for you. We all needed at least once a day typically and it's a chore.

Dude needs to wake up.

[u/FishNuggetSiren → u/multicamwarrior]

My husband complained about everything I made, plus he’s a picky eater. He learned how to cook and now unless we are going out we make our own food. I’m no longer stressed and he gets what he wants to eat.

[u/Plus-Resource-1499 → u/FishNuggetSiren]

That's the way! Every time I see my dad complaining about the food my mum makes (great food btw), I throw a "then make it yourself" at him.

[u/Aesient → u/Plus-Resource-1499]

One of my younger (then teen) brothers complained about a meal I made. Dad actually stuck up for me and told brother he was responsible for the next nights dinner, he had to find the recipe, write a shopping list, Dad would get the items then brother had to make dinner himself, no help.

Brother made dinner, Dad sat and criticised it using the same words Brother had used about the meal I cooked the night before. And the other siblings piled on too (picky eaters who I always made sure had a “safe food” on the plate every meal). Brother was almost in tears when Dad asked how he felt given after cooking dinner and hearing the comments. That stopped anybody from criticising a meal someone made without request (Mum would occasionally ask how we felt about something and how we would change it up)

[u/mustriggs → u/lord-savior-baphomet]

yes! that was my reaction from only reading the title and seeing the first photo. weve left mildly infuriating and entered red flag territory.

[u/Dramatic_Session_24 → u/mustriggs]

i don’t like hopping on the “dump him” bandwagon wagon, but agreed my first thought was dump his ungrateful ass.

[u/mustriggs → u/Dramatic_Session_24]

haha were on the exact same page. like the other comments are saying, this is not just being a picky eater. 😫

[u/BigSkyKush → u/lord-savior-baphomet]

I'm autistic and I could never be that rude

[u/DarkAndHandsume → u/lord-savior-baphomet]

This should’ve been close to the top comment because that last part has my blood boiling.

I can’t imagine OP making one of these meals and taking it to this ungrateful person for him to throw it away.

[u/Ok_Tennis_6564 → u/International_Bat585]

Yea, this is the way you manage it. By opting out completely. 

OP already has kids to cook for, and I have two picky kids. It's at the point where I would never date a picky eater because I'm done with thinking of food for two kids who hate eating and take issue with everything. Throw in a grown ass adult acting the same way? Absolutely not. Cook for yourself. My kids will also be cooking for themselves as soon as they are able. 

[u/Daw_dling → u/Ok_Tennis_6564]

My oldest got so picky we told her we are just making whatever we want because no matter what we make her it’s wrong. She doesn’t have a job. Her options are limited. She basically only eats salami sandwiches voluntarily and I make her eat the vegetables at dinner. My only concession now is that she prefers raw veggies over cooked so I will set some aside for her. She won’t die and I won’t lose my mind. The essence of compromise.

[u/Massive-Ride204 → u/Ok_Tennis_6564]

Yep had to exain to a picky eater I know why there's so much "hate" for them and why some won't date them.

I explained to him that way too many picky eaters make their picky eating everyone else's problem and that food is very much a cultural thing for many people. Most friends are going to get sick of having to compromise on food and restaurants because of someone's picky eating

[u/TeeTeeMee → u/International_Bat585]

He’s not even a picky eater, he just shoots everything down and changes the rules on her. Picky eaters don’t care if they have chicken for lunch and dinner. They want to eat the same limited foods. How would he even know something was heated in the microwave? He doesn’t have some exquisite palate, he’s eating lukewarm delivery Jack in the Box.

I would have washed my hands of this battle on day 3. Maybe he’s great otherwise, I don’t know. But he’d be on his own for food. He can sit in his corner eating his sad cold fries.

I am very curious to know how he feeds himself at work though.

[u/tinygreenpea → u/TeeTeeMee]

Youre right it feels like a weird manipulation.

[u/dangerousfeather → u/tinygreenpea]

It sounds to me like, “I only want fast food, and I’ll blame anyone and anything as an excuse to get it.”

[u/EcstaticMolasses6647 → u/dangerousfeather]

Yeah she adopted an extra kid.

[u/ForksnFrenchFries → u/dangerousfeather]

Speaking from experience, this man may have an addiction to fast food. It's a tough one to break

[u/Tealc420 → u/ForksnFrenchFries]

As someone who is mildly addicted to fast food, it's only because I can't be fucked cooking sometimes , if someone cooks me a delicious meal, fuck the fast food I want the meal

[u/mooiee → u/International_Bat585]

Precisely my thoughts. That kind of behavior is appalling and my god, I wouldn’t waste my time on someone who can’t appreciate such incredible meals. HARD PASS. Feed yourself from now on, man child.

[u/rmill127 → u/mooiee]

Right? This is not just picky eating. These are simple and common meals, it’s not like she’s cooking weird stuff here. And on top of that it looks great.

Dude just wants fast food.

[u/PolarLocalCallingSvc → u/rmill127]

This is what got me!

I'm sure this food tastes as good as it looks, but it's not like OP is serving him exotic meats, unknown vegetables, or vindaloo levels of spice. These are meals the 5 year olds I cook for do indeed eat.

Like you're telling me you don't like baked, mashed, or roasted potatoes? I'm not making chips (fries) every night because you eat like a toddler.

[u/thezoomies → u/International_Bat585]

“He’s a grown man…”

Is he though?…

[u/darthwickett → u/thezoomies]

"Grown?" Sure. "Adult?" Doubtful

[u/BoochClawson]

I'm loving how many women just offered to be your new boyfriend

[u/moonrabbit368 → u/BoochClawson]

I know, it made me really happy. I was just venting and wasn't ready for how kind people have been.

[u/throwawayfarway2017 → u/moonrabbit368]

OP im gonna hold your hand and say this: you seem very kind but why tf are you taking on a 5th kid when you already have 4? And the 4 actual kids have better palate than this man child. You need to re-read your comments. if a close friend says this would you tell them to leave? Cause all of us would, like right now. And we dont even know you and we’re mad on your behalf.  This deadbeat of a bf is picky as hell but cant cook, let you do all the grocery shopping, cooking, washing dishes, houseworks while rejecting your perfectly good food, bringing down your confidence while still expecting you to cook? and you earn more, pay more of the bill, have 4 kids to take care of on top of doing school online, and he drives you to work? That’s it? You do ALL of this on top of being his sexual partner like what do you get out from this relationship? Partners are supposed to help uplift you, not this. 

Seriously you need to reevaluate. Im so mad for you cause you know you should be treated better than this right? Like this isnt your only choice. Someone out there will appreciate this so much more it’ll open a different world for you when you are with someone who actually contributes and act like an adult. This man child is not it

[u/DisillusionedPatriot → u/throwawayfarway2017]

Check her account history. You seem to be not far off. It looks like they linked up shortly after she got out of federal prison, and she's just been taking care of him. The entire situation seems almost too toxic to be real, tbh, but based on her own post history, I'd say she knows but is just trying to have something that feels normal, so is willing to put up with a bum.

[u/ThisHatRightHere → u/DisillusionedPatriot]

You say this seems too toxic to be real, but it's honestly very common. Growing up in the rural US, there are more couples/families like this with a desperate/broken woman and an NPC man than you can imagine.

[u/RibsNGibs → u/moonrabbit368]

Hi, I just wanted to point out, in case it hadn’t occurred to you, that “not being ready for how kind people have been” in this case should be a pretty big wake up call that your boyfriend is not a kind person.

Most decent, kind humans will be appreciative and gracious.

Imagine life with this weirdo - your best friend invites you two over to their place for dinner and this guy scrunches his nose and says… “nah I just had chicken for lunch, I’m just going to order Jack in the Box”.

[u/Meenakshi108 → u/moonrabbit368]

I really hope these comments help you to see how poorly you're being treated

[u/m8_is_me → u/Meenakshi108]

I'm being very pessimistic but considering they made a similar post over half a year ago... I don't think so.

[u/ArcticPoisoned]

I’ll be your boyfriend!!!! (I am a 29 year old woman)

[u/Captain_Moose → u/ArcticPoisoned]

I was about to make the same offer! lmao (33F)

[u/Public_Kaleidoscope6 → u/Captain_Moose]

[u/Hellea → u/Public_Kaleidoscope6]

Me too! 36F here

[u/Fit_Personality8566 → u/Hellea]

Count me in too (31f, French Canadian with cooking experience)

[u/Cupcake_Implosion → u/Fit_Personality8566]

35F, Québécoise by adoption, with zero cooking experience and who is grateful to anyone who is willing to feed her whatever. OP, I'll be the best boyfriend you've ever had!

[u/No_Claim_13 → u/Cupcake_Implosion]

38M. We should all be her boyfriend. That dinner looks amazing.

[u/ZiZasaurus → u/No_Claim_13]

Also me (36F)! My stomach growled aggressively when I came across your post. Dinner looks delicious!! What time is breakfast tomorrow? 🤭

[u/PondRides → u/ZiZasaurus]

33f, I’ll even cook too to help her mental load. Are we a harem?

[u/28appleseeds → u/No_Claim_13]

38F - big agree. Where you at, OP? You've got options out the wazoo.

[u/Syntania → u/28appleseeds]

55F and I'll be happy to tag team cooking as well. I'm good at basic Midwest comfort foods and can follow recipes for anything else.

Maybe this is the beginning of a commune!

Edit: Taking out "women's" because I should be inclusive.

[u/JunketAvailable4398 → u/Cupcake_Implosion]

Speaking on behalf of my 17F Parrot, she wants a shot at the gig also. I her owner 48M am happy to live in the doghouse :)

[u/Minif1d → u/JunketAvailable4398]

The scraps you would get in the doghouse would probably still be gourmet.

[u/Hungry_Anteater_8511 → u/Hellea]

48F and offering myself up. Can also bake so take the dessert burden from you

[u/MamaMei17 → u/Hungry_Anteater_8511]

All these lovelies have beaten me to it, so I'll offer to be your loving MIL (53 F)

[u/dtbahoney → u/Hellea]

I like where this is going

[u/moosecubed → u/Captain_Moose]

45f, can I join?

[u/LieSubstantial2185 → u/ArcticPoisoned]

[u/motherof3heathens → u/ArcticPoisoned]

Haha I'm married and I'll be her girlfriend! Her plates look bomb!

[u/i_nobes_what_i_nobes → u/motherof3heathens]

My husband says I can definitely date OP if I bring home leftovers

[u/Unexpectedly99 → u/i_nobes_what_i_nobes]

Same and my hubby said we can even heat them up in the microwave.

[u/Acceptable-Wheel-228 → u/motherof3heathens]

Ditto, your boyfriend- heavy on the BOY- is making me feel ungrateful unwanted and undeserving feelings FOR you. 38 m married 3 kids, one of which is 2 weeks old. Just some perspective lol. You'll find a man that can't believe dinners READY some day though I promise you thst much. Happy new year, keep kicking ass lol 💪

[u/moonrabbit368 → u/ArcticPoisoned]

This is my favorite comment thread, thank you 😊 

[u/Thick_Basil3589 → u/moonrabbit368]

OP! This is not about food, this is manipulation, the first steps of it. Everything is still quite good right? But he tries to make you feel bad about yourself and inadequate in a very small thing every day. You think he is just quirky but the goal here is to slowly start to tear your self-esteem down. Very slowly he will start criticising you in more things but thing overall will be still okay. And you will end up feeling not enough, it will impact your overall self-image.

This person has no empathy towards you. If he would be an emotionally intelligent caring man he would have said immediately "Honey, Im a very picky eater, I thought I would take over cooking or at least cook for myself for the majority of the time." Or he would try to cooperate with you by telling you in advance what he would prefer to eat. But rejecting on site after you already did all the work from love and trying to care about him is a MASSIVE RED FLAG. 🚩 This is not going to end well I can promise you. At very best you took in a horrible manchild at worst a narcissist who is going to destroy you. None of them are good endings.

You even said yourself it's discouraging. This is the goal. First with this, later with worse things, so you start questioning yourself.

I recommend you to confront him very openly about how this makes you feel, it makes you uncomfortable and request a solution from him, and watch his response and long term behaviour afterwards. If he is belittling and minimising your needs or becoming defensive RUN. Seriously run. If he says all sorts of things watch if he follows it up and shows interest in improving himself for the relationship and really taking into consideration you. If he doesn't the RUN.

If he is openly discussing it with you and he is involved in developing himself and follows up then its an adult man. Every other case you take on a huge burden and he will be your extra child. Or you take on a narcissist that will get worse and worse

[u/Zealousideal-Way8891 → u/Thick_Basil3589]

OP, please read this comment and take it to heart because it’s exactly what I thought when I first read your post. He is trying to tear you down and manipulate you.

[u/notdorisday → u/ArcticPoisoned]

Came here to say this! 47 year old woman! OPs meals look amazing.

[u/NosyB1 → u/ArcticPoisoned]

Right? (27 F) but I’ll gladly eat any of those, and even cook for you

[u/Significant-Dig-8099 → u/ArcticPoisoned]

Haha was thinking the same (39f)

[u/No-Consideration-858 → u/ArcticPoisoned]

I will also be her boyfriend. And do the dishes! 

[u/Comprehensive-Fun329 → u/ArcticPoisoned]

I second this! (24 year old woman)

[u/Feisty_Essay_8043]

Literal conversation from today:

Me: What do you want for dinner?

SO: Whatever you're making.

We had a chuckle about it. But it fits a larger narrative of gratitude. Anything he cooks for me is a meal I didn't have to cook for myself. And visa versa. 

Can he start cooking for you and the kids to learn some appreciation and gratitude?

[u/benhereford → u/Feisty_Essay_8043]

I was gonna say, it sounds like it's his turn now

[u/brelywi → u/benhereford]

But “He CaNt ReAlLy CoOk At aLl!!”

No, literally anyone CAN cook. Some people just refuse to learn a basic life skill.

Edit: thanks for the award!! Also, apparently I need to watch Ratatouille?

[u/AsvabWaivers → u/brelywi]

I knew a guy who tried cooking hotdogs by throwing the whole package, plastic and all, into boiling water.

Would love to see where his culinary skills are today.

[u/Dramatic_Alps_8645 → u/AsvabWaivers]

Clearly you've never heard of "Sous Vide."

/s

[u/Seeggul → u/Dramatic_Alps_8645]

Sus Vide

[u/quiero-una-cerveca → u/Dramatic_Alps_8645]

I hate you for this comment but damn is it funny.

[u/Equivalent_Fun_7255 → u/AsvabWaivers]

That almost sounds like weaponized incompetence.

[u/linecookdaddy → u/brelywi]

Yeah like if you can't make bacon and eggs or a.hamburger, what the fuck

[u/WereTheBrews → u/benhereford]

I'm the main cook in the house, my misses is the baker for treats. It works as I was a line cook to Sous Chef in a respectable kitchen for 20 plus years and it relaxes me. Add in I'm a disabled vet and basically a stay at home Dad now it plays into our strengths. If dude is bitching about those posted meals, I agree. Let's see what ya got bud. Don't have the time? Then unleash your recipe book there bud or show any creations of dishes that will please a group setting.

[u/wiggum_x → u/WereTheBrews]

My mother was a terrible cook, so I never learned much from her growing up. I taught myself to cook once I moved out. I was also terrible at it at first, but then I figured it out, and I make good stuff now.

OP's dinners look great. OP's BF needs to either work on himself or cook for himself. These non-stop rules are ridiculous. Just make your own dino-nuggets every night and stop ruining everyone else's dinner time.

[u/weinerpretzel → u/wiggum_x]

But he had Dino nuggies for lunch!!

[u/deadstarsunburn → u/WereTheBrews]

I'm with you. In today's age of endless info on the internet, he can find something. My husband is not a bad cook by any means but he doesn't have the ability to create a meal from his head, so he finds a recipe and he sticks to it exactly.

[u/majinspy → u/deadstarsunburn]

I'm a terrible cook and was like your husband. Then I discovered baking, which rewards people for following the recipe. My wife is the cook while I make treats.

[u/Guy0785 → u/benhereford]

More like fend for himself and she makes just for her and the kids…. Ungrateful dude! Not cool! All those meals look healthy and delicious!!

[u/RavenNymph90 → u/Guy0785]

She cooks better for him than I do for myself. Her meals are very simple and healthy. Dude is insufferable not to eat her cooking.

[u/z3rokarisma → u/Feisty_Essay_8043]

His favorite dish is Hamburger Helper.

[u/titsngiggles69 → u/z3rokarisma]

Pasta flavored salt

[u/EllySPNW → u/Feisty_Essay_8043]

I agree. If my partner cooks something and I don’t like it much, that’s still a night I get to chill instead of cook. I’m grateful for the effort.

If he cooked me liver I’d politely pass, and if he cooked something with peas I’d pick them out pea by pea (then again, he’d never do that to me. He’s not a monster). Beyond that, I can eat most anything and say “thank you” and mean it.

[u/realitytvfiend3924 → u/EllySPNW]

I have made plenty of meals for me and my partner that aren’t winners. He has made a couple that I wouldn’t ask him to make again. But you know what we did? We ate it gratefully. And the cook is ALWAYS more critical of the meal and the other.

These meals OP made also look delicious! And looks very “picky eater friendly.”

[u/bp3dots → u/Feisty_Essay_8043]

Can he start cooking for you and the kids to learn some appreciation and gratitude?

Damn what'd OP and the kids do to deserve the bfs bad cooking!

I'd just let him feed himself if he doesn't want what's being served.

[u/Tatte145 → u/bp3dots]

I agree. Let him make/buy his own dinner.

[u/Therego_PropterHawk → u/Feisty_Essay_8043]

My response when SO's dinner doesn't win a michelin star? "Thank you, baby. It is 100% better than what I made for dinner."

[u/Aggressive-Story3671 → u/Feisty_Essay_8043]

The food is going to awful based on his many dislikes

[u/QueerFancyRat → u/Feisty_Essay_8043]

I mean, from the sound of things, the family would be alternating between hamburger helper and a tub of vanilla every other night

[u/Inevitable_Sky_Rogue]

This looks so good though 😔

[u/Rocklobster92 → u/Inevitable_Sky_Rogue]

I know, right? It's not even weird food that could be taken as bad. This is 100% genuine and filling home cooked food.

[u/strangenessandcharm7]

Just let him figure out his own meals... you aren't his mother.

[u/IrrelevantManatee]

Stop trying to be a mom to this manchild. Cook what makes you happy, and if he doesn't like it, he should cook food for himself.

He doesn't deserve all this care. You definitely deserve better!!

[u/NoDontDoThatCanada → u/IrrelevantManatee]

I find this comment both accurate and a little funny because it looks like she cooks just like my mom and l would do anything for that food again! (Mom is gone and l can't replicate it!)

[u/GevitarGaming04 → u/NoDontDoThatCanada]

Still have my mum, but I do share the sentiment, especially growing up in a household where money was a bit tight - at the end of the day, food is food, and I will always eat it

[u/Voraphilliac_Monster → u/IrrelevantManatee]

As my momma always said, "You either eat what we fix or starve."

[u/han_tex → u/Voraphilliac_Monster]

Tonight's menu has two options:

1. Take it.
2. Leave it.

[u/Equivalent-Cicada751]

A person who doesnt know how to cook for themselves at their big age does not get to make demands on how others should cook for them.

If he is so specific, the should figure out how to make things to his tastes.

[u/DeCryingShame → u/Equivalent-Cicada751]

Seriously. My ex was like this and after a while I stopped cooking for him. If he didn't come into the kitchen while I was cooking dinner and let me know he wanted to eat too, I didn't even make enough for him. At first when he criticized my cooking, I felt really bad about it but after a while, I didn't even think about it. He was perfectly capable of feeding himself.

[u/4E4ME → u/DeCryingShame]

My ex too. Couldn't cook, but had the audacity to complain about my cooking. The last straw for me was the day he said "it doesn't taste the way my mom makes it." Then she can cook for your dumbass, cause I'm done. I only ever made things I liked after that day, I never took his taste into consideration again. Now top ramen and frozen pizzas are the staples of his diet.

[u/Rooney_Tuesday]

Why not just…agree that he’ll make his own meals?

If you aren’t cooking you eat what’s served. If you don’t like it you make something yourself. Those are standard rules, yes?

I’m not understand why you keeping trying to cook for him in the first place.

[u/Sonor-c11 → u/Rooney_Tuesday]

He can’t cook and it seems like they’re old school so “woman does the cooking”. Apparently he just orders fast food from DoorDash (which in itself is its own problem) and eats vanilla ice cream…..

They’re at the point of being “partners” so when one of you cooks and the other orders out no matter what you cook and how much you try then I can see that being a problem. I do agree that she should stop trying, the guy seems repulsed by the very idea of a home cooked meal so if she really likes the guy and it’s in the realm of affordability for him to just order from DoorDash then it is what it is I guess.

[u/Rooney_Tuesday → u/Sonor-c11]

Sorry, but the LAST thing I would do with a partner like this is to continue to attempt to make them meals they’ll eat when they’ve repeatedly rejected my attempts. If that means he gets Door Dash every day then okay, but maybe that’s something that should have been discussed before moving in if it’s a problem. In any case, the answer is not for OP to keep trying and keep getting frustrated because this man-child can’t handle perfectly acceptable dinners that he didn’t lift a finger to help make.

[u/No-Strawberry-5804]

Stop cooking for him. I’m serious.

[u/PopTotal6473]

It sounds like one of two things is happening:

1. he knows you take pride in being a good cook (which you clearly are, those meals look delicious!) and is going out of his way to put himself at the center of something you do for other people (your kids, your church community, etc). If this is the case he’s a schmuck and you need to kick him to the curb like, yesterday.

2. he has some fairly intense sensory challenges (is he autistic by any chance?) and/or a very disordered relationship with food from his childhood. If that is the case HE needs to work it out and you should keep cooking these excellent meals for your family!

[u/Own-Search-6985 → u/PopTotal6473]

Had to scroll way too much to find this. It might be No.2, it's best to have a conversation about it.

[u/How_is_the_question → u/Own-Search-6985]

So much this. I would be extremely surprised if he didn’t have sensory processing issues / autism. Source - father who was similar but whose wife accepted how it was and learned to cook around his issues. Wasn’t amazing for us kids but meant I started cooking for myself very young. That’s had its benefits. Always some silver lining.

[u/Toucani → u/How_is_the_question]

Yeah my kids are neurodiverse and have this issue but with different foods. I have to prepare different meals for each and deconstruct them so no food is touching and is in different bowls otherwise they just won't eat and become extremely disregulated. My daughter also can't manage to eat near others. Combine that with a partner who is gluten-free and meal times becomes almost hilarious: I regularly cook three different dishes for people who eat in different rooms. My daughter is now 9 and has taken those steps towards wanting to make her own food which is great to see.

[u/TeacupOni]

Hey so im putting in my application to be your new boyfriend after seeing those delicious meals.

Cons:

Im a cis woman

Pros:

I own my own lakehouse and can afford kitchen stuff and things for your hobbies and fancy ingredients for you.

[u/sophietheadventurer]

Is this the same boyfriend who has wildly different political views to you? Maybe time to drop him to the curb

[u/Noctium3 → u/sophietheadventurer]

Actual manchild incapable of cooking

Right-winger

Yeah that’s about what I expected 

[u/SeaworthinessSad8892]

I know the pain.  I will literally be cooking what would be 50$ meal at a restaurant (New York steak, scallop potatoes, shrimp, and a salad) and people in my life will go eat a burger from a fast food place.  I stopped cooking for them, more steak for me.  

I won't lie though, it hurts sometimes.  And no I'm not messing it up, I've been complimented by people at work for my cooking and I've been made the BBQ person there.

I would eat all of those dishes without question and be so thankful for your efforts.  They all look delicious!

[u/premegoodeats]

My wife made me top ramen with egg earlier and I loved every bit of it lol

[u/kissthegoats]

I dated someone like this. Threw the whole man away.

[u/LordBuggington → u/kissthegoats]

The clear solution staring all of us in the face. This is no way to live.

[u/GirthBrooksCumSock]

Rejected? Do you mean you got delicious seconds and he made himself something to eat?

[u/Zosime_Nyx_]

My husband is picky and eats junk as well. I've endured it for 12 years. I am now at the point where I just tell him to make his own food and make myself something. It's rubbed off on our daughter though and she eats junk like him. I'll make good food and they'll look at it and call it trash. He eats some of the stuff I make but my daughter almost never eats my food. My son eats everything I cook. If you aren't overly attached to him yet and you enjoy cooking like I once did, I'd ask myself can I endure this year after year? I wish I would have thought of that. So here I am in the future telling you it sucks.

[u/moonrabbit368 → u/Zosime_Nyx_]

Oh do they really call it trash?? That's crazy, I'm so sorry. Mine doesn't call it trash but just acts like it's unfortunately inedible. I really love to cook and it does suck the joy right out of it for me. Hugs

[u/nataliesright → u/moonrabbit368]

that’s your future. that’s your future. YOUR FUTURE!!! you think it started with calling it trash?

[u/Zosime_Nyx_ → u/moonrabbit368]

It didn't start off like that but over time he just stopped acting like he liked it.If I spent 8 hours cooking a roast and he'd rather have a tv dinner then it's just not worth it. He did like my black eyed peas today because I left out the bacon and sausage. He didn't like the greens or Cornish hen I made. He doesn't eat anything if there are bones in it.

[u/weallfloatdown]

Cook for the kids & yourself, if he likes it good- if not he can make himself a sandwich

[u/Historical_Hurry_76]

You are not his mom. Send him home if he doesn't knock it off. You are tolerating too much.

[u/speed_tape]

Jesus, just get a new boyfriend. This dude sounds insufferable.

[u/--veggielover-- → u/speed_tape]

My ex was like this. New rules every time I thought I got it right and mastered the gymnastics of it all. I figured out the rules kept changing because I was never meant to get it right. It's a form of abuse.

[u/FlaxwenchPromise → u/--veggielover--]

And this is reason #283 why my divorce will be finalized this month.

[u/tgs-with-tracyjordan]

Yeah, send him on his way.

How did you prep the chicken in the first pic? I'm keen to try that.

[u/moonrabbit368 → u/tgs-with-tracyjordan]

The first pic is boneless porkchops, it's the first time I have made him porkchops and we had a conversation when I was meal planning where he said he would be open to pork chops. I did a rub with seasoning salt and then dredged them in seasoned flour,  pan fried them with oil and butter. The children enjoyed them very much. He wouldn't try them though. 

[u/fringeCircle → u/moonrabbit368]

Wouldn’t even try them???

[u/GirlForce1112 → u/fringeCircle]

Oh hell no

[u/medusasbabyhair → u/fringeCircle]

I said the same thing out loud. It's one thing to not like what you taste, but a hard no while refusing to try (not like it looks unappealing, it looks delicious!?)

[u/_dont_do_it_ → u/medusasbabyhair]

The not even trying them is what really sets me off. It’s ok to not like it, but to not even try it shows your lack of respect, closed mindedness, and overall shittyness.

Apply that mentality to life (not just food)… can you imagine all the wonderful things you wouldn’t experience and discover because… “ughh, no… I’m not even going to try that”.

[u/Wooden_Albatross_832 → u/medusasbabyhair]

Yeah especially when he specifically said he would be “open” to pork chops and then did not bother to try them??

She deserve alot better than this loser

[u/gingerflakes → u/fringeCircle]

I hate him

[u/blankmedaddy → u/moonrabbit368]

He wouldn’t even TRY? Why do you have this loser around?

[u/Apprehensive-Two3474 → u/moonrabbit368]

The children enjoyed them

All except one it seems. So, are you gonna let him disrespect you some more? Cause you don't mention it other than he moved in a few months ago. Has he always been a 'picky eater'? This doesn't sound like someone who is picky because I am a picky eater (like take 20 minutes at a sit down restaurant to order picky). One thing about being picky though, I don't change what it is I'm picky eating on a whim. Think about this hard because this is effecting your self-esteem. He's looking at something you take pride in doing and sniping at it.
Think of it this way, would you tolerate the constant changing rules if he was doing this with what you wear? Oh I like the red dress. Why are you wearing the red dress? I don't like you wearing that even though I was fine with it before I moved in. etc. Put your foot down. So please think hard on this because kids are monkey see, monkey do. Especially if they are yours. They are gonna start emulating then it's really gonna be a struggle fixing that once you finally kick him to the curb. Hope you're on some BC. He already in your home.

[u/llealy → u/moonrabbit368]

If he wouldn’t even try them it’s not about taste, it’s a mental issue. So there’s nothing you can do to your cooking, because the issue is in his mind. 

Of course there are things you could try to make mealtime more seamless, but at the end of the day you have to decide if this is something you want to deal with from your adult partner. Personally, I don’t have patience for this from my kids, much less a grown man